The Flashmatic Chronicles: Origins at Ouran Academy
by Pass The Sugar
Summary: Mary and Evie are best friends, self-inserts, and too old to be hanging around Ouran Academy. With a magical remote control, they're here to wreck the plot, have some fun, and get into lots of trouble! First in a series of fandom hopping. Slice of life, friendship, and maybe some romance if you squint hard enough.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated with the _Ouran High School Host Club_ series or its associates. This is a terrible fan-made fanfiction. My apologies to Bisco Hatori at the get-go.

Well… Here I am! You can call me Moxy, but I'm already on fanfiction elsewhere under a different name. This account is reserved for shameless self-insert stories, and other general nonsense I didn't want clogging up my main account. So if you're bothered by self-inserts, you can just shut the door on your way out. xD

One thing I don't like is Mary Sue's, so I can promise that my characters are going to have depth and flaws just like anybody else. Mary Sue's just aren't as fun, you know?

This is the first story in a potential series of fandom jumping. If you don't get it now, you'll be well aware by the last click of your mouse. Many chapters, many shenanigans, and many conflicts later, of course! Oh. And I am only using information in the show. You'll understand why in a few chapters.

My best friend and I are the inserts. Try not to gag.

Enjoy! :D

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

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><p>Evie spread out her sleeping bag, already knowing this was a terrible idea. She suppressed a yawn as she reached for her lumpy pillow and orange stuffed cat plushy. Her eye caught the time on the microwave clock. It was well past ten. Though, her friend insisted everything should be on the twenty-four hour clock, making it well past 22:00. <em>Yeah, this is a terrible idea.<em>

Mary was blabbering away next to her television set, winging a DVD case around in the air and bouncing up and down as she waited for the disc to load. Her eyes were bright – and some might say maniacal – as she obsessively went on about the show they were about to watch. In full. "The characters are the best part; I just can't get enough of these guys. They're like long-lost friends, you know? And it can get pretty weird sometimes, and Japan and stuff, but it's really good! Since each episode is about twenty-three minutes, we should be able to get through it in… um… math…"

"How many episodes are there?" Evie asked, always willing to help out.

"Twenty-six?" Mary sheepishly said, hoping her friend wasn't deterred by the obscene length of the marathon they were about to endure. She was already embarrassed enough she was introducing her friend to an anime. And no matter how much she tried to kid herself and everyone around her, she knew she needed to just admit she liked _some_ anime, instead of pretending to be ignorant of the subject or refusing it entirely in public.

Evie held out her fingers like they were useful for this kind of counting as her eyes watched the ceiling in concentration. "So… ten hours?"

"Is that bad?" Mary asked, nervous once again as the beginning credits rolled on the TV behind her.

"We can do it!" Evie claimed optimistically, throwing her arms in the air.

"Woo!" Mary cheered, doing the same before tackling her bed at a run. The Funimation logo lit up the screen, and she started to bounce on her creaky bed.

"Excited?" Evie guessed, getting comfortable on the air mattress Mary provided for her. It stayed in her room all the time, just in case Evie - who practically lived at her house - needed to stay over on nights like these.

"You have no idea!" Mary complained, grabbing her stuffed monkey Melvin and squishing him tight. Her other hand was aimed at the DVD player, mashing the buttons that refused to skip the previews. "I've known about this show for _years_, and I'm finally going to get to talk about it with someone else! This is going to be so cool – you'll love it, I promise!"

Evie trusted her friend for the moment and propped her head up in her hands, lying on her stomach. The air mattress wobbled beneath her whenever she moved. The next preview they couldn't skip looked very strange – cartoons with over-sized eyes, under-sized skirts, and ridiculous issues. Evie was already losing faith in Mary's promise that she'd 'love it.'

"Oh my God, I'm so excited! Oh my God, I'm so excited! Oh my God, I'm so excited!" Mary chanted, completely enveloped in the title screen. Roses and beautiful string music seemed to fill the dark bedroom. The menu came up, showing different play options. "PLAY ALL! Ah, wait! I gotta pee!"

Her friend laughed as Mary fled from the room. "You're like a Chihuahua – you get excited, and you need to pee."

"Shut up!" Mary shouted indignantly, the bathroom door slamming behind her.

Evie reached for the discarded box set, flipping it over and scanning the back. "_Ouran High School Host Club_…" The animation reminded her of one of her favorite series: _Avatar: The Last Airbender_, but everything looked more exaggerated and girly. She plopped the box set down as Mary re-entered the room, buzzing around like she had too much sugar.

She hit the remote, clutching her stuffed monkey again. "Here we go!"


	2. The Dusty Flashmatic

Hey, thanks for the favorites and follows and stuff! I was… kind of expecting everyone to hate this. Strange. But thank you very much! :D

We're getting into the real chapters now, so get ready for plot, character development, and lots and lots of words! Yeah. All that stuff.

Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>The Dusty Flashmatic<strong>

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><p>On a dull, wintry Saturday evening, Mary slammed her car door with a yawn. Snowflakes were starting to spin in the cold air. She stretched her arms up to the sky and reached on her tip toes. Satisfied, she slung her canvas bag over her shoulder and made her way across the gravel drive to the house she grew up in.<p>

The screen door creaked on its hinges as Mary struggled to open the second door. With a huff, she kicked the screen door back and forced the knob, successfully tumbling into her front hall, the doors crashing behind her. A few peaceful seconds ticked by before yowling and howling and squeaking rounded the corner, and Mary was met by her excitable pug Wendy.

"Down! Down, Wendy!" Mary said, kicking off her boots and hanging up her coat.

Wendy wasn't deterred by this rude greeting, stretching her paws up and clawing at Mary's khaki pants.

"Hello!" Her mother's voice called from the kitchen.

Mary shrugged off her ugly green polo shirt and shook out her long hair. "Hi!"

"Hello," her Nana smiled as Mary dodged Wendy to get to the kitchen where her grandmother sat. "How was your day?"

"Eh," Mary answered with a shrug. She blew the bangs from her eyes. "Is Evie here yet?"

"No, should we be looking out for her?" Mary's mother stirred some browning meat on the stove. "I didn't know she was coming."

"Whoops," Mary said. "Well, I invited her over about a half hour ago, so… she should be here within the hour."

Mary's mother smiled, rolling her eyes. "Well, we're having tacos tonight!"

"Super!" Mary shouted back, already pounding up the stairs to her room.

She opened the only closed door in the hall, taking a moment to look down across where her sister's empty room was. She shut the door behind her, already changing clothes where she was standing. Pulling on blue plaid pajama bottoms, Mary straightened her white undershirt and decided on a quick snack. Her chocolate stash was looking low, but she had some cherry cordials left – her favorite.

Mary nearly tripped over a plastic bag sitting by her dresser. A cordial still sticking out of her mouth, Mary looked curiously down at it. Kneeling, she opened the bag and found different Christmas ornaments and decorations found on their tree.

"Nana…" Mary rolled her eyes. Her Nana was becoming more forgetful with every passing day. The family would find all sorts of different things in strange places, from M&M's in the vacuum closet to sandwiches in coat pockets. It was an everyday occurrence, some days more fun than others.

Picking up the bag, Mary exited her room and went straight across the hall to her Nana's. It was a master bedroom with a very large window over-looking the roof of their porch and the rest of their backyard. It was a nice view, especially for sunsets, and Mary would often crawl out through the window to sit on the roof and watch the sky turn to night.

Mary wasn't sure where to put her grandmother's bag of knickknacks and decided on the bed where her Nana would be sure to see it. She popped another cherry cordial in her mouth that was slightly melted from the warmth of her hand. Suddenly curious, Mary turned to her Nana's long-forgotten vanity.

The mirror was huge, reflecting the entirety of Mary and the room behind her in excess. The blonde hair that reached down the middle of her back was looking particularly frayed from the wind outside and the polo shirt going over her head. Ignoring this, Mary turned her attention to a drawer that was slightly ajar. No one used the vanity anymore, not even her Nana. The top was dusted over with disuse, and most of the drawers were stuck closed from the wood bowing. _So why would one of them be left open?_

Kneeling, Mary swallowed her chocolate and wiped her sugar-coated hands on her pants. She tested the handle first, noting it was very loosely connected and not much use anymore. She carefully inched her fingers in the small crack, pulling and tugging to test its strength. The drawer seemed pretty sturdy. Setting her jaw, Mary grabbed the top of the drawer with both hands. She gave it a firm yank and it jerked open, sending Mary back on her butt.

_What in the world…?_ Mary held the long bangs out of her face as she righted herself, peering into the dark drawer's contents.

A single, thick red binder was next to some sort of… hair dryer? Pistol? Garden hose. Yes, it definitely looked like the nozzle of a garden hose.

Wrinkling her nose in confusion, Mary picked up the nozzle first. It was solid, cool metal. The green tint was covered in dust. The front end looked like a flashlight of some sort, and much like a pistol, had a red trigger button. There was a back panel full of buttons with different kinds of numbers and commands like a remote control. Faded gold print on the side read _Zenith _and underneath: _Flash-Matic_.

Mary ignored the binder, thinking it was nothing at the moment. She replaced the hose nozzle in the drawer and did her best to shut it, but it stuck worse and refused to close more than halfway. Grumbling, Mary stood and hurried to her computer to look up what on Earth the Zenith company was.

Not long after Mary opened up her laptop, Wendy started furiously barking again. Crawling across her bed, Mary peered out the window and saw headlights in the growing darkness. "Evie!"

Mary excitedly ran down the stairs, acting much like her screaming dog. She ran through the living room and to the door, pushing Wendy out of the way to open it. Wendy pushed herself by and propped her stubby legs up on the bottom glass of the screen door to see out. She squeaked and her curly tail spun when she saw who it was, a regular to the Porter home.

"Hey, Evie!" Mary called, opening the door. Wendy raced out into the cold, greeting her friend much like she was a member of the family.

Evie struggled to carry her pack, sleeping bag, and pillow as she fought off Wendy and tried to close her car door at the same time. When she got close enough, she breathed out a tired: "Hi!"

Mary took the sleeping bag from her with a bit of a fight on Evie's part, letting her into the house. Wendy scurried inside first, her brown fur clinging to Evie's pants already. "Dinner should be ready – you hungry?"

"Sure!" Evie nodded, dumping her stuff to take off her sneakers.

"Hi, Evie!" Mary's mother called.

"Hi!" Evie said again.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Mary urged. "I'm starving!"

"I'm coming, jeez!" Evie whined.

The mysterious Flashmatic went forgotten until later that night after food and reunions. Since Evie was home for her winter break from college, they would finally get to catch up and hang out like they did all summer. Mary should have been in school, too, the same year as Evie, but she had dropped out due to a mixture of financial incapability and general hatred of the school system. Also, a good dose of immaturity and a strong will to break from the norm.

Mary sat on her bed, a red lollipop in her mouth. Melvin, her pink stuffed monkey, was in her arms as she snuggled cross-legged in her blankets.

"So which one are we doing this time?" Evie asked, indicating the DVD menu lighting up the small television found in Mary's room.

"_Fruits Basket!"_ Mary exclaimed. "It's a lot like that other show I made you watch, but it actually has a plot. Well… a better plot, anyways. I just like the characters from _Ouran_ so much, I had to show you that one first. Besides, I just got _Fruits Basket_, so… party time!"

Evie curiously picked up the brand new box set and looked over the cover art.

Mary was still prattling on about the next ten-plus hour marathon they were about to push through. "You're totally going to love Tohru. She's such a great person; I want to try to be more like her. Even though that sounds pretty silly…"

"Nah…" Evie shook her head, snuggling with her orange stuffed cat. She was feeling really warm, but she didn't want to take her socks off. Evie almost never took her socks off.

"Oh! And you can't like the character I don't like – I don't know how I'll be able to talk to you," Mary warned, though it sounded dreadfully serious. "He just… no! He makes me so mad compared to – ah! Not telling you! You have to find out."

"Okay… let's start!" Evie cheered, flopping onto her sleeping bag. Her brown hair frizzed in her face, so she shook it out like a dog to right the problem, only tangling the mess further.

Mary laughed at her friend, opening up her laptop to quickly check her e-mails before they started the emotional roller coaster of a new show. But when her laptop opened, Google was already up with the letter 'Z' plugged into the search box.

"What's the matter?" Evie asked, seeing Mary's face screwed up in bewilderment.

"I was looking something up before, but I can't remember what it was… Doesn't that drive you crazy?" Mary mumbled, resting her chin in her palm as she put the lollipop back in her mouth.

"When I was at school this one time, I was doing the same thing when my roommate Casey interrupted me, and I couldn't remember," Evie nodded. "I still can't! And now I'm reminded how angry I am about it!"

Mary's eyes lit up, looking over at her bedroom door. The lollipop flew out of her mouth in a flash, raised victoriously over her head. "Aha! I remember!"

"Lucky you," Evie said, watching as Mary ran like a maniac out of her room. She waited a few seconds in silence before wandering up with her cat tucked close. Looking through the dark hallway, she could make out the vague figure of her friend in a room she had never entered before. "Maaary?"

"Evie, come look at this," Mary commanded in the dark. She was kneeling in the thick white shag carpet in front of some sort of dresser.

Evie carefully made her way through the room in the dark, not knowing where a light was if there was one. She stood over her friend and looked down at the open drawer. "I can't see a thing."

Mary rolled her eyes, standing up and nearly cracking her friend in the jaw with her skull. She tapped a light switch which illuminated the lights surrounding the vanity mirror. The glow wasn't much help, but it was better than nothing.

Trying again, Evie looked back at the drawer. A wrinkle formed on her brow as she stared at the strange-looking hair dryer. "What is it?"

"I don't know – what do you think it is?" Mary asked, picking it up and handing the Flashmatic over to her. "I was going to Google it, but I forgot."

"Kind of looks like a hair dryer," Evie said, inspecting the device. She noted the front end. "But this kind of looks like a flash light, doesn't it? It's probably a flash light. What's the book?"

Mary had forgotten about the binder. Picking it up, it was formidably heavy. She opened the top, the plastic crackling. "It's just a paper with a bunch of numbers on it."

"Numbers?" Evie asked curiously. She knelt down by Mary, suddenly engulfed in what looked to be a puzzle of some kind. And if there was one thing Evie was very good at, it was solving puzzles.

"There are dozens of them," Mary flipped through the yellow pages with little to no interest. Numbers were not her thing. What sparked her interest though were the titles of these pages. "_Casablanca? Top Hat? Rear Window? All in the Family?_ These are all movie titles! And TV shows… what is this?!"

Evie shrugged, making a sound like she didn't know. She spotted a page left underneath the book. It was on white notebook paper, and compared to the others, it looked impossibly new. "Hey, you forgot one."

Mary watched as Evie picked up the paper, reading over the numbers on it. It didn't have a title. Mary inspected the writing in the binder a bit closer, realizing that the numbers seemed to be some sort of strange type face, while the titles at the tops were distinctly in her Nana's hand-writing. Mary picked up the Flashmatic, noting the name before setting it back down.

"I'll go Google it!" Mary declared. She jumped up and ran back to her room for the laptop.

Evie picked up the Flashmatic, still absorbed in the loose leaf paper of codes. _Codes!_ They were sequenced together. Eyeing the Flashmatic, she found the button panel on the back. Accidentally pulling the trigger, a flash of light hit the vanity chair for a split second.

Evie jumped back in surprise. Mostly surprised that the flashbulb inside still seemed to work despite its obvious age. "It still works!"

"What's the name on it, again?" Mary called back.

"Zenith!" Evie shouted. She read further. "Flashmatic?"

"Thanks!" Mary echoed.

Evie studied the paper, looking back at the Flashmatic in her other hand. The first code string was 95320. She punched the numbers in and intuition told her to pull the trigger.

The Flashmatic sprung to life as expected, a bright light hitting the wall next to the vanity. But when the trigger was released, the light didn't disappear. Evie blinked in shock, unsure of what to do. _Had she broken it? Already?!_

Standing, Evie circled the Flashmatic. She was so surprised that she had dropped it in her haste. Looking back and forth between them, the wall was still lit up, but the bulb of the Flashmatic was dark.

"Where's the light coming from?" Evie wondered aloud. She waved her hand in front of the Flashmatic to test it. Nothing happened. Was she just seeing things?

Evie wandered up to the light still on the wall, a large oval like that of a flashlight beamed at the wall. It was rather glaringly blinding in the dim room. But she had seen herself that the Flashmatic wasn't on anymore. Evie put her hand over the space of the wall, wondering if she had accidentally blinded herself with the stupid flashbulb and this was all in her head. But when she placed her hand on the light, a strange force tickled through her arm.

Before she was sucked in completely.

Evie didn't have time to let out a shriek of surprise before her entire body was pulled into the light. The oval closed behind her like a blinking door, going out like a candle. A light trail of smoke exited the wall where Evie and the door had been moments before, but it too faded fast.

"It's just a remote!" Mary announced, cheerily re-entering the room. "All that fuss over a silly TV remote made in the 50s for those ancient… Evie?"


	3. Plot Wrecker

Yay, we're finally here! Thanks for reading, everybody!

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><p><strong>Plot Wrecker<strong>

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><p>"<em>Aaaaahhh!<em>" Evie's scream finally released as cool wind blew past her face. Bright white light blinded her, so she shielded her eyes with an elbow as she stumbled onto new floor. Her feet touched smooth, icy tile. Blinking in confusion, Evie peeked up from her arm.

Beautiful, crystal clear blue sky was the first thing she saw through spotless windows - stretching up to an impossibly high ceiling. In fact, the color of blue seemed impossible. Evie had never seen a more perfect sky. Like it had been drawn or painted in.

Quickly turning around, Evie found herself facing an ornate wall. Strangely enough, the semblance of a dark oval was rapidly shrinking in on itself. Evie grabbed for it, but it closed as her hand made contact, a light trail of smoke slipping between her fingers.

_Well… this is new._

Evie turned around again, looking up and down the long, empty hallway. It seemed like she was in some sort of palace or ritzy hotel. Looking down at her pink pajama bottoms and baggy white T-shirt, she certainly wasn't dressed for a place as fancy as this. At least she wasn't barefoot – she still had her socks. And her orange stuffed cat clenched tightly in her fist.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Evie continued to peer around at her environment. She pulled an elastic band from around her wrist and gathered her hair. _Did she hit her head on the vanity? Was this all a dream?_ The elastic snapped her locks into a tight, controlled ponytail high on her head. Her hair was still long enough for the tail to swish her shoulders.

The distinct sound of laughter caught her ear, and she panicked. _Look how she was dressed! She'd be so embarrassed!_

Evie looked left and right, squeaking in fright. "This is just like that dream when I went to biology in my underwear!" Because Evie was one of those lucky people to dream like that.

She chose right, hugging her cat, and dashing as fast as she could. The laughter grew into obvious male chatter. _Great! They better not see me, or I'll never live this down!_

The long hallway turned right suddenly, so Evie took the opportunity and dived. The boys rounded the corner, not noticing her as they approached. Evie hid behind a baroque pillar, closing her eyes to make herself feel more invisible.

"No, but that Greek test was insane," one of them complained. "And I studied all night!"

"Your father's not going to like hearing about that," the other commented as they crossed her side hall.

"I know…" the first sighed in defeat. "But maybe if I can ace all of my other classes, he won't be so mad."

"As the future head of an electronics company, I don't see why you'd need Greek anyways," his friend supported him.

The boys casually passed by without noticing her. Evie let out a sigh of relief and stood out in the open once again. Their jargon made even less sense to her than the high-vaulted ceilings. _Greek tests? Electronics company? Where was she?!_

"First, clothes," Evie decided. Then she'd have a look around. If she was dreaming, it was really rather lucid and realistic. That was different, but not altogether unwelcome. _Maybe she could do anything… like fly!_

Evie walked carelessly back into the long hallway, mulling over the possibilities of God-like control of the world when she walked straight into another person.

"Sorry, I didn't see you coming—"

"Ah, sorry! My fault, sorry!" Evie repeated, stooping to pick up the fallen notebook. The pages were bent awkwardly from the collision. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt this – I have another notebook at home you can have!"

"Hey, calm down. It's just a notebook," the stranger said.

Evie stood back up, batting bewildered blue eyes at chocolate brown ones. _Oh, no… it was one of those she-males. She's going to say something totally awkward and inappropriate and offend them! Why couldn't they get a more gender identifiable outfit? Not even a haircut?!_

The stranger adjusted the bulky glasses gone askew on their nose, watching Evie chew her lip in worry. "Um… you okay? …Why are you in your pajamas?"

Evie's eyes bugged, quickly hiding her stuffed cat behind her back. "What?!"

"It's not exactly dress code," they pondered, wondering about their own frumpy dark sweater. "Though, I guess I'm not with the dress code either!"

"Erm, uh…" Evie quickly came up with an excuse, avoiding the shorter person's gaze. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you…"

"Fair enough," she laughed, suddenly more girlish. She put a hand in her short, messy brown hair at the back of her head. "I'm Haruhi Fujioka. You're gonna be surprised, but I think you're the most normal person I've met here so far."

"Haruhi…?" Evie wondered, surprised she hadn't recognized her before. _But… how could it be?! There's no way…! It can't be _that_ Haruhi… From that show Mary made her watch?!_ "Uh… Uh… Um, I'm…"

"Hey, are you okay?" Haruhi asked, lending a steady arm to the stumbling Evie.

Evie jumped at her touch, more shocked it didn't go through her like a ghost of her subconscious. No, it was real. All too terrifyingly _real_.

"I'm fine!" Evie chirped, finding herself hugging her cat protectively. She gave Haruhi a once over again, still in disbelief. "I've um… heard about you! The new transfer student, right?"

Haruhi seemed surprised. "Really? I didn't know it was a topic…"

"Well… it is!" Evie stated awkwardly. She felt sick to her stomach. She quickly sidestepped the girl, saluting her and heading further on down the windowed hall. "It's been nice meeting you!"

"Er, right…" Haruhi nodded. _Guess the girl was stranger than she first guessed._ With a shrug, Haruhi padded on down the carpeted hall that Evie had come from, not realizing her quest for a quiet room to study had been radically changed.


	4. After Evie

Thanks for the review – that was super sweet! An extra thanks to the new favorites, follows, and readers. :D

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><p><strong>After Evie<strong>

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><p>Mary paused, silently surveying the dim room. She strode to the desk in the far corner, struggling to turn the knob of the lamp. It switched on and bathed the room in yellow light. Turning around, Mary checked over the room again.<p>

Closets. Bed. Vanity. No Evie.

Perplexed, Mary went to the hall bathroom, finding the door open. _Maybe she got a snack?_

"Hey, Evie!" Mary called, hopping down the steps two at a time. She swung around the corner and skidded to a halt in her empty kitchen. "Evie?"

Now even more confused, Mary trudged back up the stairs. She peered into her open bedroom, noting the orange glare of the paint and 70s shag carpeting. Mary went to the window and squinted out into the night. _Well, Evie's car was still there… but where was she?!_

Right when Mary was about to visit her parents to see if Evie was there, she tripped over one of the many DVD cases cluttering the floor around her television. She was about to kick it aside when she noticed the cover. It was her box set of Ouran.

Mary studied the shiny pink silhouettes decaled on the front of the box. One silhouette towards the center particularly caught her interest. _That's funny. Haruhi never had a ponytail…_

The disappearance of her friend was put to the back of the mind in favor of this new mini mystery. Mary flipped the box around and read the usual story summary. "Blah, blah, blah, handsome boys in the Host Club, blah, blah, blah, ritzy Ouran, blah, blah, blah, fantasies come true…"

Mary read on until the second paragraph. "Oh, and don't forget the newcomer, Evie."

She recoiled in shock, reading it again. "—don't forget the newcomer… _Evie_." It distinctly printed her name. Her friend's name. Not Haruhi's. _Evie_.

Her eyes widened in horror. Quickly examining the girl posed next to the text box holding a bouquet of flowers, Mary was shocked to see her friend as a cartoon smiling back at her. _Evie was part of the box art!_

Mary yelped in surprise, tossing the box to the floor and scooting away. Suddenly wild with panic, Mary rushed back into her Nana's room where she last saw her best friend.

"Evie!" Mary shouted more urgently, not finding her friend where she hoped she would. She began to pace. _Was she going crazy?! Maybe it was some sort of elaborate prank… But Evie wasn't diabolical enough for something so complicated!_

Her foot kicked a hard metal object. First damning her toe, Mary found the Flashmatic in the shag carpet. She picked it up, turning it over in her hands.

Shaking her head, Mary ran back down the stairs with the Flashmatic in hand. "Evie! Hey, Evie!"

"Why are you shouting, dear?" Mary's Nana complained, sitting in her recliner in the living area. The television was on with Jay Leno.

"Have you seen Evie?" Mary asked breathlessly, panic seeping into her voice.

Her grandmother's eyes locked onto the object still in her fist. "Where did you get that…?"

Mary pushed the bangs from her face in exhaustion, the hand with the Flashmatic coming to rest sassily on her hip. "I keep calling, but I think she must've ran off somewhere, or this is some really strange practical—"

"_That!_ Where did you find that?" Her Nana demanded, rising out of her seat at an alarming rate.

Mary quieted as fear marred her expression. She had never seen her grandmother act in such a way. Eleanor Sherwood was a meek, gentle creature – a typical grandmother except her cooking skills were terrible. Mary couldn't think of a time when her Nana had yelled at her in such a way. Or strangely reminded her of Gollum.

She looked at the Flashmatic, bringing it up before her grandmother, her head bent low in embarrassment. "I was in your room giving back some of your stuff that I found lying around when I noticed your vanity drawer open…"

"Mary!" She scolded. But it didn't sound so much as a reprimand as concern. "Did you use it? Hit any of the numbers on the back?"

"No," Mary shook her head. She amended her statement, twiddling her fingers. "Well, I pulled the trigger a couple times. It just looked like a flashlight."

"Where's Evie?" Her Nana asked, hurrying up the stairs.

Mary followed close behind the elderly woman. She expected to take the stairs slow, but she found herself jogging to keep up with her. "I asked _you!_ I can't find her anywhere!"

"This is bad… dreadfully, terribly bad…" her Nana mumbled, shaking her head. "Where was she last?"

"In there. Over by the vanity," Mary pointed to her grandmother's room.

Her Nana let out another groan of despair and quickly inspected the room. She gasped when she picked up the book of her old memoirs. "Did you use any of these on the Flashmatic?"

"Nana, what's going on?" Mary asked, feeling a horrible pit forming in her stomach. She lifted the white notebook paper with the unmarked numbers, looking over the series. "You're not telling me something. It's painfully obvious. Just spill. What the heck is that thing?"

Though her grandmother didn't take kindly to her use of the word 'heck,' she sighed and held her book tight. She lifted the Flashmatic to attention, beaming it around the walls with one eye closed like a renegade. "This… is something I'm much too old for."

Mary was about to protest when her grandmother looked into her eyes, letting the remote control fall into her waiting hands – hands that Mary didn't even realize she was offering until the cold metal touched her fingers.

"But you…" her Nana's blue eyes twinkled as she smiled sadly. "Might be able to right this."

Mary looked at the Flashmatic and frowned. "So… what is it?"

"When I was young, I came across this remote control. Back when it was new – don't tell me how long ago that was; I'm well aware," she warned, holding up a hand. "It was with a lone sheet of paper. Strings and strings of numbers. A code, of sorts."

Mary had a feeling this was going to be a longer monologue than she originally expected. She shifted her weight to her other hip, studying the Flashmatic as her Nana's story unfolded.

"I found that most models of the Zenith Flashmatic didn't have button panels. In fact, I am positive that this is the only one. I have never encountered another," her eyes grew misty in memory. "This device was able to transport me to any universe I chose, fictional or otherwise – all at the input of a few identifying numbers."

Mary's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me, right?"

She ignored her granddaughter's sarcastic tone. "I found I could do anything I pleased in these worlds. Treat them like any film I could watch with a player at home. The more I travelled, the more pages I would find. They seemed to gravitate to the Flashmatic. Like it was begging me for adventure.

"But I soon found out it wasn't so easy. The stories became marred with my presence. Sometimes they would change their course or stop altogether. But every time, without fail, I had changed the world I entered. Sometimes it was for the better… I even realized that I was needed, in due time."

"Nana, what on Earth does any of this have to do with anything?!" Mary asked, shaking her head. "You can't expect me to believe that you used to be a dimension hopper because some remote control from the 50s could magically transport you through time and space and change…"

Her Nana waited, a knowing look coming upon her face as she studied Mary.

_The box art! Evie! It wasn't a lie… Evie was in Ouran! Changing the story!_

"So," her Nana stated. "You know where she is."

Mary felt sick, clutching the Flashmatic tighter. "But… Nana, what do I do? This is crazy!"

"There are crazier things, I'm sure," she brushed this doubt aside, guiding Mary to an empty spot in the room. "I see you have your codes? You have to input the first set – that should get you to the beginning. Well, usually. You never really know with these things. Whatever you do – don't lose that paper or the Flashmatic. Find your friend and get out. You need to get yourselves out of the timeline and mend the story."

"Or…?" Mary dared to ask. Her sarcasm was quickly coming back as the idea that magic could be real and manifest itself in remotes settled in the back of her mind.

"Or you can't come back," she said.

Mary shrank a bit. She was getting that sick feeling again.

Her Nana aimed the Flashmatic at the floor in front of Mary. Mary could hardly believe what she was doing as her fingers found the 9, the 5, the 3, the 2—

"I-I can't!" She whimpered. Her Nana kept her hand steady at the floor.

"Of course you can!" Her grandmother scolded. Even though she was much shorter and older, she had a vice-like grip. "I'd been doing this for years, and I'm still around! Just make sure the story ends how it's supposed to."

"But—!" Mary squeaked.

Too late. Her Nana had pushed the last number: 0 and pulled the trigger for her. Mary gasped as a white circle of light parted the carpet in a milky mirage. She squinted at the scene below her, trying to make out the blurry details.

Mary barely had time to remember she should probably change into more suitable clothes when she felt herself reeling over the side. Despite her efforts to regain her balance with ridiculous arm flails, Mary wound up falling face first into the hot light, shrilly screaming all the way.

"And have some fun!" Her Nana's voice echoed down to her, already feeling far away.

Cold air rushed past her face in a free fall. She couldn't see. There was a light tingling sensation like all of her limbs fell asleep. But everything came rushing back so quickly, Mary barely opened her eyes in time to see solid concrete in front of her nose.

"URK!" Mary braced herself for impact, but the fall was inevitable. She roughly landed on her stomach, her hair splayed around her in a mass.

Coughing and spitting out blonde strands, Mary pushed herself up and looked back at the sky. The oval of light was shrinking just a few feet above her head – the fall that felt like stories. There was only darkness in it, but she could have sworn she saw a hand waving in the dim background before it disappeared completely.

Mary pulled herself to her feet. She inspected herself and dusted off the gravel and dirt swept onto the sun-beaten sidewalk she was standing on. Her cold, bare feet welcomed the warmth, but the sharp rocks were another story.

Finding out too late, Mary found the Flashmatic still in her hand – her knuckles white from holding onto it – but the notebook paper missing. Frantically searching around her, she found the page fluttering into the middle of a white, neatly kept gravel drive.

The girl made a dive for it, snatching it out of the wind's clutches. She straightened herself in victory, finally about to take in her surroundings.

_EEEEEEPPPP_ The roar of a car horn made Mary jump out of her skin. She whirled out of the way just in time before a limousine went careening through the tall open gates.

"Asshole!" Mary cried after the oblivious driver, even though the fault was hers. The coast clear, Mary re-entered the drive and peered after the expensive car.

It felt like a rock wedged into her throat. Great, tall buildings with spires and massive windows and courtyards and fountains and trees stretched out for what felt like miles before her. A few birds lighted from the cherry trees, rising into the perfect, crystal blue sky. An enormous clock tower chimed the hour.

In spite of herself, she couldn't help but remember the famous monologue and string music that played at the beginning of one of her favorite cartoons – now brought to life before her very eyes. _A playground for the super rich and beautiful…_

"Oh, dear… Ouran Academy, eh? Evie, you better be in here…" Mary hugged her bare shoulders and began the lengthy trek up the drive. "What the hell did I smoke today…?"


	5. Music Room 3

Another review?! Thanks so much switchpersonalities! This chapter is for you~ And also my annoying friend who keeps bugging me to update. I guess you can thank, Evie, too for this chapter. xD And honestly, it's the one you've all been waiting for. :3

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><p><strong>Music Room #3<strong>

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><p>Evie meandered down the halls, staring wide-eyed at the ceilings unfolding before her. She passed closed doors, wondering what monsters could be behind their regal surfaces. Monsters of a cartoon world Evie knew for a fact <em>was not real!<em>

"Oh…" Evie moaned, clutching her cat even tighter. If she dared squish the poor orange plush harder, the seams connecting its head might threaten to tear. "This is so wrong… I shouldn't be here…! How do I wake up…?!"

Though she tried pinching herself and running into walls, Evie found only pain in these trials and abandoned these methods to stop her dreaming. All she could do was let her feet carry her through the echoing hallways, trying to sort out the world around her. And the person she had met.

_Haruhi… Fujioka… Good Lord, does that mean the others are…?_

Evie turned a corner, her only path, and looked at the many ornate doors before her. Everything had an obnoxious pink glow she wasn't altogether too fond of. She enjoyed the fresh flowers everywhere though. _Those were nice._

To her convenience, if she was in a fictional world, she was luckily in an English-speaking one. And the first sign hanging above the door had white lettering on a clean black background. Evie blinked. "Music Room number… three."

_It's here. It's right here! Right in front of her! Would they really be in there? Did they all exist?!_

But Evie couldn't forget herself. She stopped her hand before it touched the handle, biting her lip. _Haruhi isn't in the host club yet… Maybe that's happening right now!_

Finally making up her mind, Evie firmly twisted the handle and drew the door in. Though she was excited in expectation of one of her favorite scenes, the room before her proved quite different.

The first person she saw was a dark-haired boy with glasses, busily clicking away at the keyboard of the laptop in front of him. He was wearing the familiar blue boys' uniform, making Evie hold her breath as she quickly surveyed the others in the room. The tallest in the room had a shock of black hair and a tray of desserts in his hands. He set the sweets in front of his miniature friend who was happily eating the cakes like no tomorrow, merrily swinging his legs back and forth. The twins were sharing a sofa, one staring down at a handheld game and the other lying across his lap, tossing a hacky sack in the air and catching it over and over again. And the famous blond boy was standing behind the table where Kyoya sat, his hands on his hips. He looked up in innocent surprise, eyes locking with Evie.

"You were saying?" Kyoya prompted, turning to him. Following his gaze, he quieted when he spotted Evie in the open doorway, shaking in her socks.

The silence of their king prompted all of the boys to stop what they were doing and look towards the door and the strange girl standing there in her pajama pants.

"Gentlemen," Tamaki's winning smile suddenly graced his face as he fell into character. "It appears we have an early guest."

Evie squeaked, holding up her cat to shield herself from their eyes. _Oh, God, they were real! Too real! In fact, they looked exactly like they did in the cartoon – but they were all staring at her! Their piercing eyes BURN!_

"Sorry, boss, we don't work before hours," one of the sassy orange-haired twins shrugged, going back to his game. Evie assumed he was Hikaru if she remembered his voice correctly.

"Yeah," the one who must be Kaoru slung his arms over the back of the sofa to appraise her. He cocked an eyebrow. "Who is this anyway?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose with his middle finger, studying Evie. The light shifted on the glass, allowing her to see his eyes peering at her underneath. "You know, I'm not familiar with this particular student."

"Maybe she's a first year!" Honey's cheery voice suggested.

"Pajamas," Mori stated, the only one to make this observation.

"No matter!" Tamaki magically appeared beside her, making her jump. He placed a firm, comforting hand on her shoulder. "As the Ouran Host Club, it is our job to make every girl happy! So, my dear, how may we help you?"

Evie turned red at his proximity, quickly wriggling out of his grasp. The action made the confused and blank expression return to Tamaki's face. "Um! Um! Um!"

"Hey~!" Honey whirled her around, grabbing onto one of her arms like a vine. Evie staggered as she turned to face him, having to bend nearly in half in order to do so. "What a cute cat! She reminds me of Usa-chan! Do you want to see Usa-chan~?"

"Uh, erm, sure," Evie managed, watching as what looked like a nine year old skipped back to her cradling a pink rabbit in his arms.

"Usa-chan, say hi to… oh," Honey blinked a few times. "I don't know your name."

"Well, I was going to name him Kyo, but I don't know what's real anymore. So let's stick with Fluffy," Evie said, holding her cat forward.

"I meant you, silly!" Honey laughed.

It was Evie's turn to blink. She let out a nervous chuckle, unsure if she should lie or not. Her mouth made the decision for her. "Evie!"

"That's such a cute name!" Honey said, squeezing his bunny rabbit. "You should come and have cake with us!"

"Maybe some other time—oof!" Evie spun on her heel and went face first into someone else. She jumped back from Mori's chest as he looked down at her curiously.

"Leaving so soon, my lady?" Tamaki interjected, taking up her hand in his own with a bow. He didn't realize how creepy his question would sound to anyone of sane mind. "Normally, our guests enjoy a spot of tea before—"

"I know what you're all about!" Evie stated, releasing her hand from his grasp. Everyone stared at her in confusion as she backed away. "J-Just let me… get this straight… You're all… _here_… and so am _I_…! Oh, dear…"

"Hey, watch it!" Kaoru shouted.

Evie twirled and found an elaborate, tall Renaissance vase inches from her nose. Not just any Renaissance vase. _The_ vase. Her face contorted in horror as she drew her cat back to her, her arm having swung around and made the pedestal wobble. Reaching out in what felt like slow motion, Evie grabbed for the tipping handle and—

_CRASH!_

She stared in shock at the pieces scattered across the floor. The porcelain in all too terribly familiar shards on the cold, hard tile of this new reality. _Her_ reality!

"Aw," Hikaru whined. He had set down his video game and was sitting on the back of the couch with his brother mirroring him. "That Renaissance vase was supposed to be featured in the school's upcoming auction!"

"Now we're out eight million yen," Kaoru grumbled, blowing a sad sigh in unison with Hikaru.

"Eight million what?!" Evie shrieked. She cowered towards the door, hoping to get the heck out of there and _get home_.

"Think nothing of it, fair maiden!" Tamaki swept a consoling arm around her shoulders. Looking her straight in the eye with sincerity that made her blanch, he said: "The vase in its entirety couldn't compare to the delicate flower that is your beauty~"

Kyoya had walked across the room and picked up one of the stray shards. He inspected the piece and crossed his arms. "Still, Tamaki, I don't think this is a debt to be ignored…"

"Just have your parents reimburse us," Hikaru waved her off with indifference.

"You can afford it, right, Evie-chan~?" Honey asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Uh…" Evie gulped. "What's a yen…?"

"Uh-oh," the twins turned to each other, holding up questioning hands. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"We're going to have a little fun," Tamaki announced. The twins' eyes gleamed at the opportunity while everyone else waited for further explanation. Tamaki held his own chin thoughtfully before pointing at Evie with finality. "Miss Evie is going to work off her debt, and as Hosts, we're going to make sure she finds happiness!"

"She never said she was unhappy," Kyoya reminded from the corner, killing the triumphant atmosphere. In fact, Evie could have sworn that such victoriously thrilling music had just been playing or her ears were messing with her. "And I doubt anything you could do could make her so."

"Why do you have to shoot me down…?" Tamaki pleaded, head hung low.

"I have to… work it off?" Evie asked nervously. "I-I can't be a Host! I'm a girl!"

"That you are!" Tamaki smiled, suddenly perking up again considerably. "And you don't seem to be a very fulfilled girl at that! It is now our mission as the Host Club to make Evie happy!"

"While she pays off her debt," Kyoya interjected.

"While she pays off her debt!" Tamaki repeated, once again pointing at her with confidence.

Evie stared at the finger, feeling like she might faint. _Mary would _never_ believe this…_


	6. Attack on the Host Club

Wow, you guys are so sweet! Thanks Hello-Nanabanana for the review! All of your questions will be revealed in due time. :)

This chapter is bound to be a bit longer than the last. Sorry the chapters with Evie are shorter, but I'm still getting a hand on her character, and it needs some experimentation. But not to worry – chapters from here on out are about to get pretty lengthy now that we've got our setup. Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>Attack on the Host Club<strong>

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><p>Mary had found what she <em>thought<em> was the high school. The whole conglomeration of buildings was Ouran Academy, but it was practically impossible to know where to go. Especially since she couldn't just walk up to someone and ask for directions because not only was she an intruder in their world, she was also wearing unsightly plaid pajama pants. And she knew these monstrously rich kids wouldn't let her hear the end of it.

Her bare feet resting in the cool grass, Mary peered up at the tall stone wall. She had made her rounds and decided that this was her best shot at getting inside since she couldn't very well use the front door. It was the only open window she had come across. But it was just out of her reach.

_Come on, Mary. Evie's probably hopelessly lost, ruining the story beyond repair while you loiter under this sill. Now… jump!_

Her pep talk did the trick. Taking it at a run, Mary flung herself at the window sill, grabbing onto it with both hands. Using her feet to kick off the wall, Mary struggled and pulled herself up to her elbows. Once she stretched one of her feet up to the sill, it was smoother sailing. Mary lifted the last of herself and tumbled onto the hard tile inside.

"Ow…" Mary grumbled, rubbing her sore bottom. The room she was in was rather dark, and it didn't seem to be a student section. Desks and chairs piled on each other in excess, and a broom and mop were in the corner. A storage closet?

Mary groped around in the dim room, the only light coming from the sun outside the window she had entered. Dust came up in clouds on whatever she touched, but she finally found a door.

She stopped, staring at a large mirror propped against the wall by the door. It had a beautifully gilded frame, set with intricacies Mary couldn't imagine trying to design. But her reflection startled her and sent her heart racing.

Her hair had a simpler cut and rather impossible volume for her flat style. Her eyes were wide and large – a chocolate brown that was accentuated tenfold. She barely had a nose, and her lips were very small since they went unpainted. The freckles on her face were more evenly spaced and less in number. Her clothes were less wrinkled and their colors more well-defined. _She was a cartoon._

Mary had never had a caricature done, and she had certainly never been in a cartoon before. Her appearance was quite a shock to her. Her body didn't _feel_ any different. She didn't feel any less real. _But didn't she look it!_

The girl touched her reflection, barely believing that it was the same hand connecting with her. "Wow…" She clenched her fists, trying to get a feel of this new found power. _The things she could do!_ She could grow and climb and do ridiculous things and not get hurt – then again, cartoons were hurt often but never permanently. "Weird."

Half-wondering if she'd recognize Evie when she saw her, Mary tried to keep the box art in mind and left the storage closet. Before she shut the door, she saw a discarded beige tote with the Ouran logo on it. She quickly snatched it.

The perfectly spotless hall outside was ominously quiet. Mary was quick to close the door behind her and start the search for her friend. She tucked the Flashmatic and the paper of codes in the bag, slinging the strap over her head and around her shoulder. She took a deep breath.

Mary admired the ornate walls as she walked alone in the empty wing of the school. Unbeknownst to her, the wing was not empty but full of students silently testing in every closed door she passed. For a school, it was completely foreign of any kind of school things. There were no fliers for clubs or cheesy posters telling students to work hard. Everything was designed to look like a baroque art studio. High-vaulted ceilings and intricate abrasions. It was clean and lovely, but Mary felt it was lacking in that homey feeling that high schools tended to have.

The quiet broke all at once. One moment she was alone and the next, students were pouring out of their classrooms holding books and chattering and laughing at the end of their school day.

Mary paled and attempted to blend in, her head hung low. She heard giggles swirling around her, but she tried to ignore anyone and everyone. She closed her eyes tight and plowed ahead.

_Think! Evie was on the box. She's in Haruhi's shoes. That means I've got to find Music Room #3!_

Taking another deep breath, Mary approached a trio of girls wearing ridiculously poofed yellow dresses. They had varying hairstyles, but since they weren't main characters, their faces all generally looked the same.

"Ahem," Mary cleared her throat, putting on her brightest smile. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped her bag's strap, relaying her nerves despite her apparent confidence. "Hi! Do you girls know where I can find Music Room 3?"

"Where?" One of the girls wrinkled her nose, staring down at Mary's pants.

Before she could make a rude comment, one of the others chimed in. "Music Room 3? You mean the Host Club?"

"The Host Club!" The girl in the middle gasped. "Oh, I love those guys! Aren't they the dreamiest?!"

"Totally!" The first answered, her attitude suddenly completely turning around. "Mori-senpei is so strong and tall and handsome!"

"Kyoya-senpei's the greatest!" The second argued, holding her blushing face.

"No way – I'd only go to visit the prince!" The first declared. She hung her head and blushed. "He's so poetic and charming~!"

_Great. I found a bunch of vapid first years._ Hearts seemed to be floating above the girls in an accumulating cloud. Mary smiled politely, interrupting them. "Well…! Where can I find them?"

The girls turned on her in an instant. "It's a very exclusive club – not just anyone can walk in!"

"Besides, it's very formal," the original girl wrinkled her nose again at Mary's pajamas.

"Um," a small voice piped up from behind her. Mary turned to see a kind looking girl with matching buns on either side of her head. "I heard you're looking for the Host Club?"

"Yeah," Mary sighed.

"It's in Music Room Number 3, just up a floor and west of here," the girl smiled.

"Thank you!" Mary said, hurrying off as quickly as she could. _Fangirls were scarier than she remembered! And so protective – sheesh._

Mary bounced up the steps two at a time, passing surprised students as they got out of her way. Taking a turn, she hurried down hall after winding hall. The students that had crowded her had now dissipated to a few stragglers here and there. When she came upon the quietest hall, she knew she had found the right place.

She took in the surreal feeling the blackboard sign held hanging over her head. '_Music Room #3 Now in Session'_

_Evie's going to be behind that door. She has to be! And the second I find her, I'm going to get us the hell out of here._

Mary stood firm, staring at the double doors. She could hear the faint clink of china and girlish laughter beyond. Setting her shoulders and swinging her bag out of the way, Mary boldly turned and kicked the doors open with all her might.

_BOOM._

The echo of the doors slamming against the walls caught the attention of most people in the room. The music room was bigger than Mary expected. Her eyes roved over the groups of girls huddled around their respective favorite hosts. Directly across the room from her, Mary recognized a maid outfit that suspiciously looked like the one the twins forced Kasanoda into in a late episode. But a girl with a bouncy brunette ponytail was wearing it instead. Her face was beet red as two ginger boys taunted her and teased her outfit.

Mary's pupils shrunk in realization. "_Evie!_"

The girl looked up in surprise at the call of her name, seeing a cartoon version of her best friend in the open doorway. But before she could say a word, Mary was charging at her full speed. Or rather – someone next to her.

Mary remembered she was a cartoon, which gave her not only confidence, but extra power to her anger. The blonde sprinted across the room, covering the distance in a breath.

"GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU PERVERTS!" Mary screamed, tackling Hikaru first. She leapt upon his shoulders, making him stagger, but he surprisingly kept his balance. She pounded her fists down onto his head like she was hammering in a nail.

"Get this thing off of me!" Hikaru cried to his brother, wincing as he tried to pry Mary off.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru gasped in concern. The fangirls around the room were bubbling in excitement at this real danger and the real brotherly love and protection happening before their hungry eyes. Kaoru tried to grab one of Mary's fists, but she reacted quicker – clamping down his hand with her teeth.

"Mary…?" Evie was staring in shock, pulling the maid's skirt down further.

"Ow! She bit me!" Kaoru whined.

"How dare you touch Evie and put her in demeaning, sexualized outfits!" Mary ranted, continuously pounding the poor twin's head.

"Somebody help me!" Hikaru plead, cowering to the floor and holding his head against her attack.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms grabbed Mary from all around, lifting her off of Hikaru. Restrained, Mary struggled and looked down. She was impossibly high off of the ground, meaning only Mori could be holding her.

"What's the meaning of this?" A blonde boy came upon the scene with wide eyes. Mary blanched, realizing she was coming face to face with one of her favorite cartoon characters of all time – with a very bad impression of herself.

Mary kicked once again, but she realized she couldn't do much held against Mori. Her face darkened as she looked down past Mori's arms hugging her around the middle and keeping her arms at her sides. She found Evie wide-eyed staring back up at her. She looked impossibly innocent – her eyes huge and cutesy. Mary had nearly forgotten that cartoon's personalities were often disclosed in the shape of their eyes. It was appropriate then that her own eyes were slanted mischievously like the twins, and Evie's were as childish and large as Honey's.

"What are you doing here?!" Mary demanded of Evie. The Hosts had gathered around them by this time, watching the exchange between the friends.

"I don't know!" Evie wailed, again trying to pull the ridiculously short skirt lower. "But I owe them a vase!"

"YOU DIDN'T," Mary's jaw dropped.

"It was an accident!" Evie cried. Still, she was glad she wasn't alone anymore... Even if Mary was acting like a wolverine.


	7. Caged

Wow, I got three reviews last chapter! Thank you so much to the Guest, switchpersonalities, and Hello-Nanabanana! Since the last chapter was delayed because of my internet issues, and I'm just so grateful for your reviews, I decided to double update! Cool, two chapters, one day!

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy reading!

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><p><strong>Caged<strong>

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><p>"Put her in isolation!"<p>

Before either Evie or Mary knew what was happening, the bag was taken from her and Mori freed her. Mary staggered to gain her footing, watching in confusion as the floor was cleared around her and Evie pulled away.

Mary looked up in sudden realization. A powerful motor in the ceiling whirred, and she could hear the clanking of chains. They rattled as an enormous cage enclosure came crashing down around her.

"Eep!" Mary squeaked, holding her arms above her head in an instinctive precautionary measure. She blinked nervously at the huge metal bars surrounding her, finally relaxing her arms. Spotting her beige shoulder bag in Mori's fist, Mary dashed to the bars and reached out for it. "Hey! Give that back!"

"I'm afraid you have some explaining to do first, my dear," a charming voice she'd recognize anywhere bargained. Mary turned her head to see the entire Host Club assembled before her like it was practiced – shortest in front and tallest in back. And there was Evie in the center, fitting the spot Haruhi vacated.

"Mary!" Evie worried, running forward to meet her in front of the bars. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to touch the light or anything, this is all my fault—"

"Sh-sh-sh-sh-shush," Mary waved a hand in front of her face with every enunciation. She clamped her fingers together in the ASL sign for 'shut up.' Though she was by no means fluent, Mary knew a bit about the language and would use it sometimes when she spoke. "Not here. Later."

Evie paled, following Mary's eyes to the bag in Mori's grasp. Orders were being given to close the club activities for the day due to the 'terrorist.' Evie was so scared for her friend, but so happy to see her at the same time that she had nearly blurted the secret of the Flashmatic. _Which must be in that bag!_

Though Mary wasn't good at showing it, she was happy to find Evie safe and sound. Or, at least, as safe as she could be in the world of _Ouran High School Host Club_. "I can't believe you broke their vase…"

"It was just like the show!" Evie whispered fervently, grabbing the bars to drive home her point. "I couldn't stop it from happening—"

"It's okay… we just need to figure a way out of here," Mary mumbled.

"So is this a friend of yours?" Tamaki placed a hand on Evie's head, looking down at them both.

"I can_not_ believe you're a sophomore," Mary gaped up at him. _Yup. Just as handsome as he was on her television. _Though unnervingly closer.

"Yeah! This is Mary," Evie genially introduced. She still tugged down on her skirt every now and again. Evie never – or very rarely – wore skirts and dresses, but with one as short as this, she barely knew what to do with herself. It only covered half her thigh! "Can you let her out? She's harmless, I promise."

"Hardly!" Hikaru rubbed his sore head, glaring hard at the girl in the cage. "I don't know, boss, this girl seems pretty psycho to me."

"Yeah, if we let her out, she'll just maul somebody again!" Kaoru supported his brother, standing by his side.

Honey popped his head up from behind Evie, Usa-chan tight in his arms. "I don't know, guys. She doesn't seem so scary now."

"Honey~!" Mary uncharacteristically greeted the boy, hands covering her mouth to prevent any fangirl-ish squeals. "Oh, you're a hundred percent cuter in person! Aw, isn't that Usa-chan?"

He blinked at her compliment in bewilderment. "How do you know Usa-chan?"

The room became quiet. The Hosts blinked at her with wide eyes. Mary's face fell, and she anxiously bit her lip. The boys gathered to discuss the development across the room, and Evie smacked Mary upside the head through the bars.

"Maybe she's a psychic," Kaoru whispered.

"I've never met one in this part of the world," Tamaki admitted, his hand to his chin.

"Or any!" Hikaru argued.

"Or she has her own bunny named Usa-chan?" Honey suggested.

"It could be a common name," Kyoya put in, not paying much attention as he scanned his notes from the day. "Considering it literally means rabbit."

"Kyoya has a point, right, Takashi?" Honey looked up, still in worry.

"Yeah," Mori nodded.

The Hosts came back to the girls, their worries subsided. Evie was still giving Mary a scolding look for nearly blowing their cover.

"Can I come out now?" Mary asked, exhaustion in her voice and a second away from rolling her eyes.

"First, you must apologize to Hikaru and Kaoru," Tamaki decided, the twins nodding in the background behind him.

"Ugh, I'm sorry, okay?" Mary drawled, full of insincerity. _They should be apologizing for treating Evie like a toy!_

"Like hell you are!" Hikaru grouched, narrowing his amber eyes alongside his more intelligent twin – a fact that Mary was desperately repressing from announcing.

There was one surefire way to get out this cage. And that was to take advantage of Tamaki's soft, extremely gullible heartstrings. After sharing a look with Evie who was on the same track of mind, Mary's lip quivered. She hid her face in her hands as she blubbered. Another talent of Mary's – she could get the water works going on demand.

"I-I said I was sorry!" Mary choked back an overly-dramatic sob. The tears she was forcing started to pool in her eyes, so she childishly rubbed them away with her fists. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I… I just got so caught up seeing Evie being treated in such a way, my heart silenced the protests in my head!"

Tamaki was clutching the bars, tears blinding his vision as he fell for her sob story hook, line, and sinker – quite literally. He was on his knees in despair. He turned to Kyoya pathetically. "Yeah, Kyoya, can't we please let her out…?"

Unbeknownst to anyone else, Mori and Honey were peering with curiosity at the bag they had confiscated.

"Only if she can play nice," Kyoya stated, scribbling away in his notebook. His glasses glinted menacingly as he faced Mary, seeing through her façade with ease. "We can't have any costly harm coming to our hosts. Besides, we don't take too kindly to violent strangers."

Mary's face deadpanned, going back to her sassy self. She crossed her arms. "So what? I sit in here all day?"

Tamaki seemed confused at her ability to right herself so quickly.

"Or as long as it takes to explain yourself," Kyoya countered in affirmation, closing his notebook with a _snap!_

Mary marched to the center of her prison, sitting down cross-legged with a nasty glare. _Seemed they were at a stalemate._

Evie shook her head. She noticed at that moment, Mori and Honey peeking into Mary's bag. With a cry, she sprang for them, snatching it out of their grasp. "I'll hold onto that, thanks!"

With a quick check, Evie found the single piece of notebook paper and the green metal of the Flashmatic in the otherwise empty tote. She sighed in relief, quickly closing it once more. She brushed off the skeptical expressions the pair gave her.

At this point, Mary was testing how easily it was to manipulate Tamaki's emotions. She found it incredibly simple as she rocked side to side, smiling and humming to herself in boredom – and trying to channel her inner Honey and act as cutely as possible.

Tamaki was all but wagging his tail, watching her in amusement. He hopped over to his fellow hosts, getting their attention with a yip. Stars in his eyes, he gestured to Mary who was faking an innocence that reached Evie and Honey's level. Evie was sitting by the bars, a cross look on her face. "Would you look at that, men? That's the face of an innocent little girl! What right have we to keep her locked up like a wild animal? I say we free her at once!"

"She _does_ seem pretty calm now," Honey put in his two cents.

"Yeah," Mori stoically agreed above them all.

"I still vote no," Hikaru said, crossing his arms as he held his grudge. "She's a total psychopath!"

Tamaki gasped as if scandalized. "Apologize at once! That is no way for a gentleman to address a lady!"

Hikaru stuck his nose in the air. "No way, boss, she's not a customer or anything. She's just this colossal bitch with man fists—"

Shocking them all, Evie stomped before them, seemingly growing to ten times her height as her eyes flashed dangerously. "If you don't let her out right this very minute, I'm going to pound each and every one of you twice as hard and give you a real reason to be scared! _Now!_"

For Evie to change so dramatically from the sweet, flustered girl that broke their vase and could easily be teased to the terrifying _beast_ in front of them was enough to convince them unanimously.

"Can't argue with that," the twins shrugged simultaneously, sweat drops over their heads.

Evie noticed the markers and was slightly taken aback before they disappeared. Mary watched as her friend realized the elements of the cartoon world around them, probably wondering what she looked like since Mary looked so different as well.

The cage lifted from Mary's head as she stood, brushing off her pants. She placed a hand on her hip and smirked. "Glad you all came to your senses. Come on, Evie, let's get the heck out of here."

Evie was hesitant to follow, holding the precious bag in both hands. Suddenly back to her usual self, she bit her lip, looking over the hosts.

"I'm afraid that's quite impossible," the unmistakable command of Kyoya Ootori echoed across the room.

Mary turned from the door to find the hosts assembled against her at the far end of the room and a nervous-looking Evie torn halfway between them.

"Miss Evie still owes us eight million yen," Kyoya explained details Mary already knew – though she shouldn't have. "Unless you can provide the full sum, she is indebted to us and has agreed to work off the money she owes. Hence the maid outfit."

Mary set her jaw. She strode quickly up to meet Evie, opening the bag and taking the Flashmatic out. "Well, we'll just see about that."

"Wait, no!" Evie protested, reaching to take the Flashmatic from her.

"Evie, what are you—?!"

The two squabbled over it for a moment. Evie was stronger than Mary, so she was sure to overpower her. The Host Club watched in confusion as the girls fought over a hair dryer.

"No!" Mary cried.

One of them had accidentally pressed a button on the back panel. The world around them shifted and went black.


	8. Spilled the Metaphorical Beans

Thanks so much for all of the new follows and favorites! I had no idea people would like this. This is just guilty pleasure writing, and it's more or less a gift for the Evie character. Who would've thought? And thank you switchpersonalities and Hello-Nanabanana for another review!

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><p><strong>Spilled the Metaphorical Beans<strong>

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><p>The two girls held their breath, their hearts beating wildly in fear. There was an inky blackness around them, but they could still see each other plainly as if there was light somehow. Everything else pressed down like a dark cloud around them.<p>

Taking advantage of Evie's vulnerability and regaining her wits first, Mary snatched the remote back from her. She pulled her bangs away from her face, but they just fell back into place. "Now look what you've done!"

"Me?!" Evie squeaked, still staring around them. "Well, doesn't this just defy the laws of light…?"

"No kidding," Mary agreed, searching over the button panel. _What did we push?_

Evie tucked some loose hair behind her ear that had escaped her ponytail, looking over Mary's shoulder at the Flashmatic. "What do you think we hit?"

"I don't know!" Mary said crossly, afraid to press another button to right the situation. She glared up at her friend. "What got into you anyways?!"

"I…" Evie hesitated. The maid outfit she still wore was starting to grow on her, and she didn't want to exchange it for her pajamas and her stuffed cat. Because she knew what that meant. Her blue pleading eyes met Mary's. "I don't want to go back!"

"What?!" Mary burst. "Are you insane?!"

"We just got here!" Evie whined. "I mean… think of the opportunities! We're _here_. We were _talking_ to the _Host Club!_"

Mary's stance wavered a moment. She fiercely shook her head, swatting these thoughts away as she focused again on the remote. "Well, you might just get your wish. But we'll just be trapped in this creepy limbo forever."

Evie crossed her arms, not liking her friend's bitter attitude. Though it was unorthodox _to say the least_ – why didn't she want to give it a try? Where was that famous sense of adventure she always talked about? _They were literally in a cartoon! What more could you ask for?!_

"Maybe…" Mary mumbled. She fingered the button with the dark square. _Could they just have…?_ Her thumb roved over to the triangle. The play button. She shut her eyes. "Here goes!"

Evie gasped as Mary pressed the play button. Since Mary's eyes were closed, Evie was the only one to watch the world around them instantly come back. Like they had never disappeared. They stood in the middle of Music Room #3, the familiar hosts suspiciously watching them.

"You did it!" Evie exclaimed, calming considerably as she looked at the bright walls and pillars surrounding them. _Strange that she should feel comfort upon seeing them rather than skepticism and fear…_

Mary blinked. She lightly tossed the Flashmatic and caught it again, suddenly wearing a smug expression. "We just hit stop on accident! Easy peasy."

Evie nervously eyed the Host Club with a wan smile. She spun Mary around so she would see the incredulous looks they all shared. "Um… we'll be right back!"

"Ladies' room!" Mary added.

The two rushed to the yellow curtains across the room where Haruhi was meant to change into her different uniforms – when the boys realized she was a girl. Evie leapt inside, and Mary shut the curtain behind them.

"Okay, we've got to talk about this," Evie placed her hand on her hip, pointing at the remote control. "Speak words."

Mary hushed her, warning her not to speak too loud. She took a deep breath and began the long explanation her Nana had given her. How the Flashmatic came to her, how it was different from other models, and its strange ability to transport its holder to different, fictional dimensions. She also told Evie her suspicions that her grandmother had been using it for years, jumping to the different movies and shows that they had found written in that old binder. "Heck, I bet if I popped in an old black and white movie into the VCR, I could just look in the crowd and find her standing there!"

"Creepy…" Evie commented, taking up the Flashmatic and inspecting it carefully. "So… how'd she ever get back home?"

"Nana said she had to finish the story. Make sure it ended how it was intended," Mary didn't mean to rhyme, shaking her head at the coincidence of her words. "Which means we can't be here, I can't have tackled Hikaru, and you can't be wearing the maid outfit! You're in Haruhi's shoes. We have to get you out of them."

"How?" Evie's heart sunk.

Mary nodded with determination. "Rewind to the point you arrived! You'll redo whatever it is you did to screw up this story!"

"But…" Evie was about to protest when her eyes widened in realization. She quickly told Mary how she had run into Haruhi in the hallway. "Do you think Haruhi and I switched paths? That she should've taken the hall I took to get here…?"

"Precisely. All we have to do is right the situation, and we can go home," Mary agreed in a whisper, feeling like a scientist with all of this mumbo-jumbo. She attempted to take the remote back from Evie, but she held it away from her. "What now?!"

Evie's eyes were downcast. She bit her lip before she pitched her crazy idea. "What if… we stayed?"

"Then we can't go home!" Mary repeated in exasperation.

"I know! Just hear me out!" Evie insisted. Mary quieted, waiting as patiently as she could for a solid explanation – her arms crossed and foot tapping. Evie blew the bangs from her face in a huff. "Okay… what if we stayed? See how our story would play out? Then we can go back to the beginning and fix everything. Aren't you at least a little curious? If we had the power? If we had the opportunities Haruhi had? The adventure?"

The last word made Mary's eyes light up – as it was supposed to. The blonde stopped her incessant tapping and bit her finger nails. _What if?_ Evie had a point. It shouldn't hurt the time line if they still went back and fixed everything. _Right? What was the harm?_ Mary shook her head. "It's too dangerous… Someone's going to get hurt. We're going to get too attached, and we're not going to want to leave. We'll go insane, re-living these episodes over and over again to scrape happiness out of them!"

"When you say it like that!" Evie grumbled, her voice rising. "That's not going to happen! This show's too light-hearted and fun. Besides, it's really rather short… We'll buzz through it in no time!"

Mary couldn't believe what she was hearing. But at the same time, she was wondering how they were on their respective sides. This plan of Evie's was crazy enough to _easily_ belong to Mary. So why wasn't she going for it? Because it was real this time? It wasn't just a joke, or a plan for the far off future, or a game? Because it was right in front of her? _And all she had to do was stay…_

Evie was watching her friend's face hopefully, watching the expression soften as she began to go for it. She started to jump up and down excitedly, taking Mary's hand and trying to force her to jump, too. "We're in _Ouran_, Mary! Come on! Let's go!"

A smile spread across Mary's face, and she let out a chuckle. "Okay! But only if you promise we'll go back by the end."

"Duh! I promise!" Evie giggled, getting more excited.

Mary was finally feeling content with this silly scheme of theirs until she spotted the curtain. Her brow furrowed in concern and then alarm. Evie noticed the change and spun on her heel. A brown teddy bear that looked suspiciously like Tamaki's Kuma-chan was poking through the fabric barrier. What was more alarming was the small black device crudely taped to it, a red light flashing at them.

At the silence, the curtain was pulled back. Both girls whitened as Hikaru stooped and picked the stuffed bear up, a mischievous grin spreading across his lips. He tossed it to Kaoru beside him who switched the recorder off.

Evie and Mary exchanged a fearful look. Evie quickly replaced the Flashmatic into the bag, and Mary held it protectively.

"Busted!" The twins sang in unison, pouncing upon them.

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><p>"<em>But only if you promise we'll go back by the end."<em>

"_Duh! I promise!"_

Gasps were followed by a long silence and then muffles of static. The recording stopped.

Evie and Mary sat back to back within 'isolation,' otherwise known as the steel cage. They had just had their entire conversation about the Flashmatic repeated back to them. A heavy silence seemed to press down from all around.

The usually jovial boys were looking frightfully serious. Honey played with his bunny's arms where he sat, moving them up and down with a look of concern on his face. Mori's face was unreadable like it was etched in stone. It wouldn't have been so unsettling if his brow wasn't creased so deeply. The twins were sitting at opposite ends of a tea table. Hikaru was looking rather smug for getting back at Mary, his face held in his hand as he watched the girls squirm. But Kaoru was looking worried, his head resting in the crooks of his elbows on the back of his chair. Tamaki wasn't facing them, making the girls even more troubled. He seemed to have some sort of dark, thoughtful aura lingering around him as he stared at the tiles in the floor.

Of course, the only person who was still collected was none other than Kyoya. He lightly picked up the recording device, the one the twins had planted, from the table where it sat. He held it up for the girls to see. "Care to explain?"

Evie hated not being able to see his eyes behind those glasses. To not know what he was thinking. It was such a cruel advantage. Mary couldn't be more grateful for their glint, not able to face his wrath of any kind.

Mary looked to Evie, unsure of what to do. On the table where the recorder had been was a line of their belongings. The notebook paper of numbers, the Flashmatic, and the empty bag. Evie's clothes were neatly folded with her cat Fluffy sitting innocently on top.

They couldn't just rewind. They couldn't even leave the cage. They were utterly powerless in a place they couldn't afford to lose control of.

Evie spoke first. "We're not crazy."

Kyoya turned away from them, answering the buzz of his cell phone. He listened only for a moment before he snapped it shut with a disturbing finality. All eyes were on him. "That was the last person I knew to ask…"

Eyes widened around him. All but Evie's and Mary's. They exchanged confused glances of their own, waiting to hear the verdict.

Kyoya whirled around back to them. The girls knew they were in deep trouble since the severity of their situation had called Kyoya into the leadership role. But they weren't expecting what happened next. Kyoya gave them a look of curiosity – an expression they never thought would be for them. "According to my sources, you girls don't exist."

Now shocked eyes were on the girls. Mary and Evie shrunk, but they felt there could be some hope in this. _If Kyoya can't locate them, surely they have a chance at convincing them of the truth!_

"That's quite an impressive feat for a couple of young women," Kyoya said, setting the recorder back down on the table.

The prompt was enough to get Mary talking. "Everything you heard was true. On that tape, I mean. We're not from around here… this… this whole place…"

"It's a show in our world," Evie finished for her. "And in order for us to get home, we need to make sure certain events carry out how they're supposed to."

Mary hugged her shoulders, but she gained some confidence. "And we can prove it, too."

Evie looked at her in bewilderment before taking the cue.

"How?" Kaoru asked. His brother watched him curiously.

"Like… we know things we shouldn't," Mary said. She pointed at Honey. "I know Honey has a little brother named Chika, for example."

Though Honey and Mori sat up straighter, Kyoya quickly rebuffed this. "Easily researched."

"We know about your brothers," Evie said, looking him directly in the eye. "And we know how Tamaki convinced you to start the Host Club."

This made Tamaki peer at them in a more inquisitive light. Kyoya set his jaw.

"And we can tell the twins apart," Mary added, making the Hitachiin's glare in challenge. "Hikaru's the one on the right. We know what they were like in middle school. And we know about the maid—"

"Shut up!" Hikaru shouted suddenly. Kaoru's jaw had dropped, his eyes flicking to his brother.

Tamaki finally moved forward, squatting down in front of the cage. To their surprise, he gave the girls a kind smile. "What's the last event you need to get home?"

Evie and Mary blinked at each other. _Was Tamaki on their side? Trusting them? What was that knowing look he was giving them? How could he be so… so…?!_

"The Ouran Fair," Evie piped up. She averted her eyes. "After that, you won't hear from us again."

Tamaki stood and faced Kyoya. After a long look, the boy with the glasses adjusted the lenses up the bridge of his nose, looking down at the things on the table. He sighed. "Then… I suppose it's only safe to keep an eye on you until then. Besides… if what you say is true, you need to make sure your events play out as they're supposed to, correct? It would be beneficial for you to stick around."

Evie and Mary gaped at each other. _Was this really happening?! Were they being trusted? At least for the time being?!_

"Release them!" Tamaki commanded. Though no one seemed to move, the chains tightened above their heads, and the cage slowly rose, being cranked into the ceiling. As Evie stood and brushed herself off, Tamaki strode to meet her with a bow. "After all, we did make a promise."

_To make every girl happy…_

Evie smiled and ran past him with an excited squeal, taking up her stuffed kitten and hugging him for comfort. Mary was still sat on the floor, staring up in wonder at the nutty boy. If anyone else had said the things Mary and Evie had said, they would have thrown them into the loony bin no questions asked. And here Tamaki was, showing them compassion and understanding. It was the last thing Mary expected if their secret had gotten out.

But then again, Tamaki was always surpassing Mary's expectations. She smiled and took the helping hand he offered her, rising to her feet.

"So, what now?" The twins asked, still keeping up their synchronicity despite how obviously shaken they were. No one had ever won the 'Which One is Hikaru' game. _No one._ And two strangers had called them out without issue.

Evie nodded to Mary who gave her a smile in return. She went to the table, and the girls collected their things, filling up the tote. Evie vied to carry the paper, holding it up for Mary to see as she pointed the Flashmatic before them.

"We'll see you next time," Mary smirked, pressing in the sequence of numbers for the next episode. She pulled the trigger, and a flash of light shot from the remote and hit the nearest wall – which happened to be a pillar.

Evie giggled and waved at the shocked hosts. They had knocked chairs to the ground as they stood, the sound of wood clanging echoing around the room. Evie happily hopped into the portal they created. Mary stepped in after her, turning to get one last glimpse at the paralyzed expressions. She smiled, saluted, and disappeared after her friend.

The oval portal closed behind them, leaving a light trail of smoke. And a few stunned high school boys who no longer needed convincing.


	9. The Job of a High School Host!

Thank you switchpersonalities for another review! Sorry this came out so late. Not only did I hit a slump, but I had a busy weekend, and this chapter was so _long_. Hopefully, that helps make up for the delay.

Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>The Job of a High School Host!<strong>

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><p>Evie and Mary erupted into giggles as the portal closed behind them, and they found themselves in darkness.<p>

"Pause, pause!" Evie demanded, catching her breath.

Mary quickly pressed the appropriate button just before the world lit up in the pinks of the show's theme song. She hiked the tote over her shoulder. "We were so badass!"

"Did you see their faces?!" Evie excitedly clapped and hopped up and down with the coded paper still in her hands.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they believe us now," Mary chuckled, cockily tossing the Flashmatic up and down.

"Hey, lemme see that thing," Evie held out a hand. Mary relinquished the remote for the paper, stuffing it into the beige Ouran bag for safety. Evie studied the buttons on the back of the Flashmatic. "So this works just like any old TV remote, eh?"

"DVD, I'd say," Mary shrugged as she corrected her. "Since you can pause and rewind and all that."

"Aha, there's an AB function! That should be fun…" Evie's laughter trailed off as her brow crinkled.

"What's the matter?" Mary asked. She looked around at the dark around them, watching it shift a few times from being held in pause for so long.

Evie twisted a brown lock of hair around her finger as she studied the back panel. "Well, what's this button do? It's blank."

"Blank?" Mary asked again. She hurried behind Evie to look over her shoulder, having to stand on her tiptoes and use her arm as a boost since she was shorter. Mary found the button in question at the very bottom. "It kind of looks like a space bar."

"Huh," Evie shrugged. She wanted to give it a try, but she was worried it could alter the world or put them in danger.

Mary danced around back to the front of Evie, looking around them curiously. "Hey, do you think the show's theme song will be different, too?"

"I don't see why not," Evie shrugged. The brunette was still focusing on the button, going through the difficult tug-of-war of push or don't push.

The blonde tossed her hair over her shoulder and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, let's find out! Hit play already. I wonder if you'll look like a maid the entire show, or—"

_Push!_

Evie's decision to wing it shot a ball of static at her friend. The Flashmatic had been pointing in Mary's direction, and at the press of the space bar, bathed her in white light. Evie yelped and let go of the button, a worried hand slapping over her mouth. "Mary, are you okay?!"

The light disintegrated as fast as it had come, leaving Mary staring in awe at her new outfit.

Evie's eyes went wide. "You're… you're wearing what I'm wearing!"

Mary pulled down on the short black maid skirt, starting to blush in embarrassment. The lacey hat flopped over her brow. Luckily, the bag holding all of their possessions was still around her shoulder. "How did you do that?!"

"I hit the space bar!" Evie squeaked, showing the Flashmatic to Mary.

Mary pushed her cap back onto her head and snatched the Flashmatic from Evie, looking it over carefully. She bit her lip. "Strange… And I was thinking about that silly outfit when you did that… I wonder… Evie, picture an outfit."

"An outfit?" Evie parroted back.

"Something you'd like to wear," Mary clarified, already lining up the shot.

Evie noticed this and squealed. "No, no, no! Wait, you have to give me a minute!"

"You have three seconds to think of something," Mary taunted, thumb dangerously close to the long, rectangular button.

"Ah! Wait!" Evie wailed, holding her head. She paced in circles, trying to incite a good idea.

"Three, two—!" Mary warned, slipping out of the shoulder strap and discarding the bag for these experiments.

"Stop pressuring me!"

"One!" Mary pressed the button.

White static like snow on an old television set scrambled over Evie's figure. The girl reappeared not a moment later, staggering in a sparking pink princess dress complete with rhinestones, tulle, and enormous shoulder poofs. Her hair that had just recently been in a ponytail was curled in waves around her shoulders. Evie rather looked like Glinda the good witch from _The Wizard of Oz_.

"That was the first thing to come to mind?" Mary mocked, holding back snarky laughter.

Evie glared, stumbling through her heavy skirts to snatch the Flashmatic from Mary. "It's because you didn't let me think! Let's see how you like it!"

She had fired, and Mary was the one to be covered in static once again. When the pixels cleared, Mary was standing before Evie wearing baggy jeans, a roomie red zip up sweater, leather necklace, and sneakers.

Mary looked down at herself and shrieked at the boys' clothing.

"You look like your Ed Sheeran poster," Evie stated, cocking her head to the side. She grinned mischievously. "Is Ed Sheeran always on your mind~?"

"N-no!" She denied, but quickly caved at the look she was getting. "You know I have a weakness for gingers!" Mary blushed, furiously taking the Flashmatic back. Grumbling to herself, she pointed it back at Evie.

She squeaked in surrender, holding up her hands. "Hey, we're never going to get back to the show if we keep this up! Truce!"

"Oh, alright…" Mary blew the bangs from her face, hiking up the over-sized pants over her hips. "So what do you want to wear?"

"You go first!" Evie held out her hand for the device.

"Oh, fine!" Mary rolled her eyes. She thought about her own closet for a moment, and she decided clothes she was familiar with would be safest. She did her best to picture the slip on denim shoes, the candy cane striped skirt, and the black Ramones tank top. Mary closed her eyes and nodded, the picture in place. "Okay, go!"

Her friend pressed the button and illuminated Mary. The blonde emerged from the transformation wearing the outfit she pictured, her long hair in a high ponytail over her head. She spun for the full effect, happy it came out right.

Evie giddily clapped and handed Mary the remote. Her skirts swished as she ran a good distance away to receive the shot of light. "Ooo, good idea! Okay, do me! Do me!"

Mary flipped the Flashmatic around, smiling at her friend. "Okay, ready?"

"Ready!" Evie nodded, eyes pinched shut in anticipation.

After the static had coated Evie, the girl was dressed in her favorite blue jeans, baggy pink hoodie, and sloppy bun. She smiled at the transformation but frowned at Mary's reaction. "What?"

"Nothing," Mary rolled her eyes and picked up the bag once again. She found the skip scene button and prepared to press it. She turned her head to her friend. "You ready to head back in?"

"This thing is so nifty," Evie ignored her, admiring the Flashmatic.

"Good, let's go!" Mary pressed the fast forward skip.

The girls were overcome with nausea as the world around them flew forward, whipping them forcefully ahead through the colors that were the theme song. All at once, the trip was over, and they were standing in the hall outside of Music Room #3.

"Never… again…" Mary gulped, swaying on her feet as she struggled to stuff the Flashmatic in the bag. Her vision wasn't perfect, and she was dizzy, making the simple task an effort.

"We'll have to be more careful with that button," Evie agreed, her face changing back from green to a nauseated pale. She shook her head to clear it as she looked around. "Which episode is this?"

Mary took a few deep breaths before answering. She blinked at the double doors before her. "It should be the… second."

"So…?" Evie asked. She had only seen the show once or twice on occasion when she forced it on her sisters, so that left Mary as the resident expert.

"Kanako," she whispered.

Following Mary's eyes, Evie turned around to see a girl approaching. She was wearing the yellow girls' uniform, and her brown hair was cropped close under her chin. She had a forlorn look about her that quickly disappeared when she noticed the two staring at her.

"Why, hello," she greeted Mary and Evie. She had kind eyes.

Mary started to realize their outfits weren't the best choice – they were sticking out in this school like a sore thumb. She nervously smiled back at her. "Hello!"

"Hi!" Evie chirped.

"Are you girls transfer students?" Kanako politely asked, her hands folded before her. Mary couldn't get over the voices – the same woman who voiced Tohru from _Fruits Basket_ was speaking as Kanako. Mary wondered how that worked out, but when she remembered this wasn't a true reality, she forgot about it.

Before Evie got the chance to answer, Mary slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, we're nobody! Just lost! Go on in – do what you need to do!"

Kanako gave them a startled look, but she nodded, quickly leaving them and entering the Host Club.

"What was that for?!" Evie whined.

Mary wiped off her hand on her skirt with a sour expression. "We can't be saying anything that can distract her. If we throw off the plot, we're going to have lots of fixing to do."

"But who cares?! We can do whatever we want, remember?" Evie waved a hand in front of her face like she was zoning. "We're going back to the beginning anyways, so whatever we do or don't do won't be remembered."

Mary crossed her arms, letting out a huff. "Fine… I just don't like screwing with the story…"

"Well, I do – let's go!" Evie grabbed Mary's wrist and pulled her through the doors to Music Room #3.

The girls stumbled unceremoniously into the room, what with Mary struggling against Evie's tugging. The disturbance garnered the attention of a few of the main occupants of the room.

"I forgot it was going to be a jungle…" Mary muttered, watching a toucan fly through the thick canopy above them.

The room looked nothing like a school room – as per usual. The crazy antics of the Host Club had turned the place into a lush, tropical paradise. All because Kyoya had hinted with some Bali travel books to the king. Vines and various exotic flora covered the grounds and were strung through the humid air. And of course, the hosts were dressed for the part wearing their skirts and leis.

The twins were upon Evie faster than the poor girl could blink, propping up an elbow apiece on her head.

"Yay~!" A joyful cry echoed across the music room. The girls found Takashi Morinozuka carting a jubilant Honey on his shoulders. He stopped before them.

"Hey, guys!" Evie peered up at her forehead.

Mary silently saluted a wave.

"It's been over a week since you disappeared on us," Hikaru complained with a smirk.

"We were wondering if we were all hallucinating at the same time," Kaoru added, equally as sly as his brother.

"Hooray!" Honey cheered, making a dive off of Mori's shoulders. Mary struggled to catch him when he flung himself at her, but she found her cartoon strength was superior to her human abilities. She held him up as he crawled on her piggy back style. "Evie-chan and Mary-chan are back!"

"Yeah," Mori agreed with his observation.

"We're older than you, squirt," Mary laughed at Honey's childishness.

Honey's eyes went wide with curiosity, pink flowers spinning around him. "Onee-san?"

"Never mind; keep the chan."

"We were beginning to think you ran out on us," Kyoya strode forward, waving off the other hosts to go back to their business. The twins sulked off, sticking out their tongues. "You still have an eight million yen debt, and distracting our hosts is only racking up the numbers."

"How much does it cost to just say hello?" Mary jibed, handing Honey back over to Mori's control.

Kyoya's glasses glinted, reflecting his annoyance with her tone. Evie quickly stepped in with a smile. "Oh, we didn't forget! We assure you, all of our debts will be paid before we leave."

_Our debts?! You knocked over the vase!_ But Mary didn't need to be told twice with the pointed look Evie was giving her. There would be no money of course, but since they wouldn't exist, it would become Haruhi's problem again. She let her arms fall to her sides in defeat. "You'll be paid in full."

Tamaki had recognized the voices and heard the whisperings. He excused himself from the girls at his table – one of them was Kanako. Hosting hours were drawing to a close, so the girls began to file out behind Mary and Evie, giving the pair suspicious glances as they went. Kanako was one of them, the only girl looking down at her feet.

_That's right,_ the girls shared similar thoughts. _Kanako couldn't host hop to Haruhi, so she was still with Tamaki. _

"Guess we won't get to see that spiral of depression," Mary muttered.

Evie giggled at her friend but waved to Tamaki once he strode up behind Kyoya. "The time travelers make their return!"

"But we're not—" Evie was interrupted by Mary.

"Just let him go," she shook her head solemnly.

Tamaki was already in full swing – eyes shining and posing dramatically. "Skipping through the cosmos to mend time! Such a dramatic and dangerous adventure! I commend your efforts."

"Gee, thanks," Mary couldn't hold back her sass much longer. Evie elbowed her in the side.

"And look how cute you are~!" Tamaki inspected their respective outfits, popping up all over the place. "Not exactly dressed for peril, but it's certainly unique."

"And American," Kyoya smartly observed, making the girls pale considerably.

Evie was hugging her shoulders in embarrassment at Tamaki's examination. Mary took his comments as an insult to her personal style. Kyoya watched this with growing impatience.

Tamaki stood to his full height, full of pride (for what, no one was quite sure) as he looked them over and crossed his arms. "So what cosmic event brings you to our humble Host Club?"

"Hardly humble—" It was Evie's turn to cut off Mary.

"We're here to check up on a few things," Evie gave him a convincing smile despite how unsure she was about the situation. _What were they supposed to do now that they were here?_ Her eyes found Kanako. She bit her lip. "Actually, it has to do with one of your guests."

Tamaki recoiled, hiding behind Kyoya. "One of them is an alien?!"

"No one said any such thing," Kyoya scolded, his pen moving across the paper of his secret notebook.

Mary picked up the cue from Evie. "We have to ensure their happiness! And one of them is quite the opposite…"

"Who wants to bet it's Kanako Kasugazaki?" The twins appeared behind their king, shrugging their shoulders. "She's got the host hopping disease."

"Exactly!" Evie nodded.

"You guys have to get her back together with Toru," Mary added, thanking the stars she remembered the labelled 'boring' guy's name despite her forgetfulness to add a moniker for respect. _Funny… Did they do that on purpose somehow? Tohru's voice was with a guy named Toru in this show? Weird._

"Her fiancé," Kyoya nodded, closing his notebook. When he looked down at them, the girls could finally see his cold eyes. They couldn't wait until he became friendlier, but they'd have to wait quite a long time. "Right…"

"Great!" Mary piped up, pumping her fist. "So you guys get those two back together, and we'll see you next time!"

"Alright everyone, we'll have to work on our strategy," Tamaki cut her off with a familiar speech.

The hosts eyed each other in confusion. "What strategy?"

More determined than ever, sparkles and rose petals gathering around dramatically, Tamaki declared: "Men, it is our responsibility as members of the elite Ouran Host Club to make every girl happy!"

In the following silence that was meant to signify the halfway point of the show, Mary sighed. "Whatever… See you guys in a week."

"But what's the plan?!" Evie shrieked in worry, but it was too late.

Evie and Mary were sped ahead through the cut, as promised, to one week later. The night of the Ouran ball was just beginning, with gads of silly girls crowding one of the biggest ballrooms the ridiculous school had to offer.

Cherry blossom petals spun in the fresh spring air. As if an entire week had just passed in a few seconds, everyone was gossiping about school and the hosts gathered on the stairs.

Mary and Evie found themselves feeling sick once again, standing on the outer terrace. Mary held her spinning head as Evie tugged on her arm.

"Mary! Quick! We have to get inside – the ball's already starting!" Evie said, trying to drag her friend inside.

"W-wait!" Mary planted her feet. Evie stopped her pulling. Mary reached in the bag at her waist and pulled out the Flashmatic, giving Evie a playful smile. "We can't exactly go to a ball without dresses."

"Ooo!" Evie clapped, standing back as Mary positioned the remote at her. "I've got just the right idea!"

Mary pressed down on their magical outfit changer and watched as Evie was suddenly cloaked in a navy blue number. It went past her knees in tea cup skirt, and its filmy sleeves from her heart-shaped collar hung over the corners of her shoulders. Her hair was in a bouncy ponytail.

"Nice!" Mary complimented, tossing the Flashmatic. Evie jumped to catch it, juggling it for a second before gripping it tight. Mary spread her arms. "Now do me!"

Evie did the same. Mary's dress was similar, but it was a deep green and much shorter than Evie's. The smooth sleeves reached down to her elbows, her neckline was squared off, and the fabric shamelessly clung to her tightly.

Evie's jaw dropped, her hands going to her hips. "It's pretty, but it's hardly appropriate!"

"Thanks for the tip, Mom," Mary teased.

Evie stuck out her tongue, rolling her eyes at her friend's fashion choices.

Mary combed her fingers through her long hair, gathering it over one shoulder. She frowned at the big bag. Taking the Flashmatic back, she laid it to rest safely inside and clipped it closed. "You don't have to worry about people staring, anyways. This eyesore of a bag is like guy repellent."

"I can carry it!" She all too willingly offered.

"Nah," Mary remained stubborn. "Let's get in there, and see what we're missing."

The girls crept inside as applause erupted from the crowd of girls. The hosts descended the stairs, mingling with those immediately offering dances. String instruments from a full orchestra picked up a waltz.

"Where the hell do they get the budget for this shit?!" Mary looked around, gawking at the crystal chandeliers hanging above their heads.

"Never mind that!" Evie chided. "Let's go find out what this strategy is all—"

"Evie-chan is here!" Honey announced nearby.

"Alright, men. Then let us commence with our operation," Tamaki spun by with his gorgeous dance partner.

"Roger!" The call went out.

Before Evie could do anything, her arms were snatched up. She was sped away at a shocking rate, creating a great wind through the ballroom and kicking up a dust cloud.

"Hey!" Evie cried as her captors came to a halt – namely Mori. She was slung over his shoulder like a sack of grain. He carefully placed her back on her feet in the back room the hosts were gathered together in. "What's the big idea?"

"Wow, looking good, Evie!" The twins gave her a thumbs up for her dress.

"There are only twenty minutes until the party reaches its climax," Kyoya explained, looking particularly dapper in a long tuxedo coat. "Suzushima is in the classroom across the hall."

Evie paled, realizing she was in Haruhi's shoes. She stuttered in fear. "B-but why do I have to talk to him about the stupid confession letter?!"

"Good, you know the plan," Kyoya offhandedly remarked.

"I can't do this! Where's Mary?" Evie demanded, stomping her foot down.

"Right here," her friend appeared between the twins. She crossed her arms. "I don't see a problem with this. _You're_ the one who broke the vase after all."

Steam was coming off of Evie as she glared at her unsupportive comrade.

"Gentlemen!" The doors burst open from the dark hallway. Tamaki was looking confused in the entry. "There you all are! What are you doing? The guests are waiting for—"

Mary was prepared for him to fawn over Evie, but she wasn't expecting equal treatment. Tamaki circled them like an excited puppy. "Wow, you two are so pretty! Daddy's so proud!"

Both girls recoiled. They shared a look of concern. _He's on this daddy thing already?!_

Mary gulped and pushed Evie forward. "Well, she's ready! You guys better start this plan of yours before it gets too late."

"Mary's right," Kyoya nodded. He gave Evie a final briefing before she disappeared out the door, giving Mary a final pleading glance.

"Yellow plaid vests?" Mary turned to the twins. "Really? As the fashionistas, you should know that totally clashes with your hair."

"Who asked you?" They stuck their tongues out at her.

"This is perfect for Evie!" Tamaki's eyes glinted. "This is just the thing she needs to ensure her path to happiness! Perhaps the simulation of a confession of love will fill her young maiden heart with overflowing joy!"

"Or this plan of yours is just ridiculous enough to send her running and screaming from you forever," Kyoya muttered, crashing him back down to Earth.

Though she wasn't invited, Mary ran out after her friend. Unexpectedly, she was frightened without her around. Evie was her only connection to the real world. And what if something happened to either of them when they were separated? _Something fatal?!_

"Evie!" Mary squeaked in panic, catching up to her despite the precarious heels she was wearing.

Evie turned around, full of relief. "Thank goodness! I was terrified of doing this alone!"

Mary caught her breath and sighed. "Well, you'll still have to… but I didn't want to be separated. Who knows what could happen?"

Evie accepted this logic with a firm nod. "Right. But where's Kanako? Isn't she supposed to walk in on us?"

Mary looked around. Her eyes roved the tall windows where the flower petals from the trees came down like rain outside. "I'm not sure…"

"Should we trust Tamaki to get her?" Evie asked.

"Maybe…" Mary admitted. "But my Nana told me that sometimes she was needed for the story… could this be one of those times?"

"Eep!" Evie pointed over Mary's shoulder.

She whirled around to see Tamaki already leading the girl Kanako down the hall towards them. Mary cursed and shoved Evie into the classroom. "Hurry!"

Evie ran forward, making the boy inside waiting by the window jump in surprise. She pointed at the letter in his hand.

"You're the one who wrote this letter? You're totally different from—" Toru began.

"Yes, I know!" Evie cut him off, talking quickly. "But it doesn't matter because I know you like this other girl, but you're not man enough to tell her, so you're running off to England like a coward, but you just need to forget about me and tell her how you feel before it's too late, so like, _right now!"_

"Go, Evie!" Mary cheered in a whisper. She saw Kanako and Tamaki fast approaching and dived into the classroom to hide.

Toru Suzushima blinked his eyes. He paused, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He shook his head, giving her an incredulous look. "Wait, what?!"

Evie sighed. She gave him a small smile. "I know what this is all about… and I'm sorry for wasting your time. But if you're not going to give me the time of day, I suggest you spend it with the girl you really care about. She needs you, too…"

Despite his confusion, Toru smiled. _Evie had done it!_ He looked past Evie towards the classroom doorway, letting out a gasp.

Mary hoped she was going to go unseen underneath the desk as she watched the exchange. Kanako's tear filled eyes were locked on Evie and Toru standing together. The tears started to spill over, and she choked back a sob.

"I… I didn't mean to interrupt…!" She managed.

Evie felt terrible, wanting to console the girl. But she knew that wasn't her job. She deftly stepped out of the way as Toru called out to her. When it didn't work, he raced out of the room after her retreating form.

The click of heels died down, and Mary emerged from her hiding spot. Evie met her at the hall, exchanging a victorious high five. Tamaki was waiting behind the door, and when he saw the two looking so cheerful, he couldn't help but smile.

"We did it!" Evie said, letting out a heavy sigh. "Thank goodness – that was so stressful!"

"Aw, you did so well!" Tamaki congratulated, hugging her tight as she squeaked like a mouse.

Mary was the one to look fondly down the hall where the pair had disappeared. Her eyes suddenly widened. "Quick! We've got to get outside!"

"Right!" Evie agreed.

The girls dashed away from Tamaki back the way they had come, knowing he'd somehow get there before them. To ensure they'd make it in time, Mary pulled out the Flashmatic and firmly hit pause.

"Whoa…" Evie stared as their running came to an abrupt stop. She marveled at the dance floor of statues in the ballroom before them, mouths opened in laughter and chatter that was suddenly ceased. Hair paralyzed in the air as a head was turned. Heels brought up to take a dance step.

Mary looked left and right in the eerie silence before hurrying down the stairs. "Come on, back to the terrace!"

The girls wove their way through the crowd, coming out to another staircase. This one was made of the same grey stones that composed the courtyard spread out before them. The cherry blossoms in the air had frozen in place as well.

"Okay, now _that_ is awesome…" Mary touched one of the stray petals near her nose, picking it up out of its place.

Evie giggled, peeking over Kyoya's shoulder at his notebook. "This is so much fun!"

Mary had to agree with her, noticing the twins standing in place behind Tamaki – the girls were right that he had somehow beaten them to the terrace. She poked Kaoru, and a wide smile broke out on her lips. Carefully moving them, she switched the twins' positions so they were on opposite sides of each other. When the girls would hit play, they should get a proper shock.

"What are you doing?" Evie strolled over with a scolding tone in her voice.

"Just having some fun!" Mary replied innocently enough, setting up Hikaru where his brother had been standing and vice versa.

Evie turned and looked out at the spotlights shining down on Kanako and Tohru. Her brow furrowed when she looked back at the twins. "Hey, where are their bananas?"

"Excuse me?" Mary finished her prank, turning to her friend in confusion.

"They're supposed to have bananas to trip Tamaki," Evie explained further.

Mary noticed the issue. She put a hand to her chin. "Hm… You're right. Want to check if there are any on the spread?"

"Already on it!" Evie laughed, hurrying back inside.

Mary didn't have to wait long for Evie to return with a bunch of bananas. She held them up doubtfully as Mary pressed the play button. "You know, I think these were meant to be decorative."

"They'll work," Mary shrugged, taking one for herself.

The noise had begun again full swing around them. The music, the whispers of the girls in the crowd, and the light steps of Kanako and Tohru as they danced across the courtyard.

"Aw, isn't it sweet?" Evie sighed.

Though the twins were confused at having switched places suddenly, they seemed to forget it once they noticed Evie and Mary before them – somehow knowing they were the culprits.

"Not really," Mary yawned. She took a bite from her banana. "This episode bores me."

Evie gave her a shove before she noticed the twins watching them. "Banana?"

The twins narrowed their amber eyes in suspicion, but they accepted the fruit as a mischievous plan came to mind. Evie smiled to Mary who gave her another victory high five.

As the dance came to an end, the Hitachiin twins finished their bananas and made the announcement that Kanako was queen of the ball.

"And for her reward," Hikaru began.

"A kiss on the cheek from the king!" Kaoru finished.

"Are you ready?" Tamaki posed, much too confidently to be taken seriously.

Mary held in laughter as Evie gave her a poke. She followed her gaze and saw the banana peels placed on the stairs.

"But if there isn't a substitute, what's going to happen?" Mary whispered.

"Maybe Tamaki will accidentally kiss her full on the mouth?" Evie shrugged.

"What are you two scheming?" Hikaru folded his arms over Mary's head.

Kaoru did the same on Evie's. "Trying to make a fool of the boss?"

"Why, I'd never!" Evie answered innocently at the accusation.

"Besides, don't you idiots do this kind of crap all the time?" Mary grumbled, feeling belittled by them.

The twins snickered above the girls, watching as Tamaki descended the stairs. All four held their breath as the banana peels went comically unnoticed by the blond boy until his foot was placed squarely on top of one.

With a yelp, Tamaki fell down on the last step. He pitched forward and ran straight into Kanako – effectively shoving her into Toru where they shared a quick kiss.

"Well, that was unexpected," Mary mumbled in disappointment.

"I think this turned out better than the original," Evie smiled. Tamaki was red in the face, but he had brought himself up with dignity before the proclaimed 'awkward couple.' She turned to Mary with a bright grin. "And it's just the beginning! I can't wait to see what else we can do!"

Mary giggled. "Me, too!"

The blonde brought out the remote control. The girls were still underneath Hikaru and Kaoru's hold, so Mary looked up with a smirk. "Get ready to fall!"

Plugging in the next numbers, Mary shot the newest portal at the stone banister before them. The girls jumped away and fell into the sphere of light.

True to prediction, the twins face planted just like Tamaki just had. _Karma's a bitch._


	10. Beware the Physical Exam!

Aaaaahhhh, where have I been?! Work, illness, and internet have been a pain, but here's the next chapter!

I haven't said it before, but I wanted to make it clear that I have no intentions of leaving this story. Though updates may be sporadic, they're always on the way. I'm not going anywhere! Sorry for making you worry~ D:

Also, much thanks to the new follows and favorites and switchpersonalities, Hello-Nanabanana, and the aptly vaguely named: Someone and Another Guest for your reviews!

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><p><strong>Beware the Physical Exam!<strong>

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><p>Mary found it incredibly easy to fall in love with the cherry blossoms. The way they swirled in the air like falling snowflakes, and the warm rays of sun glittered off of the petals like sparkling gems in the sky. At the front gates of Ouran Academy, the spring was shedding the forest garden of trees of all of their pretty pink flowers.<p>

"With the way they're falling," Mary wondered aloud, gazing at the freshly cut grass around them, "you'd think they'd pile up like snow or leaves. Maybe if I just lay here, they'll bury me."

Evie laughed as she watched her friend fall to the ground and sprawl out. Arresting the bag from her, she dug around for the Flashmatic before pointing it at herself. With the push of the blank button, Evie was comfortably dressed in a green turtle neck sweater and jeans. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew! Feels good to get out of that dress! Come on – get up! Let's go find the boys."

"Yeah," Mary grumbled, reaching for the Flashmatic to get out of the green party dress she was still wearing. With a bit of static, she was soon dressed in her default candy cane skirt and Ramones tank top. "We have to find the quack doctor, Yabu, before he causes any trouble at the physical exams."

"Ugh!" Evie groaned, rolling her eyes. Though Mary was reaching her arms up for assistance, Evie defiantly put her hands on her hips and glared down at her instead. "When are you going to loosen up?! We've been through the motions – I know we can't leave until we finish the story, so we're going back, and none of this is going to have happened. Right?"

"Uh…" Mary blinked, not expecting her friend to suddenly sound so frustrated with her.

"So why do you insist we stick to the plot? Everything will be fine!" Evie shook her head. She gave Mary a reassuring smile. "We've got the chance to explore and meet people _who don't technically exist_. You're crazy if you say no to that!"

"Well…" Mary knew Evie had a point, but she was still worried. She didn't like straying from the story line. _What if they were needed for something important to occur? How much dialogue would change? Would they ruin things in Ouran?_

Evie saw her friend was brooding. Grabbing Mary's hands, she violently yanked her to her feet. "That's it! This episode, we're doing things my way!"

Mary blanched as Evie dragged her off into the trees. _Her way?! What was that supposed to mean?_

It wasn't long before the girls wound their way through the thin trunks and came upon a garden party. Blankets were spread out in various picturesque locations with fancy, antique tea services upon them. Girls in their ridiculous yellow dresses were gathered around where hosts poured tea and filled their pretty, little heads with false compliments.

Mary glared at the scene. "They look like waiters at Applebee's…"

"Hey, guys!" Evie waved, calling out to them and completely ignoring Mary's negativity.

Tamaki noticed her first and fled his guests to greet the pair. He gallantly swept up Evie's hand. "The beautiful travelers return to us! Chic as ever, I see~ Would either of you lovely ladies care for a spot of tea out of our elegant, imported sets?"

"Sure!" Evie chirped. Even though she wasn't a fan of most any tea, she was sure the hosts wouldn't disappoint. She left Mary's side to be led away to Tamaki and Kyoya's area. She could already see the be-speckled boy halfway through his pitch about Host Club photographs with a few empty-headed girls.

Mary moodily clung to the bag holding the important relics from their own world, twisting the beige shoulder strap in her fist. Her stomach was suddenly clenched with nerves. _How did Evie do it so well? Treating them like real people…? _

She swiveled her head to see what everyone else was up to. The terrible twins were pulling one of their routines, highly questionable as always. Mary attempted to picture herself as one of the girls currently fawning over them and their 'forbidden' antics and her expression soured, a hand shielding the sight from her. "No way."

Evie was standing with Kyoya, apparently holding a conversation with him - to Mary's shock and awe. Tamaki was busily flitting back and forth between being Prince Charming for his guests and screaming in protest at Kyoya's sarcastic remarks. Evie was laughing between them, watching the show with the best seat in the house.

That left…

Mary's feet plodded along before she robotically came to a stop by Honey and Mori's blanket. Her knees bent on their own accord, and she more or less fell into a sitting position a fair distance from everyone else.

"Hey, it's Mary-chan!" Honey greeted, flowers twirling around his adorable head as usual. He seemed to have just popped out of a depression, and by the two girls viciously fighting over the three drops of tea he made for them next to her, Mary remembered why. _Funny how some things still carry over…_

"Er, what?" Mary squeaked, holding her throat at the sound. _Why was she acting like Evie all of the sudden?! She wasn't shy! She was… bold. In her own world…_

"Did you want a snack?" Honey repeated the question she had zoned out for. He held up a variety of cookies and cakes. "There's strawberry, and lime, and cherry!"

"Mm…" Mary mumbled behind her fingers. Her other hand dug deeper into the strap of the bag.

"What, are you new?" One of the girls suddenly asked, making Mary's face go red.

"Yeah, are you nervous?" The other girl asked. Luckily, the Honey and Mori fangirls were much kinder. They both smiled. "Honey and Mori don't bite!"

"Yeah, they're both really kind!"

"Haha!" Honey suddenly giggled when he saw their assurances weren't helping Mary's blush lessen. "You're so cute when you're shy!"

"I am not!" Mary blurted, a vein character popping up over her brow.

Though no one else was particularly amused by her angry outburst, Honey just laughed again and sorted through the different cakes, picking up the lime. "Then we'll just have to choose for you! What do you think of this one, Takashi? Do you think Mary-chan would like it?"

"Yeah," came the baritone, usual response.

"Here ya go~!"

_Players! How do they do this? It's so surreal!_ Mary grumbled to herself, but she accepted the plate and gilded fork offered to her.

"It seems your friend has a taste for Honey-senpai," Kyoya observed, back to scribbling whatever it was he always scribbled in his notebook as his guests dissipated.

"You think so?" Evie asked, hands clasped behind her back. She wrinkled her nose as she observed Mary as she quickly ate the entire slice of lime cake in a few bites.

"They seem to get along rather well," Kyoya said.

"I don't think so," Evie disagreed. She was glad it was so surprisingly easy to talk to Kyoya. At first, she was terrified he'd bite her head off or try to sell her something. Of course, the latter was still expected, but he was already rather chatty. "I mean, she'd never admit it, but you—er—I mean, what? I don't know, Honey's super cute, yeah, sure."

Kyoya's pen stopped moving for a few awkward moments as Evie's face flushed. _She almost just said that!_ She almost just admitted that, after careful consideration, they each had their preferred hosts. And Kyoya certainly wasn't low on either of their lists. _How embarrassing!_

"If you really want to know, Tamaki's her favorite," Evie admitted. It was better to change the focus with a little truth than let the girls' Kyoya obsession hang in the air between them.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Hm. From what I've observed, I wouldn't have made that conclusion."

Evie laughed at his roundabout way of saying 'oh.' "Well, you can't just assume all people work the same."

For some reason, Kyoya almost wanted to ask, drawing from the same logic, who Evie's favorite was. But he quickly realized that was a ridiculous question, and so he remained quiet.

"Well, this was fun!" Evie brightly announced, smiling wide with her doe eyes shut tight. "Thanks for the awkward chat. I'm gonna head over and see when Mary wants to skip ahead."

"Right…" Kyoya said, not taking his eyes off of the folder balancing in the crook of his elbow. Only after her footsteps marched a fair distance away did he chance watching her go.

"So!" Evie grinned, standing over her friend. Mary whirled around and looked up to meet her suspiciously sly gaze. "Having fun?"

"Lots!" Honey said. He yawned and the guests swooned as he rubbed his eye. "But all this yummy food makes me sleepy~"

Mary put the plate back on the blanket, careful not to clatter it around too much. She stood and brushed out the wrinkles in her skirt and collected her bag. With as much dignity as she could muster, Mary nodded to the two Host Club members. "Thank you… for the cake."

"Yeah," Mori said, to no one's surprise. His shrewd eyes studied the pair of girls for a curious moment before he noticed Honey curled up in a ball. "Mitsukuni. No sleeping on the ground."

"Aw…!" Honey whined, yawning again.

Mary and Evie walked away from the commotion. Seemingly out of earshot of any characters, Evie's growing smirk erupted into a full out, cheeky grin. Mary eyed her with a sideways glance, her grip relaxing on the satchel she was always carting around. She finally gave up and stopped walking, effectively stopping Evie as well. "Okay, _what_ is with that face?"

"So…?" Evie drew out the word, swaying side to side and making her ponytail follow along like a pendulum. "Having fun?"

Her sass ebbed away slowly; the pout quickly becoming a smile. "…Yeah. I admit it. This is really kind of awesome!"

"I _told_ you!" Evie slapped her friend's shoulder and giggled happily.

"Honey's so cute! And he was right in front of me! _Giving me cake!"_ Mary girlishly held her heart.

"I knew you were holding it in!" Evie snapped her fingers.

"I had to!" Mary interjected. "Can you imagine? I would've hugged him into a thousand pieces."

Evie laughed at Mary's expense and repeated how much she 'knew it' with a little jig.

Mary crossed her arms and her weight shifted to one hip, back to her sassy, grumpy self. "This was all well and good, but what are we supposed to do for the physical exams coming up? Stand by and gawk like all of the other girls not named Haruhi in this show?"

Evie stuck out her tongue. "Ew, no!"

"Well?!" Mary said, exasperated. "Unless we go after Yabu, that's all there is to do…"

"Fine!" Evie relented, wrenching the bag away from Mary. She found the Flashmatic without difficulty and puffed the bangs out of her face with a deep breath. "Okay! So how do we skip ahead?"

"Wait! That made us—!" Mary made a wild grab, but she was too late.

The colors around them sped ahead, and without much warning, tiles were under their shoes and they were surrounded by pillars and air conditioning. The girls regained their balance and held their upset stomachs.

"Really sick…" Mary finished her previous thought, waves of nausea engulfing her.

"Mm… Yeah, I forgot," Evie admitted, holding her aching head.

Eyes still shut tight, Mary blindly grabbed around until she found the Flashmatic. She pulled it out of Evie's grasp and jammed it back in their bag.

After a few minutes, the girls were feeling well enough to explore the part of the school they were in. It was devoid of any kind of human activity, but the low rumble of hundreds socializing wasn't too far off. Before long, Evie and Mary found themselves in a mass of students all walking in one direction.

"We look strange…" Mary observed, as did many other students. Their clothes made them stick out like cupcakes in a sea of blue and yellow pastel dinner mints.

"If we get separated, at least it'll be easier to find each other," Evie thought optimistically.

Forced to agree, Mary nodded and continued on through an open doorway. She recognized it as the same long aisle where countless nurses and doctors would be lined up to assist the students. "Maybe we better get out of the way. I'd hate to get examined by mistake!"

"Eek!" Evie squeaked in fear, quickly following Mary's lead and winding their way horizontally across the lines of students. After a few nudges and apologies, the girls were in the clear in a vacant corner. "So… what do we do now?"

"Well…" Mary thought with a hand to her chin. "Besides finding Yabu, we'll have to be able to help him. How do we get our hands on maps of schools in the area?"

"Front desk?" Evie shrugged.

It wasn't difficult to find assistance at Ouran. The girls found a supervisor, and from there, they made their way to an information desk where a handful of smiling secretaries were ready to help.

"Having trouble finding your examination rooms, ladies?" A sweet faced girl closer to their age asked politely, beaming with servitude.

"Uh, actually…" Evie mumbled, unsure of how to go about asking for maps without causing suspicions.

Mary didn't care about raising suspicions, so she took the initiative and talked over her friend. "Yeah, hi. Can we get some maps of the local schools?"

The woman looked confused. "Having trouble… finding… your school?"

"No, it's purely conversational," Mary explained with a wave of her hand. "Besides, I'd really hate to go into detail."

Evie was about to scold her for being so rude, but the woman acquiesced and hurried off to fill their request. Now, Evie was full of praise. "Wow, you make a good rich kid! Like you've been doing this all your life or something."

"Well, I didn't think rich kids would necessarily be all hunky-dory with the staff asking intrusive, tiresome questions," Mary shrugged.

"Your sass makes you good at being a spoiled brat," Evie teased. Mary's response was to stick out her tongue in defiance.

The woman returned, flipping her long dark hair over her shoulder and replacing her plastic smile before addressing them. She had a few brochures in her hands that she placed on the counter. "Here you are! Are these suitable?"

Mary and Evie browsed through the pamphlets, shrugging and nodding as they did so. Evie spoke first: "Sure! They look great; thanks!"

After giving her a sharp jab with her elbow, Mary picked up. "Yes, they'll do."

"Glad to be of service," the woman bowed.

Once they were out of earshot, Evie started to complain. "I think you're too good at being a snob… that hurt!"

"Sorry," Mary sincerely apologized. "But if our outfits don't raise questions, they'll be asking about how sugar-coated we are. Okay! Now to find Yabu. Any ideas?"

"Guess we've got to start with that girl who got 'attacked,'" Evie made air quotes around the last word.

"That's right!" Mary snapped her fingers. "If we find her, we'll find Yabu easy-peasy."

"Your slang today is very strange."

"Wait, is that him?!" Mary frantically pointed to a hunched man in a lab coat rounding a corner out of sight.

"Only suspicious types who move the plot walk like that!" Evie agreed triumphantly. "Let's get him!"

The girls dashed across the room, dodging students and nurses alike. A few shouts and shrieks of surprise trailed behind them as they rounded the bend and ran like bats out of hell towards the messy lab coated figure.

The man heard the rapidly thumping footsteps and turned around just in time to utter an exclamation of alarm before Mary and Evie had tackled him to the ground, a cloud of previously nonexistent dust blowing around them. When it settled, it revealed both girls pinning the man to the ground by the shoulders.

Yabu looked back and forth between them in fear. "Wh-what's going on?! I didn't do anything!"

"No, but you were about to freak the hell out of someone by touching them. You don't _do_ that," Mary scolded, her voice more commanding than usual.

"Here," Evie handed the befuddled man the brochures. "These are maps of the area. Your daughter doesn't go here. She goes to one of these public schools."

Yabu blinked in confusion, staring at the maps under his nose. He finally decided: "I… I can't take them. You're on my arms."

"Oh."

The girls released him, and they all rose to their feet without any sustained injuries. They were forced to repeat their explanations in a more civilized manner, since Yabu was so shocked and slightly in fear of his life by the way they grabbed him out of nowhere.

"Thank you, girls. Very much," Yabu made a short bow to them, walking away down the hall towards the nearest exit.

"Next time try the information desk like a normal person!" Mary said. "Wandering around a school could get a man arrested…"

"You're mean," Evie frowned, crossing her arms.

"You're right – I think I'm having too much fun with it," Mary admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. She hiked up the shoulder bag.

"Okay!" Evie's eyes lit up as her plan went back into action. She clenched her fists in excitement. "So now that that's out of the way – what do we do?"

"Gawk at the—"

"No!" She refused, interrupting her from suggesting it again. Evie grabbed the beige Ouran tote from Mary, wrapping it around her own shoulders as she posed for an adventure. "We can explore! See what there is to see. We have a whole empty tour of Ouran at our disposal! We can—"

"Hey, you there!"

Both girls jumped and turned in bewilderment to see a pair of male nurses rapidly approaching them. They didn't appear too happy, and their long aprons made them look like murderous butchers. They stopped before the main duo with arms crossed. "Skipping out on the exams, eh?"

"Huh?" Both Mary and Evie gulped in unison.

"All students are required to take the physical exam," the second, calmer man stated. "We must ask you to return to the facilities immediately to be sorted for your recordings."

"But we don't even—" Evie was about to argue, but even Mary didn't have time to stop her from spilling the beans before a couple of female nurses suddenly appeared.

"Come with us, please," they smiled. Their eyes dangerously flashed.

"Run!" Mary commanded, pulling Evie's arm along with her in the opposite direction.

"Hey!"

"Stop!"

"No need to be afraid—!"

"—Just an exam!"

"Wait!"

Puffing and dodging more students who were staring at them like they were raptors on a rampage, Evie and Mary found themselves at the end of the wide hall with two options.

"Left!" Mary cried, veering quickly.

"No, right!" Evie shouted.

"Okay!" Both girls agreed with one another. Not realizing their mistake, Evie made a mad dash for the left hall, and Mary went right.

Mary's shoes squeaked against the linoleum as she turned another corner. She was sure she should have come full circle by now and would wind up right where they wanted her in the main room. Their thudding feet were still close behind her in pursuit. _But where could she go?!_

She found a side door, and she turned the handle and pushed without further debate. Mary quietly shut it behind her, hoping it would go unnoticed. When she whirled around, there were rows upon rows of white curtains. Or rather, perfect places to hide.

"Did she go in here?"

Shivering at the voices behind the door, Mary took off running again. She tumbled through the curtains and fought her way through. She batted them away as much as she could, but Mary tripped up at the finish and came crashing down with a yelp, pulling a tall white curtain divider with her.

Eyes rolling from the collision, Mary managed to pull herself up and untangle herself from the curtain before inspecting her surroundings. When she did, two shirtless gingers were watching her from above.

"Ah!" Mary screamed, backing away until she was against the wall with her hands over her eyes. "Jesus Christ, put some clothes on!"

"It's not our fault you attacked our changing room," Kaoru's casual voice said.

"Maybe she's just a pervert, and she didn't get a good look earlier when we had our measurements taken," Hikaru suggested.

"I don't think Peeping Toms cover their eyes, Hikaru," Kaoru argued.

"Are you wearing clothes yet?!" Mary shouted, frustrated she couldn't see during this conversation about her.

"Don't worry, it's rated G again," Hikaru haughtily sniffed.

Mary peeked between her fingers and saw that the twins were straightening each other's ties in their full uniforms. She breathed a sigh of relief. _Still, of all the places to wind up… it had to be the twin terrors._

"So the boss is your favorite," Hikaru sparked conversation once again, squatting down to her level.

First intimidated by his closeness and his eerily feline amber eyes, Mary was immediately angered after registering his words. "Wh-what?! Who said that?"

Kaoru squatted down next to his brother, both of them shrugging in sync. "We tend to overhear things."

"It's one of our many talents," Hikaru added with a nod.

"Overhear?!" Mary was still speaking at an unholy decibel. She went back over conversations she had in her mind, and if anything, they should be suspecting her of favoring Honey… So who brought up Tamaki? _Who would _know_ to?_ "Evie!"

The twins seemed satisfied with her realization, smirking at her in victory.

"Evie!"

The second exclamation was less vengeful than the first. In fact, it was panicked. Mary leapt to her feet in a flash, looking around like a lost puppy. "Oh, no! I lost her! We were running from those doctors, and…!"

"Running from doctors?" Kaoru asked, more realistically concerned than his twin.

Hikaru seemed more interested in the possibility they were pulling a prank of some kind and had gotten caught. "What did you guys do?"

Both boys were startled when tears welled up in Mary's muddy brown eyes, her hands clamped over her mouth. Evie was somewhere off in Ouran. _Possibly caught!_ And what's worse – Mary was all alone. _Without the Flashmatic!_ "W-What am I gonna d-do?!"

"Hey, chill out," Hikaru ordered. He looked away so he didn't have to awkwardly watch her cry. "She's gonna be fine. It's not like we're in the jungle – this is a school."

"Yeah, she probably just wandered off somewhere," Kaoru said, much gentler and kinder but still unnerved she was suddenly falling to pieces.

"No, I have to find her! Right now!" Mary demanded, quickly moving past them and escaping the curtain room. Sniffling and holding her shoulders in fear and slight embarrassment, she looked left and right down the room and decided on the door she had come through. _Best to retrace her steps._

"What's with the hurry?" Kaoru asked, falling into step beside her on her right.

"Yeah, like I said, relax," Hikaru said, hands clasped behind his head on her left. "You're getting worked up over nothing."

"Nothing?!" Mary griped, a glare set on her brow as her pace quickened. "I'm sure if Kaoru suddenly disappeared, you'd be just as concerned!"

"But we're twins," Kaoru pointed out. Both boys were unnerved she had been able to tell them apart again so casually.

"Doesn't matter," Mary shook her head, opening the door and heading out. "I'm just as much of a twin with Evie as you are with each other. It's not about looking like the other or anything superficial like that. It's all in your head."

The Hitachiin twins fell behind, lingering by the door as Mary retraced her steps back down the hall. The wide windows reminiscent of the hall attached to their music room let in buckets of bright daylight, illuminating the entire passage and rendering the crystal chandeliers over their heads useless. They exchanged a curious look with one another.

"Is it?" Kaoru quietly asked, hands in his pockets.

Hikaru's expression soured as his arms fell to his sides. Finally beckoning a hand over his shoulder, he strode after Mary. "Come on."

Though he didn't stop thinking about it, Kaoru kept his thoughts and questions to himself and hurried after his brother to keep up.

* * *

><p><em>Now… where… the heck did Mary go?!<em>

Evie panted, hands placed on her knees as she regained her breath. She stood straight and leaned against the wall, parting the bangs from her eyes.

_Dang, this sweater is hot…_

Remembering the bag around her shoulder, Evie looked down and riffled through it to find the Flashmatic. Tongue sticking out in concentration, Evie thought of a blue T-shirt and tan shorts before she aimed the Flashmatic at her person and pressed the correct button. Refreshed in the more breathable outfit, she sighed. "Phew… much better!"

Evie looked around her, satisfied she had lost the nurses and doctors long ago. Being a sports champion had its perks. She opted to carry the Flashmatic in her fist as she began to walk further down the hall.

The high-vaulted ceilings and lit atmosphere were as breath-taking as ever. With a quick peek into a closed classroom, a few star charts and high quality telescopes told her it was an astronomy class. _Cool!_

"Eh…" Evie closed the door, hearing it click shut. "This was supposed to be more fun with Mary here. No one's complaining…"

She chuckled at her own wit and continued on down the hall. The buzz of conversation came to her ears, and she proceeded with caution. Poking her head around the corner, she was surprised to find only one person in another empty hall.

Evie wasn't quite sure how to go about a greeting, and by the time she was mulling one over, she was already leaning against the window sill next to him. The best she could come up with was eventually: "Hi."

"You've been creating quite a fuss," Kyoya offhandedly reprimanded her, looking over his previous pages of notes. He clicked his pen and wrote a correction.

Evie puffed the bangs from her face again, juggling the Flashmatic between her hands. "Haha… Yeah. We don't go here, so I hardly need an exam! Your doctors?"

Kyoya fiddled with his glasses. "Yes. They're part of my family's specifically chosen hospital staff."

"I get the feeling you don't like me knowing things," Evie rightly guessed with a small smile. The Flashmatic landed in her left hand, and she kept it there. His silence proved her correct. "I guess I'd be weirded out if a couple of crazy people suddenly appeared with infinite knowledge, too."

"I never said that," he corrected her, but he went ignored - much to his annoyance.

"Especially if they knew so much personal stuff. Yeesh," Evie laughed. She took a deep breath and stared across the hall through the open door where doctors and nurses were with groups of students on scales and behind curtains. "Done with your exam?"

"Aren't you supposed to know?"

"Cheeky," Evie commented. "But fair enough."

Kyoya closed his book with a _snap!_ Evie pretended not to notice his unease and the rising tension in the air as his frown deepened. "I don't know who you're supposed to be, but I decided to give you and your friend the benefit of the doubt at Tamaki's request. If the decision was mine, I wouldn't have tolerated such wild claims. Furthermore, if I suspect anything underhanded, don't think I'll hesitate to end it."

Evie finally looked at him and studied him closely. Sure she was about to say something about how 'cryptic' he was, or even make a threat of her own, Evie said something completely unusual. "I was thinking about what it means to be human."

Kyoya blinked, using every faculty known to him to restrain any signs of showing the great amount of confusion he felt. He wound up biting his tongue as she continued.

"I thought it'd feel different," Evie looked down at her free hand, closing and opening it. "But it doesn't really. At all… I thought I'd be crazy and all over the place and static. Two-dimensional. Flat and narrow minded. But I don't feel any different from how I normally feel in my own world."

_There she was going on about worlds again._ Though he couldn't place these two girls by any resources he had access to, Kyoya was sure they were escaped asylum convicts of some kind. His fist tightened at his side. _Mental!_

Evie gave him a warm smile, taking him aback. "I guess that just goes to show the medium doesn't limit you. Your world can be just as real as mine!"

"_Evie!"_ A scream cut across the hall, and Mary was upon Evie faster than either of them could blink. The twins appeared behind Mary at the end of hall, not up for running like maniacs to regroup.

"Ah! You're squishing me like I'm Honey!" Evie giggled as she tried to pry Mary off of her.

"It was so scary by myself!" Mary whined but finally freed her friend. She turned to the twins with a condescending glare. "Well, I wasn't _all_ alone. These goons have been following me."

"Hey!" Both Hikaru and Kaoru objected, eyes burning in anger.

"Hey, where's everybody been~?" Honey called from Mori's shoulders as they exited the exam room full of noisy students. "Everybody healthy?"

"Yeah," Mori assured him, his black hair getting squashed by Honey's folded arms.

"Mary~!" A wild Tamaki appeared and used tackle.

Mary shrieked at his sudden proximity and batted him away, soundly punching him in the jaw. Tamaki gasped and recoiled, tears hanging in the corners of his eyes as he held his wounded cheek and pride. "That's no way to treat your favorite!" He accused.

Her jaw dropped, but to Evie's relief, Mary turned her ferocity on the twins. "You told him?! Do you realize what that's going to do to his ego?!"

"Like it wasn't big enough…" Evie shrugged, a cartoon sweat drop appearing over her head.

The Hitachiins snickered and stuck their tongues out at her. Mary bared her claws and hissed.

"Okay, that's enough fun for one day!" Evie laughed as she restrained her friend.

"So…" Tamaki was already back for another beating. Rose suddenly in his hand and fingers in his fabulous locks of hair as he posed in front of Mary, sparkles surrounded him when he winked. "Was it my charm or good looks that got you, my dear~?"

"I'm gonna kill you!" Mary seethed at the twins who were now dancing as they mocked her. She still couldn't hide her embarrassment as her cheeks lit up like a tomato.

"I know! It was my princely aura!" Tamaki said, spinning on his heel. "No sane woman can resist such a handsome display of selfless love!"

At this point, Evie was having a hard time holding Mary on her own. Honey shouted for Mori to help her, but it was too late. Soon, Mary was chasing the twins in circles with a very confused and jilted Tamaki with a wilted rose in the center.

Kyoya watched all of the nonsense with his steady, unwavering gaze. He found himself holding out the palm of his hand. He flexed his fist a couple times and shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips. He shut his notebook.


	11. Attack of the Lady Manager!

Jeez, I better get in gear, so you guys don't have to wait so long for updates. I've got a deadline set, and I'm determined to finish this entire story within the month. This'll mean one or two chapters daily, so we're going from no chapters to _all_ of the chapters. I apologize for my absence!

Thank you to the great reviewers and the kind words you sent my way last chapter! Especially switchpersonalities; thanks so much for reviewing yet again – it means a lot! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, Imitation1! HIGH FIVE to TheBlackBloodPrincess – unless you meant Mary and Evie. I can do that, too. xD

* * *

><p><strong>Attack of the Lady Manager!<strong>

* * *

><p>"I am <em>dreading<em> this episode…"

Evie mimicked the hunched shoulders and deep scowl of her friend. "Why are you _dreading_ this episode?"

The two friends were walking side by side down an empty school hallway. Their shoes clicked against the tile, the sound echoing off of the hollow walls. As they were the only pair without classes, they were free to wander at their leisure as the world formed around them for the next adventure.

Mary huffed the bangs from her eyes and straightened out her posture so Evie couldn't make fun of her anymore. "It's just… Renge."

"_Oh_," Evie said, her face visibly souring at the prospect. Her shoulders fell limp. "Do we have to?"

"Well, yeah—"

"But she's so annoying!" Evie whined as they rounded the corner.

Mary rolled her eyes and smiled. "She's a side character, so we'll barely see her. We'll just have to endure her introduction centered installment… hey…"

"What?" Evie was still surrounded by a cloud of gloom as she imagined meeting the impulsive, mouse-voiced, hyperactive manager-to-be of the Host Club.

Her feet stopped. Evie stopped in turn to look back at her friend. "If you're the Haruhi… is she going to fall in love with you?"

"What?! I'm not dressing like a guy, you idiot!" A fist came crashing down on Mary's head, instantly creating a large lump.

"Ow!" Mary slapped Evie's attacking hands away. She rubbed her head, and the swelling immediately died. "Okay, okay! …But if you play your cards right—"

"Mary, I _swear_—"

"Hey!"

Evie's threat went unfinished. Both girls turned to owlishly peer down the corridor where the commanding voice was echoing from. Two dark figures were standing with their arms crossed at the end, visible security badges on their chest fronts.

One of the men pointed at them. "Students are supposed to be in their classrooms!"

"Where are your hall passes and uniforms?" The second asked. They fell into step as they approached them.

Mary and Evie looked down at their clothes and then back up at each other simultaneously. Mary smirked. "I guess we forgot about disguising in those yellow tents they call dresses."

"Forget it! Run!" Evie commanded, grabbing Mary's elbow and yanking her along as she sprinted away.

"Hey!"

"Come back here!"

"Evie!" Mary tried to pry her friend's hand off of her arm. "You know I hate running!"

"Deal!" Evie said, quickly rounding the bend.

"Eek!" Mary's shoes had little traction and caused her to slide across the smooth floors. With Evie still plowing ahead and firmly attached to her forearm, she was pulled along like she was tethered to a speed boat.

Evie watched the signs whirring by over their heads, trying to read them as they rapidly passed them by. Her eyes lit up when she saw the last. "Aha! Quick!"

The door opened, and the two dashed inside and twisted the knob. The door quietly clicked shut. The girls took a deep breath and listened as the school's security passed them by. They both breathed a sigh of relief.

Mary squinted in the dark. She let out a grumble of annoyance. "Jeez, even their janitor's closets are huge. Look at the locker space in here!"

"No kidding…" Evie felt around for a light switch. Unable to find one, she sunk to the floor and sat. The room had no windows, so the light was limited to what was coming from the hall. Her eyes slowly started to adjust to take in the class-sized room filled with neatly organized tools and cleansers. "I guess we better start wearing those dresses if we don't want that to happen again."

"Fine…" Mary rummaged around in the shoulder bag at her hip and produced the trusty Flashmatic. She pointed it at herself. "If I have to wear that hideous bag, then I'm wearing it my way."

Evie watched through the dim as the static cleared away from Mary. The yellow dress was the same, but the skirt was short, and it was sleeveless. Only the white collar and tie remained untouched. The high white socks and clunky brown shoes completed the look as Mary spun to show off her work.

"You're so stubborn!" Evie giggled as the Flashmatic was handed to her. But instead of scolding her friend for her silly fashion choices, she mimicked her this time with the same look, but Evie's skirt was just slightly longer. She also kept the white shirt cuffs.

"Ooo, nice touch!" Mary complimented. She soon had the same cuffs on her own wrists.

The great bells outside chimed the end of the school day. In seconds, the hallway just outside was swarmed with noisy, chatting students. Evie pressed her ear to the door to hear their muffled hollers and laughs. She nodded. "Okay, let's get out of here!"

"Are you kidding? I'm still catching my breath from all that running," Mary said. She was in no hurry to meet Renge.

"Come on!" Evie carefully opened the door and stepped out.

"We can't _all_ be pro athletes…" Mary huffed as she followed suit and left the broom room behind.

It wasn't difficult, and it almost felt like routine already, as the girls followed the flock of giggles to the staircase and trotted up. Mary and Evie's ponytails swished back and forth in rhythm as they lingered behind the large groups gushing about the hosts.

"I can't wait to see what the theme today is!"

"It feels like I haven't seen Hikaru and Kaoru in forever, but it's only been a day!"

"Honey's outfits are always so cute!"

Mary held her hands behind her neck. She beckoned her head. "Two 'o clock."

Evie's head whipped to the left.

"Other two 'o clock."

"Oh!" Evie said, spying a girl with a massive pink bow in her honey colored hair just up ahead. She was just outside of Music Room #3, cautiously peering past the girls filing through.

"What _was_ the theme in this episode? Men who cry?" Mary off-handedly asked.

"You know… she looks kind of nice," Evie observed as they drew closer. Renge disappeared inside after the last of the girls, and the Flashmatic wielding pair soon followed after her.

"You know how she is," Mary argued in a whisper. It was hardly necessary – the raucous screams of joy bouncing off of the club room walls around them drowned out their quiet conversation.

Evie flattened her skirt and strode forward. "I'm sure she's not that bad! Let's go say hello!"

Mary grumbled something about being so cheery, but she trailed after her friend past one of the adjoining room dividers. Renge's shrill voice was already making quite a fuss.

"You're incompetent! You're a commoner! You're _disgusting!_"

Mary let out a laugh at hearing one of her favorite strings of insults. "That must be our cue!"

The duo came upon a silent room. Tamaki's stabbed remains were twitching on the floor, and everyone's eyes were on Kyoya who had an unstable girl latched to his waist. After a long, awkward pause, the twins were the first to see Evie and Mary in the doorway.

"You two again?" The twins asked in unison. They crossed their arms. "There's no way you saw this coming."

"No, we're here for 'the phony,'" Mary sarcastically replied.

"Um… It's Renge, right?" Evie piped up.

* * *

><p>The club activities died down for the day (or rather, were cut short), the girls were gone, and the room was silently brooding over the information they had just received.<p>

"Adoring flowers?" Honey's own flowers floated above his head as he blinked blankly at her.

"Rescuing injured kittens?" Hikaru asked, his head twisted comically in question.

"Asking for nothing in return?!" Kaoru persisted at his twin's side.

"I don't know about you guys, but I want a copy of Uki-Doki Memorial," Mary commented from behind the sofa.

"He's perfect! He's dreamy! My prince charming! Kyoya~!" Renge ranted, rising from her interrogation seat and spinning in circles around the room.

"It's obvious she's deluded herself into thinking I'm the character from her video game," Kyoya said, folding his arms across his torso.

"And you're not engaged?" Hikaru asked.

"Of course not," Kyoya finished with a bright gleam from his glasses.

Renge flung herself back onto the sofa and rested her hands in her lap, excitedly looking over the hosts seated across from her. Except for Tamaki, who was in a dark corner cloud of his own still in recovery. She smiled sweetly at them. "What a business! With my expertise, this Host Club will surely blossom for my dear Kyoya~ I've decided to become your new manager!"

"Wha…?" The twins tilted their heads.

"Renge, I'm sure you have good intentions, but I'm not sure that it's all very necessary," Evie began to enact the plan to see if they could get Renge out of the picture with persuasion. Then, the rest of the series would be free from powerful motors, screaming, moe, and angst drive.

Mary's eyes were sparking with a new light. It was not a good one.

"I'll work you guys into shape!" Renge stood with determination. She giggled and waved. "See you tomorrow, Kyoya, my love!"

"What just happened?" Kaoru turned to his brother who mirrored his shrug.

"Be nice to her; she's the daughter of a very important Ootori family client," Kyoya said, already flipping open his laptop to go over the day's accounts.

There was a universal groan as the scene faded, leaving only Mary and Evie behind as the time lapsed. The girls found themselves in a white space. The world was slowly drawn in line by line to recreate the room for the next day.

"Why didn't you back me up?" Evie turned to Mary. "I was completely ignored!"

Mary was silent. Evie was going ignored once again.

Evie stomped her foot, finding slick tile back underneath it. "Hey! Hello? Mary, what's with you?"

Her smile gradually grew into a wide grin. "This… is…"

"Perfect!" Tamaki stated at the same time as Mary.

"What?" Evie sighed, spinning around to face an equally insane blond.

"But boss!" Hikaru complained.

"She's crazy!" Kaoru agreed.

"And scary…" Honey added in, squishing Usa-chan.

Tamaki quickly crossed over and threw an arm around a startled Evie. "Don't you see, gentlemen? This is the perfect opportunity for Evie to socialize! Another girl will surely bring her fulfillment!"

"And what does that make me?" Mary finally snapped out of her reveries to complain.

"Guess you're not girl enough," Hikaru and Kaoru snickered as Mary glared at them with steaming ears.

"I'm afraid we haven't the time to waste on their increasing debts," Kyoya said, shifting the pages in his notebook. He tore out a slip.

"Increasing?" Evie squeaked as she tried to wriggle away from Tamaki's tightening embrace.

Mary squinted at the figures Kyoya held out for her to see. She snatched the paper with wide eyes. "What, do you charge us every time we walk in the door?!"

"Good morning, everybody!" All eyes turned to the door where Renge entered with a pouch of cookies and a smile. "You'll be happy to know that your new manager Renge has made you a batch of cookies~!"

"How effeminate! How ladylike!" Tamaki spun poor Evie around in circles in his excitement. "Our Evie will be willingly wearing pink and pearls in no time!"

"Back off, creepy, I didn't make these for you," and with one swift movement, Renge threw Tamaki from Evie and back into his sad corner. She helped dust off the shocked brunette's uniform muttering: "Phony prince…"

It wasn't long before she had spotted Kyoya and was gushing over him. After Mori tried to take one of the burnt cookies away from Honey and the following chaos that ensued with a Medusa Renge, the sack of cookies wound up in Evie's possession. Mary noticed this and snatched them from her, throwing them in the general direction of Tamaki and soundly striking him over the head with them.

"Why did you…?" Evie wondered, hands still open where the cookies used to be.

"Whatever you do, stay away from the cookies," Mary wiped the sweat off her brow, glad to avoid the sexual harassment scene with her friend.

Evie huffed and crossed her arms, watching Renge calm down and start to observe everyone across the room. "Mary, you were right! She's driving me crazy!"

"Lukewarm!" Renge declared, pointing at them all.

In the following pause as the chaos died down, Evie was surprised not to find Mary next to her. Instead, the blonde was marching straight up to Renge, shoulders squared. The beige messenger bag was thrust into Evie's possession.

Evie clenched her fist in victory. _Yeah, Mary! Give her a piece of your mind!_

"Hey, Otaku!" Mary called out.

Punching the air, Evie could hardly contain her excitement. _It's coming! Mary's going to totally flip… her…_ "What?!"

Mary took both of Renge's hands in her own, eyes shining so dramatically it could only rival Tamaki's flare. She took a deep breath and said: "Renge, I couldn't agree with you more!"

"What?!" Evie shrilled again.

"You do? Oh, I'm so glad someone with some culture understands!" Renge gasped, clutching Mary's hands tighter. "They're completely imbalanced."

"Totally not up to par with their character types," Mary nodded vigorously. "They're like a sad dating sim."

Everyone was watching with confusion, except Evie whose jaw was dropped to the floor in utter horror at what she was watching. _They were getting along!?_

"Ah, don't you just love those ice cold mysterious types?!" Renge sighed, throwing a dramatic hand over her heart.

"I always go for the comic relief sweethearts~!" Mary said with a similar dramatic hand going over her forehead.

"What the actual h-e-double hockey sticks is going on?" Evie's eye twitched dangerously. The twins eyed her refusal to curse with sly amusement.

"Lukewarm!" Mary joined arms with Renge.

"You're all so disappointing! Except you, Kyoya; you're perfect just the way you are~" Renge giggled girlishly.

"We're going to whip you into shape!" Mary proclaimed. The two girls' shadowy figures seemed to grow and loom over everyone else.

"Was this the girl bonding time you were thinking of, boss?" The twins snidely nudged Tamaki.

He promptly fell over.

Coming to her senses, Evie scrambled to open the bag that was still in her arms. Her palm wrapped around the Flashmatic, and she found the pause button and hit it without a second thought just as the halfway point of the show started to thrum.

"Hey! What gives?" Mary asked, running up to meet Evie where she stood.

"What gives?! What's with the mood swing, crazy!?" Evie held the Flashmatic away from her friend, hugging it tight. "I thought you didn't like Renge!"

"I didn't!" Mary shook her head. She placed a fist in her palm with a slap. "But then I realized! _Renge is the fangirl of this very show._ This whole episode is a fanfiction! We can dream up any scenario we choose and put the hosts in it. What an opportunity!"

Evie was still doubtful. She shook her brown head. "N-No! You know how things wind up – everyone gives up, and it's all forgotten…"

Mary gave Evie a sound punch in the shoulder. "Exactly! We've got a consequence free playground! Now let's _go!_ This is gonna be so good!"

With a huff, Evie pressed the play button as she tried to ignore her giddily bouncing comrade. They found themselves out in the courtyard where the American camera crew was busily rushing to and fro to film the various scenes. The sun was bright, but rain machines and green screens made a stormy afternoon for Tamaki's scene in the rain.

"Eee!" Mary squealed, jumping away from Evie and running to where Renge was speaking with a director. "Hey, Renge! Don't start without me~!"

Evie sighed, a small frown forming on her lips. She replaced the Flashmatic in the bag and carefully pulled it closed and around her shoulders. From a distance, she could see silly emoticons forming over Renge and Mary's heads as they jabbered about possible scenarios.

"Hey," Kaoru appeared on her right, making her jump. "What are you pouting for?"

"Yeah, you weren't casted in this stupid movie," Hikaru was now on her left, holding a towel around his neck.

Evie recalled the basketball scene they had to perform, which explained their swanky jerseys. She gave them a small, unconvincing smile. "Yeah, I'm… pretty lucky, I guess!"

"Evie! Evie!"

All three turned to see Tamaki running up with a towel wrapped around his wet hair. He shook like a dog and patted his face down. He was beaming. "Did you see me? Did you see my lonely prince scene? I thought the rain was a nice touch~"

"You were great… senpai!" Evie had to furiously think how to address him because she had heard Mary once say that names were treated differently in Japan. She remembered that Haruhi always called him 'senpai,' so it was safe, right? _Why was he blushing?!_

"You think so?" Tamaki smiled impossibly wider. The twins were rolling their eyes, hands sassily on their hips. "I think it's a fun character. I'd really like to explore more of it."

"Hey, Evie! Come here a minute!" Mary had a hand to her mouth to call over the distance.

"Well, don't change too much," Evie gave his shoulder a pat as she passed him by. She ran the rest of the way, feeling a pit in her stomach when Renge turned to face her next to Mary. Both were wearing mischievous smiles. "Uh… you called?"

"We need you to star in the next segment!" Mary clapped her hands in excitement.

"Huh?" Evie despaired.

Renge was quick to explain, holding a script in her fists. "You're the faceless fill in for all of the girls to fantasize themselves as! You need to be boring and monotone so the girls can easily picture themselves in your shoes!"

"What?" Evie repeated her exasperation.

Mary gave her a knowing nudge. "See, you're going to be the damsel in distress, running through a rain soaked forest. The bad boys Mori and Honey are going to defend you from stereotyped gangsters!"

Evie's brow furrowed and tears unexpectedly pricked her eyes. "No! No, I'm not!"

Her shout caught the attention of the hosts who looked on with wary concern. The director took off his headphones in confusion. Mary and Renge blinked.

Evie stood her ground, pointing an angry finger at her friend. "You're taking this too far! Stereotypes can be fun, but there's a line when it becomes cheap and tasteless. I know you write real stories, Mary, so why are you wasting your time with crap like this?!"

"I…" Mary shook her head, surprised that Evie had yelled. Evie never yelled. Especially never at her. Perhaps she _had _gone too far.

"Never mind. This stopped being fun at the start," Evie took quick steps away, grappling with the hook of the bag. She just wanted all of this frivolous stuff to be over with.

"Hey, hold it!" Mary ran after her.

Behind them, the camera clicked and Kyoya looked to Renge. "Done! If that's a wrap, I have to say I'm quite impressed. This short movie you've assembled is sure to sell well with our guests."

"You really think so?!" Renge said. She was so excited by his feedback that she accidentally crushed her roll of script. Kyoya's praise was enough of a distraction for her to forget all about the scene she had planned for Evie.

"Evie, hey!" Mary rushed to catch up. "You know I don't like to run!"

Evie came to a quick halt. They were a fair enough distance from the commotion going on in the courtyard around the back of a building. Set tools, boom mics, and ladders for set-up were propped against the stone wall.

Mary awkwardly stopped jogging and bit her lip. She held her own forearm. "If you didn't want to be in the movie, you could've just said so…"

Evie let out a sad sigh, turning around to face Mary. "I didn't mean to get so mad all of the sudden. I guess it just kind of bottled up and spilled out like that one time with that shaken can of soda on your carpet."

Mary chuckled at the memory. She scratched the back of her head, starting to know what this was really about. "Look… I didn't mean to ignore you like that. I was dumb, and I got caught up in silly things. I'm glad you called me out on it."

"Then… you're welcome," Evie smiled and shrugged. "I guess I was kind of jealous of being left out. I didn't really get the stuff you were talking about with Renge. It… it's just not my thing, I guess."

Though she wasn't very good with verbalizing her thoughts, Mary frowned. "Evie… you're my best friend… I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

Evie gripped the shoulder strap of the messenger bag. She looked curiously at Mary's outstretched hand.

Mary smiled wide. "Let's move on! Okay?"

Realizing she was reaching her hand out for the Flashmatic, Evie nodded. "Yeah!"

As Evie brought the paper to her nose to count down to the right code to plug in, Mary punched in the numbers she read off into the back panel. A pair of footsteps were fast approaching from behind.

The girls whirled around to see the two guys who Renge had chosen in the real episode to play gangsters. One of them wound up pushing her away, and many more clichés had erupted from then on. Mary and Evie looked at each other before catching the attention of the boys.

"Sup?" One nodded as they casually passed them by.

They both gave a friendly wave, but they couldn't contain their laughter soon after they were gone. Evie held a hand over mouth as Mary slapped her shoulder. "Glad we didn't try to hire those poor guys. The drama!"

Evie rolled her eyes. "Let's get out of here before you decide they'll make good extras in the rain scene."

"Okay, okay!" Mary pointed the Flashmatic at the ground with both hands. A goofy smirk appeared on her face. "Besides, the next episode is going to be way better than these clichés."

Before Evie could guess or remember, Mary had pulled the trigger and the portal appeared underneath their feet. They fell down into the whirlwind of colors and away from the character typing shenanigans.


	12. The Twins Fight!

You guys totally hate me now, and I don't blame you hahahahahhaha nope. Seriously, the last time I updated was in February, and that's a long hiatus for me. So! New update again today! If you're just coming back, read the chapter before this one, okay? :)

Much much love to switchpersonalities for a review! Seriously, you're awesome; I was so sure everyone would give up on me from the hiatus. Thanks for the support!

Hopefully, this chapter is where things get more interesting as we break away from the usual story's plot we've been painfully following so close to.

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><p><strong>The Twins Fight!<strong>

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><p>It was another bright, blue-skied day in the world of <em>Ouran High School Host Club<em>. In fact, the weather was the kind that only moved the plot, so it was practically always sunny. No need to inconvenience the story with wet weather.

Evie wondered at the perfect expanse overhead. _Not even a stray cloud._ She marveled how she didn't feel tired yet. Hadn't days passed? How long had they been in here? Forget about being late for dinner back home – her parents probably had an amber alert out for her!

"—though I don't really know. What could they possibly want from us, you know? We don't have a house they want to get into or anything…" Mary had a hand to her chin as she paced back and forth before Music Room #3. She suddenly stopped and turned to her friend, putting her hands on her hips in annoyance. "Hey! Are you just zoning over there? We've gotta brainstorm!"

"Hm?" Evie reluctantly pulled her eyes away from the window where she could see the large clock tower through the leafy trees.

Mary slapped a hand over her face and sighed. "The twins, remember?"

"Oh! Right!" Evie stood straighter. "They're supposed to fight this episode, right?"

"Yeah, but we have to figure out how to get them to start bickering. We're not Haruhi, so it's going to be difficult," Mary went back to tapping her chin and pacing.

Evie wrinkled her nose in confusion, running a hand through her ponytail. "Um… but why? Won't it be nice if they don't have to fight at all? It was all a trick anyways."

Mary kicked up her heels in an abrupt halt. Giving Evie an incredulous look, she said: "But how else are they going to dye their hair?"

"…" Evie blinked a few times before it registered, and she smirked. "You _do_ have a weakness for gingers. And you're a sucker for eye candy!"

"I have a sweet tooth…" Mary innocently remarked, unable to hide the tinge of pink in her cheeks. She shrugged off her friend's giggles and took a deep breath, gripping the door handle. "I guess we're just going to have to wing it and see what happens. You in?"

"Of course!" Evie skipped forward and took the twin handle next to Mary's. "Besides, blue's one of my favorite colors."

Mary laughed, and they pushed in the doors together. Instead of the girlish laughter and light conversation, Evie and Mary were bombarded with a line of disappointed girls being ushered out the same door they were entering from. They moved to the sides so the whining women could pass.

"I hope they'll be okay!" One of the girls cried, holding a tissue to her eyes.

"I've never seen them like this before…" a girl with short, bobbed hair sighed with worry.

"I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding," a brunette with two matching purple bows smiled in encouragement. "They'll be best friends by tomorrow!"

Mary and Evie looked to each other across the crowd. They recognized the three as part of the twins' group of regular guests. _Could it be…?_

"Ah, just in time!" Kyoya's unnerving, cheery voice announced.

Wary and slightly terrified, the girls stiffly swiveled their necks to see what the trouble was within the Host Club. Honey was holding Usa-chan close to his neck tie, a worried look on his baby face. Mori had his hands in his pockets, watching where the bickering was. What was more surprising than Kyoya's notebook being closed was Tamaki standing next to him with his arms crossed looking troubled. Evie gulped as Kyoya's glasses gleamed, and Mary held her breath when Tamaki followed his best friend's line of sight and spotted them slowly walking to meet in the center of the room.

_"Sex pixie!"_

_"Sicko!"_

Kyoya adjusted his glasses on his nose, watching the girls with cold suspicion. "Here come the culprits."

"Good. Maybe you two can explain," Tamaki said softly in greeting, almost appearing scared to look at the commotion by the windows. His purple eyes blinked wide with his confusion. Though his mood was strange, it was nice not to have to ward off his crazy advances and gushing compliments. "Did you know about this?"

Mary put on a brave face and smoothed the yellow skirt of her altered uniform. "Well, we knew there was a possibility this would happen, but I don't know what they could be fighting about. I mean, there was no way we could have started the chain reaction since we weren't even he—"

Hikaru shouted over their conversation, successfully making both girls nearly fall flat. "You're crazy! Mary's an unstable narcissist!"

"Evie looks like a tanuki!" Kaoru retaliated.

"You take that back!"

"You get a brain!"

"Us?!" Evie shrieked, hands going over her mouth in surprise. One could have heard a pin drop if it wasn't for the twins' constant shouting. She tried to read her friend's face, but Mary was just as blankly shocked as she was.

Mary shook her head at long last, letting out an uneasy laugh. She pushed a hand through her bangs. "No, no, no, no, no – this isn't…! But… We didn't…!"

"Why?!" Evie continued to panic, grabbing Mary's shoulders and shaking her soundly. "Why is this happening?!"

"THAT'S IT! We're through!" Hikaru and Kaoru yelled, eyes shining dangerously at each other in their rage. They quickly stormed past the others to get to the door, doing their best to ignore each other on the way.

"W-Wait! You can't—!" Evie reached out, but she wasn't heeded.

"Hold up!" Mary tried, but she too was passed by.

"Hika-chan! Kao-chan!" Honey called out, too, but each twin took a door and slammed it as hard as he could. The chandeliers over their heads shook from the vibrations, tinkling the crystals in the tense silence.

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><p>"It just doesn't make sense…" Mary rubbed her temples, elbows propped up on the tea table.<p>

Evie sunk until her chin was resting atop her arms across from Mary, her eyes drooping sadly. "What's their motivation? We didn't play the guessing game, we didn't tell them apart, and we don't have a house they want to see!" She angrily ruffled her hair, freeing it from its pony tail so it was falling around her shoulders. "What could it be?!"

"If this isn't sorted out soon, any financial accountabilities will be covered by the pair of you – since you're responsible for the loss of the twins," Kyoya reminded as he monotonously typed away on his laptop from the corner.

Mary glowered, but she didn't say anything to retort. Because somehow, he was right. It _was_ their fault. There was no reason for the twins to fight otherwise. _But why make it about them?_

Tamaki sat backwards on a chair, his arms crossed over the back of it as he waited for Evie and Mary to provide answers. Honey kicked his feet back and forth from where he sat on a nearby sofa, and Mori dutifully stood behind him, watching the ceiling with never-ending patience.

"Maybe this has just been coming on for a while now," Tamaki reflected. Curious eyes turned to him from around the room. He held a hand to his chin. "After all, they're siblings, and siblings tend to disagree every now and again. A fight between them could be healthy."

"Still…" Evie mumbled from her hiding place behind her forearms. Her eyes roved over to where Mary was thrumming her fingers. "It's fishy."

"Evie's right," Mary stood with determination. "For now, we'll see where it goes. It's most likely a prank, but we can't be too sure. If it's not over by tomorrow your time, then Evie and I will take care of it."

"You will?" Honey smiled with new hope.

"We will?" Evie tilted her head.

"Come on, Evie! We're skipping ahead," Mary ran to her side to retrieve the bag. Acquiring the Flashmatic, she held her finger over the fast forward arrow. "Hold onto your lunch."

"You know I haven't eaten since that measly banana anyways," Evie clutched her stomach as she stood and stretched.

"Hm, you're right," Mary said, patting her own empty belly. "We'll have to find a snack soon."

"Like fancy tuna?" Evie teased, sticking out her tongue.

Mary rolled her eyes and pressed the button. Lost from the beginning of their strange conversation, the boys' faces blurred as the colors swam by. As she only pressed it once, the action was slower than holding it for speed or skipping scenes entirely. The girls watched as the club room cleared and became a classroom and then a cafeteria.

"Hold it! Stop here!" Evie rapidly tapped Mary's shoulder to alert her.

"Okay, okay!" Mary grumbled, squeezing the play key.

The cafeteria instantly came to life around them. Students buzzed to and fro with trays of impressive foods fit for a king and his court. At first, no one was recognizable among the first years except for one or two regulars to the Host Club. Mary was reflecting how it was sad that they didn't know… really _any_ of the other guy students swarming around them, but Evie was slowly approaching a near empty mahogany made table where a male student sat.

"Kaoru…?" She tentatively asked, not quite able to believe what she was seeing.

"Oh, hello, Evie. Mary, good to see you!" He jovially waved, giving a bit more energy to the latter greeting.

Mary couldn't believe it either. "Kaoru, you're _blond!"_

"In support!" He smiled cheekily, pointing at the light strands spiked above his head. "Would you like to sit with me today? You must be hungry from all of the running around you always do."

"Oh, um…" Mary couldn't help the instant blush from his polite attitude, but she looked to Evie warily. "What about… Evie?"

"Yeah, am I yesterday's news now?" Evie crossed her arms and shifted her weight.

"Evie, sit by me!"

The girls jumped, not having seen the boy sit down a few seats away. The voice was unmistakable, but his fashion made him look like a completely different person.

"Hikaru? You dyed your hair brown!" Evie gasped. Mary wouldn't dare say it was a nice accent to his eyes.

"And?" He asked this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. What with Kaoru's hair choice, it probably should have been. He tapped the seat next to him. "Come on and sit with me away from that obnoxious Kaoru."

"Over here, Mary! I won't let that useless Hikaru bother you," Kaoru beckoned to the seat closest to him.

Mary and Evie blanched. Looking to each other, they nodded and locked arms. The best way to end it was to stand firm. "We're not splitting up!"

Both boys seemed to be annoyed they spoke in sync, letting out irritated sighs and lowering their lids. Hikaru took the initiative first, haughtily waving his spoon around before plunging it into a dessert. "Then Mary will just have to find a seat over here."

"Or Evie will sit over here with us, right, Mary?" Kaoru's voiced raised somewhat, attracting the attention of a few close by peers.

"Why would Evie want to sit with a creep like you?" Hikaru barked.

"I was doing the courteous thing for Mary. By all means, take the tanuki face," Kaoru shrugged.

"Hey!" Evie grumbled.

"Then you have the troll doll; see if I care!" Hikaru failed miserably at keeping his calm.

"Hey!" Mary echoed Evie's retort.

"Don't talk about Mary like that!" Kaoru stood, slamming his hands on the table.

"Then you take back what you said about Evie!" Hikaru demanded, doing the same. The table rattled enough that a few cups were upset, liquid spilling over onto the floor in sticky puddles. The action gave the twin an idea, and his bowl of pudding went flying in Kaoru's direction.

With lightning reflexes, Kaoru shielded himself with his own tray of food. The chocolate splattered, hitting a squealing Mary who was too late to recoil from getting her uniform splotched.

"That's it!" Kaoru hollered.

"This isn't working…" Mary mumbled, Evie nodding in agreement.

"Wow, I've never seen them all together like this!"

"So cool!"

Twirling in the direction of the excited whispers, the pair found the other Host Club members coming through the cafeteria right on cue. Tamaki was in the lead, looking disappointed to find the twins still fighting.

"I was wondering what happened to you two," Tamaki acknowledged the girls first in true gentleman fashion. He put his hands on his hips to express his authority. "And you men! Still fighting over these poor ladies? It's poor showmanship to behave in such a way!"

"Call truce!" Honey waved his peace sign. Mori gave his head a firm pat, silently telling him to quit while he was ahead.

"Not until Kaoru apologizes," Hikaru stuck up his nose.

"No way – you started this whole mess!" Kaoru refused outright.

"Come now," Tamaki stepped between where Mary and Evie still occupied the warzone. He gestured to the brothers sympathetically. "Why can't we agree that they're both lovely, and shake hands?"

"I'm down with that," Evie laughed with a light blush. Really, the twins said so themselves about their host characters – it kind of _was_ a fun fantasy to believe twins could peacefully fawn over the same girl.

"Couldn't we get a good, shirtless mud fight in first?" Mary teased, which only resulted in her getting a sharp elbow jab from Evie. She promptly shut her mouth.

"Yeah, why don't we all agree you're a moron?" Kaoru asked.

"I could say the same for you!" Hikaru said.

Without warning, Kaoru threw his soufflé. It sailed across the table and hit him straight in the face. By 'him,' it was poor Tamaki, as a smirking Hikaru held his school tie to use him as a human shield.

"And _that_ ladies and gentlemen, is my favorite Ouran moment," Mary began a solo slow clap, shaking her head in reverence. "Hallelujah."

"This isn't working! How do we end this?" Evie sighed in exasperation.

The twins were now using anything and everything around them as a projectile, and the air was soon swimming with messy food and cutlery. Mary frowned in thought, but neither of the girls had time to come up with a plan before a whistle sounded.

"Hey! It's those two unregistered girls!" A familiar security guard burst through the door.

His companion, the same as before, was by his side pointing at them. "And they've butchered the academy's uniforms!"

"Eek! Time to run!" Evie hurried in the opposite direction as the guards broke into a sprint to apprehend them.

"Sure! Don't stop the violence! Arrest the dress code violators!" Mary sarcastically shouted back over her shoulder.

"Quick! We've got to skip ahead again!" Evie frantically waved for the Flashmatic that was still gripped in Mary's fist. She had to spit out a lock of hair, having forgotten to put her ponytail up again.

Mary tossed the Flashmatic over as they exited the cafeteria and barreled down the ornate hallway. "Do you think we just have to wait it out?"

"We're going to find out!" Evie said, pressing the button.

Somehow, the girls didn't feel nauseas once again as they travelled through the episode at a slower pace. They finally came to a stop, and Evie let go of the fast forward. She wasn't out of breath, but poor Mary was holding her knees and panting hard.

"Are you okay?" Evie eyed the room they were in, but she wasn't quite sure what she was looking at.

"No more… running…" Mary stood up straight. She took a deep breath and tightened her high pony tail. "We better figure out a way to get those guards off of our backs if we want to have any fun in this show."

Evie silently agreed, still staring ahead. Mary followed her gaze and scrunched her brow in bewilderment. "What on Earth…?"

They stared up at a giant mound of… junk. There were chairs and tables and curtains and desks and vases and sofas all piled up to the ceiling. The two made their way around the monstrosity, having to shimmy inch by inch against the wall in order to reach the other side of the room. By the time they got there, shouting had picked up again.

"Haven't you two gotten tired of this yet?" Tamaki muttered, holding in his rising anxiety over the stressful situation.

It was the club room, covered head to toe with the wreckage of Hikaru and Kaoru's bickering. Yet again, there was not a guest to be seen. The room was poorly lit to increase tension.

"Tired? I'm exhausted!" Hikaru complained, pointing at his brother. "I'd like to see you try living in my shoes! Every day you wake up and see him in the mirror looking back at you!"

"My hair isn't colored like mud! At least I can stomach my own reflection," Kaoru growled. Though the girls had missed Nekozawa's visit from the beginning of the episode, the boys hadn't. Kaoru reached into his shirt and produced Belzenef the curse doll. "You know what? I'm going to write your name on the back of this statue, and you're going to suffer, Hikaru!"

Before he could so much as get the marker out, Evie sprinted forward, got to the floor, and performed a swift side kick that knocked both twins flat. With a quick spring, she was gracefully back on her feet. She clapped her hands from dust she might have picked up on the ground.

Mary sheepishly smiled as everyone gawked at Evie's hidden talent, one that was very similar to Honey's. She shrugged. "It helps that she's not just a fencer, but she's an MMA champion. Her demeanor always catches people off guard." _Until she flips her shit like this._

"If the point was to tick us off - congratulations!" Evie glared down at the boys on the floor staring up at her in fear. With both hands on her hips, her voice was threatening and her entire person seemed to radiate a dark aura. "I have had enough of your insults! You're both selfish and wrong. You two apologize to everyone right now, so Mary and I can rewind and make sure none of this ever has to happen!"

Hikaru and Kaoru blinked at her for a few moments. Mary felt a sick feeling in her stomach as the scene became all too familiar as twin smirks formed on their faces, and they rose around her. They were even back to speaking in unison. "So what you're saying is… you want a happy ending? And you'll open up one of those time portals?"

Evie paled as the twins flipped their hair, joined arms, and crossed their legs in sassy poses that she finally recognized. She yelped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh, no!"

"You…" Mary shook her head, trying to take it all in. The tote had found its way into her possession after Evie's attack, so she reached in and brought out the Flashmatic. "You guys did all of this… just to see us open a portal? What?!"

"Well, we want to go with you," Hikaru said with a sly smirk.

"It's not fair that you two get all of the fun," Kaoru agreed with the same mischievous smile.

Tamaki had face planted the ground in a smoking heap, disbelieving that the twins would go to such lengths and trouble everyone around them. The three hosts behind him had stony faces, unable to say anything.

"I'm so sorry I said such terrible things about you, Kaoru! It was in the script, but I feel like an awful brother!" Hikaru hugged his twin in apology.

"No, it was mostly my idea, Hikaru! I'm sorry for your hair!" Kaoru held his brother in turn.

Evie and Mary blinked stupidly, wondering if their own hair was really so horrible. And instead of receiving apologies for all of the awful things the twins had in their script about _them_, the girls went ignored.

"I should have seen this coming," Mary heavily sighed, throwing a hand to her forehead.

"They only liked us for time travel!" Evie pouted, huffing her hair out of her face.

"So, speaking of which…" the twins began.

"No way," Mary shook her head.

"But after all we went through!"

"Ha!" Mary scoffed.

"No way, guys," Evie was more kind-hearted and let them down more gently than her snide companion. "We don't know what would happen if you followed us in there. What if you ceased to exist entirely? We're the only ones not affected by the Flashmatic's time skips, no matter where we are, so we don't want you getting hurt."

"Boo," Kaoru stuck out his tongue.

"That's no fun," Hikaru added.

"Well, tough!" Mary punched Hikaru in the shoulder, mostly in revenge for all of the jabs he had against her. He rubbed the sore spot and glared down at her. "The tanuki and the troll doll won't let you come along, and that's final. And so?"

Evie pursed her lips in thought, not following where Mary was leading. Mary rolled her eyes, waving her hand. Evie looked down at the bag at her hip. "Oh! Until next time?"

"If we lose money every time you two visit, it's hardly a warm welcome you'll be receiving," Kyoya said, still as calm as ever over his notebook.

"Will you stop your number crunching?!" Mary huffed.

Evie shook her head at her short temper and plugged in the right numbers. To ensure they wouldn't be followed, she aimed the Flashmatic at their feet so they'd instantly fall through like last time. She pulled the trigger.


	13. Grade School Host is the Naughty Type!

Hiatus ended on chapter ten, so start reading at _Attack of the Lady Manager!_ if you haven't seen an update since February! We're finishing this story this month! Woo! BACK TO WORK Kei thx, bai.

Oh, and happy fourth to anyone who celebrates! :)

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><p><strong>The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type!<strong>

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><p>Evie puckered her lips, watching the credits of the previous episode slowly dissipate into nothingness. She swayed on her heels, but she was quick to reach out and stop her friend from pressing another button. "Hold on."<p>

"What?" Mary asked, always sounding annoyed whenever someone interrupted her thoughts. She held the Flashmatic out of Evie's reach in suspicion. "We're skipping to the next episode, yeah?"

"But we haven't seen the beginning intro song yet," Evie said. She casually gathered up her hair over her head, wrapping a hair tie around the fluffy mass. "Aren't you curious?"

Mary had to admit she was. She tapped her foot as the colors started to come in pinks. "Hm… I guess it wouldn't hurt to see how it goes…"

Suddenly: "_Kiss, kiss, fall in love!_" seemed to swirl all around them, leaving them without a choice. The theme song was happening, and it was happening _now_. Mary and Evie instinctively covered their ears as the introduction flashed before their eyes, dragging them unwillingly along with it.

"Ah!" Mary squealed, being pulled away by an unseen force. "Evie!"

"Mary!" Evie panicked, reaching out to grab her friend back, but she was being pulled the opposite way.

"Not me! The Flashmatic!" Mary shouted before she was thrown up, up, and away.

Evie suddenly found herself falling, landing a little shaky on a blank space. She looked up and found her cat plush Fluffy coming straight for her. She yelped and jumped up to catch him, hugging him tight despite her surprise.

"Aaaahh!" Mary's scream grew increasingly louder until she came into view from the black space above. She was holding her skirt down like Madonna as she fell, landing squarely on her butt next to her friend.

"Mary! You okay?" Evie looked down at Mary as the music continued to build up with _'Hey! Hey! Hey!'_

Without warning, the Flashmatic fell down, striking Mary in the head. "OW!" She shouted, but she scooped up the remote and came to her feet. Staring up in irritation, her eyes widened when she caught sight of their page of codes. Mary reached up and snatched it out of the air, glad to have the Flashmatic and the cheat sheet back together again.

"Is this supposed to be funny?" Mary rubbed her aching head as she looked around.

The other hosts suddenly swirled by, taking places around them in turn. Tamaki, Honey, Kyoya, Mori, and the twins spun and fell into the picture around them like they would fit in a frame. Mary and Evie looked on in surprise as the actual lettering from the show briefly appeared in front of them. They turned to the hosts, finding them smiling but virtually free of their personalities as they were controlled by the title screen.

"This is weird…" Evie mumbled, watching Kyoya with a small smile on his face.

"Whose idea was this again?" Mary asked, waving a hand before Tamaki's unblinking face between the two girls.

They both let out surprised yelps as they were suddenly yanked apart again and thrown completely off of the set.

"_I see you come; I watch you go…"_

Evie found herself alone on the colorful background of roses, holding her stuffed orange kitten and staring blankly ahead. Blue skies and butterflies swarmed around her as the lyrics: _"Is this love or hate? We'll see…"_ sang on until she was shrouded in darkness again.

Mary was groping around in the black, cursing under her breath that she lost the Flashmatic again somehow.

"_Inside my dreams, you're all I see!"_

"Drat, where _is_ everybody?!" Mary grouched, suddenly pitching forward. She found a mob of police behind her, and she ran away from them without question as panic bubbled in her chest. "Not you again!"

She lost her footing and went sprawling forward. Evie found her friend and sighed in relief, unaware that the camera was still on her. She reached down and helped Mary to her feet.

"Quick! They're after me!" Mary struggled to continue running.

"Who?"

Mary looked around them and found that they were the only ones around. She shook her head in irritation. "This intro is so trippy, I think it's getting to me… Hold it – are we spinning?"

"_If I have to choose a rose in this garden of romance…" _

Both girls looked up and found indeed they were twirling around, as if a disc was under their feet moving the floor for them. Evie had her cat under her arm, and Mary had her hand on her hip as they stood back to back. Each host in turn was given their familiar, similar displays before the song dictated Evie be given a close up. She gulped.

"_Maybe you're my love!"_

"Yeesh, not again!" Mary complained as she was spun off in another direction. Regaining her balance, she was just in time to catch an ecstatic Honey running for her. As soon as he was back on his feet and Mary was thoroughly dizzy, the twins passed by and each took one of her arms, carrying her off with mischievous grins. "Hey!"

"Oh!" Evie stumbled onto the set in the opposite direction Mary was taken to, finding Kyoya passing her by, offering her his hand as he bowed and disappeared just as fast. She blushed and watched him go. "Aw~!"

Mori hurried behind her, giving her an affectionate hair ruffle that she laughed at. By now, she knew where they were going, and she stood up straight as Tamaki – and surprisingly Mary – came onto the set. Her friend stopped a few feet from where she was flung back into the spotlight, and Tamaki stopped between them. Each girl accepted a rose he offered, one in each hand. _"I'd fall in love with you!"_

After the hosts had gone by (and another trillion butterflies and roses), Evie was given the spotlight again. She found herself looking out at her favorite view so far – out the window at the clock tower. It was taken away, and she found Mary running up to her and tackling her.

"Finally, the big finale!" Mary sighed in relief, taking a firm stance next to her friend. Evie nodded, much happier about how the theme was going than she was.

"_Hey, hey!"_

The hosts were back again in the original shot they entered in. This time around, Mary and Evie smiled and stood still. _"Maybe you're my love!"_

The world was ripped out from under them, and the girls found themselves in Ouran Academy's elite stone courtyard. Evie landed softly in the grass, but Mary went sprawling out across the gravel walk.

"Ugh…" Mary rubbed the little pebbles off of her elbows. She slapped her legs with finality. "Well! That was fun."

"It was!" Evie grinned, clapping her hands in joy.

Mary almost said she was being sarcastic, but she forgot about it when she saw their Ouran messenger bag in the grass nearby. She ran to it and fell to her knees.

Evie watched her digging through it, biting her lip. "Is everything there?"

Mary breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled out the Flashmatic and the codes. "Yeah… and your pajama clothes are here, and so is—"

"Fluffy!" Evie squealed, grabbing him from the bag and hugging him tight. She stroked his head fondly. "I nearly forgot he was in here…"

"Can't blame you – we've been pretty distracted," Mary reloaded the bag and slung it over her shoulder. She freed her hair from its ponytail and smoothed it out around her shoulders. She looked to her friend. "So what now?"

"I'm not sure…" Evie pondered. "What episode is this?"

"If I'm not mistaken… it's about that bratty middle school boy," Mary said, patting the grass from her dress and rising.

"Hm…" Evie hummed from where she sat in the grass. "What do we do then? He goes to the hosts on his own accord, right?"

"Yeah, there's really nothing for us here," Mary admitted. Remembering the police officers chasing after her in the theme song with their clubs and badges, she paled considerably. "Maybe that should be our first order of business… getting registered."

"Registered?" Evie asked. Her eyes lit up, and she shot to her feet. "Here?!"

"Of course here! No, I was talking about Lobelia's," Mary teased. She adjusted the bag's strap around her shoulder and looked towards the giant double doors of the entrance. "I don't know how easy it's going to be…"

"I can make it easy!" Evie bragged, already heading off.

Mary was so startled by her confidence that it took her a minute to laugh. "Hey, Evie!"

"Yeah?"

"Entrance is that way," Mary pointed over her shoulder.

Evie whirled around, marching off in the correct direction. "I knew that! Just… exercising."

"Sure…"

"Shut up!" Evie chased her friend across the empty school yard and into the reception hall.

* * *

><p>"So… let me get this straight…"<p>

Mary and Evie smiled politely across the desk, hands folded in their laps and ankles crossed in proper etiquette. They used the Flashmatic to wear formal skirts and blouses instead of the botched girls' uniforms they had been cavorting about in.

The man held his glasses as he looked at the screen in front of him. "Late enrollment? There are a few fees along with tuition costs, and you'll have to test in, too. We also have a program where students test into their levels, so no student is hindered or left behind. Not to mention I'll need your parents present to sign all of the appropriate forms…"

It was obvious he was rambling to deter them. In all honesty, Mary thought they looked ridiculous just waltzing in with nothing to their names… not even their names! Since they didn't have any kind of records in this world, she had no idea how Evie was planning on getting them in without issues of any kind.

"Do you have a list of the forms we'll need?" Evie asked, sitting forward somewhat to see his computer.

The man scooted his chair back and ran a hand through his dark hair. The bags under his eyes made him look all the less amused. "I'll have to check with the—"

"And that'll be enough," Evie said, whipping out the Flashmatic she had hidden under her sleeve. The world around them stopped.

Mary quickly stood in surprise. She called to her friend in a harsh whisper as Evie went behind his desk and took his mouse. "Evie! What are you doing?!"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked, clicking rapidly away. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as her eyes scanned the different pages. "Now we have all the time we need to fabricate our forms on his own computer. He can't argue with what's on his screen, right?"

"You're a genius!" Mary clapped, hurrying behind the desk to see what her friend was up to. She pointed at the screen. "There, we'll need to fill those out! Can my name be Mary Agatha Christie?"

"Why, of course, Miss Christie!" Evie laughed, typing in the name. It wasn't long before Mary was a registered student, and the pages were saved, sent, and even printed out. Evie went back to the computer as Mary giggled over all of her documents. "Hm… what should my name be?"

"You don't have to change it if you don't want to," Mary said. "Ha, ha! Mary Christie…"

"But see! It's fun," Evie whined.

"Then how about you be…" Mary him and hawed about her answer, clicking her tongue with her feet propped up on the poor, frozen man's desk. "Evalyn Reese Witherspoon?"

"Ooo, okay!" Evie agreed, typing in her fictitious name. She went through the same process as she had done with Mary, and her pages were sent to the printer. She giddily hopped up and down in anticipation as each important document came rolling out hot off the press. She gathered up the warm pages with glee. "Wee~! Evie Witherspoon is enrolled!"

"Don't forget to hack the financial records, so we don't have to pay an arm and a leg to get in," Mary reminded.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks!" Evie nodded. It wasn't difficult once again. Just a simple process of filling out digital paper work and coming up with false numbers of accounts and credit cards that didn't exist to get approval. She felt seedy doing it, but Evie had to remind herself that none of this would matter anyways.

"Come on and sit down!" Mary jerked her head towards her chair. "We've gotta play this nice and cool."

"Yeah, yeah," Evie said, jumping back into her seat. She struggled to control her smile while Mary took a deep breath and hit the play button.

"Um…" the man shook his head, looking somewhat confused to suddenly spot all of the papers on his previously spotless desk.

"I asked what other documents we would need to enroll?" Evie batted her eyes innocently.

The administrator of admissions gawked at the papers and double checked his computer. He held a hand over his mouth in dumb shock as he read all of the appropriate additions. "You're… you're both…"

"Oh, did they finally come through then? You have all of the necessary paper work and finances?" Mary asked, finding it was more difficult than she thought it would be to hold in her laughter. It was all she could do to stop the silly smile from spreading across her face as she stood. "Then should we collect our uniforms?"

He quickly rose to his feet, nodding and smiling. "Of course, Miss Christie! A thousand pardons for the wait, and my apologies that the head master couldn't be here to see you both on arrival. It seems he was scheduled incorrectly, and he's at a council meeting."

"No worries, sir," Evie chided as she offered her hand, and he bowed to each girl in turn. "Thank you for all of your help."

"Oh, just a moment!" The gentleman held up a hand before they could escape. They exchanged a worried look before putting on their phony, plastic smiles. He tapped a button on his phone and hurried to meet them at the door. "You both need to test into your classes to see if you're all up to par. We can get you set up in an empty classroom right now. I'll escort you."

"Sir?" A young woman with a bun on her head and in business apparel appeared outside. Apparently, she was a secretary to this secretary.

"Miss Nagishima!" He smiled at her. "Yes, if you could get two entry test packets for these new, young students of Ouran Academy?"

"Of course!" She nodded, hurrying off.

"Right this way, ladies!" The man held the door for them both.

Evie and Mary smiled at him as they passed through. Mary elbowed her friend in the side. "Testing? I didn't agree to a test!"

"I'm sure it'll be easy," Evie waved off her worries. "Besides, it sounds kind of fun to see what kinds of things they learn here!"

Mary grumbled and moodily crossed her arms. They were led along a side hallway before they found a suitable classroom. Miss Nagishima soon reappeared and set up two testing stations a fair distance from each other. The man wished them luck and left.

Miss Nagishima smiled as the girls took their seats, Evie carefully pushing out her chair and Mary falling into hers with a grunt of irritation. "The test is a cursory sample of your current knowledge, used to determine your grade levels, so we can place you in classes suited to your needs! I'll be overseeing the hour exam. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Evie nodded in excitement. Mary just picked up her pencil and grunted again.

"Then you may open your packets," she jovially sat down and folded her hands in wait.

Evie got to work right away, nearly pressing her nose to the paper as she concentrated and filled out answers. Mary finally felt some anxiety as she looked over her own test packet. She had two options. She could fill this out by doing her best. _Or…_

Mary smiled as she quickly went through her test. Evie gave her friend a sideways glance, watching as she sped through the entire thing. She shook her head and went back to the math question she was working on.

"Pencils down, please!"

The hour was up before either girl was prepared. Evie took a deep breath and rolled her wrist. She had finished her test, but she was worried about a few questions. It was all multiple choice, so she was thankful for that much, but her entire test was scribbled with all of her work and thoughts to find answers. Mary sat up, startled, after having fallen asleep on her desk. She shyly wiped away a drool spot before Miss Nagishima took the packet from her.

The woman went to the door, nodding to them. "I'll just run these through the machine, and we'll have your results in a few minutes! Please wait here until then. Thank you."

"Phew! That was intense, eh?" Evie turned to her friend. "How do you think you did?"

"I think my dragon on page three was wicked," Mary snickered, twirling her pencil between her fingers.

"Dragon? You were doodling?!" She sounded scandalized.

Mary rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat, folding her hands behind her head. "It's not like I was going to take this seriously for a New York minute. We're enrolled! The worst they could do is put me in a remedial class, and I'll just never show up. I'm just glad the security guards can't yell at me anymore."

Evie grumbled, shaking her head. "Honestly, they might think you're so helpless, they'll have you kicked out here and now!"

Mary stuck out her tongue.

The door opened, and Miss Nagishima returned. She bowed to them both. "If you'll follow me back to the admissions sector, please?"

Mary and Evie both gulped as they followed her back. Mary carted the tote in her fist at her side, looking around at the walls to avoid the obvious, judging glare from the secretary woman who had looked over her test with the admissions administrator.

"Ah, you're back!" The same man from before greeted. The girls wished he wore a name tag of some kind, as they had no idea who he was. "I hope that wasn't too grueling?"

"Not at all," Evie waved it off.

"Well, here are you individual class schedules we've formulated based on your test results," he went to a table and took up two manila envelopes. Evie and Mary opened them at the same time, reading over the introduction letter. "Congratulations, Miss Witherspoon – you've passed with flying colors! We'd be more than happy to have you in our third year class!"

"Oh, wow!" Evie put a hand to her cheek. "I was so worried, too! I can't believe I aced it!"

"A freshman?!" Mary gasped, looking over her own results. She turned to her friend in horror.

The secretary smiled at her, obviously straining politeness. "Though you are very creative, Miss Christie, we've decided to start you fresh at the beginning. We've also added a few art history classes to your schedule that might… spark your interest."

Evie couldn't help but giggle at her friend. Mary glared at her. "Hey, you brought this on yourself."

Mary rolled her eyes as fare wells were said, and the girls were dismissed to begin classes 'tomorrow.' Once back out in the sunshine, Evie looked to her friend who still looked gloomy. "What is it? Aren't you happy to be in the same year as the twins?"

"Well, yeah… But I'm so jealous!" Mary admitted. "If I wasn't so stubborn, I could've been with you in Honey and Mori's year!"

"Oh, that's right…" Evie said. She had completely forgotten who her fellow classmates were going to be.

"I need cheering up," Mary hung her head with a cloud of misery.

Evie's eyes sparked, and she took the Flashmatic from Mary's side. "I know just the thing! Hold on tight!"

"To what?!" Mary asked, but she was drowned out as they flew ahead to the near end of the episode. They were pulled back to where the show's action was happening, and a dark classroom appeared. Evie hit play and put a finger to her lips, so Mary wouldn't interrupt the scene they crept up on.

The hosts were all gathered in front of them, watching where a spotlight was beaming down on a lone grad piano where a player was just taking his seat.

The room was soon filled with the graceful notes of ringing strings of classical music as Tamaki's hands flew professionally over the keys. Evie sighed with a hand over her heart, not noticing her friend slowly sinking to the floor.

Mary plopped down, eyes shining with tears. To hear him play live. _Right in front of her._ She had always adored the piano, and to see someone so close to her heart doing what he did best… It was all she could do not to faint dead on the spot.

The song ended, and the hosts were back to chattering away about lessons for the naughty type in training. Evie looked down and held a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, that did the trick…" Mary wiped her eyes, still unable to get up off the floor. She held up her hands. "Carry me… Carry me to the next episode, Evie; I can't walk…"

"I've got ya, buddy," Evie rolled her eyes, simultaneously pulling up her friend in support and plugging in the numbers for the next episode.

The portal closed and a small line of smoke rose, but the hosts hadn't seen their new peers enter nor leave Music Room #3 that day.


	14. Jungle Pool SOS!

Sorry, this came a bit late – I unexpectedly got very sick. Ugh. To make up for it being a little late, I decided to add more to it and make it super, extra long. Like, shit. This is _long_. I'm kind of shocked how long this got actually. I just kept going. And I don't know why, but I guess I just had a lot of fun on this particular chapter. So it's crazy compared to what I've been dishing out, and it's rather huge for me in general. Yay?

Thank you so much to switchpersonalities, MarshallAlexandraAnderson, and thewaveringinnocence for the reviews! I'll work extra hard to finish this by my stated deadline, so you won't have to wait for updates. And as always, thanks to Evie who keeps motivating me with excitable text messages! I owe my speediness to her. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Jungle Pool SOS!<strong>

* * *

><p>She took a deep breath, calming the butterflies in her stomach. Her hands wrung together nervously, her fingers twisting the fabric of her skirt. She was glad that the teacher hadn't asked about her butchered uniform, surprised that Mary had convinced her to wear it again despite being handed proper outfits.<p>

"Students, if I may have your attention! Take your seats, please; we have a new student today!" The teacher called out over the crowd of chattering upperclassmen.

Evie shuffled her feet. Chairs squeaked as students found their respective desks, and a hush came over the room. She watched with her heart flying into her throat as the seats filled, leaving only one seat open.

Everyone quieted politely for the introduction. The teacher smiled, presenting Evie at his side. "If you'd all give a warm welcome to our newest transfer, Miss With—"

"Evie!" She quickly interrupted, already regretting her stupid, fake name. She blushed and looked at her shoes after the surprised looks she received. "Just… Evie is fine."

The teacher took it in stride. "Miss Evie, then! Welcome to Class 3-A. I'm sure you'll fit right in and catch up fast! If you'll take a seat, we'll begin today's lessons."

Her feet felt like lead as she passed the curious faces of the people she was now peers with. She went all of the way to the end of the first row, carefully sliding into the vacant chair by the window. The desk creaked slightly as she set down all of the catch-up materials and notebooks given to her. She slung the messenger tote over the back of her chair, as it was agreed that Evie should keep the Flashmatic since she was less likely to abuse it and torture her classmates. Evie nervously glanced to her right.

Honey was rapidly waving to her with both hands as if to get her attention, kicking his legs in excitement from the seat back and across from her. Though the male student behind her was unfamiliar, the one at her side was studying her with shrewd eyes. Mori nodded in greeting.

"I didn't know you were transferring to our school!" Honey whispered, letting out a sweet giggle as he hid behind his friend Takashi when the teacher turned at the noise. "This'll be so fun, Evie-chan! And we'll help you catch up, so you don't get left behind. Isn't this cool, Takashi?"

"Yeah," Mori agreed quietly in his baritone way. His eyes focused on the board where their instructor was scribbling away with the beginnings of a lecture.

Evie bit her lip, opening an empty notebook and clicking her pen. This _was_ cool. She was comforted having people she knew around to support her in Mary's absence. She could have a lot of fun here…

* * *

><p>"Take a seat anywhere you like, Miss Christie."<p>

Mary's introduction was quite different from her friend's. The students continued to chatter in a steady hum even after the teacher called for silence and their attention to present her. She only had a pencil and three pieces of paper – all stolen from Evie's materials. The administrators seemed to be incredibly impressed with Evie, as she was given all sorts of complimentary supplies. Mary was given a pat on the back and a glower with the suggestion to 'try harder.'

She puffed the bangs out of her eyes and began the march to her inevitable seat. After all, Class 1-A was Haruhi's class… that is, before her life was completely screwed over by the dimensional duo. Haruhi wasn't even in this class anymore. Which left an empty seat in the very back of the room.

Mustering all of the dignity she could, Mary sat down and haughtily ignored the boys on either side of her.

Hikaru smirked. "Christie? Your name is _Christie?_"

"Oh, please; it was funny at the time… just an inside joke you don't get," Mary lied with her latter statement, staring down at her blank lined paper as if it was the most interesting and important thing in all the world.

"I didn't know you were going to start school here," Kaoru brought up a half-decent topic.

The girls seated in front of Mary wouldn't stop chuckling and gossiping, so Mary wouldn't have been able to hear the lesson starting anyways. She ignored Hikaru and faced Kaoru. "We thought it could be a change of pace… and your security here wouldn't lay off. Now leave me alone, you two. Aren't you supposed to be learning something?"

"Aren't you?" Hikaru sounded snappier in his response.

She marveled how easy it was to tick him off. Mary grinned and faced the front, carefully starting a few lines down the middle of one of her pages.

Kaoru opened his phone and buzzed through the menus, propping his elbow up on the desk and holding his chin in boredom. "Where's your friend? Didn't she have to test in, too?"

Both twins immediately recognized they hit a nerve as the tip of her pencil snapped. With a huff, Mary shuffled together everything on her desk, left with nothing to do now. She scrunched up her knees onto the desk, letting her feet dangle and her chair lean precariously backwards. "Yeah, she's in her own class."

The Hitachiins exchanged a knowing look. They both leaned towards her condescendingly. Hikaru guessed first. "Tested higher than you, didn't she?"

"Is she in Tono and Kyoya-senpai's class?" Kaoru persisted.

"No…" Mary grumbled, feigning indifference and failing miserably. "She's in 3-A."

"That smart?" Kaoru asked with some interest.

"Wow, you must feel like an idiot," Hikaru smiled.

Mary wondered if this was worth trading those chases with the campus police.

* * *

><p>Evie had to lug the strap of the Ouran crested bag with all of the heavy books in her fist, so it wouldn't dig into her shoulder as she walked. She hurried to keep in step with the energetic skips of Honey and the long strides of Mori as they traversed the hall at the end of the day.<p>

It was hard to ignore the stares now. They had gained in intensity since she had been seen with Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka, and she also seemed to be on familiar and friendly terms with them. Evie was just glad that the obvious, trailing fangirls were the kindest ones out of them all, so she didn't feel like she was being judged or hunted down as she walked with the popular pair.

"What a fun day! Everything felt brand new with a new face in class!" Honey hummed happily, tossing Usa-chan and catching him again with a spin. He proudly marched just ahead of Evie and Mori behind him. He whirled around and walked backwards, so he could talk to them. "Did you have fun, Evie-chan?"

"Yeah!" Evie nodded enthusiastically, hiking up the strap of her bag again. It was difficult to hide the struggle. "I'm a little surprised actually; I had no idea it would be so interesting. Especially the mathematics you guys are in. This segment really came naturally to me!"

"That reminds me of Hika-chan. He's good at math," Honey nodded in understanding.

"Hey," Mori spoke up, startling Evie somewhat. She was always considered tall for her age, but Mori was one of the only people she had met in her life that made her feel short as she had to crane her neck up to look at him. He held out his hand. "That looks heavy."

"Oh!" Evie gasped as he gently took the strap of the bag and unwove it from her. He slung it around his arm and continued to carry both his and Honey's books. "Y-You don't have to… er… Thanks…!"

"Mitsukuni," Mori beckoned forward. "Stairs."

Evie held her breath in worry, but Honey twirled around just in time to merrily hop down the steps before him. He laughed as he waited for Mori and Evie to catch up at the bottom. "That's Takashi; always looking out for me~!"

"Yeah," he allowed a small smile.

"Ooo! Evie-chan, do you want to come to the resort with us?" Honey suddenly changed subjects as his eyes lit, and the flowers around his head twirled with new vitality.

"Resort?" Evie tilted her head.

"We're all going to Kyo-chan's place! His family has a facility, and we're all going on vacation! I'm gonna swim~" he giggled cutely, demonstrating how well he could hold his breath for a few moments. "Will you swim, Evie-chan?"

"Oh, I don't know…" she admitted. She was a little antsy to reunite with Mary, as this was their longest separation since the beginning of the series. Evie felt safer with the Flashmatic, but she would feel more at ease if Mary had that safety net, too.

"Aw!" Honey whined, pulling on her arm and making her bend so he could do so. "But it won't be any fun without you! Bring Mary-chan, too! Yeah?"

Evie blinked at his wide, childish eyes. _How could anyone say no to him?_ Besides, maybe it was a good thing. If it was that jungle episode… maybe she could prevent Honey getting lost in the first place, and things would play out differently. She smiled. "Yeah!"

"Yay~!" Honey leapt up into the air. He hurried away with Mori following after him at a snail's pace. He handed Evie back her bag as they had reached the main doors. Honey waved at her from a distance. "We'll go tell everybody!"

"Okay!" Evie laughed, waving back. "And thank you!"

"Who are you talking to?"

Evie spun around with an excited grin, happy to hear a familiar voice from home. She blanched at her friend's company, her smile wavering nervously. "Mary! We're going on vacation!"

"Great," Mary said, pointing over her shoulder. "It's only been a few hours, and I could use a break from these two."

"That's not very nice," Hikaru snidely remarked, resting his elbow on her blonde head.

"Yeah, and after all of that help we gave you as our new, flunky classmate," Kaoru chuckled next to his brother, sharing a spot above her eye level.

Evie clapped her hands in excitement. "So you guys had fun? That's great!"

"Fun?!" Mary swatted the twins away from her. Hikaru's phone gave off a rock ringtone, so the brother's simultaneously took the call by holding their heads together to listen in. "These monsters teased me for being stupid, _even though I'm at their level_, they drew profanities all over my notebook paper, Kaoru stole my pencil, and Hikaru stuck his gum in my hair!"

"It came out, sheesh," Hikaru rolled his eyes.

"Keep your voice down, grumpy. Can't you see we're on the phone?" Kaoru stuck out his tongue.

"You see?!" Mary seethed, reaching for the bag at Evie's side. "Gimme the Flashmatic – I'm teaching these guys a lesson here and now; I'm stealing their pants and selling them on the internet!"

"Wouldn't you like to see that," Hikaru still managed to tease her as Kaoru nodded at the voice on the other end of the line.

Mary successfully stole the Flashmatic and pointed it like a pistol at the twins who were completely ignoring her.

Evie jumped in front of her, taking hold of the Flashmatic and yanking it out of her grasp. "Mary, calm down! Jeez, you know how they are…"

"You can talk – you've been with Honey and Mori all day," Mary grumped, crossing her arms in defeat. She sighed in envy. "I'd love to be able to watch Honey during class… He's just so cute~!"

"Pedobear…" Hikaru muttered.

"Sure thing!" Kaoru spoke to the cell phone before Mary could retaliate. He put a hand on Mary's head, and his brother did the same to Evie, ruffling her dark hair. "Got 'em right here, boss."

"What? What's going on?" Mary blinked as a limousine sped up, spinning gravel, and came to an abrupt halt at the curb before them. Students were being picked up all around them to go home, but this particular entrance was getting some stares.

"We heard Honey-senpai extended the invitation," Kaoru said, snapping the phone closed and tossing it back to his brother.

"Break's going to be fun this year," Hikaru teased Evie by blowing in her ear. She squeaked and quickly clapped a hand over it.

The tinted front window rolled down, revealing Tamaki wearing a ridiculous lei and sunglasses combination. "They ready? Bring them in."

"Roger!" The twins saluted, and before Evie or Mary could protest, they were physically dragged and thrown into the back of the limousine.

Mary landed in the corner, blushing dark and holding down her fly away skirt. She dodged as Evie was thrown in after her, landing face first in the seat. "Couldn't you be more careful about kidnapping?!"

"Just be thankful for the ride," Hikaru ducked in, putting a hand over Mary's mouth as he took a seat.

Mary pawed at his hand in anger, finally freeing herself and taking a deep breath. "Fine! But we're not wearing any of those swim suits you brought!"

"But how did you know—?" Kaoru was taken aback, nearly clunking his head on the roof as he closed the door. The minute it slammed, the tires squealed, and everyone was lurched back as the car took off at lightning speed.

Evie smoothed out her skirt as she picked herself up off of the floor and gave her ponytail a pat. "Honestly, it's like you guys forget who you're dealing with~"

Mary was so proud of her smooth friend until Evie went to sit. She missed the cushioned seat entirely and landed squarely on her bottom. Everyone stared at her. She decided to stay there.

* * *

><p>"Okay, now it feels like a vacation!" Mary stepped out of the women's changing room with a confident smile. Evie was still playing with the Flashmatic, trying to find a suitable swim suit. Mary's hair was piled on her head, so it was off of her neck in the hot tropical environment. She looked up at the eerie, digital blue sky. Not a pixel out of place. Everything felt so real. <em>The Ootori family never failed to impress…<em>

"Impressive?" Kyoya's voice startled her. Mary turned to find him with a smaller notebook than usual in his palm, jotting down observations as he leaned against a palm tree.

"Very," Mary nodded, walking up to meet him in her brown sandals. She shielded her eyes with her hand, looking out at the surrounding jungles amidst the water park. "This is a great place for people to come to relax on a budget. Unless you picked the price tag, that is."

He took the backhanded compliment in good humor, surprising Mary further. "The Ootori group appreciates your input. We strive to make our clients happy."

_He's definitely good with customer service and the public eye, but I honestly wonder if it drives him crazy sometimes…_ Mary reflected. She could see Honey and Mori playing in the regular pool, so she figured she had some time yet before they had to start keeping an eye out.

"Mary! Mary!" Evie's little voice was coming from the dressing room.

"Coming!" Mary frowned and followed. She came to the door and stopped, leaning against it. "What's up?"

"I… I'm not sure if I'll change after all."

"What?" Mary asked. She crossed her arms. "I did, so you have to! Come on, don't leave me out here by myself."

She made some sort of moan of annoyance, mumbling to herself in the following silence. Mary huffed the bangs from her eyes. "I bet it's not that bad. Come on, let me see!"

"Fine… but don't laugh!" Evie threatened. That was never a good sign. The door knob slowly turned and Evie's head peeked out, her ponytail following her first.

"Well, come on! What are you so worried about?" Mary put her hands on her hips.

"Them," she said, pointing over her shoulder.

The twins were standing there smirking with their arms crossed, wearing their swim trunks already. "You guys ready yet?"

"Will you buzz off? Perverts…" Mary rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but smile as she pulled on the door Evie was holding closed as a shield. "Come on; you said yourself you should know how they are. No one's going to laugh at you!"

Evie muttered something that sounded like 'yeah, right,' and the door was opened. She emerged wearing a green one piece. It had ruffles all along the bottom like a skirt, and it tied in a halter top. Evie had her arms firmly crossed over her chest.

"See! You look great!" Mary encouraged.

"Yeah, Evie, you've got nothing to worry about!" Kaoru waved his hand. "Let's go to the water slide!"

"At least you're not as flat as this one," Hikaru jabbed a thumb at Mary. He looked over her blue and white striped bikini with an emotionless expression. "Disappointing."

Mary fumed, curling her fingers into fists. "Well, you're no hot shot yourself! How dare you comment on a person's body like that?! You should b-be ashamed of yourself…!"

The trio around her wore surprised expressions as Mary's eyes had suddenly filled with tears. Obviously, he had hit a sensitive subject.

"What's going on over here?" Tamaki curiously peered around the corner of the stucco building. As he approached, his face became increasingly redder until he stopped completely at a safe distance. He avoided looking at the girls at all costs.

Mary furiously wiped an arm across her face, embarrassed she had lashed out so easily. Evie finally dropped her arms and frowned as she marched up to her friend. "You wanna try the water slide? Let's go, Mary."

"D-don't you two want to cover up a little…?" Tamaki twitched, still staring away from everyone.

Already spurned, Mary's lip quivered and the water works spilled over. She tried to take a deep breath, but she only succeeded in hiccupping like a baby. She held her hands over her face.

"Now look what you did!" Evie scolded the boys, patting her friend's shuddering back. "You guys are jerks!"

"Me?!" Tamaki was scandalized, holding a hand to his chest like he had been impaled. He saw the state Mary was in, though, and became worried. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

"It was, um…" Kaoru began to explain, but he nervously looked to his twin. Hikaru finally wore a remorseful frown like he got caught red-handed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his hair and looking as far away as possible.

Mary impulsively took a step backwards when she felt another hand on her shoulder. She peeked between her fingers and found Tamaki's violet eyes way too close to her face. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah! I'm fine!" She squeaked and turned away with a sniffle. Tamaki's hand hung limp at being jilted. Mary snatched Evie's wrist and led her away from everyone. "Let's go to the water slide, Evie!"

"Um… maybe we should get a drink first?" Evie hinted, gesturing where Honey and Mori had just exited the pool.

Mary nodded, and the two made the slow walk across the pavement. Evie bit her lip, not knowing where to start. "Are you… okay?"

"Yeah, I was being stupid," Mary snapped, arms rather stiff at her sides as she focused ahead. Her face was a blotchy red that was slowly returning to her usual pallor. "It was just… bottling up."

Evie hummed, knowing that wasn't the right answer. She gave her friend a nudge to let her know to elaborate.

They passed by the open bar, and Mary sighed. She held her arm across her torso insecurely as her voice cracked again. "It's just… they weren't supposed to_ hate_ me, Evie…"

"Well…" she wasn't quite sure what to say to that. She put on a smile anyways. "They have to start out that way, you know? And I'm sure they don't hate you; they just _seem_ mean right now. They must like you enough to tease you so much, right?"

"Yeah, tough love," Mary said, obviously still dour.

Evie understood. The Hitachiin twins were favorite characters of her own, too. It was difficult to receive so much hostility from people you idolized on screen. She gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, but it was hard enough to make Mary cough. "At least I know someone who doesn't have a grumpy bone in his body!"

"Evie-chan! Mary-chan!" Honey came running up to them right on cue. Like he was playing Red Rover, the girls caught him running between them, and he hugged an arm of each. "Yay! You're here~! Have you been swimming yet?"

"Not yet!" Mary smiled, instantly cheered up by his appearance. His bunny printed inner tube was cold with dripping water as it was pressed between the three like a buffer.

Remembering from the real episode, Evie said: "That ring you have makes you look really cute, Honey-senpai!"

Honey smiled impossibly wide, giving her arm an extra squeeze. He was so glad someone noticed. "You really think so~?"

"Totally cute!" Mary pitched in.

Honey let them go and blushed, holding his cheeks and nearly losing his ring. "Aw~! You guys are super cute!"

The girls laughed as they finally reached Mori. He was at a table with a drink in his hand near where Kyoya picked out a lounge chair to relax in as he busied himself with his notebook. Mary was looking like her usual self again.

"Hey, there's a current pool! Do you guys want to come with me~?" Flowers danced around Honey's blond head, making it intensely difficult to refuse him.

"We will, but let's wait a bit," Evie answered smart.

Mary gave his hair a ruffle. "Yeah, don't go by yourself. It can be dangerous without a swimming buddy."

"But I've got Takashi! Right?" He ran up to his cousin and bounced around him happily.

"Yeah," Mori agreed. And with a nod to them both, he took Honey to the current pool to swim around.

"We better keep a close watch on them…" Mary mumbled.

Evie nodded, a hand to her chin as she watched them jump into the water. "If Mori gets out of the water, we've got to be right there for Honey."

"What are you talking about?"

The girls turned to see the twins back again. Hikaru was looking off put, and he avoided eye contact with Mary and vice versa. Kaoru was looking suspicious though. He crossed his arms. "What's going to happen to Honey-senpai?"

"Nothing!" Evie waved her hands, motioning for them to quiet down. "We just don't want him in the current pool alone…"

"That sounds like something's going to happen to him," Hikaru crossed his arms to match his twin.

"Well, as long as we're here to watch over things, everyone will be fine," Mary quipped, finally letting her grudge go. She was terrible at keeping them, and if she expected for things to get better with the twins, it would only take her longer if she was petty about every little thing.

"Ahem!" Tamaki marched up to them, finally back from the changing room area. The girls eyed the two hangers he had in his hand. It was much worse than the yellow jumper Haruhi was forced into wearing. These were flat up smocks. Just shapeless, white cover ups. Tamaki cleared his throat and held them forward again for the two to take. "It's come to my attention that… you're both… Really, you ought to wait until you're married before showing that much skin!"

Mary rolled her eyes that he was still on this, but she smiled and took one gratefully to make things easier. Evie snatched one without hesitation, pulling it over her head in the same second. "Like you read my mind! Thanks, senpai!"

Tamaki remained red; perhaps he was redder. He put a hand to his forehead as casually as he could. "Just looking out for you! That's what daddies do best!"

After pulling the smock over her head, Mary reached and poked Tamaki in the nose. "Hey, Mr. Oppression, women's bodies aren't sexual objects to be covered for the patriarchy. But I appreciate the fact that you care about us regardless… Thanks. For before, too… I'm okay."

And quite suddenly, Tamaki was back to his obnoxious, slightly creepy and narcissistic self. He hollered and hugged Evie and Mary at the same time. "Daddy's so proud!"

"You're squishing me, senpai…" Evie muttered, being stifled and smothered.

"Am I sensing sexual harassment?"

The unmistakable sound of a powerful motor sparked and ignited, a cabana hut being pulled completely in two to reveal Renge with her parasol and black bikini cosplay. Laughing maniacally until the platform clicked into place, Renge hopped off and flipped her honey blonde braid.

"Renge! It's been a while!" Mary greeted, able to wave to her, but she was still being squished.

"Definitely harassment!" Evie admitted, unable to escape Tamaki's bear hug.

"Mary!" Renge gasped, closing her purple parasol and pointing it at her accusingly. "You joined Class 1-A, and you never told me!"

"Sorry, I kind of get around," Mary laughed, finally wriggling free from Tamaki. It loosened things up enough that Evie was able to escape as well.

"Honestly, I'm absent for one day, and I miss all of the action!" Renge sighed in her nasally way. She looked to Evie. "I've come to correct a serious technical issue. Evie!"

"Me?" She paled, pointing at herself in worry.

Renge pointed to Tamaki in turn. "As everyone should now know, Evie-chan has tested into her academic levels. As she's in Class 3-A with Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai—"

"Seriously, where do you learn this stuff?" Mary wondered aloud. "Who's there to tell you?"

"I have my sources!" Renge grouched at being interrupted. She held the parasol in both hands, clearing her throat with a ladylike voice to follow. "Ahem… Anyways, that obviously makes it quite impossible for Evie to be able to call a person, specifically Tamaki, by senpai when he's in a lower grade level. In fact, she's _your_ senpai."

"Oh," Evie held a hand to her mouth. "I… suppose that makes sense. Strange."

"B-but that can't be!" Tamaki protested, flailing his arms around in ridiculous windmills. "A father can't be outranked by his daughter!"

"It's only academic, boss," Kaoru reminded.

"Yeah, it's not a big deal," Hikaru added.

"Do I have to start calling you Evie-senpai now?" Mary mocked, unable to say it without chuckling.

"Well, my work here is done!" Renge announced, suddenly standing back atop her motorized stage. "Have a nice day! Hahahahaha!"

With another cloud of smoke, the girl was gone. The group took in this new information like it was a bitter pill. But the pump of a water gun broke the silence.

Water shot out and hit Tamaki square in the face. He was too late to block the shot and took it in full. Mary took off her cover-up and handed it to him since there wasn't a nearby towel. When he realized what he was rubbing his face into, he nearly shrieked. Mary giggled and took it back from him.

"Come on, boss! Let's go a few rounds!" Hikaru egged on as Kaoru pumped his own water gun.

"Why would I want to play an immature game like that?" Tamaki asked, still recovering from Mary's little prank. He was red in the face until the smock was back around her.

The twins glared at each other before each took an arm of Evie's and swayed her back and forth like bait. "Hey, Evie-senpai, maybe you can teach the boss a few things now that you've outranked him! You're so much smarter and older than he is! And everyone knows fathers can't be younger than their daughters~"

Tamaki's eyes lit like fire as a water gun miraculously appeared in his grasp and it was rapidly prepped and at the ready. He spun on his heel, aiming at the twins with fury. "Daddy says _no!"_

Evie dodged as the boys went after each other, running to Mary. "It's about time, right?"

Mary was about to agree, but she looked to the side where a basket of water guns was waiting for them. She saw that Mori and Honey were still in the current pool, so it appeared things were going differently already. She shrugged. "It looks safe to me!"

Evie watched as Mary sprinted to the basket and chose a gun for herself, loading it with pool water and pumping it at the ready. She aimed at Evie who cried out in fear of the ambush. "Arm yourself!"

"No fair!" Evie wailed, getting soaked in one shot as Mary laughed at her expense. She ran to the basket and got her own gun, fumbling to fill it as Mary shot at her again. "At least give me a chance!"

"There are no chances in war!" Mary declared, but she laid off of her friend. She pumped the gun, looking over where the boys disappeared towards the other cabana huts. She smiled mischievously. "What do you say we get a little revenge, eh?"

"Just what I was thinking!" Evie laughed, landing a perfect head shot on Mary.

Mary sputtered, pointing at Tamaki who was yelling something about 'honor' and 'ohana' at the top of his voice. "Come on, let's get 'em!"

Evie laughed and ran after her friend. They motioned to each other to take different sides behind the bushes and decorations to surround them. Kaoru was quick to catch on and shouted when he saw the barrel end Mar's gun pointed at him. He went after Evie instead, suddenly defending the host king.

"Got ya!" Evie giggled, emptying her rounds on Tamaki relentlessly.

"Not me, princess! Daddy's fighting for your honor!" Tamaki wailed.

"Ah!" Evie shrieked when Kaoru grazed her arm. She aimed back at him, but she missed entirely as Tamaki refilled his gun and went after his Hitachiin rescue, unable to attack his 'daughter.'

With Kaoru too fast to hit, Mary stood from her hiding spot and got a good shot to Hikaru who fired back. Trying to dodge, Mary stepped back, and her sandal caught the decorative rock border. She fell backwards with a scream.

Hikaru was close enough, and he acted fast. Reaching out, he grabbed Mary's flailing hand and pulled her back. Her shoes had little traction, so she slipped on the grass and pitched over. Unable to let go as she had him in an iron grip in her panic, Hikaru was pulled down with her.

Mary got up first, scrambling back and away from Hikaru, so he wasn't on top of her. She rubbed her back, still holding her over-sized, plastic water gun in her other hand. Her bun had fallen out, so she had frizzy strands blinding her. She pushed them back over her head to inspect the damage. "Ow… you okay?"

"I was… until you dragged me down," he complained, pulling himself to his knees. "What's the matter with you?"

When she was about to thank him for trying to save her from the fall, she bit her tongue and glowered. "What's the matter with _you?_"

Hikaru sat and rubbed his head where he got knocked by a water pistol in the tumble, seemingly tuning her out. "Jeez… What did I do to make you hate me?"

"Hate you?" Mary shot to her feet. "You hate me!"

Hikaru slowly rose with a scowl, making Mary feel the need to step back from him. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"Y-you're so mean!" Mary admitted, quite at a loss for words by this point. "What was I supposed to think? All of the name calling was just initiation?"

When Hikaru just stared at her, Mary realized she had probably hit the nail on the head. They had tested the waters with Haruhi, too. They had become her friend based on her reactions to their stupid pranks and silly jokes. She tolerated them and scolded them. But they were friends through it all.

Flustered, Mary took one more step backwards. She fell straight into something hard, slipping to the ground once again. The totem pole lit up with red warning lights, and a siren sounded somewhere in the distance. Mary face palmed. "Oh, jeez…"

Evie stopped what she was doing once she heard the sirens. Spotting Mary next to the totem pole that was lit up like a Christmas tree, she whirled around to see the current pool. Mori was over by Kyoya, and Honey was in the water by himself. "Oh, no!"

The tidal wave in the current pool rose higher and higher. Evie had dropped everything and was making a mad sprint for the water. Mori dropped his drink in shock, the plastic cup falling to the ground and rolling. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own as he ran like his life depended on it. "Mitsukuni!"

"Honey!" Evie gasped as the water came crashing down. Honey's surprised yell was drowned out by the water sweeping him away at an alarming rate.

Mori slipped. Comically, it was a banana peel, but the effect it had was far from funny. Mori scrambled up, but he was too late as Evie stopped at his side and Honey's inner tube was all that was left.

Evie held out her hand, but Mori didn't see it at first as he ignored his scrapes. She squatted before him, startling him somewhat until he saw her open palm. It was rather silly to see someone so big picked up by someone so much smaller, but Evie helped him back to his feet. By that time, Tamaki and Kyoya had gathered at the pool side.

"Hikaru! Mary!" Kaoru's voice called out in worry. His padding footsteps were soon at the scene where Mary was still sitting on the ground looking down and feeling like an idiot that she had set things in motion. With Hikaru standing over her, Kaoru got the wrong idea. "What did you do now?"

"I didn't—!" Hikaru began to argue to defend himself.

"He was just helping me up," Mary spoke up. "I fell into this pole, which seems to be the switch to clear out the current pool…"

Kaoru took both of Mary's hands and swiftly helped her to her feet. He had a wild look about him that showed his fear, but it wasn't what Mary was expecting. "But Honey-senpai was in the current pool!"

Mary wanted to say 'I know,' but she it would only make things worse. Because he wasn't scared so much for Honey – he could handle himself. No, he was scared of _her_. Of her and Evie. Because they had known.

"You knew this was going to happen," Hikaru rightly accused. "Why didn't you stop it like you said you would?"

"Because we didn't know it would happen like this!" Mary admitted, putting her hands up in surrender. She began the walk to meet the others, knowing there was no point in running into the wildlife pits of alligators with them.

"Well, what about your fancy time travelling gun?" Kaoru asked, falling into step beside her rapid pace. "Can't you just undo it?"

Mary sighed. "It'll just happen differently. It's something that had to happen to move on. Besides, there isn't any real danger present. You guys know better than I do that Honey-senpai can take care of himself. My main concern is walking hundreds of meters," she pointed towards the end of the digital skyline.

The twins groaned. The trio had finally caught up with the others, who were still panting from running blindly towards the alligators who were now swarming everywhere after being startled.

Evie had tears in her eyes as she ran to meet Mary. "It was so close! I thought it was going to bite my foot clean off!"

"Then you should've remembered not to go running right at them," Mary shrugged, but she gave her friend a consoling pat anyways.

After his long respite of observations all afternoon, Kyoya closed his notebook and smiled. "So the wildlife park needs more fences, and the switch for the current pool needs to be moved. I'll have a word with the designers. Thanks, everyone! We got some great data today."

While the boys argued about being guinea pigs for Kyoya's fancy astrodome of doom, Evie held her arms in worry. She knew Honey would be okay, but it was strange to see Mori so quiet. Not… a content quiet. An unsettling, tense quiet. Like he was gritting his teeth.

"Alright, men! We're on a mission of survival!" Tamaki announced to the huddled group. "We're going to traverse this jungle and rescue Honey-senpai!"

Kyoya was forced to lead the way, as he was the only one who knew the map well enough to know where the current pool spilled out, and he knew how to avoid the more dangerous animal areas. Not to mention the rapids, quicksand, bugs, and foliage to make the jungle as authentic as can be.

Evie wished that the plants and trees would have been holograms or artificial like the sky and the weather here. Then they could just cut a straight path, and no one would feel so anxious. She determined she and Mary had to be voices of hope and encouragement, as they knew the outcome of the adventure, but Mary seemed to be off in her own gloomy thoughts as they trudged along the path. So it was up to her.

The clouds continued to gather above their heads and move faster. Though Evie tried to match Mori's pace, she practically had to jog the entire time, and the others were nearly left behind on more than one occasion. The first inklings of rain filled the air with its fresh smell before a light drizzle started.

"Hm… Looks like it's time for the scheduled rain shower," Kyoya observed, checking his wrist watch to be sure. "There's a hut up ahead we can stop in until it's over."

By the time the hut came into view, the group was running for cover as the rain poured down in torrents. They gathered under the shack that still smelled like fresh wood and paint to wait out the downpour, but after ten minutes, it didn't seem very promising.

Mary leaned against the railing of the open building, looking out at the rain falling down on the fern leaves. The drops splashed hard enough to make the plants bounce around in a strange rain dance. She distracted herself with the runoff water coming from the roof, hitting the ground and making muddy puddles.

_What did I do to make you hate me?_

She had never had that problem before. There were always times when Mary didn't get along with someone, but things were always sorted out, or it wasn't a big enough deal to worry about. When she had first imagined the real possibilities of entering this fictional universe, the twins were definitely on her mind – right at the top of her list next to seeing Tamaki play piano and Kyoya yell about being woken up too early. She was supposed to befriend them so easily, and they would pull pranks on the other hosts and have fun even in the most boring of classes.

But no. Along the way, Mary screwed up. She was too snarky, too rude, too loud, too opinionated. And they thought she hated them. And it bothered her.

"Hey, Kyoya?" Mary asked, seeing him out of the corner of her eye. He looked up. "Can I ask you something?"

"Perhaps," he answered, pushing up his glasses. They fell back into place anyways. "It all depends on whether or not it's a waste of my time."

Mary laughed at that, still staring out at the jungle. "I was just wondering… you know how we said we know why you started the Host Club? How you met Tamaki?"

He was quiet. It was a suspicious silence.

She went on. "There's one thing I never understood about it all."

Now invested in the conversation, Kyoya stood beside her, watching the world move around them. "And?"

Mary scrunched her nose. "You really hated him, didn't you? What made you stick around?"

Kyoya smirked, crossing his arms over his flower patterned shirt. "I think you already know the answer to that question."

"He was persistent? He got under your skin?" She ventured.

"It's…" Kyoya paused, entertaining the idea of letting it go at that. He seemed colder again, holding his glasses so the light glared off of them. "How he can't be fooled. Despite his seeming lack of intellect, Tamaki's one of the sharpest minds when it comes to people."

"He'll see right through you," Mary agreed with a smile. Though it wasn't the deepest or most important question to ask him, it was nice to hear it from his own mouth. And without much of a fight—

"That'll be another thousand yen added to your debt," he blatantly reported.

Mary jumped. "What?!"

"You wasted my time," he said, making a tick in his notebook.

Somehow, Mary didn't mind. She shook her head and grinned. _He's lucky he's my favorite today. Only one wearing a shirt in this humidity, that classy bastard._

The rain started to slowly die down to a few stray drops. Without the noise, it was now impossible for Mary and Kyoya to tune out the twins teasing Tamaki that they were moving in on his father figure role. A role that no one but the delusional Tamaki wanted.

"I'll call my family's secret police about sending out a search party," Kyoya said, already dialing his phone.

Mary almost told him that wouldn't be a good idea, but she figured Honey could use a little martial arts exercise. Also, since Evie was such a huge MMA fan, she could definitely appreciate a front row seat. And with the vacancy in the hut, she should be at that point about now.

* * *

><p>Mori watched the rain fall in its monotonous rhythm. With no sign of it letting up, he was thinking of going out again anyways. A little water never hurt anyone…<p>

A tentative finger tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around.

"You know he's fine, right?" Evie asked, cocking her head to the side. Her hands twisted the smock Tamaki had her wear over her swim suit. "I mean… It's not your fault. And we both know what he's capable of, but… you're still worried, and it's making me worry. Not that I'm worrying about you, specifically! But – um… drat. Sorry…"

After a contemplative pause that felt like an agonizing amount of time to Evie, Mori smiled and put a hand on her head. "Yeah. Thanks."

Evie smiled, glad she was able to help just a bit. At this moment, Tamaki burst into a panic that Mori was trying to take his fatherly role, and the twins began their mocking chants against him.

Mori suddenly looked up and out at the jungle. The rain had lessened, but it was still coming down.

"You're going to go out there anyways, aren't you?" Evie asked. She didn't wait for an answer and rolled her eyes, clapping her hands on her smock to dust it off. "You're awfully stubborn. I guess I had better tag along."

He watched in slight confusion as Evie walked out into the rain, heading straight for the leafy bushes and vines hanging from the tropical trees. She turned back, almost appearing annoyed. "Well? Is he this way or what?"

Mori jumped from the stairs of the hut and jogged to catch up to her. Evie smiled encouragingly as he pointed in the direction he thought Mitsukuni had gone. She received another grateful pat on the head as they disappeared into the jungle together. With Mary distracting Kyoya, and the others pointlessly arguing, no one saw them leave.

"Hm…" Evie sighed, letting out a breath from her nose. She attempted to whistle, so the only sound wouldn't be their footsteps squishing in the mud (her flip flops were not a great idea in retrospect), but she couldn't think of a tune, and all of the walking prevented her from holding a decent note. _Things were awkward, and she had only been walking with him for a few minutes!_

Evie chanced a glance upwards, wondering what kinds of things she could ask him. Like why he always said 'yeah,' or why he didn't really talk much at all. _Better come up with something that won't offend him._

"So… you're a national kendo champion, right?" She piped up.

Mori acknowledged this with a nod.

She clapped her hands. "That's so cool! Maybe you guys can teach me some moves sometime. I wouldn't want to intrude on your dojos or anything though, so just say the word if I'm bothering you. But I just think it's so awesome that you two are prodigies! I've never been a prodigy with anything. My mother said I picked up the cello fast, but I'm not exactly the most talented thing in the whole wide world, you know? And I mean, I can hold my own in a match, but I'm not a – wait, did I tell you I'm an MMA fighter? Mixed Martial Arts? I've been in a few tournaments, but Mary's always exaggerating and telling people I'm a champion. The closest I came was third, but I won a few school tournaments in gold, so I guess that's pretty good. I fence, too, but it's nothing like what you guys do, I guess…"

She had to give up. His silence was just too much. Evie could ramble all day, but she'd only succeed in making Mori fall asleep standing up. She ducked under a mossy tree branch and frowned how the atmosphere had seemed to triple in awkwardness since she opened her mouth again.

"You… practice often?"

Evie blinked, almost too shocked to hear such a long sentence to answer. "Oh, yeah! Yeah, whenever I can… Not much time lately though, you know? Kind of all over the place…"

Mori stopped at a particularly large puddle that had flooded the path. He stepped over it easy enough, but Evie had to contemplate tip toeing through. He held out his hand for her.

"Thanks!" She chirped, gripping it tight as she leapt over.

Mori had to help catch her unsteady landing. After Evie righted herself, he said: "You can stop by the school's practice dojo… any time."

She wasn't sure what to say. Was it open to anyone, or was that an invitation? She took it as the latter because it made her feel all fuzzy and special. She smiled. "That's great; thanks! I hope to see you around there. Maybe you can teach me something new and vice versa."

"Yeah," he smiled.

Evie was in high spirits by the time a familiar clearing opened up before them. Though she was celebrating getting out of the wet weeds, she was more excited to see when the secret police would show up and Honey would—

"Targets acquired!"

She bounced on her heels in giddy delight, unable to show any signs of fear as Ootori police leapt from the bushes and came down from ropes above. Obviously, those around her found this very strange.

Guns pointed at the pair, Mori instinctively put an arm in front of her as he sized up the opposition. Evie looked past him, thinking she could at least take out two of them… if they weren't in full armor regalia.

"State your business!" One of the officers barked. His automatic clicked dangerously. "We're under orders to eliminate any suspicious figures, so think long and hard about your answer!"

Evie wondered if she should reply, but she looked to Mori first. He was posed like he was ready to spring into action any second. He was obviously not a man of many words anyways.

"Prepare to fire warning shots!" Another commanded. Poised at the ready, the circle that had them surrounded all inched towards their triggers.

A sound like wind rushing through the trees seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. A smile crossed Mori's face.

"Takashi! Evie-chan!" Honey came somersaulting out of the tree canopy and executed a flawless landing before his friends. Rather in a way that Mary needed to see Tamaki play piano live, Evie needed to see this fight live. Honey smiled when the guns turned to him.

"Hey! Who are you?!"

"What do you think you're doing, kid—?" The poor man hadn't finished his question before he got a face full of foot.

Evie gaped in awe as Honey went from screaming, panicking security officer to the next. He flipped them over his shoulder like they weighed twenty pounds, and he jumped over them like they were a foot high. The true mark of a person who has mastered their field – Honey made it all look so _easy_.

Mori looked slightly disappointed he didn't get a punch in as the men lay sprawled and twitching on the ground around them. Honey clapped his hands free from any dirt and held up a scolding finger to the groaning bodies. "Picking on my friends is a big no-no!"

There was something incredibly surreal about such a sweet voiced, baby faced darling like Honey-senpai totally kicking ass.

"That was perfect!"

The boys turned to Evie in surprise, but Honey was instantly mauled by a bear hug to rival Tamaki's grip. She spun him around and around. "That was so amazing, Honey-senpai! I'm so glad you're okay, and I'm more excited than ever to visit the training grounds! Promise to teach me how you fly like that!"

Honey laughed at her enthusiasm, and Mori was back to his serene quietness. There were a few explanations that needed to be had, and while everyone was being filled in, the other hosts with Mary came running down the path to meet them.

"Evie!" Tamaki shouted. The girl looked up, blanching as he tearfully ran towards her with open arms. "_Evie~!_ I was so worried!"

"Ah! Senpai, no!" Evie shrieked, but it only motivated him further. She was soon relentlessly crushed in a loving squeeze.

"Hear that?! Evie still calls me senpai! What respect for your father~!" He seemed appeased for the time being, but his friends were starting to seriously worry about his mental health.

"I _have_ to call you senpai," Mary reminded, arms crossed with a smirk. "So Daddy doesn't have to worry about a thing."

"Don't enable him!" Evie begged, still crushed.

"Yay~!" Tamaki celebrated by smothering Evie some more.

"You guys okay?" Kaoru asked Honey first.

"Yeah, you just ran off, so…" Hikaru looked away from Mori. He and his brother inspected the fallen guards, noting how easy they had gone on them.

There were many profuse apologies from the Ootori police force once they came around, as they respected both Honey and Mori very much. Of course, things were smoothed over well enough, and Kyoya dismissed the alert.

After everything was sorted, the virtual sun was starting to set. The long trek back to the entrance gave everyone some time to reflect on their crazy adventures the day brought them. And they still had three days of their short, midterm break left to go.

Evie and Mary walked side by side, bringing up the rear. Tamaki was animatedly talking to Kyoya about plans he had, and there was an irritated vein throbbing on his head – probably due to finances. Mori had Honey on his shoulders, as the little guy had done quite enough running around for one day. The twins were back in their own little world it seemed, not saying much but walking in synchronized step.

"This was a good episode," Evie smiled with a sigh. "Mori invited me to train with them, and Honey said he'd be happy to see what I've got. I can't wait to watch!"

"Wow, that's awesome, Evie," Mary's eyebrows rose in surprise. She was definitely making bigger strides in the friendship department. "I'm really happy for you! We'll definitely have to find time to get you there."

"Oh, yeah…" Evie nodded. "I hadn't thought about that. Maybe I can skip classes."

"I've been such a bad influence on you," Mary teased.

"What was really going on?" Kaoru asked.

Hikaru was confused. "What do you mean?"

"When you and Mary were by the current pool switch," he said, not liking the feeling his twin was keeping something from him. He doubted it, but he couldn't deny the inclination there was some sort of confrontation or secret being kept.

"Just as she said," Hikaru wove his hands behind his head. "She fell, and I tried to help her up."

"Yeah… okay," Kaoru accepted the answer with a smile. He wasn't satisfied, though he was glad Hikaru wasn't intuitive enough to tell.

"You did a good job watching over Evie-chan today," Honey congratulated his cousin, giving his head a pat. He grinned. "But I feel like she was looking after you, too!"

"Yeah," Mori said, his grey eyes watching the path ahead. They were finally back by the changing rooms and pool area.

Honey rested his chin on Mori's head, almost in a knowing gesture. "I hope you weren't too lonely without me around!"

Mori paused for a moment, remembering Evie's bright nature and kind support. "I wouldn't say that…"

Satisfied, Honey giggled and folded his arms over Mori's hair.

"At least it's cost effective…" Kyoya calculated. "So it's definitely a possibility."

"The guests would love it!" Tamaki insisted, his eyes shining with the next new idea of his. "After all, no woman can resist long, romantic walks on the beach~"

"We should get enough revenue if we send out the invitations by midnight," Kyoya said, biting his thumb nail in thought.

Tamaki's face softened into disappointment as he limply hung his arms. "Honestly, Kyoya, all you ever think about is the money. Do you really have any fun with this?"

Kyoya adjusted his glasses and smiled, but it went unseen by Tamaki. In a voice loud enough for the whole group to hear, he said: "Looks like we're heading to the beach; king's orders! Be ready to cater to guests like we never have before."

"I hope he just means by location," Mary said. It made Evie laugh much harder than it should have, which made Mary erupt into giggles as well. The boys were well ahead of them back by the entrance, waiting for the girls to come to their senses, so they could all leave.

"Are we getting out of here or what?" Hikaru called, his brother waving to them at his side. Mori had their bag already in the limousine. "We don't have all day!"

"Coming!" Both Mary and Evie sang in unison, racing back to the limo. This time when they dived in, it was of their own accord. And they were both excited for their next adventure in deeper waters.


	15. The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!

Wow, thanks for reviewing again, MarshallAlexandraAnderson! I appreciate the support! :D

This time around, I'm posting a bunch of chapters all at once. I wanted to see how far I could get in one day, so this is it! Why are my chapters getting so loooong all of the sudden? Eh. Can't be helped, but it's going to make my deadline much more difficult. Thanks for reading, everybody!

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><p><strong>The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!<strong>

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><p>Mary was discovering how convenient it was to live in a cartoon world. Every day was a good hair day. With impossible volume, her styles always seemed to set perfectly. Except when a bad hair day was being used for a comedic effect, the blonde had no complaints.<p>

She sprawled out on the towel, fanning out her light colored hair around her. She wove a lock through her fingers, not looking forward to knots and tangles and humidity and flatness again.

"It's kind of weird, isn't it?" Evie asked.

Mary didn't sit up, but she tilted her head so she could see her friend underneath the umbrella. She had a fistful of white sand in her palm.

Evie pulled her knees tighter towards her chin, wearing the same emerald green swimming suit from the last episode. Luckily, Tamaki was too distracted hosting the enormous line of swooning girls to shove those hideous smocks at them again. "The sand feels so real…"

Her friend tested this observation, stroking a hand across the ground. Grains ran through her fingers and stuck to her nails. "Yeah. And?"

"Well, it's just… where we are," Evie explained with a small smile. She let the sand run like time in an hourglass out from her hand. "I thought everything would be so… 2D."

Surprised that Evie was having similar thoughts, Mary sat up and ducked closer under the umbrella's shade. She stretched out her legs and leaned back on her palms, admiring the sky. "I was thinking that, too. How much I'm going to miss low maintenance long hair."

Evie chuckled, pulling at her high ponytail in agreement. The summer heat made it wavy. She sighed. "It's funny that things really haven't changed in the show all that much. I mean, a few things are different, but the same events are still here. I'm glad we're at the beach!"

Mary inhaled the salty, sea air and smiled. "Yeah, it's nice here. I've never been swimming in the ocean… Maybe a fictional one could be my first."

A beach ball bounced nearby and rolled to a stop a few feet from Evie. Mary stood as the twins approached to retrieve it.

"Where are you going?" Evie whispered, beckoning her head so her friend would notice the Hitachiins coming.

"Swimming," Mary answered simply. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and made a lazy walk to the water, testing the temperature with her feet.

Evie sighed in annoyance, realizing Mary knew quite well who was coming, and she was now actively avoiding them. She felt a mixture of pity and contempt for Mary. Pity since getting along with her favorite hosts was proving to be more difficult and contempt for her minimal effort to fix things. _Honestly, she can be so stubborn! Just as stubborn as these gingers…_

Kaoru picked up the striped ball, spotting Evie under the umbrella. "Sitting here all alone? That's no fun."

"Yeah, where's your friend?" Hikaru asked, catching up to his brother and relaxing a hand on his hip.

"_Mary_ is out swimming," Evie was sure to put emphasis on her name as Hikaru seemed to do everything in his power to avoid addressing her directly. _Everyone's so immature!_

Just as she said this, Mary had made it out far enough into the water where the waves were beating steadily harder and higher. She took a deep breath and dived forward, submerging herself and completely disappearing under the sparkling surface.

"Why don't you come play ball with us?" Kaoru offered, holding up the object like it would persuade her. "I'm sure the girls could use another player!"

"You shouldn't just sit here and mope by yourself," Hikaru ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not moping!" She shouted. Evie was torn between wanting to go and telling them to get lost. She wasn't interested in meeting their super crazy fangirls, either. She eyed the tote next to her under the umbrella. Evie wasn't comfortable leaving the Flashmatic all alone in such a public area. What if someone stole it? Rifled through their bag and the codes went flying off in the wind?

"Helloooo?" Hikaru and Kaoru waved their hands in front of her blank, thinking face. "You coming or what?"

"Uh, no! I'm fine here!" Evie snapped back, grabbing the tote and hugging it close. "I have to watch our bag."

"It'll be fine," Hikaru waved away her worries.

"No, I had really better stay," she insisted, not letting go. "I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to the remote or the paper."

Kaoru raised a curious eyebrow to his brother first before giving the puzzled look to Evie. "What is on that paper anyways?"

"Just… stuff," Evie answered vaguely, looking up at the umbrella roof.

"You use it to get around, right? That's the cheat sheet for your time travelling," Hikaru put a hand to his chin. His twin did the same, and they smirked. In unison, they held forward a hand. "Let us see it."

"No way!" Evie clutched tighter.

"Why?"

"Because!" She stuttered, wondering why they were so interested in their stuff all of the sudden. Then again, their ability to hop around their world at will was the reason the hosts had kept them around and so close this long. She bit her lip. "You'd hurt it!"

"No, we wouldn't! Quit worrying," they scolded, continuing their synchronicity.

"I said no!" Evie's voice rose.

"What are you goons doing to Evie?" Tamaki was quickly stomping over, noticing the commotion from afar and abandoning his guests to investigate. "I swear, I leave for five seconds, and you two are harassing her!"

"Are not!" They denied, angry pulses appearing over their heads.

"We just wanted to see that fancy, time-travelling paper they've always got," Kaoru explained.

"We're totally innocent, boss," Hikaru stuck out his tongue.

"Time travel paper?" Tamaki asked, calming down and becoming curious.

"Who knows what kinds of secrets it holds? We just wanted a glimpse," Hikaru shrugged. "Wouldn't it be interesting to know how they open all of those portals and stuff?"

"I… suppose it _is_ rather interesting," the king finally admitted. He turned to Evie, changing his expression into a puppy dog face complete with a wagging tail.

"No way, senpai," Evie stuck her nose in the air and looked away.

Crushed, Tamaki flailed to regain his composure. "B-but Daddy only wants a quick peek!"

"No way, you guys! Just leave it alone!" Evie grumbled, now not trusting the bag alone for a second. This relaxing afternoon was rapidly becoming a fight for their only connection back home. If those idiots got ahold of it and ruined something, how on Earth would the girls get out of this world?

In the distance, Mori and Honey were with their regulars down the beach quite a ways performing some sort of aerobics. Kyoya passed with a group of guests behind him. His feet stopped when he saw both the twins and Tamaki.

"Ahem."

Everyone turned, forgetting about the suddenly-very-interesting paper, to gulp at Kyoya's annoyed expression and shining glasses. He crossed his arms. "Aren't you three supposed to be entertaining our guests who have so kindly agreed to travel here to be with you today?"

Shoulders sulking, the boys knew it was no use arguing Kyoya. They walked away from Evie down the beach, but it wasn't long before the twins hailed Tamaki down, pulling him into a squatting position for a secret huddle.

"Listen, boss; I say we try to get that paper," Hikaru whispered.

"I don't want to steal it! Mary and Evie will hate me," Tamaki recoiled, clutching at his face before tears overflowed.

"Nah, we'll just have a little competition," Hikaru continued.

The mischief in the air could be cut with a knife. Tamaki's ear seemed to double in size as the word 'competition' sparked his interest. "I'm listening…"

Smirking like his brother, Kaoru said: "First to get one of the girls to hand over the paper is the only one who gets to read it! All the same rules apply."

"So we can't tell them what we're doing, and there's no sabotage or the competition's off," Hikaru reiterated just to clarify, motioning the death of their game with a hand across his neck in sync with Kaoru.

Tamaki had to carefully consider possible setbacks or downsides before he smiled and nodded, holding forward a hand in their circle. "Okay! May the best man win!"

The twins stacked hands on top of each other along with his. Before they could break, two more hands joined the pile.

The three boys jumped when they looked up to see Honey and Mori looming over them with hands in the circle. Kyoya was overseeing the proceedings with decreasing patience.

"What are you two doing here?" Tamaki paled at the new competition.

"I don't know what you want the paper for, but it sounds like fun!" Honey giggled, pink flowers obliviously twirling around him. "Let's win, Takashi!"

"Yeah," Mori nodded.

Tamaki twitched in annoyance, but he quickly recovered with his determination back. "Very well! All together men! The host who charms the best is the winner! Break!"

"Break!" The chorus followed in unison as the hands parted.

Kyoya attempted to remind them not to forget their hosting duties, but it was little use. The hosts went off in their separate directions to scheme, but at least the regulars followed along with them.

Mary was lying on her back, watching the clouds pass overhead. She closed her eyes as a foam crested wave passed over her face as she bobbed. Her ears were filled with the soft clunking of the ocean water.

Finally breaking from her near trace-like state, Mary dropped her legs into the water and noticed she was a good distance out. _Jellyfish, sharks, giant squid – okay, time to get out!_

Unable to get her mind away from the perils that could be lurking below and around her, Mary powered through the water until her feet touched sand. She practically sprinted back to the beach, kicking up spray in her tread.

Back on the hot sand, she made her way over to where Evie was still sitting and oddly holding onto their bag for dear life. She spotted the hosts in a circle, throwing up their hands like they just had a pep talk in a sports film.

"What's going on with them?" Mary asked, picking up her towel and cloaking it over her shoulders. She wrung her hair out over her shoulder.

"I don't know, but I don't trust them," Evie said, her eyes narrowing. Noticing her bewildered friend needed an explanation, she told her how the twins were demanding to see the paper. Then Tamaki got in on it, too.

"They want our codes?" Mary wondered, shaking her head and getting the water out of her ears. "Strange… Better keep that bag close."

"What do you think I've been doing? Using it as a blanket?" Evie showed off some rare sarcasm in her retort, Mary reacting by rolling her eyes.

"Evie~! Mary~!" Tamaki's voice carried over as he jogged towards them. Round one began.

"Hey, senpai. What's up?" Mary asked, purposely blocking his way to Evie and the paper and folding her arms.

Tamaki came to a stop and noticed her outfit, but before he could say anything about a smock, Mary wrapped her beach towel around her person with a huff. It took him a flustered moment before he could remember why he ran over in the first place. "Oh! I was just in the neighborhood—"

"You were what?" Evie asked.

"Anyways," Tamaki ignored her question, placing a hand on his hip and another to his hairline. "I ran into a mysterious old man cloaked in foreign robes of blue."

Mary and Evie exchanged a startled glance. _Where the hell was this going?!_

Tamaki's eyes were shining in wonderment, carried away by his own made-up story. "He introduced himself, and I immediately recognized him as my long lost grandfather!"

"Wow, senpai, that's quite a coincidence," Mary muttered, still going unimpressed.

"It was by the hand of fate that we were reunited!" Tamaki exaggerated. He held his hands over his heart in stricken sadness. "But alas! His plane was leaving for Canada! He promised to telephone me, so we could meet again, but he had nothing for me to write my number or postal address on!"

"Oh, here we go…" Mary rolled her eyes and rubbed another towel over her wet head.

"If I just told him, he might forget! And then we'll be lost to each other once more," Tamaki wiped away a genuine tear at this heart-breaking epic he fabricated. He took a deep breath, perking up considerably as he addressed them. "So! I came to you lovely ladies to ask if you had a piece of paper that I could—"

"No way," Evie shook her head.

Tamaki deadpanned, horrified they weren't moved by his tragedy. "B-but what if I never see him again?!"

"You've made it this long without him," Mary said, emerging from her towel. "You'll live."

"How cruel…" Tamaki cried, forced to slowly slink away. "Little girls shouldn't be so heartless towards their father…!"

"Will you get out of here?!" Mary threw her extra towel, making Tamaki yell and dash away. She turned to Evie, sitting down on the sand beside her. "Sheesh, what a drama king…"

"No kidding… long lost grandfather?" Evie quoted with a laugh.

"Vroom! Vroom, vroom, vroom!" The sound effects continued to grow in volume until Honey was zooming around them, his arms spread out wide. He was holding a paper airplane in one hand.

Though the girls were still suspicious of him, they smiled in greeting. Mary waved. "Hey, Honey-senpai! Whatcha doing?"

Honey stopped his engine noises and ran up to their spot beneath the umbrella. "Hi, Mary-chan! Evie-chan! I'm an airplane!"

"I can see that!" Evie giggled.

"See my plane? I folded it all by myself!" Honey presented his paper aircraft in both palms for the girls to see.

"Wow, that's pretty good!" Mary complimented.

"Do you want me to teach you how to make one?" His eyes became wider in his excitement, the flowers dancing around him happily. "All you need is a piece of paper!"

"Sorry, but I don't have one," Mary shrugged obliviously.

Honey's face faltered. "Are you sure?"

Mary nodded her head. "Nope; no paper here!"

"Why don't you check your bag?"

The following, awkward silence was answer enough. Honey quickly exited the premises in defeat.

"Hey."

Both Evie and Mary turned and had to nearly lean back to see who was blocking the sun above them. It wasn't such a mystery.

"Hey, Mori," Evie left off the 'senpai' as they were in the same class now. She tilted her head. "What's that?"

A squirming grey scaled fish wriggled in his grasp. Mori held it out to them, trying to relay his problem.

Evie blinked. "Mori, you can't wrap your fish in our paper."

He was gone as fast as he came.

Mary blew the bangs that were drying from her face. "I guess that's three down… Why do they want our paper so bad?"

"They're just curious," Evie said. She grinned. "And I think they just like having a game."

"Help! Somebody help me!" A cry went over the beach.

Mary and Evie whirled around to see one of the twins was on the ground with the other hovering over him in worry. They gasped and dashed to the scene, but not before Mary grabbed the tote to take along.

"Please! Help him! Kaoru!" Hikaru wailed, covering his face with his hands from where he was kneeling.

"What happened?!" Evie panicked, her adrenaline racing when she saw an unconscious Kaoru awkwardly sprawled in the sand like he had collapsed there.

Mary knelt down, grabbing Kaoru's wrist to check his pulse. She felt a steady beat. Brow furrowing in confusion, she was about to try to prop him up when Kaoru dramatically sputtered and coughed.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru cried, taking up his brother's hand.

"Give him some air!" Evie ordered as girls started to gather around.

As it seemed Kaoru's lips were moving but no sound was coming out, Mary leaned over and pulled her hair back, so she could listen closely. Kaoru's voice was so raspy and weak, it was difficult to understand at first.

"Pa… per…"

Mary bolted upright, her face going completely stony in anger that she fell for it and worried herself over nothing. She took their bag and stood back up. "You guys are the worst yet."

"Hey!" Both Hikaru and Kaoru complained as they broke out of character, thoroughly confusing everyone around them.

"He's fine!" Evie eased their worries, waving her hands so the girls would clear out. "Just a misunderstanding!"

"Idiots…" Mary muttered, shaking her head and leaving them behind.

Evie hurried to catch up to her friend. "Was that just another prank?! The nerve!"

"Tch," Mary agreed.

"Where are you going?" Evie asked, lingering by the umbrella and towel that Mary had passed by.

"For a walk!" She snapped, stalking off down the beach.

Evie flinched at the secondhand anger she received. She watched her friend go with worry, releasing a heavy sigh. The breeze strengthened as the day grew later, bringing a chill. It caught the ruffles in the skirt of her swim suit, and it swung her ponytail. Behind her, Tamaki crept up with a white bag-shaped cover up.

"Senpai, I _swear_—" Evie didn't have to look to see who was behind her, and she didn't have to finish her threat. He disappeared with his tail between his legs.

Mary blinked at the setting sun. Another 'never had she ever.' It was the first sunset over the ocean she had seen, and it was a watercolor replica of what her world was capable of.

She stuck her chin in her knees, shivering slightly. The wind was stronger up here on this massive rock outcropping that seemed to look over everything. Mary didn't mind, though – the wind felt nice.

_This is the spot those creeps show up_, Mary reminded herself, taking in a calm breath of the sea air. She was almost daring them to make an appearance, so she could vent her frustrations.

"Hey… I thought you'd be up here," Evie said, carefully watching where she stepped in her flip flops. She stopped a fair distance behind her friend where Mary had dropped the Ouran bag earlier. "It's quite a climb up here!"

"The view's worth it," Mary said, relaxing and kicking her legs out in front of her.

"Yeah!" Evie cheerily smiled. "But… You want to come down? I don't trust this rock…"

"I guess… I'm starving," Mary admitted, rising to her feet and dusting off her bare legs. The bikini she wore in the last episode was the same here, and the white stripes had picked up dirt in patches. She brushed herself off, giving herself a once over before deciding that was as good as it was going to get. Her eyes widened when she looked up past Evie's shoulder.

"Nice suit, babe."

Evie had to hold a hand over her mouth to contain her yell of surprise. She twirled to see the two drunk morons from the original episode meandering up the precipice to meet them.

"I was wondering if you guys would ever show up," Mary sighed. She tested her fist in her palm.

"What?!" Evie grouched with hands on her hips. They both knew perfectly well that Mary had the fighter personality down, but Evie was the one who could pack a punch. If Mary thought she could take them on, she was kidding herself. "Mary, let's go—"

One of the guys put a hand on Evie's shoulder. It was rougher than necessary, making it painfully clear he was holding her in place.

"Doesn't leave much to the imagination," the second approached Mary, shamelessly roving his eyes over her. "I like that."

Mary took a breath and swung. Though he was drunk, he was wasn't completely delirious. He caught her fist in his palm, grinning down at her like her effort was cute. Mary froze, allowing a tinge of fear to creep up her spine for the first time.

"Back off!" Evie warned and struggled away. When the man wouldn't let her go, she grabbed his wrist in both of her hands. In the next second, she was using all of her might and the leverage of the movement to throw him completely over top of her and land hard in the dirt at her feet.

"Urk!" Was all he could say, as the wind had been knocked out of him. He started choking on air and wheezing, holding his rib cage.

"Hey! What the hell?!" The man who still had Mary's fist in his grasp yelled. He squeezed Mary's hand in anger, and she winced. She tried to kick him in the crotch, but he dodged with plenty of time. "Will you quit squirming?!"

"Let me go!" Mary growled, jabbing her elbow into his side when he pulled her closer.

"No! Stop it!" Evie demanded as she ran to help. Mary's foot slipped, and time seemed to slow.

"Fine!" He said, releasing Mary and pushing her away from him.

Mary's eyes went wide as she stumbled backwards. Her sandal strap snapped as she struggled to stay forward, actually reaching back to her attacker for help.

Evie had two choices. Or three, if she shoved that guy off the cliff like she wanted to. Her eyes went between her friend and the bag. She groaned indecisively for a minute before she took off for the tote bag. She wrenched out the Flashmatic and pressed the pause button. "I said _stop!_"

She forgot one, very important detail. Mary and Evie weren't affected by the remote's play options. Evie gasped as Mary struggled in the frozen world to stay up.

"H-help!" Mary yelped before pitching over the side.

Evie automatically hit pause again, and the scene flew back into action. She dropped the Flashmatic and sprinted forward. "Mary!"

Mary would have screamed, but she was too busy taking a deep breath for the impact. The wind rushed past her for a few, tense seconds before the water drowned out her senses. She landed flat on her back, slapping the air straight out of her lungs and blurring her vision with pain.

"Aaahh!" Evie freely screamed as she recalled midair that she wasn't a diver. She spun head over heels and came careening into the water with a great splash, hitting head first.

Another rapid set of footsteps were sprinting across the cliff, having heard the fighting and then Evie's following scream and splash. Diving off better prepared, he hit the water smoother and swam deeper to retrieve the girls.

Mary blinked, her eyes stinging in the salt water and her back still tingling from how she landed. Though her eye lids were desperately trying to force themselves closed, she persevered to keep them open. Her wrist was hurting. The skin was twisted uncomfortably… _in someone's hand!_

Now fully aware, Mary cinched her sore lungs and saw Tamaki struggling to get both her and Evie to the surface at the same time. She grabbed Tamaki's arm, and he flinched in surprise.

Strangely muted with the currents swirling around them, Mary nodded to let Tamaki know she was okay before grabbing Evie's other arm and pulling up towards the light. With her help, Tamaki was given the strength to swim with his other arm. They painfully sped upwards, given some amount of buoyancy with the lifeless Evie feeling somewhat like a rock between them.

Mary immediately started coughing when her head emerged from the ocean, her throat burning and dry despite being soaked through. Tamaki didn't take as long to recover as he supported Evie's head above water. Mary shivered as her paddling grew weaker, but she wouldn't allow herself to be towed to shore as a burden when Evie still wasn't awake. She pushed on, taking up Evie's right arm and plowing ahead to help Tamaki get her to shore.

_Sand!_ Mary breathed a sigh of relief when her toes touched the squishy ground. She coughed again, wading up high enough before standing for a moment to rest.

"Are you alright?" Tamaki's voice was low, reminding Mary that he would be mad about all of this. He carefully reached down and pulled Evie from the water bridal style.

Mary nodded, unable to vocalize yet. She slowly followed behind breathing hard, her legs shaking underneath her. When the sand became firmer and patches of washed up kelp swam before her eyes, Mary threw herself to her knees to rest.

"Mary-chan! You're okay!" Honey knelt by her, hugging her arm in worry. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah…" Mary finally said, breathing easier. But she didn't get up. She sat back on her heels.

"Ugh…" Evie groaned, waking up at last and spitting out some water. Everyone let go of the breath they were holding. She rubbed her aching, saltwater logged head. "Ow… Mary? Where's Mary?"

"She's right here," Tamaki said.

"Let me down, thanks…" Evie pushed away gently. Tamaki did as she asked and set her on her feet.

"It… wasn't supposed to happen like that," Mary mumbled. Evie looked down at her friend. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry? How was this your fault?" Evie held out a hand.

Mary pulled herself up, feeling like a drenched rat. She hugged her shoulders and sniffed. A beige messenger bag was held before her. She anxiously looked up.

"We didn't look at it…" Hikaru said, holding it out for her to take and staring up and away from her. She noticed the bruises blossoming on his knuckles, and how Kaoru tried to hide his no doubt similar hands as he crossed his arms.

Mary accepted it, holding the strap in both of her fists as she shivered against the wind. She smiled with chattering teeth. "Thanks."

Tamaki took Evie by the shoulders, and it surprised both girls that she was the one getting the scolding. He leveled his eyes with hers. "Why didn't you call for help? Why did you just jump in without knowing what you were doing? What were you thinking?!"

Evie grit her teeth. "I can handle myself."

"What would you have done, then?" He challenged. Tamaki let her go, folding his arms. "…You should've gotten help. And to blindly go in there fighting those guys! You're smaller than they are!"

"Tama-chan…" Honey tried to softly speak up.

Tamaki waved in the direction where they fell. "They could've thrown you off the cliff, but you just did the job for them!"

Evie was glaring with tears in her eyes. Her lip quivered. Mori put a hand on Tamaki's shoulder, startling him.

"Evie _saved_ me," Mary said. "If she hadn't flipped the first guy, it would've been two against one—"

"Flipped…?" Tamaki's blank look returned as he looked between faces.

"Oh, that's right…" Mary realized. "You're wrong, Tamaki. You couldn't have known, but Evie's an MMA fighter. She actually _can_ handle herself. So…"

Evie had already turned away, not looking for an apology. She knew jumping from the cliff was stupid, but anyone would have done the same in her shoes. It would be stranger to find a person who _wouldn't_ have jumped to save their best friend.

"Evie…?" Tamaki attempted, but his voice died in his throat along with any apologies that might have followed.

Kyoya turned towards the gigantic beach house. "I think that's enough excitement for one day. Let's head back."

Tamaki provided his dry button up shirt for Mary to hold around her shoulders as they silently walked. She looked up at him walking next to Kyoya, glad to see his face wasn't as severe as she thought it would be. But what did she expect? They had given everyone a run for their money going over that rock. Mary pulled the shirt tighter, sad that she had worried everyone but feeling loved all the same.

Evie found a fuzzy towel resting on her head. Honey was at her side, looking unlike himself in such a somber mood, but he put on a supportive smile for her. It was Mori who provided the warm towel, and she hadn't realized she was shivering until he had done so. He stared at the gathering clouds and crashing waves of a storm approaching before following behind her and Honey. Evie remembered the lightning to come, watching Mary's back as they trudged up the beach. She was in step between the twins who had their hands in their pockets. Evie smiled as the first rumble of thunder growled in the distance.

* * *

><p>Mary looked into the vanity mirror, gradually running a brush through her salt dried tangles. She was again reminded how every day was a good hair day in a cartoon, as her locks were quick to bounce back to life with a little care. The plain white sundress she had on was almost reminiscent of the smocks Tamaki made them wear, making her want to smile.<p>

The storm outside was rumbling as it grew in intensity. The clouds hadn't broke yet, but flashes of lightning threatened to bring the rain pouring down. As it was still warm out, the girls left the window open to their dim room Kyoya told them they could use. Cool wind blew the curtains up like ghosts.

The sound of static could be heard every few seconds as Evie pressed the blank button of the Flashmatic and twirled before the floor length mirror. Her dress was blue, it was pink, it was green, it was grey. It had one shoulder, it had a belt, it had a bow. Eventually, she decided on a low collar, thin strapped sundress with a wide bodice wrap. She flicked through colors like she was changing a television channel, being engulfed in snow each time.

"Can we die here?" Mary asked in a quiet voice.

Evie was so startled, that she settled on her dress being blue and brown and nearly dropped the remote. _What is she saying? Does she want to… stay?_

Mary set down the hair brush, still staring intently at her cartoon reflection. She touched her cheek almost like she would go through it like a mirage. "Is it possible? To die? What would happen to us?"

Taking a calmer breath, Evie set the Flashmatic down on a dressing table. "I don't know… It's kind of scary to think about. Would we just be brought back to our own world? Or would we just… not exist?"

"Right," Mary said. With decision, she stood and smoothed out her fluffy skirt. "It just… felt so _real_. Under the water. The weight pressing in all around. How my lungs ached. The salt on my tongue. I actually thought… I was going to die…"

Evie put her hand on the door knob with a firm nod. "We'd better get some food in us, huh? Not think about it…"

Mary had to agree. She closed the door behind them and walked down the hall towards the staircase. It was a very Western styled building, so it was easy for them to navigate. Mary held her hands behind her back, scrunching her brow in thought. "That's another thing…"

"What?" Evie asked, worried she was going to bring up more dire thoughts.

"I wonder why I'm not tired yet."

Evie blinked. _That's right… and she was only just slightly hungry despite the sparse amount of food they tried. Why was that? It felt like they had been in this show for days!_

Mary's face turned green as they rounded the corner down the stairs to the dining room. Evie wrinkled her nose distastefully, but neither girl would admit they didn't like seafood. The smell of it engulfed them as they stepped into the bright room, hearing the hosts chatting lightly.

"Hey, guys!" Honey greeted them like any other day, waving from his seat. The girls appreciated the casual clothes the boys wore, finally making them look like regular people. "Have a seat wherever! We've got all sorts of stuff to try for dinner~"

Kyoya was missing from the group, making the girls exchange terrified looks. _That's not happening already is it!? And to who?!_

They stiffly found seats around the table. Mary purposely sat down in an empty seat beside Honey, but she later regretted it as she looked up and was forced to face the twins. Their hands were obviously bruised now from the beatings they dealt, but she wondered why no one was saying anything about it. It was so uncharacteristically quiet.

Evie plopped herself at the end chair across from Mori and next to Tamaki where Mary more or less forced her to sit. She refused to look at the trembling boy next to her. She eyed the serving placed in front of her, not one for crab legs. _Well, she wasn't that hungry anyways…_

Everyone listened to the clock in the hall tick the seconds by.

_Someone needs to say something…_ Mary thought with her hands folded in her lap. _Tamaki needs to apologize to Evie, but… I feel like she needs to apologize, too. Or at least thank him for saving her life…_

"I'm not hungry," Evie broke the silence by firmly standing. She couldn't take sitting next to him anymore – it was going to drive her crazy.

"Evie, wait…!" Mary tried to call her friend back, but there was no point. Not long after, Tamaki followed her out.

Mary sighed, looking down at her shoes.

"Maybe you should apologize, too, Mary-chan…"

She turned to Honey in surprise. "Me?"

The twins rested their chins in their hands. Hikaru shrugged. "Well, yeah. He risked his own life for you two, and you worried him sick."

"That father complex he has isn't too far from the truth. He really does care," Kaoru said.

"He cares about all of us!" Honey smiled wide, hugging his stuffed bunny close. "That's why he's the king!"

Mary bit her lip, feeling foolish now. She had to have the stuff she should have known about Tamaki be explained to her in laymen's terms. She stood. "I better find him and apologize."

"Yay~!" Honey and the twins celebrated, the whole group following her to the door. Mary found herself in the embarrassing group hug, but at least she wasn't nauseas from over-eating. Mori only participated by giving her head a kind pat, but the twins and Honey were squeezing the life out of her.

"Okay, okay! Jeez, let me go!" Mary spun out of the embrace. She flipped her hair out of her face and laughed. Giving them a thumbs up, she ran down the hall where Tamaki disappeared.

Evie was so disconcerted from the dining room that she blindly ran straight up the stairs. All of the bedroom doors were left open except for two at the end. Remembering that Mary closed the door after they left, she ran to the first she saw and opened it wide.

The door swung shut and clicked behind her. Confused that this room didn't have a vanity on the left, Evie faltered. The door to the bathroom opened, and Kyoya stepped out. Only wearing a towel.

There was no stopping the shriek as Evie quickly turned, opened the door, and slammed it back shut. She slid against it, holding her heart. "Well… this was much more awkward than the original…"

She crawled across the hall to her own room, opening the door and going in. Still on her hands and knees until she felt it was safe to stand again, Evie took up the Flashmatic from the dresser. Its page of codes was kept underneath it. She eyed the rewind button. _Maybe I can make it so that never happened…_

Evie tentatively went back out into the hall and held up the Flashmatic at Kyoya's door. _Now I'll just wait here and rewind until I just never come through this door! Perfect!_

The door creaked open, revealing Kyoya fully clothed minus his glasses. He stared down at her horrified face in puzzlement. "If you're planning on shooting that thing, do it to your own door."

Evie's face darkened just remembering the towel, and she looked down. She lowered the remote. "I'm sorry… I just didn't want that to have happened."

"You're a very timid girl to be practicing martial arts," he commented dryly, walking back into his room.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Evie followed him in without a second thought to defend herself. Again, the door swung shut behind her. She crossed her arms. "You think I can't?"

"I didn't say that," Kyoya rifled around one of his dresser drawers before he pulled out a thin, glasses cloth. "I've seen Honey-senpai. I know that strength comes in many forms."

Evie's temper cooled, and she went to sit at the table. She suddenly felt like she had to talk to him. "Do you think what I did was wrong?"

"Reckless," he provided, making her feel meek. He picked up his glasses and made small circles on the lenses as he cleaned them. "But justified. You used a skill you possessed, and you solved a problem. I see nothing wrong with that."

"But I really worried everyone…" Evie put her arms on the table and rested her chin on them. The lightning outside flashed with a particularly loud crack of thunder. "Tamaki-senpai was really mad."

Kyoya smirked at the 'senpai' moniker she was still using. He put his glasses back on, making his eyes look colder. "Tamaki frequently over-reacts."

Evie gave him a small smile. "Aw… you're being the bad guy to justify his point. You know it was wrong to worry him, but you're letting me vent anyways. I wonder why." She had to admit though, she preferred this method to the rape-y one he used on Haruhi. She shuddered.

He stood there stoically staring at her.

She fiddled with the Flashmatic, looking over the paper. She held it in front of her, not able to make sense of the numbers herself. She understood what they did and how they were grouped, but why these numbers? Was there a pattern?

Kyoya approached, looking over her shoulder. "May I see that?"

Though they had been fighting to keep it a secret all day, Evie saw no harm in Kyoya. In fact, he might understand something about it that they didn't. She willingly handed it over.

"All the fuss over this?" He seemed to be visibly disturbed holding the paper, almost like he could tell it was from another world. His eyes were unreadable from the lamp light reflecting off his glasses. He handed it back to her. "It's Greek to me."

She smiled sadly. They sat in quiet, listening to the rain coming down outside and beating the windows with questions hanging between them. Until the door flew open.

* * *

><p>The hallway was dark. Mary hopped for the stairs, grabbing the banister and swinging herself around to ascend. She stopped. Squinting down the hallway of the first floor, she saw a figure huddled on the ground, leaning against the wall. She left the staircase and meandered over.<p>

Tamaki was watching the rain crashing down outside, holding his knees where he sat. He turned when the floorboards under Mary creaked. "Mary?"

"It's awfully dark…" she observed, holding her dress and cautiously sitting herself down beside him. A flash of lightning cracked through the air, lighting up the hall like a camera flash. Mary flinched.

Tamaki looked away from the window again. "Are you scared of storms?"

"No…" Mary shook her head. "But they catch me by surprise sometimes. They should be scarier, though. They're out of anyone's control, and they can be deadly. Since they happen so often though, I feel like you become numb to their danger. You forget how scary they are."

They were quiet for a moment. Tamaki sighed.

"She's really not mad at you, you know," she ventured, patting her skirt down to make sure it stayed up on her knees. "It's not like you're psychic, and Evie hardly looks like a revered fighter."

"Revered?" He asked.

"Three golds and a silver!" Mary proudly told him. "She walked away with bronze at the championship. Though I don't think she's as good as Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai, given the time and leadership, she could be close to their class."

Tamaki pouted as another roar of thunder grumbled outside. The palm trees swayed back and forth in the wind, illuminated by a distant lightning strike.

Mary tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're really sorry, Tamaki… for worrying you so much. We didn't say so, but we're really grateful. You didn't have to do what you did."

Tamaki looked at her, surprised. But his expression said he had to jump, too. Mary remembered. _Because he cared. I guess we're part of his family now…_

Biting her lip, Mary removed her hand and started to get up. Suddenly, Tamaki reached out and pulled her into his shoulder, giving her a side hug. Mary wove her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him back, hardly believing she was hugging Tamaki Suoh.

Her face pink, Mary smiled. "Thanks, senpai. I promise we won't worry you again. But…"

He pulled away, ruffling her hair like she was a good pet. Mary laughed and moved his hand away. "I bet Evie needs a hug, too."

"That's right!" His eyes lit up in excitement, going back to his old self. He stood, and though it was hard to see in the dark, he took Mary's hand and pulled her towards the staircase. "Evie~! Evie!"

"Evie!" Mary called, too. She was smiling so wide, she felt like she would have trouble breathing as she took the steps two at a time to keep up with Tamaki's pulling.

They paused outside their door, hearing voices across the hall. Mary and Tamaki exchanged a confused look before opening the door opposite of the girls' room.

Tamaki practically kicked the door down when he saw both Evie and Kyoya were inside. Mary was glad to see a very different scene than the one between Kyoya and Haruhi. Tamaki dove forward and was surprised and ecstatic when Evie met him halfway. They collided in a hug, and Tamaki spun her around.

"I'm sorry I underestimated you!" Tamaki shouted his apology.

"I'm sorry, senpai! I won't worry you ever again!" Evie promised, still being spun into sickness.

Mary gave Kyoya a knowing look. She didn't think she'd be a mediator with him, but it felt right. To her delight, Kyoya had a small smile. He nodded to her.

"What's next, Mary?" Evie was finally freed from Tamaki, so she ran to her friend expecting her to know the episode list from off the top of her head.

"I don't know…!" Mary complained, wracking her brains. "Lemme see… episode eight… nine…?"

"You're leaving?!" Tamaki lost it. He protectively and lovingly put Mary in a headlock. "But when will we see you again?!"

"I… I don't know! I'm trying to think!" She griped.

"And you're all still in my room," Kyoya perceived with mild annoyance.

There was some arguing as Evie tried to pull Mary away from Tamaki's grabby grasp, and the girls tried to get ahold of the Flashmatic to get to the next episode. This ended with Tamaki running around the room in circles with it to keep it away from them in a botched attempt at forcing them to stay on vacation. Eventually, Kyoya escaped his own room and looked elsewhere for peace and quiet. The other hosts heard the commotion and hurried to the scene. Unfortunately, they were quick to side with Tamaki. Everyone played keep away from Evie and Mary until the credits rolled.


	16. A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy?

Yay, second chapter of the day! Gotta keep rolling on. :) Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p><strong>A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy?<strong>

* * *

><p>By the time the Flashmatic was back in their possession, there was so much confusion and bickering between Mary and Evie that there was little time to fast forward. After being pulled through the entire theme song again, the girls were left lacking in energy in Ouran's busy, school courtyard.<p>

"Wow…" Evie looked around, hurrying to take up their bag before a pair of students stepped on it. She looked around at all of the unfamiliar uniforms. "What the hoopla is going on?"

"Ooooohh," Mary groaned, throwing a hand over her face. Evie zapped her with the Flashmatic, putting their shorter Ouran uniform on her before doing the same to herself. "I know what this is…"

"What?" Evie persisted, eying the other uniforms with short skirts and efficient tops enviously now. _They had every right to cut up these yellow dresses – they were so impractical! Good luck sitting at their tiny desk chairs with such an enormous skirt…_

"Hello? Are you listening?" Mary snapped her fingers under Evie's nose. "I said this is the first Lobelia episode."

"Aw!" Evie whined, shoulders slumping as she threatened to throw herself to the grass. "Can't we skip it?"

"These must be all of the schools setting up their performances…" Mary ignored her friend, looking around at all of the busy bodies working. A boys' choir passed, singing a classical ballad. She frowned. "I don't see Lobelia anywhere though… We better keep an eye out."

"But why can't we just skip it?" Evie repeated, running to catch up with Mary's determined steps. She had a destination, and she was rapidly getting there. "This whole episode is annoying and offensive and strange – and there's no Haruhi to harass! And I so call dibs on not being the one Benibara saves."

Mary was surprised. "But don't you want to see the hosts dressed as knights?"

Evie paused.

"And more importantly – girls?"

Evie laughed, now beating Mary's pace. "Okay, I've gotta see that! Hurry up!"

The girls ran through the crowd, not realizing the girlish screams accumulating. Soon, they were caught before a long line of fans waving and cheering to a group walking up the center to a stage still being prepped for a big, musical number.

"Look!" Mary hooked Evie's elbow, forcing her to stop. "It's the Zuka Club!"

"Really?" Evie peered over the heads of the crowd. She only got a glimpse of Benio since she was the tallest. "Huh… Looks like they're just doing their own thing. We better get out though before they see us. Just in case."

"Okay," Mary agreed, ducking down and pushing through the girls.

The mob moved with the club, so the grass was soon clear again. Evie and Mary hurried in between the stone pillars and dashed through the open doors. They raced down the hall and up the steps and didn't stop until they were at Music Room #3.

"Ready?" Evie asked, holding one door handle in her fists.

"Go!" Mary nodded, pushing on the other.

They opened the doors together and hopped inside. There were few guests today, as most of the girls were outside, and the hosts were still prepping. But the boys were still ready and waiting as ridiculous rose petals kicked up and spun in the air, and the group posed dressed as knights in shining armor before them.

"Welcome!" The chorus came out automatically. After seeing who it was, the boys relaxed from their set up.

"Surprise!" Evie waved, already having to bat off Tamaki at the door.

"My princesses!" Tamaki bowed before ruthlessly tackling them for hugs. They were especially painful with his authentic red armor get up.

"We're back again!" Mary smiled, catching the little pink knight Honey as he came to greet each girl in turn. "How long has it been this time?"

"Well, you missed a week of class," Kaoru filled in, adjusting his enormous aqua hat.

"A whole week?" Evie despaired, thinking of the lessons she actually liked.

Honey swung on her arms next, spinning her around. "Don't worry, Evie-chan! Takashi and I will help with all of the stuff you missed!"

"Yeah," Mori said, especially suited to his black armor as he played around with Tamaki's discarded sword.

Mary stifled a laugh at the silly white feathers on each twin's hat. "Uh… You'll have to – haha – help me catch up!"

"What's so funny?" Hikaru glowered.

"Nothing!" Mary squeaked, calming her giggles.

A powerful motor shook the ground beneath them, and strings of randomly bouncing electricity burst as a platform rose. Renge appeared, holding a cup of instant coffee she was quick to fake taste and toss behind her, shattering the china. She clapped her hands. "Aha! Just in time!"

"Hey, Renge!" Evie greeted.

"In time for what?" Mary was suspicious.

"Follow me, girls! We have to get you dressed up for today's cultural club festivities!" Renge hopped off of her platform and ushered the girls towards it. She bopped Tamaki over the head when he tried to interfere.

"Dressed up?" Mary asked, noting Renge's purple kimono. She wouldn't mind trying out a kimono, but she hardly needed to go with Renge to wear one. She had the Flashmatic after all.

"Where are we going?!" Evie wailed as they were thrown on Renge's stand, and the motor revved up again to take them down.

"But they just got here!" Tamaki pleaded, tears clinging to the corners of his eyes as he froze with his hand reaching out for them.

The floor closed with a loud _thump!_ The tiles were all back in place, and things were just as quiet as before the girls came in.

"I wouldn't worry, boss," the twins were already back to playing video games. "It's probably just girl stuff."

"But Daddy wants to come…"

* * *

><p>"Seriously, what's going on, Renge?" Mary asked, following behind the girl as they walked.<p>

It seemed Renge had a whole network of secret hatches and powerful motors to lift her stages wherever she pleased. The girls wondered when she had all of this installed, and who knew about it.

"We're having a little skit at the cultural festival today," Renge explained, pulling a lever and raising another stage. The ground shook, and the girls left the dark tunnel to appear in a small room that might've been a girls' locker room. "We need to make sure the boys impress and astound! I'm going to need your help with that, but I need you to get dressed first. Now let's change you girls into something more suitable for knights, say… princesses?"

Evie was excited to oblige, taking the Flashmatic from the bag at Mary's waist and pointing it at herself. "I know just the thing! This is so fun!"

Renge watched in a mixture of emotions, eyebrow twitching, as Evie changed clothes. Her dressed flared out in a big yellow hoop skirt with orange sashes. A green emerald that shone on her bodice, long white gloves, and a small crown completed her look. Her hair feathered out in layers around her shoulders.

"If only it were that simple for everyone…" Renge muttered.

Mary had her arms crossed, more on the verge of laughter at Evie's dress choice. "Why are you dressed like Princess Daisy?"

Evie blinked like it was obvious. "Well, since I have brown hair, and you have blonde hair, I thought we could be Peach and Daisy."

It was Mary's turn to blink. She stepped forward and grabbed the Flashmatic from Evie. "Oh my God – you're a genius; we're going to be so cute."

Evie clapped as Mary was hit with the remote's magic, and her dress became fluffy and pink. The same as Daisy in almost all but color, Mary looked down at the sapphire affixed to her gown's front and the yellow tiara resting on her head. She squealed. "Ah, we look great!"

"Yay!" Evie danced with her friend, running around in circles.

Renge watched them with an unamused, expressionless face. At long last, she interrupted their happy dance by pulling out two damp cloths. "Well! Every princess needs a dragon, right?"

"Dragon?" They asked in unison, turning to Renge in worry.

"Yay, chloroform~!" Renge pounced and covered their noses with the drug. The girls barely had time to struggle before they were feeling woozy. The last thing they heard was Renge's evil villain laugh.

* * *

><p>"—ary! Mary, wake <em>up!<em> Mary!"

Mary blinked her drowsy eyes, feeling sick to her stomach. The blood had rushed to her head, so she felt dizzy and heavy. She was forced to come to her senses when she felt her whole body sway, her eyes going wide.

"Mm! Mm-mm, mmf!" Mary tried screaming, but she had a gag in her mouth and a piece of duct tape over her lips. She was dangling by a rope in a dark room. She couldn't tell how far the floor was below her, but by the breeze and her instincts, it felt like quite a long way.

"Ugh, finally!" Evie sighed, swinging on a rope beside her. "Don't struggle so much – you'll only go around in circles."

Mary was finding this out after kicking and writhing, only succeeding in spinning her rope and making herself dizzier. The rope wound about her body like a thick casing all along her stomach down her pelvis. Her arms were firmly underneath at her sides. Completely hog tied.

"Are you done yet?" Evie asked, swaying slightly from the fuss her friend was making.

"Mmf mm, hrm?" Mary asked.

"I don't know where we are," she answered.

"Mm-grm hrm mm!" She complained.

Evie smirked. "Renge said you were talking too much."

"Mrf?!" Mary gasped.

Evie nodded. "I don't know what you were saying – I was out cold! At least your hands aren't tied behind your back as well as the hog tie. Apparently, I hit her, so she had me double tied."

Mary laughed.

Bright sunlight suddenly hit the floor below them, making each girl gasp at how truly far down it was. A curtain was rising. They were on a stage. A castle tower prop was behind them, and they soon heard footsteps clambering up the stairs.

"Ahahahaha!" Renge appeared at the window like a maniacal Rapunzel.

"Mm-mm!" Mary scolded her, swirling around and around as she tried to see the girl.

"Holding up, ladies?" She asked sweetly. "Good! Because you're on! I've just finished telling the hosts you've been ruthlessly kidnapped by madmen, so they should be here to rescue you any minute."

"Madmen is right…" Evie muttered, squinting at the light pouring onto the set. They could hear the excited chatters of a gathered audience, and both girls' eyes went wide.

"They haven't a clue this is a play, so their reactions should be really realistic!" Renge nearly swooned. "Ah, the knights in shining armor rushing in to save the damsels! It's almost too much – I could eat three bowls of rice!"

"You mean they didn't know about this?!" Evie asked, astonished. "Renge, they're going to put two and two together when they see these phony props, an audience, and the sand bags keeping us up here."

"Pish-posh!" Renge belittled her fears. "This is going to be the event of the day!"

"Mrm hrm mer gm!" Mary threatened, thrashing in her bonds.

"Hush, nameless fill ins!" Renge swatted her with a rolled up newspaper. Mary went spinning until she was sure she was going to vomit despite the gag. "Now play nice – I can see the boys coming. I have to go get my hired actors ready!"

"Wait! Renge!" Evie called, but the girl was cackling down the stairs.

The curtain was fully up now, and the hot spotlights accentuated their ridiculous predicament. The audience gasped when they saw the girls strung up like birthday decorations.

"Wow, are they stunt artists?"

"I don't think they're real…"

"Where's the Host Club?"

Evie and Mary glowered at their audience's concerns. At the same time, they heard shouting they'd recognize anywhere.

"Mary! Evie!" Tamaki wound his way through the crowd, still in his silly chainmail regalia. He leapt onto the stage to a roar of applause he ignored by habit. "There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

"After we got this ransom note, we thought it was a big joke," Kaoru and Hikaru were close behind the king, having to hold their large hats on or otherwise lose them as they ran. "But it seems you guys really are in 'dire peril,' as the author put it."

Evie and Mary both exchanged withered looks.

"Evie-chan!" Honey gasped as Mori lifted him onto the stage and followed suit. He gasped. "And Mary-chan! Oh, that looks owie…"

"Whatever shenanigans you've been mixed up in, they need to stop wasting our time," Kyoya carefully chose his words in front of the audience. He pushed his glasses up his nose. "We'd appreciate your captors letting you down."

"Never!" A male voice declared. It was soon followed by helmet wearing knights all in black coming out from behind the back curtain. There were five, and they all held swords at the ready to defend their castle and prisoners. "The princesses are ours!"

Renge leaned forward in her balcony seat in anticipation. The girls in the audience did the same. "This is it…!"

Tamaki stared, frozen faced, lowering his sword prop. Honey looked to Mori who was looking back at him with equal bewilderment. Kyoya glared. The twins cracked first. They erupted into fits of boisterous laughter, holding their sides with tears streaming out their eyes.

"This is just too great!" Hikaru threw his head back.

Kaoru wiped his eyes, "What do you expect us to do? Storm your _prop?!"_

"Mm!" Mary whined.

"Come on, guys, get us down!" Evie added.

"Ah, I see you gagged the pink one," Hikaru noticed, new laughs forming. His ribs hurt from laughing so much. "Good call!"

"Mrm!" Mary roared, turning red with anger and embarrassment as she futilely kicked at the air.

"Are they for real, Kyoya?" Tamaki pointed his sword at the actors ready for battle before them.

"They've kidnapped the girls, so whether or not they're actors should be beside the point, no?" He seemed terribly bored with this whole charade, but he was interestingly enough not making any moves to stop it.

"Morons…" Renge grumbled, lowering her opera glasses. She rang a little bell with a tissue to her eye. "I feared it would come to this!"

At hearing the signal, the knights sprang forward. The audience gasped as Tamaki caught the first advance, holding his sword at the hilt and at the end in order to push back the black knight's strong offense.

"What's the matter, cowardly red knight?" The villain challenged as the others went after the rest of the Host Club. "Cannot put up a fight?"

Eyes glimmering, Tamaki smiled as he got into the role. "No… but I'm a gentleman!"

The knight went reeling backwards as Tamaki swung back. Half of the girls watching swooned in a dead faint.

Tamaki pointed his sword ahead. "Forward, men! En garde!"

The crowd erupted into deafening cheers as the twins produced rapiers, Mori pulled the shield off of his back along with a long sword, Honey used adorable twin daggers, and Kyoya waited in the background to strategize. They dashed forward and met the rival actors head on.

Swords clashing across the courtyard drew hundreds of curious students to see what was going on over at the Ouran Host Club's display. Arriving late, they were impressed by the choreographed fight of knights for their performance. Cheers and clapping nearly drowned out the steel on steel ringing in the air.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise," Evie remarked.

"Mm-hm! Mmr mmf hm mer!" Mary replied.

Evie laughed. "You said it!"

Noticing that things had begun to get too violent as Tamaki was now haphazardly flinging his sword around in rage at being unable to get to the girls, Kyoya whipped out his cellphone. He pushed a single button. "I believe things have gone on long enough, Renge."

In no time at all, Ootori police were swarming the scene. The onlookers laughed and hoorayed as the dark knights were forced to the ground and promptly made a show of being arrested. The hosts looked around in confusion as they were cleared up from around them.

"Cut them down," Kyoya indicated the silly princesses still spinning at the wind's command.

"Sir!" The captain saluted. He raised his arm and sliced downwards, and two men carried out the deed.

Evie and Mary sighed in relief when they heard the heavy thumps coming up the tower. Two officers appeared in the window that Renge had been leaning out of.

"Thank goodness! We've been hanging up here for forever – oh, Jesus – what are you doing?!" Evie screamed as they pulled out knives.

The men leaned out the window and cut the ropes free from their sandbag weights. Without the equivalency, the girls went flying back to gravity.

Evie held her breath, but she yelped when she felt strong arms gracefully catch her out of the air. "Mori! Thank goodness!"

The audience went wild as Mori helped untie her and set her on her feet. Honey sped by for the second catch. He got there just in time, holding out his little arms for the 'princess.' "Mary-chan~! Mary-chan~! I've got yo – OOF."

Mary scrambled and rolled off of Honey, though the people were either laughing or 'aw'-ing at his effort. Mori helped Honey to his feet as Evie tore the ropes from Mary.

"Mitsukuni," Mori said, patting him free of dust.

"I'm fine~!" Honey swayed slightly but giggled.

Without thinking, Evie ripped the duct tape from Mary's face. "MMMMMF!"

"Ooo… Sorry…?" She sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

Mary slowly and carefully removed the gag from her mouth, finding the rag dried her tongue, and she was desperate for water. She smacked her lips a few times to test, tossing the rag back stage.

"Better?" Evie asked.

Mary wanted to rip duct tape off of _her_ mouth and ask if she was feeling better, but she took a deep breath and smiled. "Yeah. A little thirsty though."

The girls were distracted by thunderous applause. They turned to the front where Kyoya was leading Renge out to the front by hand where they bowed. Kyoya looked back and beckoned for everyone else to do the same. Everyone quickly dipped their heads as the crowd shouted their praises.

"Come visit the Ouran Host Club," Kyoya announced with his public speaking voice.

"Where every girl will feel like a princess!" Renge finished in her nasally, high tones.

They were given another few rounds of applause before the crowd began to disperse. The Ootori police had released the actors, and they were swarming Renge for extra cash for the beatings they had to take.

"I think I liked you better with the gag," none other than Hikaru approached Mary.

She turned with a smirk, going over his outfit and chuckling again. She flipped his lopsided, decorative white feather up out of his eyes. "I like you better with this stupid feather."

Evie was biting her lip like she was keeping a secret as she swayed behind Kyoya. After dismissing the captain officer, he turned to her. It was obvious he was annoyed by her expression. "What are you smiling about?"

"You should be happy I'm not angry you knew about this all along," Evie said. Of course Kyoya had to be in on it. Renge wouldn't be able to get this past him. Besides, with the hype they created, it was probably the best advertising for the club they'd had in a while.

Kyoya waited for her to stop smiling goofily, but she didn't. Instead, she was poking his arm like she knew something he didn't. "What are you doing?"

"You were so worried!" Evie giggled. She nearly forgot she was still dressed like princess Daisy, as she rocked backwards in her heavy dress. "Sicking your elite police force on those poor actors was quite the over-reaction, don't you think?"

He turned away, taking off the violet breast plate of his costume. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure…" she rolled her eyes, skipping away merrily.

Evie only succeeded in running into the arms of a very worried Tamaki. "You promised! You promised you wouldn't worry Daddy!"

"I tried to explain it was hardly our fault," Mary chuckled, already with battle scars from when Tamaki was hugging the life out of her just moments before. She steadied the crown that was still miraculously on her head.

"Let me go, senpai!" Evie laughed, feeling like that would have to be her new motto since she said it so often.

The girls had somehow had a Lobelia free episode. Perhaps it was the absence of Haruhi. Perhaps it was the fact that the hosts were missing from the club room for half the day, so they couldn't face off and butt heads. Whatever it was, the Mary and Evie were satisfied. They heard the beginnings of the Zuka Club's performance, but they were perfectly happy skipping it.

It wasn't a difficult search for the girls' tote bag, as Renge had left it within the castle tower. Everyone had had their fill of action for the day, so there wasn't much fuss when the girls started punching in numbers on the back of the device.

"When will you be back next~?" Honey watched the portal behind the cardboard castle with wide eyes as Mary let go of the trigger.

"It's a surprise!" Evie said, jumping through with a wave.

Mary's heart seemed to sink to her stomach as unexplainable worry caught her off guard. She didn't know why, but there was something… wrong. And it was just through the portal that Evie had entered.

"Well, are you going to stand here all day?" Hikaru teased.

Kaoru waved her on. "Hurry up, or you'll lose Evie-senpai!"

"Okay, I'm going!" Mary griped, stepping into the color mass. "Jeez, you guys are acting like you know more about this than I do…"

The hosts watched the portal close behind her with the same familiar, light smoke trail rising from the center.


	17. A Day in the Life of!

Hey, you know what else expires on the nineteenth? The milk in my fridge! Reminders of my deadline everywhere YAAAAAAAY.

This is the third update of the day and the last (maybe?!), so head back a few chapters to catch up! :D

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><p><strong>A Day in the Life of…!<strong>

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><p>Mary and Evie wove their way through the school's hallways to get to their separate buildings. As they were in different levels, their classrooms were a good distance apart. The day was cloudy, and there was something decidedly different in the air.<p>

Evie's head almost turned all the way around to follow a girl passing them by in the hall. She giddily shook Mary's shoulder. "Did you see that?!"

"Hm?" Mary asked, long lost in her thoughts.

"That girl! She was wearing our uniform!" Evie said.

Mary stopped and turned around to see. Sure enough, a girl with twin braids was wearing the short yellow skirt, shirt cuffs, and no sleeves dress the girls designed to escape the appointed uniform. The girl met up with a curly-haired friend wearing the dress the same way.

Evie and Mary exchanged a look. Mary let out a laugh. "Who would've thought we'd be such influential delinquents?"

"You should talk!" Evie messed up her friend's hair and continued walking. The bag at her side was considerably lighter with only a few essential notebooks in it. Mary was still only carting around a pencil and a spiral notebook. "You know, I was a really nice, innocent kid before I met you."

"Yeah, and terribly boring," Mary stuck out her tongue.

Evie gave her a swift punch in the shoulder. Mary pretended it didn't hurt and stopped where the hall divided into three. "Hey, see you at lunch?"

"We're just spending the morning in classes and then skipping ahead for the rest of the episode, right?" Evie asked.

Mary nodded. "Yup! Okay, later!"

"See ya!"

As the girls parted, the world seemed to twitch. Almost like a miniature earthquake for just the two of them, the girls staggered, blinded by black and white static ripping through the world for a split second. They turned back to each other with panic etched in their expressions.

"What was that?!" Evie asked, already holding the Flashmatic.

"I don't know… I've been having this weird feeling that—" Mary mumbled, looking around suspiciously. The bells outside gonged in warning for classes to begin. Torn, she shook her head. "I'll talk to you at lunch! If it happens again, find me, and we'll figure this out."

"Okay…" Evie agreed doubtfully. She watched as Mary waved and ran off for Class 1-A. Her own feet picked up speed, so she wouldn't be late to 3-A.

The hall was empty, but the door was still open by the time Evie arrived. She breathed a sigh of relief and slipped in, hurrying to her seat and collapsing just as the professor pulled the door closed.

"Yay, Evie-chan's back!" Honey greeted, chipper as always. "You sure were in a hurry."

"Well, I didn't want to be late!" She chuckled nervously, finding her book of notes she had last time and opened it to a new, blank page.

Mori watched her, noticing something was off. "You alright?"

Evie looked up in surprise. "Oh! I'm fine! I just… I'm fine, that's all. Yeah. I'm good."

Now Honey looked to Mori suspiciously, not believing Evie for a second. There wasn't much they could do though as the teacher wrote on the blackboard and started the lesson.

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><p>"Maybe I should ask for another seat," Mary stared up at the ceiling. Their teacher was droning on in the front, but she couldn't hear a word. The girls in front of her constantly had something to talk about, and the twins were always pestering her somehow.<p>

"Suit yourself," Kaoru shrugged, scratching a doodle deeper into his desktop.

"Yeah, we're not stopping you," Hikaru added with a yawn as he pointlessly stared at the front.

"Every girl in the class would volunteer – you know it, too," Mary rambled, playfully leaning her chair back dangerously far and catching herself with her feet.

The twins were silent. Hikaru ripped out a page from Mary's notebook and started carefully folding a paper airplane.

She smirked, landing her chair hard on all four legs. She uncrossed her arms, stretching them out in front of her. "Then again, I wouldn't get to see you guys do silly things like this."

"Like what?" They asked.

"Like… that you guys parted your hair different and switched seats to throw people off."

Despite the noisy classroom, Mary felt like she could have heard a pin drop between them. They were both intently staring at her, but she was trying to play if off nonchalant by drawing a few trees on her paper.

"How do you do that?" Kaoru asked, sounding like someone had slapped him across the face.

"It's not just me – Evie can tell you apart, too, you know," Mary answered, sketching the bark in on the trunk.

Hikaru was annoyed she seemed to be ignoring them. He scooted his chair closer, taking her pencil out of her hand. He received an annoyed frown in response. "Still – how?"

Mary realized that they hadn't gotten that whole pep talk from Haruhi. _So… did that make it her job? _She pushed her chair back and crossed her arms again. "This is going to be painful for you guys to hear, but you're different people. Crazy, I know, right?"

They watched her, slightly insulted she had put it so bluntly. Feeling guilty, she went on. "I mean, you guys sure look alike, but you're so different. It should be obvious to everybody that it's an individual talking whenever one of you opens your mouth. But you guys live in a world of careless, unobservant people, and I think you enjoy being indistinguishable to them just a little bit. It's not entirely your fault, so… why are you looking at me like that?"

Kaoru turned away to stare at the wall. Hikaru held his head in his chin, unable to continue working on his airplane. Both wore sad frowns, but there were a million thoughts flying behind those fiery eyes.

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><p>"I'm exhausted!" Evie collapsed into her lunch chair. As the girls had different lunchrooms, they decided to switch things up, and Mary went to go eat with the third years. Besides, she wasn't too keen on hanging around the twins after the bombshell she dropped this morning. "There was so much stuff I missed! My brain's been going a mile a minute."<p>

Mary spotted Honey and Mori still in line for food. She was also glad that lunches came with the tuition costs, so they weren't asked to pay up every time they went through the line. She tugged on Evie's shirt cuff. "Did you see it happen again at all?"

"No," Evie shook her head, whispering just in case. "Do you think it was just a fluke?"

"I don't know…" Mary admitted. She took another spoonful of soup, already feeling full. "But I don't want to just ignore it. What do you think it could have been?"

"Well…" Evie pondered, holding a pastry. "It kind of reminded me of when we change our clothes with the Flashmatic. Kind of like snow, you know?"

"Yeah, from an old TV," Mary agreed, setting down her spoon. "But what's the connection? Did you think it has to do with change? We changed too much, and the world just couldn't take it?"

Evie paled. "Gee, I hope not. Especially since it's not that different from the show, you know?"

"Well, if that's what it is, I don't want to be in this world when it caves in. I vote we cut our adventure short if it keeps up," Mary decided, moodily folding her hands under her chin as she looked around the room.

"What? But we've come so far!" Evie said. Watching her friend made her downcast, and she lost her appetite. If it was dangerous, Mary was right – they would have to leave. But it still felt like they were just beginning. They were finally becoming a part of the group.

"Mary-chan! You're eating with us today?" Honey asked, running up and nearly spilling his tray in his eagerness to say hello. Luckily, Mori was there to catch it.

"Yeah, hi, guys!" Mary put on a smile for them.

"Where's Hika-chan and Kao-chan?" Honey looked around like he expected to see them, too.

"Back with the other first years. Why?" She asked, curiously cocking her head.

Honey seemed surprised, but he hopped into his chair and shoved some cake in his mouth. He happily danced for the sugar. "I just thought they'd follow you here, that's all."

Mary gave Evie a look, but she was disturbed to see that Evie apparently agreed with him. She almost wanted to say that they weren't her friends, but that felt wrong now. It wasn't _entirely_ true. They weren't the Three Musketeers she hoped they'd originally be, but she supposed she had a connection to them. Especially after she gave them a blunt version of the sweet 'I-can-tell-you-apart' Haruhi speech.

"You… figure things out?" Mori spoke up suddenly.

Evie had to think a moment as Mary gave her a worried expression, afraid she had confided in them about the troubles with the Flashmatic. She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, actually! There was a misunderstanding with the remote that made me worry, but it's all cleared up. I just misheard something Mary said about it, that's all."

The boys seemed satisfied with this answer. Honey finished off his cake. "That's a relief! We were worried something was wrong."

Mori agreed, starting on his rice. "Yeah."

The girls guiltily let it go, hoping they wouldn't have to lie to them again.

Once lunch break was over, everyone returned to their respective classrooms. Both the twins and Mori and Honey were surprised to find the girls missing from afternoon classes.

Evie and Mary wandered to one of the vastly too large broom closets and shut the door. Evie was egging on her friend to hurry.

"I'm trying! I can barely see the buttons…" Mary complained, angling the remote at different angles to see it better in the dim closet.

"I'm just worried," Evie said, hugging her shoulders. "I'll feel so much better after this whole episode is done with."

Mary had to agree. The feeling that something was wrong kept getting worse the longer they spent in the episode. Like a storm rumbling on the horizon. She hoped that it would go away if they passed it up and moved on.

"There!" Mary punched the fast forward button. As it was the slowest setting, the girls watched as the time sped by. Steadily, the school disappeared, being replaced by lines of the same static as before.

"Look, it's back!" Evie gasped. "Stop here!"

Mary didn't want to, as the static was all she could see now. Still, she heeded her friend and pressed play.

The world shifted back and forth in confusing, blinding dots. Evie reached forward and could barely see her own hand. "What _is_ this?"

Mary gasped. Suddenly, it all started to make sense. "Fujioka! This is the episode where the hosts are supposed to go to her house and meet her dad…"

Evie picked up fast. "And since they don't even know her… this episode just doesn't exist?"

"It seems like it…" Mary attempted to step forward. The world groaned with a strange audio track to protest her moving into it. She yelled in fright and jumped back. "We don't really have much of a choice – we have to skip this episode."

"But is it just this episode?" Evie wrung her hands, tears forming in her eyes. "Or do we need Haruhi to move forward? Are we not good enough? Is the whole show infected like this?"

Mary felt overwhelmed by her questions, wishing to hold her hands over her ears to block out the rushing sound of the bouncing snow. She tightly closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Again, I don't know. But we're going to find out."

Evie dug her nails into the messenger bag's strap, closing her eyes, too. She pulled out her cat Fluffy and hugged him tight for comfort. She couldn't imagine how awful it would be if the world didn't right itself. If they were stuck wandering in distorted static forever. If they had lost their new friends to this endless mass, never to see them again even in their own world. If they had officially succeeded in destroying the Ouran world with their presence there.

Mary forced her eyes open as she pointed the Flashmatic forward. _Come on…_

She pulled the trigger, and the portal appeared directly in front of them, almost as if there was an invisible wall right before their noses. Evie held out her hand to be led, too scared to see what would happen. Mary took her wrist and walked into the next episode. With any luck, they would make it out on a sunnier side…


	18. Big Brother is a Prince!

Well, I was jump tackled by life, but I've managed to dust myself off. I'm ready to get things done again! And, yeah, I've missed my deadline. By a long shot. But I'm still here holding on! And happy belated birthday, Evie! Now she's much, much, _much_ too old for this. My age! xD

Also, this chapter is the devil. It was erased _twice_ before I could finish it, so I'm just glad it's over and we can move on to bigger, better things! Hear, hear.

Thanks to those who reviewed, namely MarshallAlexandraAndersen and plume-noire6! Thank you very much; your kind words help keep me going. I've got this nasty habit of making cliffhangers, and then walking away, and I'm very sorry for that. Totally not intentional! But I'll quit wasting time and give you a chapter. :)

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><p><strong>Big Brother is a Prince!<strong>

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><p>Mary squinted, reaching blindly ahead at the swirling colors she was stepping into. She tilted her head in confusion that mixed with relief. Her shoe touched grass, and she smiled. "It's okay…"<p>

Excited and just as relieved as her friend, Evie opened her eyes. She rapidly blinked against the light to adjust her vision to the familiar Ouran courtyard.

The birds chirped, and crickets hummed in the grassy gardens. A soft, regal melody played in the distance. A particularly fat cat casually crossed their path to which the girls watched it go by in silence.

Once the tail disappeared behind a bush, Mary snapped her fingers. "That's it!"

"We're in the Nekozawa episode?" Evie asked, putting a hand on her hip as she looked around.

"No. Well, yes, but… it was what was wrong with the last episode," Mary said, growing quiet.

"Other than the scary static?" Evie tilted her head.

"There was no music."

Evie listened, hearing the familiar orchestral melodies constantly playing to fill in the quiet space. She gaped at her friend. "I can't believe I didn't notice! You're right – there wasn't any music!"

"Do you think that means…?" Mary prompted. She took up the canvas bag from Evie and slung it around her shoulders, pulling her loose hair free from the strap.

"Whenever we don't hear music…" Evie surmised, carefully wording her deduction, "that means that there's something wrong with the episode?"

"That's my guess," Mary shrugged in agreement as the pair started to walk towards the nearest entrance.

Evie still held onto her stuffed cat, not bothering to put him back into the bag yet. She skipped to keep up with her friend's fast pace. "So what do you want to do this episode? Isn't it kind of weird we're almost at the halfway point?"

"Very weird!" Mary said. She scuffed her shoe on a garden stone. "I don't know… should we just wait and see how things go like usual?"

"I suppose," Evie hummed. "I'd just hate to waste any more time, you know? Clock's a ticking!"

"Big sister?"

Both girls stopped and turned at the familiar, high-pitched baby voice. There on the path behind them ran a little girl with matching pigtails atop her blonde head. She came to a halt and took a deep breath, twiddling her fingers and rocking on her heels. Her eyes were focused on Mary.

"Uh…?" Evie nudged her friend, noticing the intense gaze between the blondes. "Is this her?"

"Who else? But best not to freak her out…" Mary whispered. She knelt down to the elementary girl's height, squatting and holding her skirt close. She set the bag down at her side. "Hi, there! What's your name?"

"I'm Kirimi! You're blonde!" She pointed, getting straight to the point.

It was a good thing Kirimi wasn't insulted by Mary's terrible baby voice, but Evie was already rolling her eyes at it. Mary smiled. "Yeah, I am."

"You must be my big sister! Yay! Big sister!" Kirimi squealed with joy, hurling herself at Mary.

Mary staggered back and fell, catching the girl in a hug. She looked up at Evie with a baffled expression. She tapped the girl's shoulder as she continued to cling. "But don't you have a big brother?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know I get a big sister, too!" Kirimi said, squishing Mary's neck tighter. "Yay! Sister! Sister!"

"Hold up, shorty," Mary's voice broke back into her usual, sarcastic drawl. She pulled Kirimi away to speak to her face to face. "Not every blonde person's your sibling. You'd have a giant, Nazi family."

"You're not… my, my… onee-chan…?" Kirimi's wide blue eyes filled with tears like a dam ready to burst.

"Don't be so harsh with her!" Evie scolded, slapping Mary's shoulder. She stuffed her cat into the bag and hoisted it up, taking it back from Mary.

"Well, what am I supposed to tell her?" Mary argued. "'Of course, I'm your big sister?'"

"Yay, big sister~!" Kirimi celebrated, taking the sarcastic example as a confession. She latched back onto Mary in a hug.

"Now look what you've done…" Mary grumbled, forced to stand and carry the little girl. She puffed out her cheeks. "She's heavier than I thought!"

Evie giggled, walking to the door and holding it open. "We'll show you where your brother is, Kirimi, okay?"

"Yay!" Kirimi cheered again. She let Mary carry her, glad to be saved from the long walk through the winding and mysterious labyrinth of the high school halls. She leaned her head against Mary's shoulder, fiddling with her dress collar. "Big brother's a prince… he's handsome and regal and all of the girls love him."

"All important things," Mary rolled her eyes.

"Will you?! Jeez, you're terrible with kids," Evie reprimanded, holding her arms out.

Mary pried Kirimi off and passed her over to Evie. "Never said I was good! You know how bad of an influence I am on normal people. Most people don't trust me enough around children, let alone taking care of them and interacting and shiz."

"Touché," Evie nodded.

"Big sister!" Kirimi whined, reaching over Evie's shoulder for Mary.

"Calm down, shorty, this is, uh… my valet," Mary provided, swinging her arms back and forth, enjoying the freedom.

"Wow, thanks," Evie stuck out her tongue.

"Mush!" Kirimi giggled, patting Evie's head.

It wasn't long before the girls made it to Music Room 3. The Dark Magic Club's door was sometimes in there, and it was definitely going to be there if Kirimi was in the episode. Or, so they assumed. It was their best shot at ending this plot point fast in order to get back to their story-crushing shenanigans.

When they opened the door, rose petals and booming string music greeted them. Though Mary's and Evie's faces deadpanned at today's costumes, Kirimi's eyes lit up.

"It's the police!"

"Those badges are plastic," Mary blatantly informed as Evie set Kirimi gently down on the floor.

"It's Mary-chan and Evie-chan!" Honey jumped and clapped in excitement.

Kaoru twirled a police stick, smirking as he did so. "We were wondering when you'd come around again."

"You're starting to sound like you get bored without us," Mary teased, crossing her arms.

Hikaru was juggling a pair of fake handcuffs. "Not many people around here are very entertaining."

"BDSM!" Kirimi pointed at the police accessories with Mary and the twins between them. All three jumped back in shock and matching red faces at the suggestion.

"Forgot that vocabulary of hers…" Mary muttered as the little girl tottered off to harass someone else.

No one seemed to notice Kirimi suddenly ogling Tamaki like he was a blond unicorn with wings and free ice cream. Mary punched Hikaru in the arm as a greeting (one he was sure to gripe about), and Evie received a pat on the head from Mori and, humorously, Honey as well. Kyoya was staring at Kirimi, going through his mental data bank of names to determine whose daughter she was.

"We came looking for Nekozawa. Isn't he around?" Evie asked Kyoya since he was the most likely to know.

"That's the big scoop? What do you want with Nekozawa-senpai?" Hikaru asked. The twins were obviously disappointed as the resident Goth kid didn't sound like an exciting adventure. Unless they were sicking a flashlight on him, that is.

"Big brother~!" Kirimi made a running dive for Tamaki, and he quickly caught her, but he had to fall backwards to do so. He was looking much like Mary had when the same thing happened to her.

"She's convinced all blondes are her siblings," Mary provided with a chuckle.

"Onee-chan~?" The twins asked, smirking.

Mary pounded their heads as they whined about her resort to violence. "I won't tolerate it from you two – you're not cute!"

"You're so cute~!" Tamaki echoed and swung Kirimi around and around in giddy circles as she giggled. "Of course I'll be you big brother! I've always wanted a little sister!"

Mary shrugged when Evie gave her a look. Evie rolled her eyes and marched up to the king to stop his incessant spinning. Tamaki and Kirimi both looked down at the brunette who had him by the shoulder. "Senpai, we need to find her _real_ brother. You're only going to make things more difficult!"

Tamaki squeezed her protectively, and Kirimi latched onto him in turn. "But why…? Are you jealous of having a new, little sister?"

"What?" Evie gaped, standing back and holding her hands up in surrender. "N-no way! And that's not how families work anyways – she'd be my aunt!"

Tamaki threw his arm around Evie, extending it into a group hug. Kirimi ruffled Evie's hair and laughed. "Don't worry! Daddy doesn't love you any less!"

"You're not my dad!" Evie protested, completely engulfed by the two and quickly turning red in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.

While the hosts rolled their eyes and chuckled at their boss' antics – both typical reactions to his usual behavior, Mary found she wasn't laughing with them this time. She watched Evie struggling against Tamaki and Kirimi trying to integrate her into their fake, little family and squishing the life out of her, and Mary felt sudden apprehension. Almost like when she noticed the music had gone off in the last episode. There was something unsettling…

A voice next to her broke her from her thoughts. Kyoya had his notebook closed, and he had his cell phone out. "I'll see what I can do about getting the Nekozawas to retrieve the young Kirimi-chan. Did she walk all of the way to the high school alone?"

"Seems like it," Mary said, winding her hands behind her back and straightening her posture. This wasn't a good episode for them to be in. _The siblings needed help, sure, but could they do it without Haruhi?_ The methods the other hosts used to get the two to compromise were a bit barbaric, and Mary was never a good babysitter. _And Renge just made everything in this episode worse, didn't she?_ She bit her lip, turning away from the spectacle. "Um… Kyoya-senpai?"

His glasses glinted as his head turned her way.

She avoided looking at him. "Maybe… that's not the best idea."

"Have something else in mind?" Kyoya asked, snapping his phone shut. He gestured to the three who were still squabbling, now with the twins involved to poke fun at Evie as well. "I see no other option unless you want to delude yourself into thinking she can stay with a host club. Especially with Tamaki as her primary caregiver."

Mary wrinkled her nose. "No, not that. Just… let me find Nekozawa. I'm sure Evie can look after Kirimi with some sense in the meantime. I just think it's best if we talk to them separately. As polar opposites, it's difficult to keep them in the same room at this point, let alone have a civil conversation."

"Perhaps you have a point," Kyoya mulled this over with a hand to his chin. He smiled. "Very well, fair enough. If memory serves, the Black Magic Club should still be having their meeting. If you hurry, you should be able to find Nekozawa-senpai before he leaves."

"Great, thanks!" Mary smiled, finally looking him in the eye. "Would you mind keeping an eye on Evie for me? I trust her with Kirimi, but I don't trust the twins around her."

Kyoya studied her skeptically. "You're still miffed about that maid outfit."

"Forever grudge," she nodded, saluting him with two fingers. "Thanks, senpai!"

"Whoa, where's Mary going?" Hikaru looked up. Kaoru stopped chanting 'pervert' at a seething Tamaki and followed his brother's gaze.

"Don't read the kid any hentai!" Mary waved to Evie and ran out the door by herself. Those who caught what she said blanched at the idea, most of them unknowing that Kirimi was into some pretty messed up shit.

"Where are you going?!" Evie asked, breaking away from Tamaki.

Honey and Mori were close enough to the conversation to be able to explain. "She's off to find Kirimi-chan's big brother!"

"Yeah," Mori put in his two cent affirmation.

"B-bu-but…" Tamaki blubbered. He hadn't been a big brother for five minutes, and it was already being taken away from him.

"Mary! Mary, wait!" Evie shouted. When that garnered no response, she turned back to see Tamaki and Kirimi wide-eyed at her, heads comically tilting together. She stomped her foot in understanding. "She just left me here! With _you!_"

Tamaki took no offense to the accusation. "Nothing to fear – Daddy's still here!"

"Play house! House!" Kirimi clapped. Kyoya went to his laptop before he could be called over to play the 'Mommy' again.

"Ooo, are we babysitters?" Honey asked, flowers dancing around his person as he hopped up and down. "We're going to need cake!"

"Yeah," Mori turned to fetch the tea things with Honey marching proudly behind him.

Evie looked around like she was in slow motion. Mori was piling up sugary desserts on the table, and Honey already had a mouthful. Tamaki was looking aghast as Kirimi cheered for a harem, and Kyoya wisely kept out of all of it at a safe, busy distance with his work. The last thing she needed was a powerful motor to—

"Hahahahaha~!" Renge's signature laugh echoed throughout the room.

Evie wildly looked around and found the spot of the floor that was parting so the girl could emerge on her massive platform. Being a cartoon, Evie was able to summon a hammer, nails, and planks of wood out of nothing as she ran to the spot and furiously boarded it up.

"Hey!" Renge's muffled voice from below the floor complained as the motor jammed. "What's the deal?! Let me out!"

"No more!" Evie shouted, now at her last nerve. Planted on the barricade blocking Renge with a hammer in her fist, she looked quite the terror. Everyone watched her in slight surprise, but her quick mood swings from shy girl to bad ass were slowly becoming more of a regular thing. She pointed at Kirimi still being carted around by Tamaki. "If we've got to look after this kid, we're going to do it right!"

"That means no sugar!" Honey's face crumbled like the pastry he was eating when she pointed the hammer at him. Mori spun on his heel with the cake he was carrying and went to put it back where he found it.

"And no debauchery!" Evie pointed to Kirimi who immediately started whining for her explicit comic books. Tamaki reacted by holding her kicking form away from him, staring at her and flabbergasted at the words coming out of her mouth.

Evie pointed at Kyoya last, who looked up at her with a bored expression. "And don't think that you're going to get out of this, mister! This is going to be a team effort!"

Taking a deep breath now that the room was quieted and in her control, Evie slouched her shoulders and a sweat drop appeared over her brow. _This was going to be exhausting… but… wait._ Where were the twins?

* * *

><p>"No, this isn't right…"<p>

Mary wandered through the hallways, wishing she had grabbed the Flashmatic, but it was back with Evie in the club room. Though, she wasn't sure how it would have been able to help her anyways. At least, if she got too lost, she could pause the world and find her way without wasting any more time.

Mary rounded the corner and found another dead-end hallway of classroom doors. She stopped and let out a huff at her bangs. "Dammit… where's that big, hideous door for the Black Magic Club?! I knew I should've asked Kyoya for directions…"

When Mary spun around, she screamed in surprise.

"For talking to yourself, you do it rather loudly," Kaoru commented, a hand on his hip.

"Isn't that the definition of the clinically insane?" Hikaru asked, mirroring his brother's pose beside him.

"You two!" Mary held her heart, still calming from the shock they gave her by popping up out of nowhere. She ignored their jibes. "I thought I left you back in the club room…"

"We're not accessories," Hikaru stuck out his tongue as she passed between them like they were a door.

"Yeah, you can't just leave us behind like we're your old toys," Kaoru added with a glower to match his tone.

"Hm. Aren't you though?" Mary smirked, giving their medicine right back to them.

The twins looked to each other in confusion. "Huh?"

"Toys," she said with a snarky air, heading back down the hallway where they came.

They deadpanned, puffing out their cheeks at her before trailing behind. Kaoru stuffed his hands in his pockets, and Hikaru walked with his hands behind his neck. There was only the sound of their echoing steps in the hall for a while before Mary took another wrong turn.

"Aren't you supposed to be looking for Nekozawa-senpai?" Hikaru asked.

"Yes," she grumbled, clenching her fists as she came upon another dead end.

"You're going the wrong way," Kaoru said.

Mary spun around, keeping her pride in tact as she passed the twins again to look down another hallway. "Well, it's not my fault your school is so gargantuan!"

"You mean _our_ school?" Hikaru pointed out.

Mary faltered. "Er… right. Why don't you tell me where to go so we can stop wasting time?"

"Hm…" Kaoru and Hikaru hummed to themselves. They got on either side of her, and Mary walked faster. "Maybe if you asked us in your cutest voice, we'd tell you."

"No way," Mary stuck up her nose.

"Your loss!" Hikaru shrugged, holding out his hands at his sides as he did so.

"Guess we'll just wander around _forever_," Kaoru whispered close to her ear, making her jump and swat at him.

"Eep! Will you cut that out?! Creepy twins…" Mary muttered. Her blush was enough to send them into mocking, victory laughter. "Well?! Just lead the way already!"

"Leading the way~" they sang together, skipping ahead.

Mary relaxed and laughed, running to catch up with them. The hallway appeared to be another dead end, but the twins continued to run to the end of it. They went around the corner and peeked back to see if she was still following. Mary rounded the bend after them and found that the hallway she had chosen was the right one after all as she gazed up at the massive black door.

"Hey! I was heading this way, you jerks! I would've found it by myself…" she crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

The twins only snickered and grinned wide, gesturing to the door proudly. Mary walked up to it, ignoring them as best as she could, and she picked up the medieval looking door knocker. The whole area seemed to have a dark, foggy aura. Even the light from the windows was dimmed. The brass knocker fell twice before the door eerily swung open for her. Mary flinched. "Well… that's creepy…"

"Don't be such a baby," Hikaru scolded, staring into the dark room at her left.

Kaoru was also unimpressed on her right side. "This is the Black Magic Club? I've seen scarier things in Hikaru's closet."

"It's not my fault the maids never clean it," Hikaru argued haughtily.

"Sh!" Mary scolded them with a finger to her lips. She listened intently. "Do you hear that?"

The twins leaned towards the door to hear. There was very faint organ music playing. As the trio squinted into the blackness, a single flame appeared before their noses. They all recoiled in fright.

A low laugh accompanied the candelabra. Its holder was a cloaked figure with a familiar cat puppet on his free hand. "Welcome to the Black Magic Club… I'm afraid visiting hours are over, but we're always accepting new members into the occult…"

Mary was the first to regain her voice, trying to smile despite her unease. "N-Nekozawa-senpai! Um, w-we're looking for you to, um…"

"Your sister's in our club room," Hikaru intervened, putting a hand on Mary's head and leaning on her.

"Kirimi?" Surprised blue eyes appeared under the locks of the dark wig he wore under the hood. He sure liked things extra gloomy.

"I wanted to talk to you about her," Mary quickly said. She fumbled for words, trying to avoid having to explain her knowledge of their rocky relationship and help him out at the same time. "See, um, she's scared of the dark, so I wanted to see if you'd be willing to compromise, maybe? Just to see her? She's your little sister after all…"

Nekozawa sadly shook his head, cowering back into the dark club room away from the light. "No, no… The light burns… I couldn't…"

"Not even for your sister? She needs her big brother," Kaoru crossed his arms.

"That seems like a pretty crummy thing to do to her," Hikaru agreed with his brother's sentiments.

Nekozawa hid further back from them, the door closing slowly like a shield.

"We're not here to guilt him!" Mary scolded. She stopped the door, pulling it back further to see inside. "I only want to hear your side of the story, Nekozawa-senpai! Can we come in?"

The cloak disappeared and Mary bravely followed after it. The twins soon stepped in after her, all three of them blinking around in the darkness as their eyes adjusted. Mary ran straight into a chair and caught it before it fell.

"Sheesh!" She said, righting it and groping around to feel for something to balance on in the black. Her hand found a table of some kind, and she leaned dependently on it. "You sure like it dark, eh, senpai?"

The candle glow across the room was the only light to focus on, but it soon became apparent that Nekozawa was lighting more candles strategically placed around the room to help them see. "The darkness is a blanket, a blanket in which the occult thrives."

"Uh-huh," Hikaru said, unconvinced. Kaoru shuddered beside him when he found a few dried heads hanging from the ceiling.

"Would you like to read some of the ancient texts?" Nekozawa appeared before them in the blink of an eye with a leather-bound, massive tome.

"No, we want to talk about your _sister_," Mary tried to turn the subject back around.

"Oh, _please!"_

All four were startled when a deafening crank resounded throughout the room, followed by an electric spark. "Hahahahaha~!"

"Oh, dear…" Mary face palmed.

One of Renge's many platforms rose with her spinning atop it. It anchored and quiet was returned. The girl looked around in the shadows, appearing confused yet relieved as she hopped down. She smoothed her short skirt.

"Hey, nice dress," even though it was still dark, the candlelight offered enough of a glimmer that Mary could see Renge was wearing the altered, shorter uniform the two Flashmatic friends had invented.

"Ah! Mary," Renge greeted with a smile. She walked over and gave her a demeaning pat on the head. "Your methods are very… cute. But if we're going to get these siblings back together, we're going to need drastic measures!"

"Like…?" Hikaru asked, smiling to his twin as Kaoru brought out a flashlight and flickered it threateningly.

Mary paled that they were already on Renge's side. "No! We're not going to be changing anybody. This can be handled in a calm, quiet environment where we can debate—"

"Pish posh!" Renge waved her off. She pointed a menacing finger at Nekozawa, making him cower in the corner. "We're going to get through to Nekozawa-senpai with some intensive therapy sessions! You're done with sniveling in the corner. It's time to become the princely big brother your sister deserves, and we first years are going to show you how it's done!"

"Target acquired!" The twins saluted, jump tackling Nekozawa who started screaming.

Mary watched in slight horror and exasperation as lights flashed, Renge hollered orders, Nekozawa pleaded uncle, and the twins pulled on his cloak to expose him to daylight. "Great…"

* * *

><p>Back in the club room, triumphant music was blaring unbeknownst to everyone but Evie as Tamaki proudly presented Kirimi to the remaining hosts.<p>

"Men, we've an oath as a host club to make every girl happy! Kirimi-chan must and will be treated as a princess until her big brother Nekozawa-senpai stops being afraid of bright lights!" Tamaki's eyes glinted with his rousing speech.

"Aye, aye, sir~!" Honey saluted, Mori saluting by his side with a stoic expression.

"Senpai, you can't just stop someone from having a phobia… They're called irrational for a reason – you can't use logic to get through it," Evie attempted to quietly argue his point. Because if they were waiting for Nekozawa to become the princely big brother they were expecting, then they'd be watching over Kirimi for the rest of their cartoon lives.

Tamaki stared at her in deep thought. "Doesn't mean we can't try."

The simple statement ended any of Evie's further quarrels. She shrugged, putting her hands on her hips. "Okay! How do we treat her like a princess?"

Excited that she was a part of the team, Tamaki winked at her. "Every princess needs a castle! To the sofas, men!"

Kirimi was passed off to Evie, and the girls watched as the couches in the club room were pushed together and torn apart. Cushions were precariously stacked atop one another, building walls and tunnels and roofs. Mori stacked cushions to use as building materials and set them in place, Honey struggled one-by-one to help him out, Tamaki oversaw the production with excited suggestions, and Kyoya pointed out the structural flaws until the building was sturdy and complete.

"Wow. Impressive," Evie remarked.

"Well, what do you think, my princess?" Tamaki bowed low to the child.

Kirimi's eyes were like saucers as Evie set her down so she could investigate. She laughed and ran for the fort, diving into it in fits of giggles. "Yay~! My very own castle!"

Evie laughed as Honey ran through the tunnels with Kirimi, and Mori could no longer move as the place had been built around him, and he was a vital support.

"What else do princesses have…?" Tamaki wondered, gesturing to his friend dramatically. "Kyoya! Have a pony sent in at once!"

"We can't have a horse in here!" Evie giggled, going ignored as Kirimi cheered once again for another present.

Kyoya punched a few buttons on his phone, speaking quickly to whatever dealer was on the other end of the line and nodding.

Evie ran to the fort and squatted down at the entrance, peering inside. "Hey, Kirimi-chan! Are you all set until your brother gets here?"

"Story time!" Kirimi met her, crawling on all fours. She pulled on Evie's arm. "Read me a story, Obaasan!"

Luckily, the twins nor Mary were around to make fun of her. Honey giggled though, making Evie wonder. "What? What did she say?"

"Tee-hee, she called you her grandmother!" Honey explained, skipping out of the cushion fort to sneak some cake with Usa-chan.

Evie's face fell in an unamused expression to rival Mary's usual dour. "Oh. How adorable."

Kirimi tugged harder, forcing Evie down into the fort. "Story time!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" She bumped her head on the cushion, having to duck down low in order to squeeze in after the five year old. Evie crawled after her into a bigger alcove, sitting cross-legged since her skirt was long enough to do so. "What story do you want me to read?"

Kirimi whipped out her favorite manga, one she apparently carried around with her for occasions such as these when she could rope someone into reading it aloud to her. Eyes shining like Tamaki's when he's on a mission, Kirimi sat on her knees and scooted forward in anticipation. Evie studied the cover art doubtfully, noting the reverse harem depicted with the lusty poses. Her eye twitched as she opened it. She remembered too late that manga was read backwards and had a hard time flipping the book every which way to get to the beginning. Kirimi was still watching eagerly.

Evie cleared her throat. "Ahem. Uh… are you sure this is okay with your parents…?"

"Read!" Kirimi demanded, bouncing up and down.

Shaking her head, Evie began. "Deep in the enchanted forest of old lived a busty belle who was granted the magical art of… seduction…"

"Yay! Seduction!" Kirimi pumped her fists.

"Right…"

Evie decided she'd try to censor it, if not for Kirimi's sake but for her own as her face lit up like a Christmas tree as the story unfolded. After skipping a few chapters 'accidentally' that had images Evie wished she'd never see in her own lifetime, she began again. "'Oh, joy, I have completed my… um… _club_ of… _refined_ gentlemen. We'll… uh, oh, dear… have tea…? Yes, _tea_ together.'"

Kirimi's face had scrunched up, noticing the familiar dialogue was hugely altered when Evie had the book in her hands.

She couldn't take anymore. Setting the script down, Evie sighed and gave Kirimi a pleading look. "Had enough yet, kid?"

"More, more!" Kirimi demanded.

Evie bit her lip, digging into the Ouran messenger bag that never left her side with the Flashmatic tucked safely inside. Her hand found plush, and she smiled. "Why don't we take a break and play with some toys, okay? Here – meet Fluffy!"

Kirimi shrieked when Evie brought out her orange cat, falling backwards and hiding her face in her hands. Evie clutched her cat protectively and patted its head. "Oops… Sorry – I forgot you were afraid of cats… Um…"

Once the cat disappeared, Kirimi was back to her usual self. She curiously poked at Evie's bag, wondering what other scares were inside of it.

Evie smiled at her. "You remind me of my own sisters. I kind of miss them…"

"Sisters?" Kirimi asked with interest.

"They're not as young as you, but they're both younger than me," Evie explained. She determined this could be a good time to put in a good word for Nekozawa Umehito, Kirimi's estranged older brother. She puffed at her bangs. "You know… even though we're apart, and they're very different, we're really important to each other. As a big sister, I want to look out for them the best I can. I bet your big brother feels the same way."

Kirimi looked down cast. The image of her 'prince charming' older brother was a faded portrait. The real thing was… scary. She fiddled with her little pink skirt.

Evie seemed to sense what the little girl was thinking. Perking up, she said: "You know, different doesn't always have to be a bad thing. I think it'd be really cool to have a big brother like yours! No one's quite like him."

This was a bit more convincing for her. Kirimi gave her a small smile that was returned.

"You going to give him a chance?" Evie asked, holding out her pinky.

Kirimi took it, sealing the deal. "Maybe… Thanks, Obaasan!"

Evie received a hug in gratitude. "Yeah… okay, sure."

* * *

><p>"No, you have to look into the light! Face it <em>head on!"<em>

Mary watched with growing impatience the ridiculous stunt before her. She reclined in the chair, slouching and crossing her arms across her chest. The same training she remembered from the episode when she watched it on her television screen was unfolding for poor Nekozawa, conducted by Renge and her twin minions.

"Picture it like you're talking to Kirimi-chan," Renge coached. "What would you say?"

"That… that…" Nekozawa's hands shook with the flashlight clenched in them. It was mercifully off now. "That the occult—"

"_Wrong!_" Renge whapped him over the head with a rolled up newspaper like she was abusively training a dog not to pee on the rug. "You're forgetting your princely character!"

"Should we zap him with the flashlight again?" Hikaru and Kaoru suggested evilly, switching a second one on and off before their mischievous faces.

"Kirimi-chan likes light and princes and Moe – you're not going to win her over with all that stupid occult stuff!" Renge stood her ground. She shook her head. "Open the windows! We're trying curtain therapy!"

Having had quite enough, Mary determined it was her time to have a heart to heart, not knowing that her friend was doing the same with Kirimi as well. Mary crossed the room, slapped just Hikaru upside the head, and knelt before the poor, bullied third year. He looked up at her with apprehension, probably fearing she was going to whack him, too.

"Look," Mary began with a heavy sigh. "Your phobia is… weird. But that's beside the point. Putting on a show to make your sister like you is never going to work. I have a big sister, and I appreciate her the most when she's… there. When she listens. It's not about cheap tricks to try to impress anyone. It's about being a friend."

Nekozawa stared up at her face with a puzzled expression. "Wh… who are you…?"

"That's all you got from that?!" Mary barked, now slapping him upside the head. She pointed at the door. "Go to your sister!"

Donning his cloak and wig once again, Nekozawa fled the room, doing as he was told.

"Jeez… Poured out all that heart and nothing for it," Mary got to her feet, brushing off her hands and shaking her head. "This is why I never open up to people…"

Receiving a sharp slap to the back of her head, Mary rubbed the spot and angrily turned around to find the culprit to be Hikaru enacting his revenge. "Hey, at least you got him to leave."

"Oh, well," Renge shrugged her shoulders. "I suppose not everyone can be a prince."

"Yeah, it's such a shame we have different character types," Mary rolled her eyes.

Renge hopped up onto her pedestal. It whirred, and the machine slowly brought her back down into the floor. "True! The plot only thickens! Ta-ta!"

The floor closed, and she was gone. Kaoru stepped past Mary. "Guess we'd better follow him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself."

"I love the faith you guys have in other people," Mary said, gladly leaving the dark club room in pursuit.

"And your sarcasm never gets old," Hikaru smartly countered. Her response was a middle finger in his general direction.

* * *

><p>Kyoya closed his phone after a short call he answered. He nodded to Tamaki who was staring out the window for any sign of the pony. "That was the D building. They found two of the Nekozawa staff looking around for a little girl with blonde pigtails. They are here to collect their mistress. I should add that they're quite distressed, having expected to find her down at the elementary school."<p>

Kirimi's laugh grew louder until it was no longer muffled by the fort, and she emerged at a run straight for Tamaki. He picked her up and sighed, giving her a comforting smile. "Hear that, Kirimi-chan? You can go home now."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "B-but…"

Evie crawled out of the cushions and smoothed her skirt. She went and handed the manga book to Kirimi. "Remember what you promised?"

Kirimi bravely nodded, biting her lip.

Tamaki gave Evie a curious look, so she said: "We're going to give big brother a chance. I mean, he can't be _that_ scary."

Just then, the door crashed open with a screaming, cloaked figure appearing in the entrance. All heads turned, and Kirimi cowered over Tamaki's shoulder.

"Kirimi!" Nekozawa shouted, holding his hood down as long as it would go. He cringed at how bright, and pink, and merry the club room was. When he spotted Kirimi, he smiled, but it was eerie due to his mannerisms and general attire. "There you are, Kirimi… Why don't you meet Beelzenef? He can curse—"

"Ahem!" Mary appeared in the door behind him, arms folded and foot tapping crossly. The twins were right behind her panting from the run. "Different is good, but… not all at once, okay, buddy?"

"Mary!" Evie waved, standing next to Tamaki. With Kirimi between them, it almost looked like a family portrait, and Mary was visibly taken aback.

Kirimi caught sight of the cat puppet and started squealing and struggling to get away, no matter that Tamaki was holding her or not. "No, no, no!"

"Kirimi…" Nekozawa paused. He tried to approach her in comfort, but he tripped on his robes and fell headlong into the fort, bringing it all down (but at least freeing Mori in the process). "Oof!"

Kirimi burst into tears at the destruction of her little clubhouse and managed to jump down from Tamaki.

"Wait, Kirimi-chan!" Tamaki called out to her.

The little girl ran straight out the door, dodging the trio still there who missed stopping her.

"Ugh, and we just got here, too," Mary grumbled, finally showing some of her fatigue from sprinting through the school.

"It's my fault…" Nekozawa mumbled, face still against the floor. Evie managed to help him into a sitting position. "I'm… I'm not a good brother… Suoh, you should just… look after her… for me…"

Tamaki glared, in one of his rare, more serious moods. "That's not how it works. You have to go after her – be there for her! You're never going to make a good big brother to Kirimi-chan if you give up so easily."

Mary's heart filled with pride as she was reminded once again why Tamaki was her favorite character. Evie smiled in excitement as Tamaki held out his hand to Nekozawa and helped him stand up.

"Hey, I see her!" Honey pointed out one of the windows. Mori was standing by his side with a furrow in his brow.

The twins joined them, peering out. "Your family sure likes fat ass cats," Hikaru commented.

Kaoru tilted his head in questioning. "I thought she wasn't a fan of cats."

"She's definitely not," Evie vouched for that.

Nekozawa hurried up, throwing himself against the window to see. Two floors down, Kirimi was sniffling in the courtyard garden, facing off against the same cat the girls had seen before on the path. "But Kirimi would never partake in something as occult as befriending a stray cat…"

"Befriending cats is occult?" Evie whispered to Mary.

Mary smirked. "Guess you're a regular witch, Evie."

Little Kirimi took a step back in fear. She held her arms protectively across her heart.

"Kirimi!" Nekozawa backed up and took to the window at a run.

Mary saw him just in time and wrenched his arm to stop him. "What, are you batshit insane?!"

"Take the stairs, sir!" Evie firmly pointed out the door.

The girls went unheeded. Nekozawa freed himself and cast away his light-shielding attire. He threw himself into the glass, shattering it and falling to his demise below. Since his family had a thing for cats, it was to be assumed that's how he survived and miraculously landed on his feet and continued to sprint for his sister. "Kirimi!"

"Well, you can't save 'em all," Mary sighed to Evie.

Evie gave her a friendly punch to the shoulder. "That's for running out without planning with me first! But… I'm glad you've made a couple of friends."

Mary discreetly glanced at the twins. She shrugged. "Maybe."

"Hello!" A delivery man appeared in the door, clutching the reins to a brown horse standing at his side. "Someone order a pony?"

Mary was tempted to share her fears with Evie, but the group was filing out to meet the pair in the courtyard. Also, they needed to scrape Nekozawa off of the ground. The delivery man was ignored in their haste. When they reached the gardens, Nekozawa was put in the shade, and the siblings were reunited with the servants searching for them: Kuretake, their maid and Kadomatsu, the family's secretary.

Evie hurried to congratulate Kirimi after she was done hugging her brother, glad to have been rescued by her prince of the dark. The cat had long disappeared into the bushes. With it gone, Kirimi was bubbly and delighted once more. She started a game of tag with the hosts, favoring Tamaki and Evie as her brother recovered from the exposure to light under a tree with the attending servants.

Mary sat on the bench where Kyoya had taken up his station. His hands in his pockets, he finally felt approachable to her for once without his work in his nose. She swung her legs back and forth, watching Evie play with the characters.

"I got you! I got you!" Kirimi chorused.

"I got you back!" Evie said, scooping up the squealing little girl and spinning her around. She literally tossed Kirimi over to Tamaki who caught her and spun her around making airplane noises, dipping her up and down as she laughed uncontrollably.

Mary frowned at the scene, beckoning to Kyoya who was watching as well. "It makes me really uncomfortable. I couldn't pinpoint it at first, but…"

Kyoya waited patiently for her to continue, adjusting his glasses.

"It's… unnerving to see Tamaki-senpai and Evie getting along so well," Mary admitted, digging her shoe into the dirt.

"Because you're here on a deadline," he rightly guessed.

Mary nodded, glad she went to him with this confession. Kyoya always understood these things, even if he pretended he didn't or outright didn't care about them. "I feel like someone's going to get hurt before the end."

Kyoya smiled at his friends fooling around like little children. "An interesting sentiment. We'll have to see. Won't we?"

"Mm-hm," Mary hummed with a nod. They would just have to wait. Wait and hope for the best.


	19. Three Bittersweet Days!

Wow, thanks for the new follows and favorites, everybody! It's so exciting. :)

These chapters are a doozy as I can't seem to make them any shorter, but I guess that just comes with the coverage. In fact, I think they're all going to only get longer! Even though I'm super busy and bordering on mental exhaustion half the time, my goal is to get a chapter to you at least once a week. Besides, this story is my favorite to write right now. Who'd a thunk?

Thanks again to Evie for pushing me to get this out. Honestly, if she didn't keep reminding me or asking about this story, I doubt it would've gotten off the ground at all. Here's to ending strong! :D (This isn't the end, though. I meant for the future. Don't freak out. Namely Evie. xD)

* * *

><p><strong>Three Bittersweet Days!<strong>

* * *

><p>In Class 1-A, there was another serious lecture going on. Renge Houshakuji had managed to move her seat to the back of the room, so she could bother Mary and the twins. Her move also allowed the girls in the back of the room to gossip easier, and their giggles became almost impossible to hear through. Though currently, Renge was completely absorbed, furiously writing notes and looking at the board at intermittent intervals. She had her tongue pressed against her teeth as she concentrated, determined with her new tactic to impress Kyoya-senpai with her academic intelligence.<p>

Kaoru was doodling lines in his notebook, his eyes glazed with boredom. His twin had his chin in his hand, and his eyes were closed as he silently snored through the lesson. Between them, Mary was more blatantly napping as her face was against the desk and her arms were sprawled out ahead of her.

Mary was dreaming her own dreams, a wrinkle on her brow as her sleeping mind concentrated on the images being thrown at her. A blue dress. Hearts. Blood red hearts. Chasing, running just ahead of her out of reach. _A rabbit…?_

She was rattled awake with a start, pulling herself back from her desk in surprise. It caused quite a clattering ruckus, and the teacher paused to stare back at her.

"Have something to say, Miss Christie?" He asked, slightly perturbed at the flow of his lesson being interrupted by her squeaking.

Mary's face darkened as she gathered her hair over her shoulder and checked her lips for any traces of drool. "Uh, uh, just didn't expect that. That… uh, thing you said about… never heard about that."

"I'm glad you learned something new about vectors," the professor said, going back to his board, "but keep your excitement to a minimum next time."

"Yessir…" she grumbled as the students giggled at her embarrassment.

_No wonder I fell asleep – I hate math!_ Mary fumbled to sit up straight and decided on resting her chin across her elbows, too weary to pay any attention to the mathematics being scribbled on the black board.

Mary felt eyes on her, making her skin tingle uncomfortably. She turned to see she guessed correctly. "What?"

Kaoru had a serene, pondering look as he stared at her. It was that face he started to use when he thought about his pumpkin theory. Mary was troubled to see the expression so early on in the series.

"Just…" he said, still considering his words.

"What's with that face you're making?" Mary pressured. "Thinking for a change?"

"Sh!" Renge shushed with a finger to her lips. When Mary stuck her tongue out at her in response, she grew her Medusa hair and hissed more vehemently.

Mary shrunk back. She looked to Kaoru, whispering more carefully. "What's the matter? You okay?"

Kaoru turned back to his notebook, but he didn't keep drawing the maze he had constructed. He just stared down at it. "Just… wondering what it'll be like after you've disappeared."

She thought he meant through the portal, but she realized he meant the _last_ portal. The portal that would take them home. After the Ouran fair. Mary rested her chin in her palm and looked forward, mirroring Hikaru who was still pleasantly dozing. She smiled it off. "You'll never even know I'm gone."

* * *

><p>Evie was granted a free study period. As the teacher wiped away the last chalk remnants from the board and left the room, she was quite at a loss for what to do. She had brought her notebooks, excited to learn some stimulating, new lessons! Lessons that were exclusive to a fictional universe!<p>

_Finally excited to be a good student, and I'm deprived of learning! How cruel. _

The girl sighed, slouching in her seat and studying the girls' uniform on her. Every girl in her class was wearing it now, too. Whether they tailored it that way or rebelliously cut if off themselves, most every girl in the school was wearing Mary and Evie's shoddy, little dress. _Fair enough. They were quite a bad influence on this place…_

She smiled to herself but jumped when Honey-senpai stood on his tip toes to ruffle her hair.

"Whatcha thinking about, Evie-chan?" His big, adorable eyes looked down at her.

It was strange looking up at Honey-senpai as he was always so short. _Or rather just… Honey._ Since they were in the same class. _Right?_ Evie screwed up her nose as she thought about all of these confusing monikers.

Honey giggled at her again, and Evie had to wonder if anyone else could see those dancing flowers around his head. "You look funny~!"

Evie blushed, holding her face. "I do?"

"Your face is all pink!" Honey teased, poking her cheek.

"Mitsukuni," Mori warned he was going too far.

Honey obeyed, winding his hands behind his back and rocking on his heels as he continued to smile wide.

"Sorry," Evie apologized, dropping her hands and fiddling with her pen. She clicked it open and shut incessantly. "I've just never had a free period before. What are we supposed to do?"

"You can study, but not many people like to," Honey said with a shrug. He hopped up and down, using the back of Evie's chair for balance. "It's more fun to talk and hang out with friends!"

_Friends…_ Evie couldn't help the saddened expression appearing on her face. They considered her as a friend. Someone who had went on adventures and fooled around and laughed and talked with them. But… nothing had changed. All of those adventures would disappear. And they'd forget all about her. _Would she? Forget them?_

A couple of boy classmates had come up to Mori's desk to chat with him for a spell. Or rather, chat _at_ him, since he just nodded to their polite conversation. Girls in a close-knit group called for 'Mitsukuni-kun~!' from the back of the room and waved for him to come over. Evie bit her lip and stopped clicking her pen.

Reaching across the aisle, Evie drew the first thing that came to mind in the corner of Mori's notebook cover. Music notes. Just two eighth notes, curving their stems and filling them in at the top. Mori and Honey watched as she leaned over and did the same to Honey's discarded class notebook.

When she was finished, Evie smiled at them encouragingly. "Don't forget about me, okay?"

The pair blinked. Mori was more studiously confused, but Honey looked aghast at the suggestion, quickly shaking his head. "We'd never forget you, Evie-chan! Not even when you have to leave. We can always come and visit, right?"

"Yeah…" she nodded.

"Yay~!" Honey cheered, pulling at her arm. He forced her to stand and dragged her to the back of the room where the other girls were talking amongst themselves. Mori followed, giving both Evie and Honey reassuring pats on the head. Honey presented Evie to their classmates. "Have you met my friend Evie-chan~?"

"Your name sounds so American," one girl commented, reminding Evie of her silly, last name choice.

Another squealed in delight. "Are you a transfer student?"

It was silly to make the hosts promise such a thing that was out of their control, but it made her feel better none the less. Evie was welcomed into the group of excitable, friendly girls, and she spent the free period with the daunting weight of the Flashmatic off her mind.

* * *

><p>Mary tapped the tips of her shoes together, hanging her head as she leaned against the wall. Her hair fell down around her shoulders like a little room for her face to hide in. She gnawed on the inside of her lip.<p>

_We'll have to see. Won't we?_

"Hey!"

She looked up quickly out of her reverie, watching as Evie ran down the hall and came to a stop. She panted and pushed up her bangs, holding onto the Ouran tote at her side. "Hope you didn't wait long!"

"Nah," Mary shrugged, straightening her posture and stretching for the ceiling. In fact, Mary had waited quite a long time. She had decided to skip her afternoon classes and had spent her time meandering the hallways. When her feet had brought her to the club room, she simply stood by its door and waited for classes to end and all of the girls to file in. "Did you have a good day of classes?"

"Yeah, it was nice today. I actually got to know some of the girls in my class," Evie said, eying her friend strangely.

"Huh," Mary said, crossing her arms. "That's surprising. I figured they were all rabid fangirls. Good for you!"

"Are you okay?" Evie peered into her eyes, scrutinizing her.

Mary blanched. She went to the door, holding onto the left handle and leaning into it. "Yeah. Just sleepy… was caught dozing in class."

"Ha! I'm not surprised," Evie snarked, taking up the opposite door handle.

Together, the girls opened up the doors and were welcomed with uproarious applause. Rather, the hubbub wasn't for them but for the boys on the sofa. Mori had a wriggling and crying Honey pinned beneath him.

"Dammit!" Mary stomped her foot in vexation, running a hand through her hair. Evie's eyes were like saucers as her friend griped beside her. "I can't believe I missed that bromo moment!"

"Bromo…?" Evie slowly turned to her friend, a perplexed look twisting up her face.

"You know," Mary explained, still exasperated. "Bromance with some homosexual tendency? Can't we rewind?"

"No way!" Evie shook her head, running up in concern. She peered over the heads of girls attending the Host Club to see the hosts worrying over Honey-senpai.

Mary ran to catch up with her, nudging her in the side. "You know it's just a cavity, right? He's fine."

"I know…" Evie mumbled. There was still a persistent frown on her mouth. "I just don't like him in pain."

As there was no argument to that, Mary was the first to push her way through the dispersing crowd. Club activities had come to a halt for Honey's sake. Girls sighed and passed by with well wishes and 'get well soon's as they filed out the door to go home and do more important things their parents might actually be proud of. Evie followed close behind her friend, getting caught up in the mass exodus since she wasn't as pushy as Mary was when she had a set destination. Eventually, she came upon the clear and found the boys gathered around the whimpering third year.

"Until Honey-senpai feels better and out of respect for him, there will be no sweets in the club room!" Tamaki declared, hands on his hips.

"No, no! I'm fine! I feel better already!" Honey plead, his face very obviously swollen on the side.

"Jeez, is that a cavity or a tumor?" Mary whispered.

Evie shrugged. "Why don't they just take him to the dentist? They know he won't just get better in a few days off of sugar, right?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Well, since it worked in the original, I guess that's the medical logic now, too."

"More like medical malpractice…" Evie muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And what are you two muttering about?" Hikaru folded his arms atop Mary's head. Kaoru did the same on Evie's ponytail. The action was becoming a habit.

"You know, without sweets in the Host Club, it might get dangerous around here," Kaoru commented thoughtfully.

"We know about his tendencies to blow up if he's low on sleep, but you really think he'd start hurting people if he doesn't get cake for a few days?" Mary asked, looking up and meeting amber eyes looking down.

"Who knows?" Hikaru said. "Whatever the case, I'd rather not be around when he snaps his lid."

"You guys…" Evie scolded, wriggling away from Kaoru and nearly upsetting his balance. "We need to be there for him! Going cold turkey isn't going to be any easier alone."

"Evie's right – we gotta buck up," Mary agreed.

"'Buck up?'" Kaoru asked.

"Aw, you're so American," Hikaru sarcastically fawned.

Mary stood her ground, pouting angrily at their tone. "Don't say it all mockingly like that! Even if I was American, it's not something you can demean me for!"

"Mary's American!" They taunted in unison, dancing back and forth as she raged. "American! American! American~!"

Evie laughed and left her friend to deal with the tricksters on her own. She hurried over to Mori who was sorrowfully watching Honey sniffle in his seat. She grimaced at her lack of comforting words, but she tucked her hair behind her ear and gave it her best shot. "Hey, um… is there anything I can do? To help out?"

Mori looked away as Honey squeaked in pain and held his face. "Nothing… anyone can do…"

Evie grit her teeth and glared. She untangled the bag from her shoulders and tossed it aside before running up to Tamaki and Kyoya.

"Evie-senpai," Kyoya greeted with mild surprise.

"I didn't know you ladies were back around," Tamaki smiled ruefully. "My apologies that you've come at a troublesome time."

"Where can I find some ice and a cloth?" Evie asked, getting right to the point.

Though Tamaki blinked blankly at her request, Kyoya pointed to a door that led to the back room of supplies for their teas with the girls. She nodded and ran to the back. She quickly procured what she needed without much of a search and rejoined the others in the club room. As she walked, she tied up the cloth and tested its durability in holding the ice by spinning it shut.

She stopped before Honey where he was curled up on the couch, soaking up the misery of his situation. "Honey…? I've got something to help you. Could you sit up?"

Honey only sniffled in response. He forlornly tugged at a stray fuzzy on the sofa.

Evie set her jaw as the hosts watched apprehensively. Honey was obviously very moody. Even Mori was watching and waiting to sweep Evie out of there if the blond snapped at her or threw a tantrum. "Now don't be grumpy with me; this cavity business doesn't have anyone to blame. Get up."

Tamaki and the twins bit their nails, ready to find a wall to shield them from the inevitable blast of Honey's temper.

Evie sighed and took Honey's shoulder. She pulled him into a sitting position, and he flopped obediently. Carefully, she wrapped the cloth around under his chin. He flinched when it touched the sore spot. She finished the bow atop his head and smiled. "There… hopefully, that eases the pain a bit. You'll get better in no time!"

Honey's lip quivered before he started sobbing and held onto Evie in a tight hug. "Wah, Evie-chan!"

"Hey, it's okay!" Evie patted his back unsurely, laughing somewhat at his dramatic reaction.

"Lucky…" Mary grumbled, wishing she had thought to help Honey-senpai. Though she had her favorite rooted as Tamaki, she'd always have a soft spot for the second, much smaller blondie.

Speaking of which, Tamaki wiped away his proud tears at the scene. "Look at her! Like a little nurse! Daddy's so proud~!"

"We've got just the outfit—!" The twins immediately volunteered, holding up a skimpy nurse's uniform between them.

Mary impressively leap-frogged over their heads, pounding each of them simultaneously as she did so. "I DON'T THINK SO."

Honey sat back on the couch, rubbing his eye as his tears started to dry. Evie jumped at the unexpected hand on her shoulder, but she followed it to find Mori smiling at her. He nodded. She beamed.

"Takashi, can Evie-chan come to the dojo?" Honey asked with a pout.

"Yeah," he answered gruffly in the affirmative. "If she wants to."

"Sure! If it'll cheer you up, Honey," Evie agreed.

"Yay…!" Honey's celebration was cut short at another pang, and he clapped his hands over his jaw.

"Tomorrow!" Mary piped up, realizing the scene was already changing. She felt the pull for them to leave the room. She picked up the bag Evie discarded and slung it over her shoulder. "She'll totally be there tomorrow!"

"Right!" Evie jumped up, running to meet her friend. She waved back at the boys. "See you guys tomorrow!"

Mary and Evie met just in time for the halfway point of the show to jump by before them. The girls were surprised to see it happen rather than be a part of it like the theme song. With each of the six beats was a picture of the hosts. There were the usual pictures of Tamaki, Kyoya, Honey and Mori, the twins… but both Mary and Evie got their own pictures as well. Evie's introduced the series, and Mary's ended the reel.

"Huh," Mary looked up as they passed like they were watching an enormous movie screen right next to them. "I guess we're big enough characters to get our own headshots. Who would've figured?"

"We're here for how long this time?" Evie asked, tugging at Mary's cuff. "I mean, how long until Honey gets better?"

"Episode's called 'Honey's Three Bitter Days,' so that's the clock for ya," Mary said. She tapped her chin as the scene became the hallway outside of the third-year's cafeteria. "If you're going to be hanging around Honey and Mori, I'm wondering what I'm going to be doing this episode. Maybe I'll stalk you, so I can see all of the adorable Honey moments…"

Evie shoved her, and the girls laughed. They walked into the cafeteria full of gabbing students and went to the back of the lunch line. Since neither girl was more hungry than peckish, they each chose a little side dish as usual from the vast array of food choices. Mary decided on a dessert, but when the girls went to the sugar station, they found a tearful Honey staring past the glass at all of the cakes and cookies and pastries out of his reach.

It was Mori's turn to jump in surprise when Evie tapped his arm. She smiled at him before sidestepping by and taking Honey by the shoulder. "Hey, Honey; come on. Let's find a seat."

"Evie-chan?" He turned, seeing the blonde behind her as well. "Mary-chan, too. You're here…?"

"Yeah, we told you we'd be back!" Evie nodded.

"So quit torturing yourself; let's hit the bricks," Mary jabbed a thumb over her shoulder at the empty tables waiting for them.

Evie glowered at her friend's bluntness and followed after Mori and Honey. They found seats at the end of one of the long, wooden tables and set down their trays. Honey was sat down protectively between Mori and Evie as he stared gloomily down at his vegetables and various other unsweet things cluttering up his plate.

Mary was about to fall into step with them when she received a sharp rap on the back of her head. "Yow!"

"Are you avoiding us?" Hikaru asked, hand on his hip and his lunch tray in the other.

Kaoru looked much the same despite his food options being different from his brother's. "First, you skip class, and now we find you in the third-year lunch room again?"

"Way to keep tabs," Mary said, impressed despite her distemper that her habit of hitting them upside the head was being returned more frequently. She grinned. "Why? Are you worried?"

"You're going to fail all of your subjects," Kaoru told her, setting down his tray opposite Evie.

"Mary-chan's failing?" Honey asked, glad to be distracted from his depressing entrées.

"She never shows up!" Hikaru said, taking the seat opposite Mori-senpai.

Mary huffed the bangs out of her eyes as she settled in between them. She smiled sweetly at Honey to make up for possibly offending him earlier. "You feeling any better, senpai?"

In answer, Honey sighed and held the ice pack on his jaw.

Mary bit her lip as she watched him suffer and eye everyone's superior, diabetic lunches. She couldn't mistake his jealous pining for the strawberry shortcake she had on her plate. She picked at the berry topping it off, chewing it slowly and feeling Honey's pain in every bite. Swallowing, she suddenly pointed at the ceiling. "Whoa! Someone managed to get a whole pizza stuck to the ceiling!"

"What?!" Evie was the first to look up, as gullible as ever.

Mary dived forward, thrusting her forkful of cake at Honey. He happily chomped down on it, humming in content as he savored the taste. After he swallowed, he grimaced at the pain it gave his cavity, but he looked thankful to her none the less.

When everyone was looking back down in confusion, Mary was desperately trying to look casual with her half-eaten piece of cake she obviously wasn't chewing. Mori-senpai was staring right at her, making her sweat.

"What are you talking about? I don't see it…" Evie said, still buying the pizza story and looking around for it all over the place.

Mori glared down at Honey. "No sweets."

Both Mary and Honey paled, caught red-handed. Or rather, red-faced, as there was some pink frosting on the side of Honey's face.

"Enabler!" The twins pointed at her accusingly.

"I couldn't help it! He was so sad! What's one bite, huh?" Mary whined pathetically.

"No sweets," Mori repeated, motioning for Honey to eat his asparagus.

"Mori's right, Mary," Evie tutted, hands on her hips. "Instant gratification isn't worth hurting him more."

"Mleh, mleh…" Mary mimicked her lecturing, poking at her cake and not wanting it anymore. She was half tempted to throw it at Honey and see if he could catch it like a vicious shark, but she wasn't willing to risk both Mori and Evie's wrath. She sighed.

"Are you coming to the dojo today?" Honey tried changing the subject off his enabler and also away from the smelly asparagus.

"Sure! We can go right after class, yeah? Since club activities aren't really running," Evie said. This only helped remind her that Kyoya was probably in fits of giggles over all of the money they were saving.

After the rest of the tortuous lunch hour, the students went back to their respective rooms. Evie found she was liking the lessons she had been looking forward to, whereas Mary was full on scheming with the twins.

"Come on, help me out here," Mary stated her case to Hikaru since he was the less logical twin. Or rather, he was a bit more mischievous and might go along with it. "You guys are expert stalkers."

"What gave you that idea?" He asked, sounding offended.

"I don't know, the fact that you've been able to track me down whenever you please?" She challenged.

"Who are you stalking?" Renge joined the conversation with interest, hesitantly looking away from her notebook.

"I just want to make sure Honey-senpai's okay," Mary waved off her worries. _Also, I want to see what goes down with Evie at that dojo. _It sounded like such a fanfic-y moment, and she wasn't about to miss it!

Kaoru tucked his hands behind his head and leaned backwards in his chair. "Well, I guess we have nothing else better to do if we're not going to the Host Club again."

"I, for one, wouldn't mind if this went on a bit longer," Renge said, nose in the air. "Honey-senpai's pain is unfortunate, but it's irreplaceable moe fodder. The usual Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai fans are about off their gourd from the suspense! Soon, this'll enrapture every girl in the school in a powerful, driving force of fangirlism!"

"So…" Hikaru was visibly perturbed by the glowing otaku's speech. "Where are we going after school exactly?"

At that moment, the bells tolled and the students were dismissed. Mary lunged from her seat, placing a conquering foot atop her desk and pointing as valiantly as Napoleon. "To the dojo!"

* * *

><p>Evie tightened the belt around her torso, feeling rather out of place. She had emerged from the dressing rooms and peeked outside. It wouldn't have been so uncomfortable if only she wasn't the only girl within a fifty-foot radius. There were girls peeping at the sidelines of course to watch their favorite guys practice, but none of them were in uniform like she was. Evie felt like she had just stepped into the wood shop class back in high school…<p>

She puffed her bangs and bravely stepped out into the courtyard. The stretches and basic maneuvers over with, the class had retreated to the outside for plenty of sparring space. There were practice dummies spaced strategically around the stone yard, and there was even an obstacle course that was timed that tested footwork and reflex.

Evie gulped and tugged at the over-sized sleeves. She spotted Mori, as it wasn't difficult to find the tallest person at Ouran, and worked her way over to him. She passed many students giving her weird looks, as not only was she new, but she was an honored guest of Masters Takashi Morinozuka and Mitsukuni Haninozuka, and again, she was a hen amongst roosters.

"Hi!" She chirped, finding her voice high with her nerves as she waved to Mori. "What are we doing today?"

When he didn't immediately answer her, Evie followed his gaze to the sparring field. It was obvious Honey was reaching his breaking point. The first day had been sniffles, the second he was sneakier in his ways at trying to get sugar anyway he could, and at the third, he'd be an all-out monster. Apparently, that monster was clawing at the edges as Evie watched him deck half the class to the ground with little mercy.

"He'll be okay…" Evie reminded Mori gently. "It's just a cavity, right?"

Mori suddenly snapped out of his trance-like state and turned to Evie. "Reflex."

"Huh?" She asked.

With alarming speed, he brought his arm down. Evie expertly blocked him with her right arm and then her left arm defended against the foot at her side she had been expecting. Taking a deep breath, she smiled, glad to have passed the little test.

Mori smiled with a nod. He relaxed his stance and picked up two long staffs. He sent one her way which she struggled to catch and balance before her. He held out his before him professionally in demonstration.

Excited to be learning something new, as she worked little with weaponry of any kind, she attempted to mirror his position with a determined look on her face.

"Elbows," Mori reached forward and grabbed her arms, forcing them down. "Too high."

"Er – right!" Evie nodded, her face darkening as she was screwing up already.

"Quick, hand me the binoculars!" Mary wrenched the tool from Kaoru and peered through the lenses, focusing on her friend and Mori-senpai.

"She's one of those sick, pervert types…" Hikaru whispered to his twin from where they were hiding in the hedges.

"Sh!" Mary said, leaning forward to get a better look.

"What's it matter if we talk?" Kaoru whispered.

"It's not like the binoculars are going to help you hear them, too!" Hikaru glowered.

Mary watched as Mori and Evie performed what looked like baton twirls. Confused, she continued to watch until the poles they were holding made contact. She bounced in excitement as she watched Mori hold back sparring Evie since she was still a beginner with the craft. "Oh my God, this is so cute – it's like a romantic _Karate Kid_."

"You're way creepier than we originally guessed," Hikaru said, attempting to stand. Mary shoved his head down without looking at him and forced him back onto his butt behind the bush.

"Who knew?" Kaoru smirked, chuckling at his unfortunate twin.

"Whoa, shit!" Mary cursed under her breath, the binoculars pressed against her face. "She nearly got him in the head…"

"This is a blast and all, but I'd rather be doing something… else," Hikaru complained.

Mary finally relinquished the binoculars and sat back on her heels. She wrinkled her nose, bewildered. "Like what?"

"Well, Evie-senpai isn't around since she has so much in common with Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai, and also since the club's down, it's kind of boring around here," Kaoru said, plucking up grass in his fist and letting it fall from his hand.

"Let's go," Hikaru stood up with a tired sigh, and Mary didn't stop him nor Kaoru as they walked away. "Let's find something fun to do."

Mary bit her lip, peering back through the binoculars at her friend having fun. Evie tossed her hair aside and laughed at something. Mori pat his face with a towel, and the two went to meet Honey at the practice dummies where they proceeded to punch and kick with some sort of routine Mary didn't understand.

A hand appeared in front of the binoculars, but to Mary, it looked like the lights in the world went out. She jerked back, falling backwards in surprise. She stared up at Hikaru and Kaoru leaning over her.

"Well, are you coming or what?" Hikaru asked. Kaoru was grinning at her fall, holding his hand out to help her up.

_They… wanted her to come along?_ She was almost silly enough to ask them for reassurance to the fact, but Mary had learned by now not to take things too seriously with the twins. She smiled and accepted the hand, standing and brushing the grass off her skirt. "Yeah, I guess I could tag along."

What Mary wasn't expecting was for the twins to head straight to the front entrance. She had left the Flashmatic with Evie, since she needed it to change or something, but she was regretting not getting it back now. Where were they going? What if something happened? She couldn't pause, stop, rewind. She was blindly going off into a world she knew nothing about. _Did a world even exist for her outside of Ouran Academy?_

The twins were leaning against a front pillar, and Hikaru was flipping his phone open and closed as they waited. Kaoru had his hands in his pockets, watching the drive for their limo to appear. Mary subconsciously wrung her hands as she focused on keeping her face from betraying her nervousness. Since it was so late after school, there were hardly any students around besides the trio.

"So where…?" Mary's thought was cut off when Kaoru nudged Hikaru, and he stopped playing with the phone. A black limousine lazily worked its way up the pavement and pulled up alongside the curb. The twins jogged down the steps and met up with the chauffer who opened the door for them.

Mary watched as Kaoru ducked in first, and Hikaru turned back to her with a reproachful look. "Do you need to be carried, too?"

"No!" Mary said defiantly. She tried to take her time going down the stone stairs, but she wound up practically running. She stopped and waited for Hikaru to enter, but he motioned for her to go first. She dived inside, holding her skirt down and carefully avoiding the ceiling. Hikaru rolled his eyes and went in after her.

Mary stared out the back window behind the seat as the limo revved up and quietly drove away. Ouran's campus slowly started to disappear as they reached the front gate, the trees passing dizzily by. She held her breath as the limo turned and careened off down the street.

She sat down, shaking slightly and feeling sick to her stomach. _What if there was some sort of invisible barrier she couldn't pass? What would happen if the world just… ran out? Would she be thrown back? Stuck? Killed?!_

"Do you get motion sick?" Kaoru asked warily.

"You look like one of those skittish dogs who pee when they're in a car," Hikaru said, wearing the same troubled expression as his brother but with more teasing in his tone.

"I'm not going to pee!" Mary snapped, sitting down on her hands. She took a deep breath, only inhaling the scent of their expensive car, which made her more physically nauseas. Since Evie had the Flashmatic, she just had to put her faith in the twins. _Great._ "So where are we going anyways?"

"I don't know," Kaoru said, looking at the ceiling with a flippant air. He looked to Hikaru.

His brother was already pressing the button to speak with the driver.

"_Yes, sir?"_ A voice on the intercom politely responded to the buzz. Mary looked around, wondering where the speaker was.

"Take us down fifth," Hikaru lazily ordered.

"_Right away, sir,"_ the chauffer replied.

Mary wanted to ask what the hell was a fifth, but it didn't take long for the limo to pass through city streets. She watched the tall buildings go by, but in order to look out the window, she had to crawl over the twins to look out on either side. Gradually, the limo got caught up in traffic until it came to a halt.

"Here?" Mary asked. The chauffer was going around to open the door for them, but Mary had already crawled over Hikaru and freed herself from the vehicle, pushing on the handle and tumbling out gracefully onto the sidewalk.

"Couldn't wait five seconds…" Hikaru muttered, exiting and watching her dust herself off and gawk at the buildings and people around them like this was the first time she'd seen civilization.

"Well, we're here!" Kaoru stood outside the snazzy café, staring up at it with interest.

"Fancy," Mary said. She eyed the displays to catch passerby's eyes, and she was completely reeled in as she was supposed to be by the intricate designs swirled across the cupcakes and pastries and fondant flowers atop the petite, adorable cakes.

Taking her to be sarcastic as usual, Hikaru went through the door as Kaoru told the chauffer how long they'd be. "Yeah, we thought you'd fit right in here. We couldn't go to our usual places since you'd stand out like a sore thumb."

Mary pursed her lips in annoyance as she followed him in. Kaoru joined them, and they were seated at a chic table with a dainty tablecloth and spritely flower vase in the center. Mary had no idea what to order at such a place and stuck with a familiar milkshake. Deciding that was an embarrassing choice, the twins also got milkshakes so she 'wouldn't feel like an idiot.'

Poking the straw in her extremely delicious yet tiny strawberry dessert, Mary started to get suspicious again. _Why would the twins bring her here?_ Other than the answer she received seconds before.

"We figured you'd be more comfortable in a commoner's joint," Kaoru had explained, somehow coming off as more polite than his brother when he said it.

"Yeah, there are deadbeats practically everywhere…" Mary had muttered, glancing around at the fashionably dressed city folk.

She stared off at the window displays, getting lost in them again. Soon, she received a sharp snap of the fingers under her nose. Mary turned with a glare.

"So," Hikaru started the interrogation.

"How can you tell us apart?" Kaoru asked, scooting his chair forward.

Mary blinked at them. _Was that it?_

They took her silence as cheek. Hikaru grabbed her wrist to make her stop fiddling with her straw. "Well? What makes you so special?"

Mary snorted. "I find it so ironic you guys suck at charming girls when you're not playing your twincest act."

They each puffed out their cheeks comically, but their faces took on a more serious countenance. Hikaru had released Mary's arm and had gone to poking his own straw in his chocolate milkshake. Kaoru thrummed his fingers on the table.

Mary took a long sip before settling in her chair, elbows propped up on the table. "I guess this is my fault. I just kind of… rudely told you to suck it up. I'd get why you'd be mad. But… is it really that hard to take? Because that one maid you had told you that there was the possibility that no one would ever tell you apart?"

They flinched at the mention.

She continued. "Well, there's a million possibilities! Maybe everyone would be able to tell you apart – you ever think about that? You can't get so hung up on the fact that you're identical. Just because you _look_ alike doesn't have to mean you need to _act_ alike. Which, you already kind of don't most of the time, so you've got that going for you…"

The Hitachiins exchanged a look. Mary wondered if they were thinking where they went wrong in their act, what made them stand out as different people. But she didn't want to tell them her theories in case they'd get a bigger complex and work on perfecting those points until even Evie and Mary with their alternate dimension knowledge wouldn't be able to sort them out. She knew it was something they'd just have to figure out on their own, but Mary still wanted to be part of that development. That step in the right direction that could get them started.

When the silence was becoming unbearable and her milkshake was nothing but foam on the bottom of her glass, Mary sighed and crossed her arms. "Unless you're happier with me pretending not to know who's who like your mother does – fine, I can play that game, too."

"Will you stop knowing things?!" Hikaru practically shouted, reeling away from her.

"It's scary and fascinating at the same time!" Kaoru complained, his voice cracking in fright as he grabbed onto his brother to hide.

Mary laughed a little too loud, clapping a hand over her mouth before more people in the café looked their way. "Fascinating, eh? I could get used to that!"

"Well, fascinate us – pay the check," Hikaru handed over the bill a passing waitress offered him.

"Hey, no fair! You know I can't afford a place like this!" Mary argued.

"You drank the milkshake," their voices echoed together.

"I don't even have any money on me; I didn't know we were going to buy anything," she shrugged.

"Moocher," the brothers mocked, easily paying the tab and leaving some extra on the table.

The bell chimed as they exited the restaurant. Mary's hands were over her ears as she attempted to ignore them. "You can't make me feel guilty – this was all your idea!"

"I think she owes us now," Kaoru told his brother as they made their way down the sidewalk. The limousine was parked in the first vacant spot it could find, which was just a little ways away from where they were.

"I like debts," Hikaru acquiesced. "Can we charge interest?"

"I'm not paying you guys zilch!" Mary said, hurrying to the limo door as the chauffer stepped aside and opened it for her.

"Double negative!" Kaoru pointed out.

Hikaru high-fived his brother. "So she agrees!"

As they filed back into their seats, Mary swatted the back of Hikaru's head as he turned to get his seatbelt. "Hey! Why do you always hit me?"

"Because Kaoru's delicate," Mary smirked.

That got a good laugh out of Hikaru. Kaoru's face turned crimson as he obviously denied this. "I-I am not!"

"Would you rather I hit the both of you?" She threatened, raising her palm.

"Rather you keep your violence—" saying this, Hikaru smacked the back of her head in turn, "—to a minimum."

"Hikaru, I swear, if you hit me again…" Mary grumbled, rubbing the back of her hair.

"You always hit me!"

"Not as hard!"

Kaoru couldn't help but laugh, but he was mostly so happy about how she hadn't mixed them up a single time. What with all of their seat switching and hair-parting and scrambling, Mary was still calling them by their names. Either she had damned good luck, or she really _could_ tell them apart without issue. It really was… fascinating.

* * *

><p>Instead of Evie, Mary found herself jump tackled by Tamaki at the front entrance of the school.<p>

"Where have you been?! We've been so worried!" Tamaki hugged her tight, preventing her from answering even if she would.

"Mmf!" She said from inside his embrace, slowly suffocating as she thrashed around in a desperate attempt at freedom.

"He tried to call the police," Kyoya-senpai informed, scribbling at his notebook. He was smiling to himself at the rise in figures, but he wasn't about to tell anyone he was _happy_ Honey was rendered incapable to consume cake a mile a minute.

Tamaki was known to exaggerate, so it wasn't a surprise when he ran screaming nonsense at them after they left the dojo. Evie had been worried when she heard her friend had disappeared, but when the twins couldn't be located either, she knew Mary was alright. Probably off scheming some terrible pranks or something. She was surprised to see her pull up in the Hitachiin's limousine though. That was unexpected.

"Ah!" Mary broke free, taking in deep breaths. Tamaki was still squishing the life out of her, but at least she could see something other than his school blazer.

"What did you do?" He was immediately pointing fingers at the twins. "Kidnapping is a serious offense!"

"We didn't kidnap her, boss," Hikaru shrugged.

Kaoru surrendered his hands as well. "Yeah, she was a willing passenger. We went out for milkshakes."

"Milkshakes…?" Tamaki asked, confused by the idea of his outing.

"I'm fine, senpai," Mary said from underneath his chin, now frowning at the headlock she was in. Being hugged by Tamaki was a blessing and a curse.

As the twins teased Tamaki about how great of friends they were with Mary since they were now milkshake buddies, Mary ran to Evie to explain. She told her of the strange interrogation, but she admitted she thought it went well. For once.

"That's so great!" Evie squealed, clapping in excitement. She punched her shoulder. "I _told_ you they'd come around."

"I know, I know," Mary rolled her eyes. "But what's the most interesting thing about all of this is that _city_. I have no idea where we were, but it existed, Evie. There's this whole other world outside these episodes, and we can get to it!"

Evie contemplated this, trying to think of an explanation. The show over verse seemed to find this a good time to bring the girls to the last day of Honey's cavity conflict, and the scene was changing to the club room. To the girls, it looked like the world was fading around them, but to everyone else, Mary and Evie slowly ebbed from existence like fog in the sun.

"Are you sure…?" Evie asked. She knew Mary wouldn't be lying, but she couldn't wrap her head around being able to go wherever they liked.

"Yeah, the best way I could describe it, it's like…" Mary furiously rubbed her hair in her excitement, getting it all mussed up and frizzy even for a cartoon character. "It's like we're not in the Ouran universe anymore, but we are. Like we're in Bisco Hatori's imagination. She never drew it, but it's still there."

"Because imagination is limitless…" Evie agreed, full of wonder. She rapidly punched Mary's shoulder. "I can't believe it! _We can go outside the episodes!"_

"Yeah, yeah, lay off!" Mary whined, rubbing her arm. "Jeez, you're getting better already. I saw your training with Mori and Honey was going well."

"You spied?" She cocked her head to the side.

Large pillars formed line by line, the floor was filled in with soft pinks, and the high-vaulted ceilings took shape over their heads.

"Nah… 'Course I wouldn't spy on you," Mary rolled her eyes, glad that the binoculars had long since been misplaced.

Evie didn't buy her phony reassurance. She crossed her arms. "Well, I'll have you know that they think I have a lot of potential, so I can totally kick your butt!"

"You could've kicked my ass as a yellow belt," Mary said.

Evie giggled, unable to argue her point. Mary started to bicker with her, demanding she say it wasn't true. Mary could hold her own! Evie refused, and the girls teased each other until the string chorus in the background began. Both girls noticed its melancholy, serious air and turned to find they had reappeared in the completed club room.

"I hate you, Takashi!"

The declaration echoed, not only in poor Mori's mind, but also around the room for everyone to relive the drama over and over again. To understand its importance, to be sure.

Mary and Evie shared a knowing look and nodded. They split up, Mary running to the door where Tamaki followed after Honey, and Evie went to the other hosts who were standing around Mori sitting on the floor all dejectedly.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Mori-senpai," Kaoru insisted.

"You were pretty harsh on him, though…" Hikaru mentioned, even though he felt sorry about the whole situation as well.

Kyoya saw out of the corner of his eye Evie marching by and reached out to stop her. His hand lingered in the air before he froze, letting her go.

Her shoulders set, Evie went straight up to Mori-senpai and waited. He held his face in his hand, knowing he got the reaction he deserved. Because, after all, he didn't remind Mitsukuni to brush his teeth. Something that should 'totally' be punishable in such a masochistic way.

Evie wasn't as brash as Mary, but she was still furious. Tears stinging her eyes, she barked: "You idiot!"

Everyone in the room jumped, not expecting a scolding. They were sure Evie was going to comfort him like she usually did.

"It shouldn't have come to this!" Evie said, staring down at the top of his head, daring him to look up. "Everyone makes mistakes, Mori-senpai; you're no different. All you've accomplished with this charade is making Honey-senpai angry with you for no reason. You've only added to the mess! I'm… I'm disappointed."

Evie sure had been pushing her luck lately. No one was expecting Mori-senpai to lash out, of course, but she didn't seem to know how to pick her battles. What she was saying was just… so taboo! People didn't just _tell_ Mori-senpai how to treat Honey-senpai. Really, _anything_ about Honey-senpai. It was ludicrous that a girl, who had come in only a few months ago, should step up to him and tell him of all people to get a backbone and toughen up.

Mori looked to meet her in the eyes, his were shrewd and cold as usual.

Evie wasn't deterred, but her voice softened as she fidgeted and pulled at her skirt's hem. "If you really mean it, just say you're sorry… Example: I'm sorry that I had to yell at you about all of this. It just… really riled me up."

The door opened where Mary was patiently waiting, having heard Tamaki-senpai's talk with Honey-senpai. The two blonds stood side by side, and Tamaki gave Honey a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Honey looked up with his enormous, watery brown eyes, sniffling back tears. Tamaki nodded. When Honey spotted Mary waiting, too, she gave him a thumbs-up. He didn't need a further cue.

"T-Takashi! I'm sorry, Takashi! I'm sorry!" Honey sprinted across the room, arms spread out for a hug.

Evie took a few steps back as Honey cowered next to his best friend, blubbering apologies that Mori silently accepted and returned. "I'm sorry… Mitsukuni."

"Handled roughly but effective," Kyoya commented at Evie's side. There was a bitter frown on his face as Honey started shouting about celebrating with cake.

She twirled to face him and smiled, lacing her fingers behind her back. "Glad to have your approval, senpai."

Mary was wiping her misty eyes, and Evie noticed and skipped over. "Are you okay? What'd Tamaki say to him back there?"

"I always wondered," Mary admitted, a fond smile on her face. "But it's… best left as is."

Evie wasn't amused she couldn't know, but there was no point trying to convince her otherwise. Mary gave her a nudge, so she turned to see Kyoya printing receipts that were quickly piling up in waves around him. His hair was askew as he slowly collapsed among them muttering about the dent the sweets had in the budget and going completely ignored.

The girls couldn't help but giggle together at seeing Kyoya-senpai so distressed. Evie reached into the bag at her side and juggled the Flashmatic between her hands. "Isn't it that time again?"

"Yup," Mary agreed, lifting up the bag to find the paper. She had to count down the list of numbers to be extra sure they were going to the right episode next. "Okay, I think it's this one…"

"You heading out?" Hikaru approached, eying them both skeptically.

"Don't even think about following us," Mary warned, not bothering to look at him as she double-counted the rows of codes.

"I wasn't—!" Hikaru clenched his fists in anger at being belittled so soon.

Kaoru slung his elbow upon Hikaru's shoulder, using him to lean on. "When are you coming back?"

"Hey, Kaoru," Evie greeted pleasantly. "I haven't really seen you guys much lately, but I'll be sure to make some time for it! Not sure when we'll be back though…"

The boys seemed to be baffled that Evie had the same casual talent of referring to them by their individual names. It was certainly unnerving, but it was nice to hear the maid proved wrong. They didn't have just one miracle person, they had _two_.

"Dammit…" Mary grumbled, losing count again. Her eyes just couldn't focus.

"Oh, gimme that," Evie held out her hand. When it wasn't relinquished to her, she swiped it from her friend and easily counted down the rows.

"Well, uh, be careful or whatever…" Hikaru rubbed the back of his head, staring up at the ceiling. Mary couldn't mistake the light blush heating up his face. "Don't worry about paying us back. It was our treat… for a friend."

Without hesitation, Mary snatched the Flashmatic from Evie's grip like a viper on a mouse, the brunette protesting with only a disgruntled 'hey!' Her brown eyes furiously scanned the buttons on the back panel, garnering strange looks from the twins and her friend. Mary held a hand out to silence Evie when she was about to ask, pointing the remote at Hikaru and firmly pressing rewind.

"What are you doing?!" Evie blurted.

Mary concentrated and quickly pressed play. The world lurched back into motion. Hikaru was just saying yet again: "—or whatever…"

She pressed the A button, smirking slightly to herself as he continued. "Don't worry about paying us back. It was our treat… for a friend."

Evie scolded, crossing her arms. "Mary…"

"Shush!" Mary hushed, hitting the AB function button once again.

The scene became an endless loop. Hikaru was forced to bashfully stare at the ceiling and continue to repeat to her: "Don't worry about paying us back. It was our treat… for a friend."

"Aw! It's so sweet and adorable!" Mary fawned, holding the Flashmatic over her heart as the poor boy said it for the fifth time in a row. She pointedly said to Evie: "Savoring this; let me have my moment."

Evie laughed, as the world restarted and Hikaru said it all again. Once it was the tenth time, she was quite sick of hearing it, and poor Hikaru had had enough of this torture he knew nothing about. "Mary! _Enough_ already!"

"Oh, fine…" Mary submitted. Her thumb found the AB function, and after it was pressed again, the scene started for the last time.

"…for a friend," Hikaru finished, still looking freshly shy about the whole ordeal like it was the first time he said it.

Mary fondly gave his arm a pat, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, that was good…"

The twins turned to one other with flabbergasted expressions. Hikaru's blush only deepened, and Kaoru shrugged his shoulders at him. It was a strange reaction to a compliment, to be sure.

"Phew, so where were we?" Mary flipped her hair over her shoulder now that she was satisfied, handing the remote back over to her friend. "I think it was thirteen, but I wasn't sure."

"You were right. Thirteen it is! Sheesh, we're really moving right along," Evie blew at her brown bangs in her eyes. "Hm… I think I remember this one."

"I can't wait to see how it pans out…" Mary said, remembering a tidbit from a short dream she had in class. A dream that was about to be expanded upon tenfold.

The portal opened once Evie shot the trigger. It revealed milky colors and dim lights. Both girls looked at it curiously as it fell backwards as if it was heavy and hit the floor like a loony tune. As all of the hosts were now caught up with Mori and Honey reuniting and serving cake, no one noticed as Mary and Evie looked down at the hole before them, their shoes tentatively over the edge.

"That's different," Evie commented.

Mary didn't say a word, enraptured at the phenomenon. A rush of wind blew up from the portal, forcing the girls to hold onto their things and their poor skirts as it ripped past them with a force of a plane taking off. All at once, the wind reversed. The girls' hearts caught in their throats as it sucked them inside head first, screaming and falling down, down, down into the rabbit's hole…


	20. Mary and Evie in Wonderland!

Hey, we got a chapter earlier than expected! Hopefully, this trend continues. Thanks for all of the follows and favorites – you guys are awesome. :D Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>Mary and Evie in Wonderland!<strong>

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><p>The room was dark. There was a fuzzy, disconcerting feeling that she wasn't completely alone in the silence. Evie's eyes fluttered open, and she realized she was sitting. On a throne.<p>

Lurching forward with a start, Evie gasped as she noticed her slim black sleeves. They led up to red shoulders, a matching bodice, and enormous skirt. She patted her head and felt the weight was a crown. Taking it off and examining it, she found a large red heart staring back at her from its jewel-encrusted mount on the front.

"Hearts…?" She wondered aloud. Taking it in stride, she put the crown back atop her head and peered around at the darkness around her. It was reminiscent of the place when they pressed the stop button. A strange black limbo.

Evie sighed in relief when she found the Flashmatic resting in her lap. She picked it up in growing bewilderment, noting the dramatically increased length of the handle. From where she sat, she could comfortably rest it on the floor and hold it before her like a scepter. Instead of green, the Flashmatic was gold. Its button panel, flash bulb, and trigger remained untouched.

As she was pondering this new wonderment, footsteps increased in volume until there was a rhythmic tap approaching her. Evie squinted to see better and found the silhouette was entering her ray of light, a single spotlight shining overhead.

Tamaki bowed low, sweeping his enormous hat almost to the floor as he took it off in respect. When he looked up at her, smiling and charming as usual, he jauntily replaced the hat upon his head that had a noticeable 10/6 ticket in its band.

"My queen."

* * *

><p>The soft, persistent tick of a clock caused Mary to stir.<p>

"Ugh, Jesus, my head…" she grumbled, holding her forehead and getting to her knees. She felt an unfamiliar headband and opened her eyes, gawking at the rest of her strange outfit.

White gloves with a matching apron and tall socks, a short blue dress that poofed out like a teacup around her, and little black Mary-Jane shoes. Mary knew exactly where she was.

"Why on Earth am I the Alice? Because I'm blonde?! Real creative!" She shook her fist at the black ceiling in defiance.

With a huff, she righted the headband and brushed the bangs out of her eyes. The black world around her felt very daunting and unexplored, like there would be creatures in the shadows that meant her harm. She sat back on her heels and nervously eyed the blank space around her.

There was movement. First on her left, then on her right. It was behind her. It was on her left again. Mary's heart started to race with panic as the sprinting bundle dived right into her little patch of light.

"Ah!" Mary shrieked, guarding her face with her arms.

After a moment passed, Mary peeked through her forearms, spying the scare. An itty bitty white bunny was rubbing its ears, cleaning its face with its paws.

Mary blinked at it a moment, half-imagining it would go for her throat Monty Python style. When the rabbit folded its legs and snuggled into the floor, letting out a yawn, Mary glared. "Well, now what?"

The rabbit looked straight at her, making her flinch in surprise and unease. Its brown eyes bored into a spot on her neck or chest. Mary stared at the same place on the rabbit, noting it was wearing a necklace. The gold chain looked clunky, and it held an even bulkier pendant. A bulbous red heart. What interested Mary the most was that her name was scripted on the front in golden letters. It was unmistakably hers.

"Hey!" Mary said.

It was enough to startle the rodent. When Mary grabbed, it dived away and caused her to fall on her face. Mary looked up in irritation as the rabbit leapt out into the darkness, creating another spot of light for every spot it landed on the floor like a dimming trail she'd need to hurry to follow or else lose in the dark.

Mary blew the bangs from her face, grunting as she pulled herself up and dusted herself off. "Of course… off to find the white rabbit. If Evie's got it easy this episode, I swear…!"

* * *

><p>Almost instinctively knowing what to do, Evie tapped the Flashmatic scepter twice against the floor. It echoed off unseen walls, and lights illuminated the world around her on cue. Rows upon rows of faceless soldiers lined an impossibly long walk to her seat. Evie marveled in awe and slight fear at their playing card themed attire and hollow helmets. Their spears pointed regally above the path like an arch.<p>

Still, Evie was a bit lost. She knew this had to be the Wonderland episode, as Tamaki was dressed as a swarthy Mad Hatter right before her and her own clothes suggested she was the imperial Queen of Hearts, but what to do? The episode had been about teaching Haruhi to have fun in school or not be a workaholic or something silly like that. She warily stared at the Flashmatic in her fist and wondered what the point of this dreamscape was.

"Ahem…" Evie cleared her throat, just going for it and giving it a shot. She addressed Tamaki who was still waiting for her orders. "And, uh… who are you?"

When she had meant to ask more along the lines of 'why are you here?' or 'what do you do?' Evie was a little startled to hear his ready answer. Tamaki gave her a dashing smile and said: "Why, I'm your most loyal subject. Your wish is my command."

"My wish?" She parroted, confused as she tilted her head. "Any wish?"

"I offer you my services," Tamaki bowed again in affirmation.

"Hm…" Evie thought, tapping her chin slyly. "So… you'll do anything?"

"For my queen," Tamaki grinned.

Evie smirked.

* * *

><p>"Will you wait up a second?! Jeez, I'm not trying to make you dinner!" Mary sprinted after the quickly disappearing white rabbit. She had followed its strange path, finding the darkness swallowed around behind her where she had been, refusing she go back. There was only forward, but that rabbit was too damn fast.<p>

Mary keeled over, throwing her hands to her knees as she wheezed. "God, I hate running…"

When Mary finally composed herself and looked up, tossing her hair back over her shoulder, she was surprised to see the world had filled in. There was the familiar, third-year cafeteria. The rows of empty tables were a bit daunting under the high-vaulted ceiling, but two figures sat across the room.

Mary looked back and saw that the blackness she had started in had completely disappeared. There was a door behind her leading out into the hall, but she had no recollection of passing through any such entrance. She let it go and forced her feet to march forward.

Her steps were echoed by the ticking clock that was steadily in the background, growing in volume in this new room. Mary could plainly see the bunny and mouse ears on the pair at the table, but she didn't know _why them_. Was she going through this backwards?

Mary finally stopped at the table and crossed her arms. She watched for a second as Honey took a monstrous bite of cake and hummed happily as he chewed. Mori was sat beside him, arms folded on the table, and an obvious bubble expanding and deflating to denote sleep. He dozed in silence, but she knew if she spoke to Honey, he'd be awake in a snap.

"Hey… have you guys seen a white rabbit?" Mary found herself asking the cliché question.

"Just me~!" Honey-senpai chuckled, picking the strawberry off another slice and popping it into his mouth.

"This is ridiculous…" Mary said, ruffling her hair and looking around. There seemed to be a million doors lining the walls around them. She had already forgotten the one she started at, it was all so mind-boggling. She shook her head and slammed her hands on the table. "This place is all in my head! Why don't I know where to go?"

"Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it's not real," Honey said, kicking his legs back and forth under the table.

"Thanks, Dumbledore; I'll log that away," Mary rolled her eyes.

The bubble popped and Mori shifted his position, raising his chin slightly. "Any less real…"

Honey giggled happily and gave Mori a pat on the head. He quickly went back to dreaming away.

Mary wrinkled her brow. "Okay… still not helping me pick a door…"

"If you're so sure this is a dream, then you'll always pick the right door. Right, Mary-chan?" Honey surmised, meeting her eyes for the first time since she got there.

Mary blanched. She straightened her posture. "Fine. I will."

The blonde passed them by and headed straight for the closest door. She gulped and firmly took the handle, twisting it and pulling the door towards herself. Peering inside, time seemed to stop. Rather, it was the ceaseless ticking that stopped. A hollow emptiness lay beyond, silent and cloaked in shadow.

Mary slammed the door. "Well, that wasn't right…"

Honey giggled again at the table behind her. Setting her jaw, Mary went to the next door, and the next, and the next. Each door held the same black silence. She shut the last in exasperation and turned around. Honey's supply of cake was never-ending, seemingly reappearing every time he finished another piece. Mori was unperturbed by the happenings, snoozing through it all.

Mary went back to their table more determined. She stopped across Honey-senpai, resting her hands on the table and staring him down. "What do I have to do to get out of this realm of yours?"

"Mine?" Honey asked in a sing-song voice that didn't express what should have been perplexing. "Silly, Mary-chan! This world is mine just as much as it's yours, right Takashi?"

The bubble popped again. "Yeah…"

"Fine, _ours,_ whatever," Mary rolled her eyes, not seeing the point of this. "You know, you guys weren't half as annoying in the real episode."

"Real? What's real?" Honey mused.

"Isn't any less real," Mori chimed in accordingly.

Mary lost her patience. "What do you mean 'any less real?' This whole place is fictional! It's fake! Even when I wake up from this mess, I'll be in a club room that doesn't exist. It's a show. It's not tangible – it's an author's imaginary world. They just made it up, and it's _not real_."

"Is that so?" Honey asked.

"Ye…" the 'yes' died in her throat. For the first time, Mary was genuinely agitated. She doubted for a split second, her arguments faltering and diminishing on her tongue.

Behind her, a door slowly opened on its own. Mary whirled around and saw the white light streaming out. With a glance to the two, she left them behind and ran for the next room.

* * *

><p>"Yay!" Evie cheered, clapping her hands in delight.<p>

Tamaki watched with staggering shock as Evie tore into the dessert he brought her at her command. He held up his hand for her attention, but he was very much ignored. "Won't you get… brain… freeze… your majesty…?"

Evie polished off the bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with a sigh. She tossed the bowl over her shoulder and a cat screamed in surprise. "Wow, you really _can_ grant any wish! That was great!"

"Y-Yes, of course, my queen," Tamaki desperately tried to get back into character, straightening his collar. "What else does my queen desire?"

Evie relaxed into her throne, propping her feet up on one of the arms and leaning into the other. She spun the Flashmatic around like a magic wand as she thought about something else Tamaki could run and get for her. Something more dramatic, more difficult to find than mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Hm~" she hummed, clasping the rod of the Flashmatic in both hands. She leapt up from her throne and pointed the end of her scepter at Tamaki, making him jump back in fear. "Off with his head!"

"Wah?!" Tamaki had hardly enough time to protest before he stared in horror at the mass amount of guards surrounding him. The soldiers leveled their spears in a perfect, circular formation around him.

"Haha, no I'm just kidding. Lay off," Evie waved the guards away. They casually went back to their original stances along her throne room. She took Tamaki's hand and personally helped him to his feet. "That was fun! I've always wanted to say that."

"How cruel…" Tamaki mumbled, still badly shaken with tears clinging to his eyes.

Evie jovially slapped him in the shoulder, reeling him around in circles. "Well, onto the next order of business! I have a command for you."

"Of c-course, you majesty!" Tamaki managed, regaining his bearings after he finally stopped spinning. His eyes swam as he saluted.

"Fetch me a bomber jacket!" Evie pointed down the row, aiming for him to run off to get one. "With all of the right, American insignias."

"A… what?" He faltered.

"You know," Evie's wide eyes blinked at him like he was the silliest thing in the world and not her request. "One of those jackets pilots wore in World War… oh… right… You probably don't remember that tidbit of American history. Darn."

"Never fear, my lady!" Tamaki's confidence grew at her disappointed frown. He bowed low, forcing Evie to jump back to dodge his hat or be smacked by it. "Your wish is my command! You will receive it shortly."

"Sweet," she commented, watching as he dashed off in a cloud of dust.

A few moments later, an exhausted Tamaki reappeared carting a bulky brown coat. He composed himself as he presented it to the Queen of Hearts. "Your majesty."

"Ooo, goody!" Evie said, snatching it from him with glee. She forced it around her dress and released her loose hair from out the back, pulling it around her shoulders and snuggling into the fur around the collar. Her eyes bulged and she stopped, suddenly returning to her throne with her scepter.

"Something the matter, my liege?" Tamaki seemed to be constantly thinking up new, regal titles to use to address her.

"No, I was just thinking…" Evie mulled over the Flashmatic, aiming it at herself. _Who's to say it wasn't the real one?_ She pressed the blank button on the back and static transformed her gown into the complete American pilot's regalia any Hetalia fan would nose bleed for. She twirled in her swanky, new outfit, admiring it from all angles. She peered through her square glasses in delight. "I could've just used this to get it! Ha. Oh, well, thanks anyways, senpai."

"No, no, it's my pleasure…" Tamaki's tired soul escaped from his mouth as he collapsed to the floor, his queen twirling in happy circles over her Alfred cosplay.

* * *

><p>The door shut behind Mary, and the ticking of the clock grew increasingly louder. She grit her teeth at the noise, starting forward towards blue sky. There was a long, open hall of stone pillars on either side of her like she was in some sort of temple like the Parthenon.<p>

"Great, Dee and Dum are around here somewhere…" Mary mumbled, eying the pillars with suspicion as she passed them by.

It wasn't long before the clock became even louder. Though she was sure she had made it at least halfway across by now, the line of pillars loomed ahead of her just as much as it had in the beginning. She was in a loop.

"Another trap," she observed.

"Always complaining," Hikaru's unmistakable voice made her jump even though she had been expecting it to come around eventually.

"Such a pity," Kaoru added.

Mary stopped. On her left leaning against a pillar was one twin, and on her right was the mirror image. If she hadn't had the experience, she would have sworn she was in a hall of mirrors rather than an open area.

"Just ignore them," Mary told herself as she confidently continued to stride forward.

The twins, both dressed as the purple Cheshire cat, appeared at alternating pillars following her along. They would wind around on one side and have their tail disappear, only to reappear sliding around the side of another stone column.

"Can't accept a good thing when it comes to her," Kaoru clicked his tongue, twitching his cat ears.

Hikaru whistled low. "Can't help the hopeless."

_They're so rude!_ Mary silently fumed. She clenched her fists to remain outwardly calm.

"Hey," Kaoru got her attention with the blatant command. He was directly ahead of her somehow, making her stop in her tracks

She turned around to find Hikaru directly behind her with his pawed hands on his hips. "We don't like being ignored."

Mary felt herself blush despite her scowl. "Well, what do you want?! I'm trying to find the white rabbit, and you two clowns are just a distraction."

Kaoru sidled up alongside his brother. They exchanged a surprised look. "Just a distraction?"

She hadn't meant to put it so harshly, but she couldn't allow herself to get too attached to anyone in Ouran. Mary and Evie had both known from the beginning that they were just there to mess around, have their fun, and then go back home after everything was said and done. Though it was supposed to be a fun adventure, Mary was finding it difficult to think about putting in the hard work to befriend the ginger boys before her if it was all for naught. If it really meant nothing in the end.

Still, she was red in the face and guilty enough to elaborate and form a sort of apology. "N-no, not like that, I mean… I like you guys. A _lot_. But… I have to let you go. You're not… real."

"That's funny," Kaoru tugged on his own shirt. "I don't feel like a hallucination."

Hikaru tapped the bottom of Mary's chin so she'd stop staring at her shoes. When she met his eyes, they were warmer than she expected. "You seem to care an awful lot for your imaginary friends then."

She smiled softly, relishing in the comfort and attention. It was rather against her will how much she liked Hikaru, considering by all logical accounts she should have preferred Kaoru in the long run… Mary abruptly ended the train of thought, her silly expression shattering and turning into a baffled frown as she stepped away. _Wait, what was she saying?!_

Holding her face like she could subtly hide her crimson cheeks behind her hands, Mary backed quickly away from the twins. "Sh-shut up! You guys are making me late – I've got to find the white rabbit!"

Mary turned away and found that the room had ended already. When she looked back, the twins had disappeared like they were never around. Shaking her head, Mary took a deep breath and walked down the stairs into the sunshine.

* * *

><p>"You know… When I said I wanted to learn how to surf, I wasn't expecting <em>you<em>'d be the one teaching me, senpai," Evie stared down at the blond in the sand.

"The Queen's wish is my command!" Tamaki said, tongue poking out of his mouth as he over-waxed the surfboard lying in front of him. He was sure to do a thorough job, but having no knowledge of the craft, it was quite a mess and white sand was sticking everywhere. "And I've always liked trying new things…"

Evie had wanted to think long and hard about her next request. She wanted to do something she'd always wanted to try, but the physical world had never allowed her an opportunity. Whether it was money, time, or some other worldly obstacle, Evie had never gotten the chance to try surfing in her young life. And it sounded like a fun idea.

She had no idea that the world would fit her request. Upon asking to learn how to surf, Tamaki had gathered up the shattered pieces of his spirit and dragged her off down the lines of soldiers. The helmets protectively turned as she went past them until the room had ended. The two had been somewhat magically transported to a beautiful beach. They had stepped immediately out onto a coast line where surfboards and choice waves were waiting for them.

Tamaki stood and dusted off his hands. He gave her a thumbs up. "We can figure it out together!"

Evie grinned, holding up her own surfboard. The handy Flashmatic had put her in a wetsuit, but Tamaki had to get along with his usual swimming trunks. Evie half-wondered if it was her dream that provided them from memory or some sort of magic if this land was real. Whatever the case, she knew Mary would be livid and thoroughly disappointed he wasn't in his Mad Hatter costume whenever she eventually got here.

"Senpai, are you sure you're doing that right?" Evie asked as Tamaki tossed his board in the ocean and followed after it. He had insisted he try figuring out the technique first before he'd let the queen break her neck out there.

He pushed it out, swimming alongside the red board. "Sure! It seems right, doesn't it?"

"I thought you had to be on it," Evie called from shore as he got further out.

She watched and laughed as Tamaki struggled onto the board, slipping and sliding all over the place.

"This is harder than it looks!" He shouted back to her. Eventually, Tamaki was on the surfboard in this entirely bizarre scenario, and he was floating drearily out towards the waves.

"Now what?" Evie asked, cupping her hands to her mouth so he'd hear her.

Before Tamaki could reply, a fin jutted out from the water next to him. He paled as it circled him and went under. "It's a shark!"

"Senpai!" Evie waved, trying to calm his fears.

Only taking it as a signal for danger, Tamaki panicked further. He huddled on the surfboard, rocking back and forth as he avoided touching the water at all costs. "There's a shark!"

"Senpai!"

"It's going to eat me!" Tamaki wailed.

"Senpai, it's a—!"

Evie's explanation wasn't needed. The finned creature broke through the water in delighted trills, flipped, and splashed back into the ocean in an arching dive. Tamaki watched it in relief, but the frozen terror was still stuck on his face. "A… dolphin?"

Evie giggled from the shore as Tamaki steadily made his way back in. She shoved her board into the sand and sighed. "Eh, forget it. I can learn how to surf some other time."

"Are you sure, my queen?" Tamaki was still using the silly jargon as he waded through the shallow water, lugging the board behind him.

Evie plucked up the Flashmatic from the sand, examining it. "Yeah…"

She didn't wait for Tamaki to catch up as she started to walk down the shore. She marveled at the salty breeze ruffling the palm trees overhead and the seagulls cawing as they gathered on the beach and stretched their wings to the horizon. Every crash of the waves, every picture-perfect cloud in the sky, and every grain of sand under her toes was in place. Ouran's world was so flawless.

"It's unreal how perfect everything is…" Evie remarked under her breath. She stopped along the shore where the water lapped at her feet. It was a clean, clear blue. "I wish real life was like this."

Tamaki appeared at her side, arms folded as he stared at the slowly sinking sun to complete the picturesque landscape.

"Even if you guys don't know it… your world is amazing!" She smiled up at him.

Tamaki's expression softened. "Just because we may not live in the same world as you… doesn't make us any less real."

Suddenly, the audio was cut out. The waves, the seagulls, the wind, the light, lilting background music – all of it disappeared like it was ripped off a record player. Evie's heart pounded in fear as everything melted around her, the blackness she recognized from the beginning in her throne room closing around her until the sky, the beach, and even Tamaki disappeared before her. She felt like she was slipping down a hole, falling, falling, falling back into reality.

* * *

><p>"It's a bummer there hasn't been a Renge to throw into prison…" Mary commented, looking around at the poolside stretching out before her. She held a hand over her eyes to shield her vision from the blinding sun. The last person she needed to meet was waiting atop a mushroom, smoking a pipe that blew bubbles.<p>

Mary made her way around the deep water, peering in and remembering it was supposed to be filled with tears. All of the tears Haruhi cried. _Was it her tears this time? Evie's?_ She shivered at the thought.

The girl stopped at the lower mushroom, folding her arms over it and leaning against the squishy surface. She peered up thoughtfully. "You know, if this is my dream, I'd rather you wear something less stupid."

Kyoya slowly turned to look down at her. His pen hovered over his usual book of gibberish notes. His glasses gleamed.

"The caterpillar costume," Mary continued unprompted, eying the big, ugly suit. "Hm, maybe we could compromise, and you can be a butterfly…"

"You can happily buzz off if you're just here to annoy me," he quipped, scribbling in his notebook again.

Mary huffed at her bangs, resting her chin in her hand dejectedly. "I honestly don't know why I like going to you for advice. I'm sure I could weasel it out of Tamaki eventually, and I wouldn't have to deal with the insults."

"Eventually," Kyoya agreed, still interested in his work.

Mary eyed the little toadstools attached to the two biggest ones. She nearly wanted to risk biting one, and then maybe she'd turn into a hot girl he'd listen to. _Who am I kidding?_ She smirked to herself. "I'll get out of your hair if you give me some of that famous advice knocking around your brain."

Instead of agreeing to the deal like she was waiting for, Kyoya finally asked: "Well, are you just going to gawk at me, or are you going to ask your question?"

Mary stuck out her tongue, but she blurted her confession anyways. "Why do I feel this way? This is a show, and I know it. Logically, it shouldn't feel so… real. And everyone I've run into today keeps telling me otherwise! Say it to me straight, Kyoya-senpai. Tell me this is all illogical and definitely not real."

Kyoya thoughtfully smoked his bubble pipe. "Using logic, where you are right now is real. You can observe and touch and feel. Who's to say your own world isn't imaginary in this one?"

"Great, even you're a nutcase," Mary threw her face down onto the mushroom and grumbled.

"I don't understand why the concept it so difficult for you to grasp," Kyoya said this so practically, like it was the time of day. "Even if this _was_ all imaginary as you say, what makes your experiences or the things you think and feel any less real than in your own world?"

Mary looked up again.

Kyoya casually held is pipe out, staring up at the crystal clear sky. "You're purporting the argument that you, in fact, are not real here either. That nothing exists in this plane at all. Which is a ridiculous notion. No?"

Mary clutched her shirt above her heart. She had nothing to say to this.

Annoyed once again, the sassy caterpillar went back to his work with a snide remark in her direction. "That was all, I hope. My patience for playing your fairy godmother is running low."

"Yeah, I guess you pretty much covered…" she had nearly forgotten her original reasoning for her adventure. Mary sighed with a sad smile. "Actually… have you, by any chance, seen a white rabbit?"

The first to give her a straight answer, Kyoya pointed his pen over his shoulder at an open door she hadn't noticed earlier. She slowly left the mushrooms behind and meandered over, peering into the new room curiously.

Familiar string music was almost completely drowned out by the ticking of the clock, which was absolutely shaking the walls and windows. A set of double doors was at the end of the hall where a black sign hung overhead for a music room. Mary paused before the double doors and looked down.

In the middle of the floor was the white rabbit.

Mary knelt down and tentatively reached her hand out. The rabbit was tired from all of the running, and it was calm in her presence now. She had no problem petting its head and finally scooping it up and holding it in the lap of her short blue dress.

"This has been a lot harder than I thought it was going to be…" Mary admitted to it. "I don't like trusting people. I don't like not knowing. But… I guess… we all eventually have to step out there. No more running."

The rabbit's nose twitched a mile a minute with its tiny heartbeat. Mary picked it up, noting her name still on the heart about its neck. She stood and looked up at Music Room #3's door. She bit her lip and turned the handle.

The clock stopped. Fading in from the background was increasing string music of the familiar Sakura Kiss orchestral. Mary sadly smiled and set the rabbit down before the open door. She tapped it to encourage it to move forward. "Go on… Don't be afraid."

The rabbit hopped into the room and immediately disappeared. Rose petals fluttered to the ground at Mary's feet as the door shut. She just had to trust it was okay in there. She placed her palm against the door. "Take good care of him… okay?"

The world turned darker and darker with every step Mary took away from the door. But her heart felt lighter. Better. Newer. She was going to make the most of the time she had here. Here with the characters that had grown so close to her heart. And she'd cherish those memories forever.

* * *

><p>Evie peered through the nothingness around her apprehensively. Then, all too thankfully, a familiar blonde head appeared. She sighed and waved to her, glad to not be alone. "Mary! Mary!"<p>

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya," Mary smiled, reaching her friend after a short jog. She looked over Evie's wetsuit, and questions were immediately raised on either side.

Mary was vague in how her journey ended. Evie was all too happy she had seen the other hosts in their respective, Wonderland attire and up to their usual antics. Mary finished her story by retelling that she found the rabbit, and then reappeared here after the colors faded away, skipping the part where she entrusted the host club with her rabbit and the precious locket about its neck.

Evie's story sounded like she was straight up on crack. Evie had to insist many times to her friend that it wasn't nearly as weird as it all sounded in her retelling, even if it was a little bizarre around the edges. She was disturbed by Mary's stone-cold expression.

"What's with that face?!" Evie burst, skipping how everything ended after Tamaki's poignant line of dialogue.

"So… Tamaki was basically… your _slave_…?" Mary slowly asked, obvious suspicion in her expression.

"Yeah, basically!" Evie innocently chirped in response.

Mary held up her hands in surrender. "You know what? Never mind. You don't even know what smut is. Crisis averted."

Both girls jumped back unexpectedly, groggily facing each other across a tea table and rubbing their sore necks from where they fell asleep.

"Did you just dream…?" Evie asked amidst a yawn.

Mary nodded, finishing her own yawn. "That Tamaki was your potential sex slave?"

"That you were dressed as Alice, and I was the Queen of Hearts and all of the hosts were there?" Evie finished with the important details.

"And we just woke up out of nowhere?" Mary asked.

Evie nodded.

Mary blinked. "Yeah, that was trippy as hell."

Evie jumped from her chair and smoothed out the wrinkles in her Ouran girl's uniform. She stretched to the ceiling and spun around to get her limbs moving again. The hosts were dressed in much less realistic costumes (and strangely enough, Kyoya was dressed as a girl) for their Wonderland tea party, and all of the girls were giggling and chatting happily with their respective favorites.

Mary immediately found Hikaru and Kaoru, her gaze lingering slightly longer on the former before he looked up, and she was caught. She quickly looked away with a small smile.

"You coming?" Evie waved her hand in front of Mary's face.

"Yeah," Mary said, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet and dragged across the room by her best friend. She quickly snapped out of her dazed state when she heard what she was telling Tamaki.

"—craziest dream ever! Everyone was there, but you and I were in this huge throne room," Evie continued her tale, Tamaki completely and obliviously riveted along with his guests as they all leaned forward to hear the juicy details.

"Evie!" Mary shrieked, bopping her over the head. She had to prevent her friend from telling more or else some of the more perverted minds (like her own) would make the connection to the possibilities of Tamaki being Evie's 'slave' in her dream universe. "Don't tell people when they're in your dreams – it's weird!"

"Hey! Don't be so mean!" Evie whined, holding her head protectively.

"Now, now, ladies, no need to argue," Tamaki tried to charm in way into an intervention. "Why don't you allow Evie-chan to finish her stor—?"

"Like hell! Who asked you anyways, senpai?" Mary snapped.

"Aw, the boss wants to know what Evie-senpai's been dreaming about him," Hikaru appeared and twisted Tamaki's cheek.

"He can't wait to twist it in his perverted ways," Kaoru added on Tamaki's other side.

"Perverted?!" Tamaki shouted. He went into straight lecture mode, convincing his guests he probably had low blood sugar and was hallucinating again. "I assure you it is perfectly normal for a daughter to share her dreams with her father!"

"Look what you did," Evie glared at her friend who was smirking proudly. She poked her in the nose and made her swat at her in response.

"What?" Mary pouted, holding her nose so it wouldn't be poked again.

"You know, I was just thinking about the next episode…" Evie said, staring up at the ceiling with interest.

"You are?" Mary asked, scrunching her nose. She couldn't recall what the next episode was herself, so it surprised her that Evie had. "Why?"

Evie's eyes gleamed evilly, making Mary cringe in fear of something utterly unholy happening next time around. "I have an _idea!_"


	21. Escape of the Famous Host Club!

Phew. Hey, it's been awhile! I've been finishing up a few chapter stories on my main account, so this poor story bit the dust in the meantime. Evie made me feel bad enough though, so I updated as soon as I could! xD Just kidding, I've really been meaning to get back here. I've missed this story a lot, so I'm glad I can finally start writing for it again with less stress on my shoulders. Thanks for reading!

Much thanks to Neko-Mitsuko for the review! I'm glad your mom thought this was cute, baha. xD

* * *

><p><strong>Escape of the Famous Host Club!<strong>

* * *

><p>Mary stared out the window in a daze, rocking back and forth despite the smooth movement of the limousine. Low radio was playing over the speakers, but it was otherwise quiet. Leaning her cheek against the glass, Mary tried to take in every inch of the world zipping by the car. She couldn't believe Evie's plan had worked…<p>

Evie had entered the next episode with confidence, striding straight up to Kyoya first thing. Mary had watched in wonder as she spoke with him, and he flipped open his phone to give instructions. Evie had skipped back over, swinging on her heels with a grin, telling Mary to wait and see.

As it turned out, the newspaper club was scheming against the Host Club this episode. All Evie had to do was warn Kyoya of their plans, and as he trusted her knowledge of the future, it was simple to get to their headquarters and put a stop to their tabloids.

Of course, it wasn't the Host Club personally handling the situation. To keep their hands clean, they were kept as far from the newspaper crew as possible. Suoh lawyers were currently swarming them, politely warning that false tabloids were frowned up. And Renge was called and informed of the escapade, staying back to do any damage control if necessary. She proved to be a good manager after all.

With everything taken care of so early, Mary half-expected the episode to cut off then and there. But they still had their allotted twenty three minutes or so. And there they were. Out on Evie's adventure.

"_Don't you see? You said yourself that you got to leave with the twins and explore,"_ Evie's eyes were alight that morning. The boys were debating what to do behind them since they were all being forced off of campus for the messy day – Evie and Mary guilty by association. Everyone was gathered outside on the front steps, and Tamaki and the twins were fighting over who had the superior limo to take. Mary had been doubtful, but Evie's enthusiasm was convincing. _"Think of the places we could go! We're literally traversing the limits of Bisco Hatori's imagination! It's incredible!"_

"Incredible…" Mary mumbled, unable to come up with a better word for it. Because really, it was just that. Incredible. She stared up at the buildings and voluminous clouds overhead, the limo speeding by the street signs and passing pedestrians on the sidewalks. They expertly wove around corners, and careened down the streets of this perfectly populated, functioning world.

"Hm? Whatcha say?" Evie nudged her with her elbow, smiling as she was sitting beside her. She was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, all ready for a vacation like she was a tourist here.

Mary shook her head, smiling back with a shrug. "Nothing."

"What are we going to do today, boss?" Hikaru whined, sitting upside down with his feet to the ceiling, poking away at his cell phone. "There's nothing fun in this town."

"Yeah, we're all for free days, but we didn't exactly plan for a daycation," Kaoru agreed, tossing a hacky-sack between his hands. "Couldn't we have flown to Martinique or something?"

"But Evie-chan and Mary-chan don't have passports!" Honey reasoned, happily swinging his legs and hugging Usa-chan in his lap. He was sipping on a lemonade, taking a slurp through the straw before continuing. "Since they're kicked out of school, too, we can't just leave them behind. That's not very nice at all!"

"Yeah," Mori said, elbow on the sill as he looked out the window at the traffic much like Mary was.

"Aw, couldn't we just buy passports?" Kaoru asked, slumping in his seat.

"Or leave them with a board game…?" Hikaru suggested under his breath.

"We're a family, and as a family, no one gets left behind!" Tamaki said, testy with their attitude. He slapped his knees with renewed spirit. "I'm sure we'll all find something fun to do together! Ooo! We could explore the commoner's market and street shops!"

The twins released groans of boredom, but they had no further retort. The only sound for awhile was Honey's bubbling as he reached the end of the sugary drink, trying to suck the bejesus out of every last drop.

Mary adopted a rueful expression, crossing her arms and slouching as she wondered what was so great about leaving Ouran with the Host Club in the first place. Half the magic of the show was the location and all of the silly things that happened there in a rich kids' school, so being in such a normal environment was a little bizarre and listless. Also, Hikaru was getting on her nerves already.

Evie was still outrageously pumped, bouncing in her seat and sitting as straight as she could with a tune to hum as they drove along. She was the only one to notice Kyoya alone, off to the side in the corner as he appeared to be doing some sort of figuring with a calculator and his notebook open on his lap. She guessed he was calculating how much money they were losing since they weren't going to see their guests today. Or maybe he was counting the profit margins for that new magazine they published. Oki Doki something or other. Frivolous Host Club crap that the guests were all too eager to waste their money on… and something Evie secretly wanted to peek through herself.

Tamaki was hopping around with ideas, suddenly holding brochures procured from God-knows-where, as he tried to organize a plan to visit all of the local shopping malls with Evie's peppy input in the seat across from him. Kaoru missed his hacky-sack toss, and it went flying at Mary's head, which only resulted in her throwing it back to hit Hikaru on purpose. Honey's face was blue from his persistence with the straw, and Mori was trying to dislodge it from his vacuum sealed face. Kyoya became irritated as the noise level grew, slamming his notebook and realizing he wasn't going to get any work done today.

"I have to pee!"

All eyes turned to Honey-senpai who had his hand in the air like he was answering a question in class. They all blinked in unison.

"Me, too!" Evie joined him, thrusting her hand above her head.

Tamaki cleared his throat, using his king voice. "Anyone else in need of the facilities?"

Heads shook in the negative.

"Very well! We shall make a short pit stop for Evie-senpai and Honey-senpai before our journey!"

The chauffer pulled to the side of the road at the announcement, parking parallel in front of one of the malls Tamaki was so excited to see. He was so thrilled to recognize the name that he burst from the car first before anyone else could clamber out.

Soon, everyone was standing on the sidewalk, staring up at the complex before them. Similar buildings surrounded the block, creating a maze of urban development and speedy people with places to go. Evie ran up to the directory sign and searched for a public restroom, quickly pointing it out on the map.

"Let's go, Evie-chan!" Honey fist pumped, running to her side and leaving Mori's in the process.

"We shall await your return here!" Tamaki gave him a thumbs up, absolutely glowing. He clasped his hands by his cheek with a dreamy expression. "It's like we're on a real field trip~!"

Mori made to follow after them, but he was stopped by Mitsukuni.

"Don't worry, Takashi! We'll be right back!" Honey waved him down. Mori bent so the little blond could pat his head in a fatherly way. "You take care of Mary-chan while we're gone, okay?"

"Yeah…" he said, though he doubted the little spit fire currently still bickering with the twins would be in need of any protection he could offer.

"Okay~!" Honey jumped, pointing down the busy hall with stores packed back to back. "Come on, Evie-chan; I smell an adventure!"

"I think that's the deep fried food, but alright!" Evie giggled, hurrying to catch up with him. She turned and threw a wave to Mary. It was returned with a lackluster eye roll, as a bathroom break did not garner so many fare wells in Mary's mind.

Kaoru put his hacky-sack in his jean pocket, hooking his thumbs in the corners as he let out a sigh. Brushing off the blue sleeve of his stylish shirt, Hikaru crossed his arms in frustration. Kyoya pulled up his cuff and checked his watch. Mori stood stolidly waiting as Tamaki paced in circles around him. Mary tapped her foot with impatience, finally huffing at her bangs.

"I should've known! Evie gets lost all of the time. I'm going in after them. Wait here," she held her hands stiffly at her sides, stomping towards the entrance out of the sunlight. She jumped in surprise when she noticed Mori falling into step beside her, but she should have expected that, too. He'd be a good magnet to Honey-senpai anyways. _Was like a compass, this guy…_

"Actually, I could use a trip now myself," Kyoya tagged along, putting his hands in his pockets.

"But what if the mall eats you, too?!" Tamaki feared, clutching at his face like _The Scream_.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kyoya admonished. "They've only been gone seven minutes."

"We'll be back before you know it!" Mary saluted. Her low pigtails bounced off her shoulders as she took the lead, disappearing down the long hall.

"But…!" Tamaki held his hand out, watching as even Mori blended with the crowds. He firmly nodded his head. "Okay, we follow them if they're not back in thirty seconds!"

"Right!" The twins agreed, shouldering him side to side.

* * *

><p>"Eh?"<p>

Evie and Honey eyed the empty parking spot where they had left the limo and their friends. They tilted their heads in puzzlement, wondering if they were in the right area.

"Where did everybody go?" Evie asked, holding a hand over her eyes as a visor as she looked up and down the street.

Honey got to his tiptoes to mimic the action, pursing his lips into a pout. "This is where we started, right, Evie-chan?"

"I'm positive!" Evie nodded, frowning with her hands on her hips. She turned back to the mall. "Did they go in after us? We had to wait quite a while in line after taking that wrong detour towards the shoe store…"

"But why is Tama-chan's limo gone?" Honey asked, pointing to the deserted spot.

"I… don't… know…" she carefully thought it out with a finger to her lips. Evie twirled on her heel, beckoning for Honey to follow her. "They probably circled the block! There's another entrance on the south side, right? Let's check there!"

"Okay!" Honey agreed with the logic, hopping after her.

The two marched back inside, not realizing the limo pulling up, coming back to the two parking squares it hogged. Out hopped Tamaki and the twins, looking more frantic than usual.

"We've scoped out all of the exits! They have to be inside!" Tamaki declared, planting his foot with authority.

"But we checked everywhere," Hikaru hung his shoulders.

"You were right, boss! The mall really did eat them!" Kaoru trembled.

"Brave faces, men! Brace yourselves – we're entering the abyss!" Tamaki pointed forward.

But Kaoru refused to get lost, too. And so, they regrouped at the limo, determined to loop around once again. They then proceeded to give the driver wrong directions, resulting in them circling the next block over.

* * *

><p>"They weren't in there?!"<p>

Mori and Kyoya shook their heads as they left the divided bathroom area to meet back up with Mary. She bit her nails, starting to pace back and forth.

"If I had the Flashmatic, I could stop all of this before it gets out of hand… I knew we shouldn't have let the two dimmest bulbs go off on their own!" She cursed angrily.

Kyoya's eyebrows rose, holding the bridge of his glasses. "Rather a stark insult…"

Mary rolled her eyes, twisting one of her pigtails around her fingers. "I didn't mean it! I'm angry! Well, only a little. Evie's just bad with directions. I walked right into this."

Mori stood between them, looking left and right as he observed the faces around the trio. No one resembled a ponytailed brunette and a kid-sized blond boy with a rabbit. He was getting antsier, but he didn't have that feeling of impending doom like when he was usually separated from Mitsukuni. Evie's training in martial arts probably soothed that fear somewhat… yet that didn't feel like the whole truth.

"Is there more than one exit to this place? Maybe they accidentally wound up on the wrong side," she deduced, pointing to the left.

Kyoya crossed his arms. "That's where we entered."

Mary paused before she quickly agreed, changing the direction of her point. "Right. This way!"

"It appears they're both directionally challenged," he muttered, following after her before Mary, too, could disappear. He hesitated, finding the third member of their party wasn't with them. He turned. "Mori-senpai? Do you see something?"

Having been lost in thought, Mori shook his head. He loosened the collar of his shirt and met with Kyoya.

Mary emerged from the open arch first, squinting at the bright lights of the outdoors. With a quick look up and down the lane, she grumbled. "Not here either…"

"We'd best head back to meet Tamaki and the twins," Kyoya said as he stopped beside her. He beckoned his head back towards the shopping center. "They might have beat us back without us realizing it."

"That makes sense…" Mary nodded with an exasperated sigh. She stood at the curb an extra second, wondering how she missed seeing Evie in such a narrow place. Unless there were multiple restrooms… _Bisco Hatori sure knew how to make a labyrinth!_

Mary couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Evie was off adventuring with Honey-senpai, and she was stuck with the quietest characters on the show. Her time this episode would no doubt be a bore. Mary pushed back her bangs and resigned to the chore.

Before she could turn around and follow Kyoya and Mori back into the mall, a car raced by. Its tire dipped towards a puddle by the curb, splashing all sorts of nastiness all over a shell-shocked Mary who shrieked in surprise from both disgust and the cold. Her jeans and blousy grey shirt were stuck uncomfortably to her skin, smelling of swampy water and sour city waste. Paralyzed with her arms up defensively over her face, Mary slowly unfroze herself, wishing she could have reacted quicker and at least cursed the driver.

Mori hadn't the time to react to the freak accident, but he was quick to guide her away from the street. Mary couldn't help the tears of embarrassment in her eyes as people openly gaped at her. _Had cartoon people no shame?!_

"I suppose the first order of business is finding you some new clothes," Kyoya said, rifling through his pockets to make sure he had the wallet with his gold card.

"You okay?" Mori sympathized, searching his own jacket pockets.

"Yeah…" she managed, now angry with herself for being so close to the street. Mary glared up at Kyoya, shaking her arms of the sludge as Mori provided her with a handkerchief for her skin. "You seem awfully generous today. Going on my tab, I assume?"

"No," he shortly answered, keeping his fair distance from her as he re-entered the building. He called back over his shoulder, waving his hand for them to follow. "I'd rather not be seen with someone so foul-smelling. Consider it a favor!"

"Of course!" Mary grouched, trudging alongside Mori-senpai. As he didn't accept the handkerchief she handed back to him, she balled it up and threw it away. "Just when I think I've got it easy…!"

* * *

><p>"Was this where we started? Or was it the other way…?" Evie twirled around, having gotten herself truly lost with all of the backtracking they had done.<p>

Honey frowned as he looked stonily out at the street. Strings of irritation buzzed around his head like flies, and he was wearing a dangerous glare.

Evie chuckled warily, rubbing the back of her head. Her own stomach was growling, so she got the hint. Perking back up, she jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. "Hey, want to search for a place to get a bite? I could use a pick-me-up!"

"Yay~!" Honey cheered, throwing Usa-chan in the air as he spun and caught the bunny. He merrily skipped to her, grabbing Evie's hand and dragging her to the nearest food source. He had a nose for these things, and when he was low on sugar, Honey could find it just about anywhere. He plowed through people, toting Evie along like a kite, until they reached a little café just outside the mall on the corner.

"Wow! And here we are," she said, staring up at the cute sign with their chibi mascot of a pig beside the name.

Evie was hunched in order for Honey to hold her hand, and she felt like she was entering a children's playhouse of pastel colors. Honey had no ifs, ands, or buts as he forced her in, and a kind waitress showed them to an empty table. Unlike the place Mary found herself in that had a European theme, the drinks were decidedly unfamiliar from what Evie could read, so she went with water. Honey helped her order a sandwich while he bought half the dessert menu.

As none of the entrées were cooked, their food arrived soon enough. It was a good thing, too, as Honey was still stewing. His face immediately lit up at the appearance of his various cakes, and the restaurant got an eyeful of him impressively downing it with a finesse akin to a snake unhinging its jaw.

Evie munched on her sandwich in quiet awe tinged with fear at his super human ability to consume sweets. Honey noticed her staring, and she quickly looked down at her plate. "Thanks so much, senpai. You didn't have to pay for me…"

"Silly~! You still owe us a vase. How can you afford lunch?" He hummed, not realizing how it could be taken as an insult.

Evie pursed her lips. "Well, that vase is worth a helluva lot more than a turkey club…"

She eyed the establishment around them, finding girls giggling and pointing at them. When Evie was paranoid something was stuck to her face or her shoe and was checking herself, she realized it was Honey they were looking at. He was adorably singing with his stuffed bunny and eating his food, but in this world, it wasn't something to be mocked. No, these girls were instantly _obsessed_ with him. His cuteness won them over, as was his trait as a host, and he had fans whenever he entered the public eye. It was a little baffling, but it was a pleasant change from the crueler world she was accustomed to.

"Evie-chan?" His fork poked at the green fondant decoration atop his next slice.

She was wary of his serious tone, ignoring the girls ogling him. "What's up?"

Honey himmed and hawed about his question, his free hand flicking Usa-chan's ear back and forth as he thought. She had to wonder if he was actively ignoring his popularity or if he was just so used to it by this point that he didn't even notice. She began to understand Tamaki's ego a little better. "You know about the future, right?"

"Well… yeah," Evie decided, sitting up a bit straighter. _And she thought his Bermuda shorts were going to be the strangest thing about today. _She tugged on the hem of her own shorts, pulling them lower. "What did you want to know?"

Honey suddenly jumped, reaching into his pocket. He eyed his phone for a second, noting the contact that was illuminated there as it vibrated. He didn't want to lose this conversation though, so he pressed the end button and looked back to Evie who was inquisitively watching him.

"What would you tell me?" He countered, looking perceptive despite his childish grin. Evie was taken aback. "You said that you and Mary-chan are waiting for a story to play out, so you can leave… Is it a good story? Does it turn out okay? Will everyone be happy?"

_He's… He's… He's still so __cute__!_ Evie shook her head to clear her thoughts, distracted by his magnetic, loliboy charm. _Get serious!_ She cleared her throat, setting the corner left of her sandwich back on the plate. She propped her elbows up on the table. "You've got nothing to worry about, Honey-senpai. I promise!"

"But what can you tell me?" Honey persisted, scooting forward in his seat and stuffing some more cake in. Once he swallowed, he prompted: "Since you're from the future, do you have any advice?"

"Advice?" She blanched, completely at a loss. Sure, Mary would come to her for advice but Honey-senpai? Evie felt very underqualified. What if she screwed everything up with whatever her reply was? Well… she always was reassuring Mary of that same, old, tired fact. They were going to change everything back to normal in the end. So it didn't matter. Evie smiled wide. "Well… if you want to know what I think…?"

He nodded his head enthusiastically, so she sighed and went on. "Keep doing what you're doing, Honey-senpai. Don't change. Don't grow up, and keep life fun! Go pick some dandelions!"

"Dandelions?" He wrinkled his nose, cake crumbs stuck to his cheek.

Evie blinked. "Oh. Is that an American thing?"

He laughed. "Haha, no! But okay, Evie-chan. Whatever you say~!"

She rolled her eyes and determined to eat the rest of her sandwich… before Honey's bottomless pit of a stomach could get to it first.

* * *

><p>Mary gawked at the designer store Mori and Kyoya just wandered into like it was an everyday Wal-Mart. She idly picked up a sleeve to try and discreetly catch a price tag to see what they were working with, but the store was so high end that their prices weren't on display. She whistled low and caught up to the boys talking to a sales representative.<p>

"Oh, you poor dear!" The woman gasped upon seeing her blotched shirt and pants.

Mary shrugged, quite used to the stench by now and already drying off. "I know – I'm a wreck."

"Right this way!" She chuckled, guiding her to a curtained area. Mary shamelessly stared up at the chandeliers overhead. _Did everyone in this show have shit tons of money?!_ "Just step through there. You can change in here while I help your friends shop! Do you know your sizes?"

Brought back by the woman trying to do her job, Mary shuffled her feet as she drew back the corner of the curtain to peer into the roomy changing area. "There are multiple sizes? I just need a top and pants, yeah?"

"Alright then…" she said, patting her coiffed curls atop her head.

"We can take it from here," Kyoya dismissed her. Mary stepped behind the curtain and slid out of her gross clothes, piling them to the side. "Do you have any preferences?"

"Whatever you're not going to gripe about later will do just fine," Mary retorted, hugging her shoulders in the highly air-conditioned department store. "Just remember I didn't pick this place!"

"Fair enough," Kyoya surrendered. He turned to the taller young man who was looking around the place like he was lost in a zoo. "Mori-senpai? Would you like to find something for her to wear?"

Mori shrugged, going off in the first direction and grabbing handfuls of clothes from the racks.

Kyoya flipped open his cell phone, hoping to reach Tamaki to let him know of their change in plans. It rang ceaselessly until he cut off the connection, trying another number. After the fourth try, he grew frustrated.

"No one is answering their phone…" Kyoya announced, closing his own cell with a snap. He could just picture Tamaki and the Hitachiins running around in a blind panic, getting themselves lost in the city in the process. "Morons…"

He was curious as to why Honey-senpai wasn't answering, but those theories would be left for another time as Mori approached with an armful of choices. Kyoya's eyebrows rose, his glasses clearing as he looked up in surprise at the hodge-podge of clothes. "Ah. Quite a selection."

Mary was becoming impatient as she was left in her underwear, feeling terribly awkward that Kyoya and Mori were just on the other side of this sheer wall. She let out a terrified scream when the curtain was pulled back and the object of her horror was standing there with a dress in hand. "Jesus, what's the matter with you, Kyoya?! Don't just waltz in here!"

"I didn't see how else to hand it to you. Don't be so over-dramatic," Kyoya retaliated, infuriatingly calm about the whole matter.

"Pass them through the _curtain!_" Mary demanded, snatching the dress and yanking the curtain back in place. They could hear her muttering curses as she hopping into the red number and zipped it up the side.

"Well? Is it to your liking?" Kyoya asked, ignoring Mori as he waved around a blouse for her to try instead.

"It's… a little much, honestly…" Mary finally said, staring into the big mirror provided for her. "Yeah, no. This won't go with my shoes. Next!"

"Try this," Kyoya said, taking the blouse from Mori and sticking it through the curtain.

Mary retrieved it with a sarcastic tone, dropping the dress around her ankles and putting it back on the hanger before changing into the shirt. "There. Was that so hard?"

He snorted in irritation, and she chuckled. Pulling the blouse over her head, Mary freed her hair and looked in the mirror. It was a soft pink with a high collar and no sleeves. She admired it, twirling back and forth. "Huh… Actually, I like this a lot. Got anything to go with it?"

"Mori-senpai, it's a winner," Kyoya told him. Calling over the curtain, he said: "Coming right up, your highness."

_How incredibly strange…_ Mary shook out her hair, fixing her pigtails after the fact as she tried on another skirt handed to her. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever go clothes shopping with the Host Club. Especially not the pair she was stuck with. _If anything, Tamaki would be a blast in here_…

Her face darkened at the thought of the twins in this situation. She couldn't stand their taste in fashion, so it would be one, inane screaming match until she lost two against one and wound up in something entirely inappropriate for a public place with lots of families.

She rolled her eyes, somehow wishing they were here despite all that. Having the Host Club split up was strange. They worked better as a group, but things always got out of control fast. Mary smiled at the thought, hoping Evie was off with a strange setup of her own.

"Well? Have you chosen something?" Kyoya asked, not bothering to disguise the exhaustion in his voice. He and Mori had been running all across and back through the store, creating quite the tornado in their wake. The sales rep was testily reorganizing racks they had been through, glaring daggers at them and wishing their hasty leave.

The curtain pulled back, and Mary stepped out in the blouse Mori had originally chosen with a simple grey skirt. She cutely smiled with genuine happiness - a first for her. "Yeah, thanks, guys! This is great!"

"Very good," Kyoya smiled gallantly in return. He spread his arm out towards the counter. "Shall we?"

Mary followed, swishing her skirt with a broad grin and a happy giggle. She pointed to her shoes as she walked, looking to Mori. "See? See how they match? Isn't it great?"

"Yeah," he agreed in his quiet way.

"Found something you like?" The original sales woman smiled politely at them across the counter.

"Yes," Kyoya greeted her with a professional nod. The woman looked over her choices and rang up the items on her computer.

"I really appreciate it, Kyoya-senpai – this blouse is the greatest thing ever! Mori-senpai, you've got a good eye!" She complimented. Mori smiled, scratching his neck.

"Good, because I changed my mind. It's going on your tab," Kyoya said, handing over his credit card to the woman who quickly swiped it.

Mary's jaw dropped, her glare returning at the insult to her trust. She pouted her lips and crossed her arms. "You sneaky son of a bitch…"

"We should focus on finding the others. This setback has put us behind a good twenty minutes," he said, retrieving his card and leaving them behind.

Mary hurried to catch up, back to mumbling and grumbling to herself like an angry little girl whose lollipop was taken from her. Mori kept a safe distance, hoping Mitsukuni wasn't being such a bother to poor Evie.

* * *

><p>"That was really fun, Honey-senpai! Thanks!" Evie said, jauntily in step with him.<p>

Honey swung Usa-chan around, almost reeling off into a passerby. "Mm~! I love a good snack! We're glad you joined us, isn't that right, Usa-chan?"

Evie giggled, feeling more and more at ease in this world and with the people in it. She remembered when the Hosts were this phenomena. Untouchably distant and more or less on a pedestal of fictional princedom. But after the time she spent here in Ouran, they were starting to feel like real people. And not just that but friends. And Honey was a good friend she was glad to have.

Rapid, pounding footsteps grew in volume. Evie heard them in time to turn around just as she stepped outside, getting tackled by what felt like a linebacker. She staggered and found Mary latched to her waist. "Is this going to be a regular thing?"

"Where have you been?!" Mary scolded, pushing away and whacking her friend in the arm. "We've been all over looking for you two!"

Mori held up a hand in greeting before Honey mimicked Mary and hug tackled him, soon on his shoulders. He happily drummed Mori's head and laughed, his flowers dancing around his head's pink aura. "Takashi! Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah," Mori half-lied. Shopping wasn't his forte, but he could think of worse things to do.

"We went for lunch when we couldn't find you guys," Evie explained, observing her friend's new outfit. "You look fabulous!"

"Right!? Kyoya and Mori picked it out for me!" Mary giggled girlishly despite the consequences of the price tag.

Evie clapped her hands over her cheeks in shock. "NO WAY."

A limo blew a dust trail as it flew up to the curb, the original spot everyone disembarked earlier that day, in fact. Out came the twins and Tamaki, looking panicked. "There you are!"

"About time you goons found your way back," Kyoya greeted in turn with a nod and an annoyed frown.

"Mommy, I looked _everywhere!_" Tamaki sobbed, running in for his own hug.

It was rebuffed with an outstretched hand, smacking him square in the face like a brick wall. "Answer your phone next time, and none of this would have happened."

"Kyoyaaaa…" Tamaki whined, muffled by the other's hand.

"Let's go," Kyoya pushed up his glasses, finally surrendering a smile.

"Way to get yourself lost," Hikaru snapped, always starting his conversations with Mary in the rudest ways possible. He also had his hands in his pockets as usual, the pinnacle of sassiness.

"Hey, Evie got lost first!" Mary blamed the brunette.

"Nu-uh!" She refuted, crossing her arms. "Everyone else got lost! Honey-senpai and I just came back and found everyone gone."

"At least you're all okay," Kaoru shrugged with a sheepish smile. "We were worried for a while."

"Aw~!" Evie squealed, forcefully grabbing his cheeks and stretching them. "That is so _cute!_"

Mary put a hand on her shoulder, pulling her back and releasing the twin. "Down, Evie."

"You still got lost," Hikaru repeated with a snarky smirk.

"You're gonna be losin' a few teeth in a second," Mary threatened, rolling up the sleeve of her frilly blouse. Her adorable outfit completely mooted any intimidating weight she held.

"Everyone in!" Kyoya ordered, firmly pointing at the open limo door. Tamaki was already inside, looking all teary-eyed. As Kyoya had used his rare Shadow King voice, everyone put their tails between their legs and quickly found their seats.

The day had been too much for the Host Club and the girls, and everyone was snoozing away on the long drive home. Mary had sprawled out across an entire row, very unladylike in her skirt as she dreamed with her head propped up on Mori's leg. She and Kaoru had kicked Hikaru off entirely, so he was dozing on the floor, his twin foot to foot with Mary where he slept on his own row of seats. Mori was sleeping like a soldier would, sat upright with his eyes closed yet blinking at every bump in the road. Honey was sat next to him in the corner, curled up and using Evie as a lean to. Kyoya found he was the lucky one to catch the weight with Evie leaning on his shoulder, totally floored despite her usual abundant energy.

"I can't believe we got stuck looking for you guys all day while you got to pick out cute outfits," Tamaki grumped through pouted lips with his arms crossed nearly to his chin. He was the only other one still awake.

Kyoya turned his way, careful not to shift Evie awake. "I assure you it was not as enthralling as you make it out to be. Mary-chan was quite the handful."

"They're interesting though," he said, suddenly more serious. Kyoya watched as Tamaki got that look about him. That scheming face. Nothing sinister of course. Tamaki was too dense for such plotting. But it was that same look he got whenever he had something big on his mind. Like when he played the piano… or when he got the idea for a host club.

Kyoya called him out on it. "They're leaving, you know. I wouldn't get too attached."

"I know," Tamaki replied flippantly, relaxing into his seat and bringing his knee up to lounge.

Kyoya doubted he did. Or if Tamaki did accept their inevitable absence, he wasn't showing it. But Kyoya was betting on the former. He was going to remain oblivious to the dour ending until it came back to bite him in the ass. That's how Tamaki functioned. Ignorance was bliss. Bad news could wait forever and ever for all he cared. Let it pile up until it couldn't hold, and it would all come crashing down at once.

Still, Mary and Evie were a nice addition for the present. Their visit had its oddities and annoyances, but it was good for the Host Club to expand a little. It was almost like having guests around all of the time without the strange doting aspect. Well, every now and again… But it didn't feel like they were on duty to impress anyone. It was nice for them to just be themselves and not worry about making anyone happy. Evie and Mary seemed to be happy with them at the get-go, or rather, they liked them better casually anyways. Mary might have been harder to read with her attitude, but she wouldn't hang around so much if she was decidedly unhappy. And Evie was about as open as a cardboard baby book. Which had its own kind of benefits.

Kyoya suddenly turned to Tamaki, nearly forgetting Evie was still snoozing on his shoulder. "You think they'll stay."

Tamaki couldn't help the grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. He shrugged, appearing content watching his little family all piled together like they were. "We'll see."

He glanced down at Evie, the bag with the Flashmatic clutched tightly in her arms like a teddy bear. Kyoya wondered how their dimension hopping, time travelling device would allow for such a thing. But if he knew anything about his best friend, he knew Tamaki would find a way.


	22. The Distressing Charade in Karuizawa!

So I kind of hit full tilt, and I'm going to start powering through chapters again. I don't want to promise that it'll stay that way, but I'm feeling super confident! There's not a set deadline, but my goal right now is to finish this story before February ends. Let's see what we can do!

Since this chapter was hugely anticipated for Evie, I wanted to make sure it was a memorable one. Though it may be a bit unexpected like last chapter's events, I hope you have plenty of fun along the ride. Because holy hell, it's a long one. Thanks for reading! :D

* * *

><p><strong>The Distressing Charade in Karuizawa!<strong>

* * *

><p>Another beautiful day at Ouran Academy opened up before the girls as they stepped through the portal. Evie staggered and skipped to a halt, waiting for her friend to catch up with her as she smoothed out her hair. Mary threw her bangs over her head, holding the Flashmatic in her fist looking rather exasperated. The circle of light closed behind them, leaving the familiar trail of smoke midair.<p>

"Ah, I haven't felt that sleepy since we got here!" Mary said, pointing the Flashmatic at herself and pressing the spacebar. Her hair wound itself up atop her head in a sporty ponytail with a ribbon, and her outfit from Kyoya and Mori was replaced with a tank top and shorts.

Evie stretched her arms over her head and yawned with a smile. "Yeah, that nap was weird though. I feel all fuzzy like I was put through a clothes dryer."

"That's a good way to describe it," Mary nodded, pointing the Flashmatic at Evie. The brunette held out her arms at the ready and was soon engulfed in static. When she re-emerged, she was in jean shorts and a halter, her hair styled into another smooth ponytail. "Don't you think that's weird, though? That we're not tired yet?"

"Or hungry? Yeah," Evie agreed, looking up at the front entrance to the school where they appeared. The massive pillars loomed over her, almost seeming to bend above their heads. "This Flashmatic stuff is still kind of bizarre, but I think we're getting used to it! This is definitely the best sleepover I've ever been to."

Mary laughed, placing the Flashmatic in their Ouran tote and double checking to see Evie's pajamas, stuffed cat, and the precious paper of codes were all inside before fastening it closed. She planted her hands on her hips and took a deep breath. "Well, sorry your adventure yesterday was a failure. Maybe we can change that today."

"Failure? It was so fun though!" Evie pouted, slouching her shoulders. "Honey-senpai bought me a sandwich – what more can ya ask for?"

"Touché," Mary pointed. With a sneaky grin, she hopped down the stairs with a spring in her step, taking the long drive at a brisk pace.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Evie waved. When she was ignored, she huffed and chased after her in pursuit. When she caught up, she poked Mary's shoulder. "Hey. Are you skipping classes again? Come to think of it, we should both be in our uniforms."

"Class? Ha!" Mary cackled. "Classes are _over_. We missed exams and all the rest."

"We missed exams?! Oh, no!" Evie held her face in worry. "Do you think they'll let me retake them?! It wasn't my fault!"

Mary glowered at her friend's responsible nature. "Evie. We don't even really go here. These grades don't matter."

"Mm…" she frowned, still feeling like she was doing something wrong. Evie kicked a pebble that went bouncing off into the grass.

"Cheer up! It's summer break! Do you know what that means?" Mary prompted. They reached the end of the drive, and she looked both ways before carefully stepping up to the curb. There were no puddles in sight in the heat, but she wasn't taking any chances. She had learned her lesson last episode.

"Um… um… vacation? Again?" Evie guessed.

"Yes! And this time, I'm taking the reins!" Mary determined, waving at a passing car. It sped by, and she cursed under her breath. She turned back to her befuddled companion, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Look, just do what I say, and you'll have a blast."

"Your crazy face is hard to trust," Evie said, watching as Mary ran down the street, arms flailing over her head. This time the cab stopped, a little blue car with the taxi sign magnetized to the roof. Mary waved her over, and Evie dashed to catch up as the blonde gave quick instructions to the driver.

"And give the bill to Kyoya Ootori. He'll know what to do with it," Mary smirked.

The driver nodded, taking note of the name as Evie looked between them. "What's going on? AH!"

Mary shoved Evie through the open door. Evie tumbled across the seat, landing on the floor with one leg in the air. "You've just been kidnapped!"

"What?!" Evie shrieked. She caught the Ouran tote before it could hit her in the face. "Mary!"

"Take that – in case something goes wrong!" Mary grinned. She hesitated and leaned in, snatching the bag back and taking Evie's cat Fluffy from it. She tossed the bag at Evie again. "Actually, I'll need this."

"Fluffy?! Mary!" Evie protested again. But Mary just slammed the car door and ignored her poor friend's pleas.

"Have a good trip!" Mary smiled sweetly, using Fluffy's paw to wave at her through the window.

"_Mary!"_ Evie scrambled up, grabbing for the door, but it was no use.

"See you in Karuizawa!" Mary waved, giggling madly. She gave the taxi a slap, and the tires peeled Evie away down the road. She was in the back window, yelling and waving her arms.

Mary took a deep breath of the warm, summer air. Spinning on her heel, she made her way back toward the campus property with her head in the clouds. She gave the cat in her arms a pat in mischievous thought, looking much like a cliché movie villainess.

Reaching into her pocket, Mary procured the previously unseen, stolen cell phone she had filched in the last episode. She could hardly believe he didn't notice when she took it, let alone that it carried over. Flipping it open with a flick of her wrist, Mary hummed down at the pages of contacts. "Hm… How am I going to play this one?"

* * *

><p>Tamaki Suoh was having pleasant dreams of his happy, host family all living together and baking sugar cookies when he was awoken by a familiar ringtone. Dream bubble popped, he pouted and huffed into his pillow. With a messy yet impressively stylish bedhead, Tamaki reached for his old-fashioned phone on his ornate bed stand and clumsily grabbed for the receiver. "Myello?"<p>

His bleary eyes blinked in confusion as he only heard a dial tone and the continuation of the pop song playing somewhere else in the room. More awake, Tamaki sat up and looked around him. Spotting his cell phone buzzing at the foot of his massive bed, he dropped the corded phone and crawled to it, plopping down and looking at the pictured contact. He smiled with a happy wag of his tail as he flipped it open to answer. "Kyoya! Good morning! What are you doing up so early?"

"_This isn't him, senpai,"_ a girl's voice came through from the other end.

Tamaki's brow scrunched, double-checking the picture and seeing his be-speckled friend there. He put his ear to the piece again. "I'm sorry; I must be mistaken."

Mary rolled her eyes, putting on her faux offended voice. _"Daddy, how can you not recognize me?!"_

He perked up instantly, sitting up straight with his excited, puppy face. "Ma-chan!"

_Okay, that's a new one,_ Mary chuckled at yet another new nickname. She happily kicked her shoe against where she still stood on the sidewalk, leaning against the front gate with the stuffed cat in her spare hand. "Yeah, it's me."

Tamaki furrowed his brow again, settling his shoulders. "Is Kyoya there? Why do you have his phone?"

Mary hummed in thought. She was going to build up to that, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. To the phone, she played coy. "Oh? You don't know? We're dating."

She heard nothing on the other end for a good four seconds as an ellipses appeared over her head, but she didn't have to wait any longer. At a ridiculous speed, a limousine pulled up to her exact location. The wind rush nearly knocked Mary off her feet, making her grateful she chose to wear something that wasn't a skirt today.

Out from the car leapt Tamaki, fully dressed and presentable in the impossibly short time limit he was given. He had tears leaking out of his eyes as he sprinted for her like an Olympic runner, taking her by the shoulders with roses appearing around their persons to express his over-dramatic sorrow.

"How couldn't you tell me?! Don't you want Daddy's approval?" Tamaki's lip quivered.

Mary snapped the phone closed with a satisfied expression, looking up at him. "Huh. Impressive timing, senpai. Knew that'd get you over here. Can you return this to Kyoya-senpai for me? Thanks."

His whole scenario imploded, Tamaki's outstretched, frozen hand caught the cell phone Mary tossed to him. He stood as a white shadow, a leaf in the wind, unable to process what was going on. "Not… dating…?"

"Of course not! I just took his phone when he was paying for my clothes," Mary decided that sounded much meaner out loud, but she shrugged her shoulders. "I needed to get the ball rolling for this somehow. And you're just the ticket! Your freak out abilities are somewhat supernatural."

Tamaki hadn't heard anything after the negative, coming up behind her and giving her a hug. Back to his charming, gallant persona, he proudly said: "I knew you wouldn't date anyone behind your father's back. Don't you worry; Daddy will protect you!"

"Ah, senpai! Stop!" Mary swatted at him above her head, but she found herself laughing at his antics. She spun around to face him, staring into his owlishly blinking eyes. Tamaki really had the prettiest eyes she had ever seen – cartoon or otherwise. And they were best like this. When he was looking like a silly idiot. So she brightly announced to them: "The real reason I needed to call you was because Evie's been kidnapped!"

Mary was suddenly the brunt of his usual fury held against the twins, putting her in a place of humored awe and panic as if she would wet herself like the skittish dog Hikaru pegged her for all those episodes ago. Tamaki's eyes lit on fire, and his tongue became snakelike akin to Renge's as he took her shoulders and shook her back and forth.

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS SOONER?! HAVE YOU NO LOVE FOR YOUR SISTER?" He fumed in his paranoia.

"We're… not… related… senpai…" she said with every bob of her head. Tamaki released her, and her head rolled until her pupils found their proper spots.

"She's somewhere out there! Lost! In danger!" Tamaki wept, arms to the sky. He hit the ground with his knees, making Mary wince for him as he held his face in his hands. "And we've nothing to go on! We'll never find her! She's gone forever!"

"Except her cat!" Mary provided, holding the orange plush forward. "See, the uh, kidnappers left this cat behind with… a clue."

"A clue? What clue?" Tamaki sprung up, fist clenched in determination.

Mary scratched her nose, remembering too late that was a clear sign of a liar. She tried to pass it off as casual even though she couldn't even look him in the eye, but she doubted that Tamaki was anywhere near observant enough to detect her deceit. "Well…"

* * *

><p>"So that's it, men!" Tamaki declared, putting his foot down before them in the helicopter. He slammed his map of the area down so everyone could see it, but only a handful of them were attentive. "All of the clues point to this unassuming bed and breakfast in Karuizawa!"<p>

"I was wondering where my cell phone went," Kyoya muttered, pressing two fingers to his glasses frames. They shone with his anger.

"Heh, heh, heh, yeah, imagine that?" Mary awkwardly chuckled, sure to put Tamaki between them for the flight to shield her. "Good thing it wasn't missed?"

He flipped open his new one, typing into it as he spoke. "I wasn't about to go a day without it. I have spares, anyways. You and your kleptomaniac tendencies might as well keep the old one."

Mary huffed at her bangs, but she couldn't blame his attitude. The square phone was stolen from her hands, and she reached for it with a short protest. "Hey! Didn't you hear? That's mine now. Paws off!"

"We can help update it to suit you," Kaoru said, already poking through the purple device and deleting things.

Hikaru hung off his brother's shoulder, leaning on him to see the little screen. "Yeah, you can't just walk around without a customized cell phone. And we can put you in our friends' circle, so we can get free talk and text."

"I'm so honored," Mary rolled her eyes, slightly disappointed the field of flowers skipping montage didn't appear.

"This is an important briefing, you guys!" Honey-senpai interrupted, wearing an army helmet and war paint. All of his little flowers around his head were appropriately colored camo green. Mori was nodding along with his cousin's sentiments behind him in similar dress. "Evie-chan's been kidnapped! This is serious!"

"Yeah, somehow we doubt that," Hikaru drawled, hugging Kaoru closer.

"WHAT?!" Tamaki screeched. His threatening stomp rocked the entire helicopter, but the only one who seemed to notice was Mary as she clung to her seat.

"Well, it's just not very logical," Kaoru reasoned, holding out a hand as he explained. "What kind of kidnappers tell you where they're going to be? It doesn't make any sense."

"The whole thing reeks of Mary's poor creativity," Hikaru stuck out his tongue. The twins gave her matching, smug smiles as she sweat dropped under their combined gaze. "Sounds like they're looking for excuses to hang out with us over summer break."

"That's…! So… _not_ in the truth department," Mary scoffed, waving them away.

"You missed us~!" The twins teased in unison, poking at her face.

Mary helplessly tried to duck away. "How could I miss you?! I just saw you ten minutes ago!"

"You missed exams," Kaoru reminded her.

"You're going to fail," Hikaru echoed.

"Ah, shut up! I don't care!" Mary whined with her hands over her ears as they continued to annoyingly prod her.

"Do you think Hika-chan and Kao-chan are right, Kyo-chan?" Honey's flowers were spinning with a lackluster buzz in his innocent confusion. "Is this just a way to get us all together?"

Kyoya released his glasses, folding his arms as he looked out the window. "Well, as we all had planned destinations for our own summer vacations across the globe, it's not an implausible theory."

There was silence among the hosts who weren't bothering Mary as they took in this new logic. Their faces fell as the mapped plan of attack before them suddenly appeared incredibly stupid. A tumbleweed rolled by even though they were about three thousand feet or so up in the sky, and they came to a conclusion at last.

"Whoa, personal space is a thing!" Mary yelped, finding Tamaki and Honey suddenly hugging her tight. The twins decided to join in to make her more uncomfortable, and Mori held the outer section of the group, awkwardly leaning down in the cramped space.

"You should've told us you were so lonely, Mary-chan!" Honey wailed.

"Daddy'll never let his precious daughters from his sight again!" Tamaki sniveled with him.

_Wow, they took that well…_ Mary couldn't help but glance at Kyoya who was still looking rather moody. If her luck was any worse, they could've all given her the cold shoulder. Did they really mean that much to the boys?

She couldn't blame Kyoya though. Mary was reckless. Rude. A liability. She was a lot like Renge, in a way. More than she realized. Only she didn't have any of those useful attributes that Renge had. Mary didn't have a particular knack for anything that would help him warm up to her. Something so that she wouldn't be such a useless distraction.

Mary grit her teeth, having that familiar advice trail through her mind that not everyone was supposed to like her. No magical friendships were made at the get-go. Mary and Evie were lucky enough to get this far with the Host Club, and even though she should have been more grateful for what she had, Mary decided she was going to prove to Kyoya that he was wrong about her. That she would make her mark before the end.

The helicopter landed in a grassy yard, tearing laundry from the line and ripping through trees with the gusts. Tourists pointed and stared as the Host Club alighted from the craft, wondering at first if they were from the government. But when a horde of teenagers poured out and the helicopter took off, people decided they had to be celebrities or really conceited rich people. They couldn't have guessed how right they were.

"Pension Misuzu!" Mary squealed, running ahead to the host's confusion. She ran all across the backyard, pointing out things she recognized from the original show she had watched time and time again. "There's the broken fence! And the axe! Oh my _God_, that axe… And look! The flower vase in the second story window! Eee! It's all here! It didn't change!"

"Why is she excited about random, inanimate objects?" Kaoru whispered to his twin who shrugged in response, both at a loss. The boys watched as she bounced in front of a window where she was pressing her face to the glass and screaming about a piano.

"Well, we had better have a look around while we're here!" Tamaki strode across the grass to follow her.

Honey stood on his tiptoes, holding a hand over his eyes to see in the sunlight. His military regalia disappeared to be replaced with his usual, casual attire and pink pansies. "I wonder where Evie-chan is~?"

"Yeah," Mori said, looking around the place with skepticism. It was cute, but it wasn't exactly their go-to kind of destination. And yet, he nearly forgot he gave up Switzerland for this.

"Right!" Mary's ears perked at hearing her friend's name mentioned. She ran after Tamaki who had made it to the side door. They went in with the Host Club lazily trailing behind them, admiring the quaint setting with its homey, high-vaulted ceiling, large staircase, and cozy sitting areas. Very charming. "Evie~! Evie, we're here!"

She looked left and right, still blissfully enthusiastic like a little girl on her first day of kindergarten. So excitable and ready to see all there was to see. Not spotting her friend, she instead found Misuzu herself. Mary waved like she had known her all her life. "Misuzu-san! Hi!"

Noting the foreigner, Misuzu seemed taken aback that this girl knew her name. Smiling wide in greeting, she flipped back her fake locks. "Welcome, welcome! Guests to Pension Misuzu? My, and what lovely boys!"

"Takashi…?" Honey whispered, pulling at the taller boy's pant leg. He was eyeing Misuzu as if he suspected something was off about the woman.

"Yeah," Mori shortly answered. Indeed, she was a he. Yet very cleverly disguised and rather adorably flamboyant. Neither decided to say anything to betray the crossdresser as Mary continued to peer around Misuzu's massive skirt like Evie would be hiding back there.

"My name's Mary. It's so refreshing here!" Mary introduced herself with a cheery giggle, knowing that was the word to use around him.

"Just what we're going for!" Misuzu took Mary's hands in both of his own, eyes shining with shared enthusiasm for the place. He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "And I envy your company, Mary-chan! Are they celebrities?"

"No, they're just rich people," Mary shook her head. Getting right to the point, she asked: "Have you seen a girl named Evie, Misuzu-san? I sent her on her way here this morning by taxi, but we haven't run into her yet."

Misuzu stood back, tapping his chin and staring at the ceiling in wonder, going back through the patrons he had seen that day. He hummed with a small frown, question marks popping up around his head. "Hm… a Miss Evie, you say? No… No, I can't say that I've had anyone by that name come around here."

Taken aback, Mary warily chuckled, clearing her throat. Misuzu must have been mistaken. "Um, she's a brunette with a high ponytail. Wearing shorts. Was probably causing a scene? Looking lost maybe?"

"No… can't say that rings any bells, dear," Misuzu shook his head sadly, holding his arms out in surrender.

Mary stood very still as she took it in. _Evie wasn't here? How? She should have gotten here first!_ Mary bit her thumbnail in worry. If something went wrong, she had the Flashmatic. _Why hadn't she used it? Was the cab merely late? Did she just stop in and go exploring? But why wouldn't she wait for the hosts? Where could she be?!_

* * *

><p>"Uh-oh."<p>

Evie looked at the iron gate before her and the green house beyond. A friendly sign hung on a post by the road. Since they were in the English dub of the show, Evie only had to wait a few seconds before subtitles appeared below the Kanji.

"Mizuzu…" she pursed her lips. That didn't sound right. _Close, but no._ Evie turned back to the street and found that the taxi cab had disappeared. She supposed she could hail another one to get to the right bed and breakfast, but Evie wasn't too keen on racking up more debt with Kyoya.

A laughing couple sidestepped around her as they entered the gate, looking for a cute diner for lunch. Evie got out of their way too late, coming back down from the clouds of her thoughts, and found she was alone on a street somewhere in the Ouran universe. Her hand traced the bag at her hip, feeling the Flashmatic's shape in the corner. But she hesitated.

"Hm… I could stop everything and get Mary… or…" her smile grew as she took a deep breath of the fresh summer breeze. A few birds passed overhead in dizzying circles, landing in a tree across the street. The sidewalks had cheerful passersby, all dressed for the lovely summer day. Evie fell into step with them, putting her hands into her pockets and going off on her own. "An adventure couldn't hurt! It was the whole point of this trip anyways… and I'm in _Karuizawa!"_

The road wound down the hill, and Evie passed little houses and tourist sights, but few of them interested her enough to take a peek inside. She was having too much fun out in the open sunshine, feeling like a real explorer. She was a guest in this world, and as one, she intended to get as much out of it as she could.

The buildings became more and more clustered together, the trees thinning out behind her as the town began to assemble. Evie ran towards it in excitement, dodging a woman digging through her purse. She ran to the first store window, finding it was for pastries, and she eyed them in awe from the outside.

"Ooo… It's so pretty here! I wish I could live in a place like this," Evie said to herself, gawking at each store window in turn as the sidewalks became more crowded. It was a little town though, so there weren't gads of people. Just enough to appear friendly and popular.

Evie looked both ways before she decided to cross the street to have a peek at the shops on the other side. There were no cars or crosswalks for that matter, so she had to jaywalk. She hurried her pace just in case, but before she could get to the other side, a boy on a bike nearly ran straight into her. "Whoa!"

"Sorry!" He apologized, swerving his bike expertly around her.

Evie recognized his voice, blue ball cap, and the watermelon in his bike's basket. She waved as he passed. "Arai!"

His front wheel careened off to the side with his surprise. He let go of one of the handlebars and halted the bike with his foot to look back at her. His brown eyes were surprised. "D-do I know you?"

"Ah, oh, no!" She chuckled, jumping the curb and turning her back on him. "Don't worry – you'll never see me again~!"

"Wha…?!" Arai gaped at the strange encounter. He had to focus on his deliveries though, as they wouldn't last well in the summer heat. With a shrug and a good shake of his head, he propelled his bicycle forward. "What a weird thing to say…"

Hands woven behind her back, Evie walked down the boulevard with a spring in her step and a smile on her lips. There was so much to see here! Karuizawa was the best!

* * *

><p>Mary visibly jumped as Tamaki put a comforting hand on her shoulder. He put on his most dashing smile as he looked to Misuzu. "Would you mind if we used your lovely inn as a base as we regroup? I'm sure Mary-chan would be more than happy to keep you company while we look for our missing friend."<p>

"Oh, that'll be just fine! No problem at all!" Misuzu absolutely swooned from the professional host's charms.

"What? Stay?!" Mary turned on him, moving to push Tamaki's hand off of her shoulder, but she found she couldn't. Had she really messed up so badly? This was supposed to be fun – Evie wasn't supposed to get kidnapped for real! Even though she knew she was over-reacting, she couldn't help as the panic bubbled. "I can't stay! I have to go look for her! It's my fault…!"

Tamaki took her hand in his own and bent down to be at eye level with her. Seeing his sincere face made the tears finally prick Mary's eyes as guilt washed over her. She sniffled, and he gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. We'll find her."

And just like that, he was back to playing following the leader. With a confident hair flip, Tamaki put his hands on his hips and informed the Host Club with a loud voice: "Men, we've got a real missing person! It's up to us to search Karuizawa top to bottom and bring Evie-chan home!"

"Right!" Honey stood straight and clicked his heels, Mori saluting with him at his side.

"She couldn't have gotten far," Kyoya chimed in, opening a brochure that had a visitor's map of the area. He adjusted his glasses as he scanned the quadrants. "My guess is she wound up at the wrong bed and breakfast. Unluckily for us, there are a good dozen or so of those in the area. Our best bet would be to divide and conquer, as it were."

"You heard the man! We all check the locales around our summer houses and go from there, since we'll know those areas best. Move out!" Tamaki pointed to the door. The Host Club hopped to it, filing out in a marching line with Misuzu waving them off with a handkerchief.

"W-wait!" Mary interrupted, holding up her hand to get their attention.

Tamaki turned back and motioned for her to stop like a crossing guard might. It did the trick, and her shoes hit the brakes. "You need to stay here in case Evie-chan comes back."

"Or if she's just late after all!" Honey echoed his reasoning.

Mary bit her lip, looking disgruntled but convinced. She sighed with a nod. "Okay. You're right."

"Nope."

Heads turned to see Hikaru coming back through the group to Mary, leaning an elbow on her head and facing off with the Host Club. "I don't believe her for a second. The minute we leave, she's going to go looking on her own."

"I will not!" Mary barked back, clearly offended as she crossed her arms.

"Hm… Hika-chan has a point…" Honey pondered, looking up to Mori for confirmation.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Oh, come on!" Mary pouted.

"Don't worry, boss; we'll babysit while you guys have a look around~" Kaoru said, mimicking his brother and propping up the opposite elbow atop Mary's head on the other side of her. He poked her in the neck, and she flinched away from him in irritation.

Tamaki didn't seem completely convinced. He didn't like that they were losing man power. To further persuade him, Hikaru handed Mary back the cell phone they had been fiddling with. "And if anything happens, we've all got phones now to keep in touch. Go on – you're burning daylight."

"Very well," Tamaki nodded. Putting a determined foot forward, he went out the door with the three other boys trailing after him. "We've got a lot of ground to cover with less man power, so be quick! Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!"

Once the door closed behind Kyoya, Mary left the twins behind to make her way to the dining area. Over her shoulder, she quipped: "I'm not planning on going anywhere, you know. You're wasting your time here."

"Still don't trust you," Hikaru said, holding his hands behind his neck.

Mary switched directions, heading straight for Misuzu. Her smile returned as she addressed him. "Hey, Misuzu-san, can I rent that last room you have upstairs?"

"How did you know our little inn was so full?" Misuzu chortled, a little creeped out despite himself.

"One room? What are we supposed to do?" Kaoru asked.

"Oh, you guys have summer houses just around the block – you'll survive," she chirped as Misuzu showed her up the stairs to where she and Evie could stay.

The brothers waited patiently until she came hopping back down, sliding her hand along the banister. "Okay, glad that's settled. Has Evie shown up yet?"

"In the thirty seconds you were gone?" Hikaru teased. She rolled her eyes and walked to the dining room, winding her way past breakfast tables to get to the front.

"I wonder what kind of food do they have here?" Kaoru wondered, ignoring Mary's question completely as he followed her. She hopped up onto a barstool at the counter, and he sat beside her, surveying the chalkboard menu with interest.

Mary propped her chin up in her palm, giving him a seedy, sideways glance. "Gee, you sound so worried."

"Well, you know as well as anyone that Evie-senpai likes to wander off. Why not let her have her fun?" Kaoru explained, still reading the board as he folded his arms on the counter. He returned her sideways stare. "Besides, Tono will find her if she's actually lost. He's got that uncanny ability."

"I guess you're right…" Mary sighed, blowing at her bangs. She scoffed under her breath. "I bet I couldn't lose him even if I tried. I feel like such an idiot. He's too forgiving!"

"Yeah. He is," Hikaru said, placing his hand on her head and using her to hike himself up onto the stool to her right. He spun to the side so he was facing Mary and his brother. "So quit worrying."

Mary smirked mischievously, getting her revenge by reaching up and mussing his hair in turn. "You guys are awfully friendly lately. Is there any particular reason I should know about, or am I just going to find out that I'm in debt to you later?"

Kaoru snickered, leaning his elbows back on the counter behind him. He swung his stool back and forth as he talked. "If it wasn't obvious, friends of ours are pretty… exclusive, I suppose. For lack of a better word."

"Kaoru…" his brother warned. Mary was looking between them like they were playing ping pong.

He shrugged in return. "I'm just saying – it's kind of nice. We've never had anyone who could tell us apart before, so it feels like we're getting a clean slate."

"Well, I'm glad we're all being civil… for once," Mary mumbled with a shy smile. "And before it ends and we all act like assholes who can't get along again, I just want to let you guys know that before I knew Tamaki-senpai's backstory, you guys were my favorites. Still kind of are in a different way, but don't tell him that. It'd make him go nuts again. Like when I lied and told him I was dating Kyoya-senpai this morning."

"Why would you do that?" Kaoru laughed.

"It's all about the reaction~" Mary practically purred. She held her stool underneath her, kicking her feet. "Thanks, Kaoru. You, too, Hikaru. You guys are pretty good at charming girls after all."

Hikaru brought the topic around to be less serious, but mostly to give his face a chance to lessen in the noticeably red hue. "What kind of stuff do they have here? Anything we'd like?"

"Mm…" Kaoru hummed thoughtfully, unable to make up his mind as he turned his attention back to the menu. "We could always try something new…"

"Hello, there!"

All three turned to see a girl walking up behind the counter, drying her hands on her frilly cream colored apron. Her long brown hair was pulled back behind her head with a bandana, and her smile was polite and friendly. Mary's jaw nearly dropped at seeing her, but the girl didn't seem to notice her shock. Instead, Haruhi Fujioka happily stood before them and lightly bowed. "What can I get you?"

* * *

><p>Evie was wishing she had spending money for souvenirs, as everything she passed looked like it was the best thing ever. Baubles and trinkets that wouldn't look as nice if she had a pocket full of precious cash. She huffed at her hair, slouching her shoulders as she baked on the pavement. "This place is so hot…"<p>

She turned, stopping suddenly to look up at the sky. Lucky for her that she didn't cause a pedestrian pile up, Evie stared at the distant clouds over the mountains. "Hm… could be that storm making things humid."

"Storm?" A man asked, stopping after hearing Evie talking to herself. He too took a glance at the sky, appearing unconvinced. "Looks like clear skies to me."

"Trust me! It's coming," Evie smirked as the businessman gave her a doubtful shrug. "Tomorrow afternoon; mark my words."

"The girl's right!" An old man sitting in front of his store piped up. They gave him their attention, and he continued, slapping his leg. "I can feel it in my knees!"

"See? There you go! That's science, sir," Evie saluted the two, keeping up her brisk pace down the sidewalk as they watched her go. She could hear them keeping up the debate, bickering over the subtle changes in the atmosphere until their voices faded.

Evie rounded the bend and stopped dead. Around the corner of a dim alley, an orange tail disappeared. Knowing it anywhere, Evie pointed with a shout: "Cat!"

She dashed after it in pursuit, her shoes squeaking as she took the turn sideways. The silhouette of the cat leapt up a mound of boxes, piled high next to a store's side door. Evie caught a trashcan before it overturned as she stood underneath it, watching the oddly solid colored cat walk along the roof tiles above.

Snapping her fingers, Evie left the alley and walked the sidewalk again, looking up every now and again to keep her eyes on the cat. She accidentally shoulder checked a guy on his cell phone and profusely apologized before she hurried on her way. Once she rounded the corner again, the shops had ended. There was just one, long fence and rows and rows of dumpsters lined along it. The cat was nowhere in sight.

"Strange… what a cat. I could have sworn…" Evie mumbled, eyes peeling the area despite the feeling the chase was over. She shook her head, giving up. "Darn. Guess it was nothing."

"Hey, lady!"

Evie whirled around, spinning a pirouette as she peered down at the little voice reprimanding her. A girl no higher than her waist had her hands on her hips and pigtails in her hair. There was a pebble in her fist. "Ya mind? You're standing on our hopscotch!"

"Oh! Sorry," Evie jumped aside, spotting the numbered squares beneath her feet. She watched as two other little girls lined up to the side while the first neatly tossed her rock and daintily skipped across the board. She got to her pebble and collected it proudly, getting off for the next girl. Evie frowned. "That's not how you play."

"Huh?" A girl with cropped black hair tilted her head at her. "It's not?"

"What do you know?" The first blonde stuck her nose in the air. She was similar to Kirimi in appearance, but boy, was there a jarring difference in their personalities.

The third little girl with a ribbon in her hair shyly came up to Evie, holding out her open palm with a rock in it. "How do you play?"

Evie smiled, taking the rock from her. She carefully moved around the chalk game, lining herself up at the first number. She set her shoulders and rolled the rock until it landed on the number seven. "Okay, seven. So…!"

Evie picked up her left foot, jumping forward with her right. Hopping on one foot for the first three squares, she jumped down with both feet when two squares were side by side. For the next, she dodged the square with her pebble and continued until the end of the trail. Turning on one foot, she made a show of being off balance. The girls giggled at her dramatics.

"Now on the way back, we get our rock – ah!" Evie nearly upset herself for real, eyes bugging until she was stable. With the rock in her fist, she confidently hopped the rest of the way back to the start. She stuck the landing and held her arms up for the girls' uproarious cheering. She handed the pebble to the girl with the ribbon. "And that's a better challenge! Try throwing more than one for an even tougher game."

"Okay, okay, let me try!" The blonde laughed, running to the front.

"You already went – I wanna go first!" The second girl pushed ahead, throwing her rock.

"Hold your horses, girls!" Evie laughed, pulling their shoulders apart. She squatted down to get to their height. "Hey, to determine who goes first, why don't you pick a number between one and ten? Whoever's closest to the one I'm thinking of will go first and so on. Seem fair?"

All three begrudgingly nodded in response. Evie smiled, shifting her feet. "Okay, close your eyes!"

"What for?" The blonde grumbled.

"Close your eyes and try to picture the number I'm thinking of. I'm projecting the answer to you telepathically! Let's see who the best psychic is!" Evie winked, rubbing her temples to convince them.

The three shut their eyes and concentrated hard. Evie hummed and kept up the show, as the second girl peeked. "No peeking!" Her eye shut tight once again.

"Okay…" Evie decided it had been long enough. She stood up straight. "Guess!"

"Three!" The blonde shouted first as she bounced up and down.

"Seven!" The brunette hollered, waving her arm over her head.

"Eight!" The third with the ribbon guessed.

"Ding, ding, ding!" Evie congratulated. She picked up a pebble and handed it to the girl with a grin. "It was eight. Right on the dot!"

"Haha, Tomiko's a bad mind reader!" The second girl teased, taking her place in line. Tomiko huffed, sticking her nose in the air.

"Have fun, guys!" Evie waved as she went on her way.

"Bye, lady!" They all waved in return, going back to their game and giggling with one another.

Evie fondly smiled, sticking her hands in her short pockets as she made her way back to town. Since she was staring at her shoes, she didn't see the person still waiting for her at the corner. "Finished playing school teacher?"

She stopped, holding her heart in surprise. Recognizing Kyoya, she smiled. "Oh, jeez! You scared me!"

"You surprised me earlier," Kyoya admitted, rubbing his shoulder.

Evie gasped, remembering the random guy she had run into while she was looking for the cat. "That was you?! I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you – I was looking for… well… I'm sorry. That was rude."

Kyoya shrugged. He was aloof as usual. "Don't bother apologizing again – you already have. You seem to have been misplaced from Pension Misuzu. We should head back; Tamaki has everyone running to find you."

"Oh! I didn't know I was being looked for," Evie admitted, catching up as he started back up the street. She folded her hands before her, walking like a proper lady while Kyoya had one hand casually in his pocket and the other on his phone's dial pad. When it wasn't his notebook, it seemed to be his phone he was always busy with. She peeped at the screen. "Sorry for always going missing."

"It seems to be a frequent occurrence lately, yes," Kyoya admitted, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Yeah…" she wasn't feeling apologetic anymore, so she left it at that.

Kyoya listened to it ring twice before it cut off. He looked at the screen, finding the signal had been lost. He snapped it closed.

"What's the matter?" Evie asked.

"No reception," he reported with a tired sigh.

"Oh," she commented. _Now what?_

* * *

><p>"Haruhi! Fujioka!?" Mary burst, unable to stop herself.<p>

Haruhi peered at her in perplexity, her brow knit in confusion. "I'm sorry. Have we met?"

Mary bit her lip, feeling all eyes on her. She couldn't think of a good excuse for knowing her name. _Damn! If I had that Flashmatic, I could just rewind!_ "Um… Eh…"

"Oh, do you guys go to Ouran Academy?" She asked with interest, probably recognizing the twins and their disinterested frowns. "It's only my first yea—"

Mary leapt forward and held a hand over Haruhi's mouth, getting startled looks from all three of them. She laughed loudly to cover up what Haruhi had said. "Hahaha, yeah! Do you go to one of the public schools nearby? You know… because everyone knows Ouran students _aren't allowed_ to have jobs over summer break…"

"Oh!" Haruhi blinked at her once the hand was removed from her mouth. She scratched at her temple with a sheepish expression. "I… I honestly had no idea."

"Yeah, so it's cool you know about Ouran though. Good school, yes; can I have a lemonade?" Mary prattled off. They might have been willing to have fun with it when they knew Haruhi, but Mary didn't trust the boys not to rat her out just for kicks in this parallel storyline. The thought made her feel queasy.

"Coming right up! Anything for you two?" Haruhi looked between the twins' faces for a response.

Hikaru spoke up, holding up a hand to summon her. "Yeah, is that your full selection? I'd like something a little more exotic. Is there any mango juice?"

"That's today's menu, but um… right away. I'll see what I can do," Haruhi bowed again and quickly went around to the back, giving Mary one last glance before she disappeared.

Whereas Hikaru was bored and drumming his fingers on the table as they waited, Kaoru was studying Mary and looking between her and the door Haruhi took. "Why don't you want us talking to her?"

Mary blanched, scared that he had seen right through her. She awkwardly picked at the ends of her ponytail. "Because she seems nice, and I don't want you two messing with her."

"Why? Jealous?" Kaoru stuck his tongue out.

She blushed and shook her head. But she was glad that they hadn't asked about knowing her name. Perhaps it wasn't so suspicious since Mary had known Misuzu. "Of course not! She's just… a person we know through the Flashmatic, that's all."

"Well, I don't see how a simple waitress has anything to do with meddling with the future, but whatever," Hikaru griped, picking at the chipped stain of the table.

_No, because it was about meddling with the past._ Aloud, Mary shushed him. "Sheesh, don't be so rude…" Mary chided in a whisper as the serving door opened once again.

Haruhi reappeared with two glasses. She placed Mary's lemonade before her and set the second down before Hikaru. Holding her tray, she smiled at them again. "Order up! We actually had some pineapple juice, but that's about as exotic as it gets around here. I hope it's okay – it's even on the house! Misuzu told me that you guys are waiting for your friends, so you could use a treat."

Mary was genuinely touched. She wanted to talk to this Haruhi one on one. She was sweet, hard at work, and on the fast track to a law degree. This Haruhi was free of distractions, but she was still so kind and intuitive. And she didn't have to keep her hair short, letting it grow back out to her shoulders. Mary wondered if those squared off bangs were somewhere under that bandana.

Hikaru swirled the glass, pursing his lips. He handed it back to her. "Actually, can I get this without ice? It's going to melt and water it down and make it inedible."

Haruhi blinked at him, her smile wavering. It was that look she gave the hosts in the usual show, but her plastered grin was still there because of her job. Mary could practically hear her signature 'damn rich people' snark as she picked up the glass and nodded, quickly leaving.

"Hikaru! That was so rude!" Mary defended her. "She gave that to you free of charge – that was so nice of her. She didn't have to do that."

"Well, I wasn't going to drink it anyways. It wasn't what I asked for," he shrugged. He glared at her, more suspicious now. "What's your problem?"

"_My_ problem?" She seethed. "What's yours?! You're not supposed to talk to her like that! You're…! You…"

"What?" Kaoru bounced back into the conversation, watching as her temper rose.

_You're supposed to be falling in love with her…_ But Mary couldn't tell them that. Glaring back at Hikaru, she couldn't tell him how it was supposed to be. The canon story. This farce of theirs was ruining everything. It was all fun and games, but seeing these characters so torn apart from what they were originally supposed to be was jarring. As a fellow author, Mary was strict for the intent of the script, for what the writer penned. It was the final say. The only one that mattered. _That's_ how things were supposed to go. For Hikaru to treat Haruhi like that… it wasn't right. _And it was all their selfish fault!_

Mary clutched her glass of lemonade, lost deep in thought and losing her grip on her sense. Kaoru tentatively reached out for her shoulder, not quite going all the way and just hovering in hesitation. "You alright…?"

"It doesn't matter anyways," Hikaru continued, lazily leaning into his hand. "It's not like I'm asking much. It's her job, so she shouldn't be such a pain in the ass about it. The girl should be happy she has work to do."

Glass shattered, and everyone in the vicinity jumped. It had been the last straw, and Mary's anger snapped, including the poor drinking glass in her hand. Lemonade spilled all over the counter, dripping to the floor and puddling at her feet. Mary was standing, not realizing she had done so until she felt the silence in the room with the feeling of eyes on her. But she wasn't glaring anymore – she was wide eyed with shock, seeing the disbelief and astonishment in Hikaru's face. It was the same face when he was slapped. In the same seat.

"Mary, your hand!" Kaoru warned behind her.

Mary was entranced for a split second before she looked down. She saw the shards of glass on the table, unable to believe her hand had the strength to do that. Her eyes gravitated to her palm, and she saw red. It snapped her back into reality.

She let out a nervous laugh, staring at the fragments left. Mary hesitated before quickly hiding her injured hand behind her back, slowly back up. She shook her head and ran for the safety of the staircase.

* * *

><p>"Senpai? …Senpai. Senpai. Senpai, are you lost?"<p>

"I am not lost," Kyoya denied, reading the street sign and giving it a confused frown. He paused. "Perhaps…"

"Don't you have a map?" Evie asked, stopping at the sign and leaning against it. She lifted one of her shoes and rolled her ankle in the air. After the half hour of walking they had done, it felt like they were in _The Lord of the Rings_. Her shoes were killing her, as sandals were hardly hiking material. "You always come prepared with this kind of stuff."

He snorted, remembering the fiasco of Tamaki taking the map from him and running around with his nose to it like a blood hound sniffing a trail. "Tamaki has it. And there continues to be no cell phone service."

"So we appear to be lost," Evie concluded with a grin.

"Yes, it appears so. I don't know what you're so happy about. Is going missing a hobby of yours?" Kyoya bantered back, casually crossing his arms as he stationed himself across from her under the awning of an ice cream joint.

"Funny you'd say that – _you're_ supposed to be the rescue party," she teased with a chuckle. Taking a deep breath, Evie finished stretching her legs and decided she didn't want to stand anymore. "Well, it's no use just standing around here—"

"On the contrary, this is a high traffic part of town," Kyoya corrected, back to fiddling with his glasses frames as usual. "We're more likely to be found if we remain in one spot."

Evie shook her head, stepping across and giving his arm a pat. "Aw, that's nice. But you and I both know you want to buy me an ice cream."

She got an incredulous look in return. "What gives you that idea?"

"Come on, please? It's twelve paces that way, and I'm going to start throwing punches if I don't get a seat soon," Evie said, already going to the door and opening it, the bell above the frame jangling.

Kyoya could have remained stubborn, but that didn't sit well with him. So he took the door from her and held it open so she could pass. Evie squealed as she hurried inside, heading straight for the counter and bouncing on her heels as she looked over the different flavors to choose from.

"Okay, chocolate! No, mint. But chocolate… but _mint_…!" Evie whined before the glass.

The guy behind the counter chuckled. "Uh, you can get both, you know."

"I can?!"

He laughed louder. "Yeah, two scoops, any flavor, one price. Up on the board," he tapped the wall behind him.

"Ah…" Evie observed. She spun to face Kyoya, hands already folded in prayer.

"If cheap desserts are your preference…" he shrugged, handing over his gold card. The boy appeared confused as to why he didn't just cough up the short change, but he took the fancy credit card to the register and scanned it through. Little did the fellow know that rich people rarely carried actual currency.

"Whee~!" Evie cheered once her cone was handed over to her. "Thanks, Kyoya-senpai!"

Despite her sillier nature, Kyoya couldn't help but be reminded of his sister Fuyumi when he was around Evie. She had that similar, almost annoying sweetness about her. Always meddling and fussing and humming a song. He pondered their various parallels while sitting on the bench outside the ice cream shop and deemed they were virtually the same person other than their general appearance.

And yet that hopscotch game with the town children came to mind. Kyoya doubted Evie knew he had been there to see the whole thing, and he couldn't help but conclude it was a very Tamaki thing of her to do. He hadn't seen traits of Tamaki Suoh in anyone he had ever met, so it was jarring to see such a special moment as Evie mirrored his best friend as she interacted with the kids.

Evie was absorbed in her ice scream. Still, she decided to strike up conversation. "So what's Mary up to? I can't picture her hoofing it around Karuizawa looking for me, but I'd rather get a warning before I'm bombarded by a fly tackle."

Kyoya ruefully grinned. "Perceptive… Mary-chan was elected to stay at Pension Misuzu in case of your return. The twins are keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't go wandering off as well."

"Ha!" Evie mocked. _I knew it. One of these days, Mary, I'm going to get the twins for an adventure! You Hitachiin hog._ As she reached the cone, she smiled. "Huh. Who knew I'd get mint chocolate chip ice cream twice in one adventure?"

At the strange look Kyoya cast her way, she elaborated. "Oh! Right. You couldn't have known, but Tamaki-senpai gave me some already in my dream when I was the Queen of Hearts."

_Was she insane?! Very plausible_. He decided to think otherwise for the present, determining what she was talking about. "You're quite candid. Especially when it comes to whatever time skipping you and Mary-chan have been doing."

"Well, I know you understand it. You're not going to go all crazy psycho and try to steal the Flashmatic from me," she declared, suddenly giving him a shifty glance. She quickly shuffled her bag to the other side of her. "Right?"

"I have no intention of stealing it," Kyoya said with a calm smile. He looked up at the trees past the building tops. "Though I admit it interests me greatly. To know its limits…"

It didn't even feel like a millisecond passed, and Kyoya's eyes had gone blurry. He wildly looked around and found Evie's fuzzy form swinging her legs casually next to him. Squinting, he could see his glasses perched on her nose. She hummed in musing, holding the previously unseen Flashmatic and slipping it back into her bag. "Very few limits, you see?"

"No, actually," Kyoya reached for her face, missed and tapped her nose, and finally took back his glasses. Once they were safely back where they belonged, he finished his thought. "Now I can see."

Evie gasped, pointing at him. "That was almost a joke! Look at you, Mr. Funny Pants. I'm impressed."

"How fascinating…" Kyoya muttered, touching his glasses again to make sure they were there. He hadn't felt them leave his face to begin with…

"It's fun. You know, if there was anyone who I'd trust this little time pistol to, it'd be you, senpai," Evie confessed. She stared at her near empty cone, spinning it in her wrist with a wry smile. "But I'd hate to risk it at the same time. So far, it only affects Mary and me, so I'd hate for something terrible to happen if I experimented with it. You'd be a sore loss – believe me!"

"How kind. But flattery is a poor substitute," he said, still wanting to see what the Flashmatic could do.

"Evie-chan~!" Honey's little voice called from the distance.

She didn't have a chance to retort or even stand as the little bundle of joy reached them at a run, tackling her with a hug upon reaching them. Evie hugged him back, trying to balance her melting cone in the process. "Honey-senpai! Where'd you come from? Like a bullet, sheesh."

"We've been looking all over for you!" He said, leaving her and looking back on his tiptoes. He waved high over his head to signal Mori who was steadily catching up. Honey put his hands on his hips and used his scolding, parent voice when he addressed Kyoya. "Kyo-chan, you should have called us! We've been walking around for hours, and you've been with Evie-chan this whole time! That's not very nice!"

"Ah," Kyoya remarked, opening his phone and noting the two bars. "We've been without reception for the greater part of the afternoon. Coincidence would have it that it returns once you find us. You have my sincerest apologies, senpai."

"Hear that, Takashi?" Honey stared up at his cousin once he finally arrived. "Kyo-chan's phone wasn't working!"

"Makes sense," Mori said, but he still wouldn't have put it past the glasses character to lie about being off the hook for an hour or two. Kyoya could use a break more than anyone.

"Your phone works?! Great! Gimme!" Evie snatched Kyoya's phone, going through the contacts.

"Is this going to be a regular thing?" Kyoya asked to no one in particular, his cell phone robbed from him once again.

"You said she was with the twins, right?" Evie asked, already holding a hand over her ear to hear more clearly. The phone steadily rang, and she huffed. "Why isn't he picking up?!"

* * *

><p>Feeling sick to her stomach, Mary sat down on the edge of the little bed in the room she rented. The room that was on Kyoya's charge, of course. If he was going to keep track of all of her debts, she was going to make a competition out of it. See how much money she could rack up while they were around.<p>

She had spent the last few minutes picking tiny crystals of glass out of the cuts in her hand, finding a bandage or two in the bathroom's medicine cabinet. She had to admit – Pension Misuzu was well-stocked. Yet Mary had to wonder if they were the same little bandages Kaoru used on his face.

"We got the freak out in the dining room and someone got cut – and all of it was my fault!" Mary huffed, throwing herself back across the thin, cotton blanket and staring up at the ceiling. If Evie were here, she'd be laughing at this kind of ridiculous misfortune. After the scene she'd made, Mary wouldn't blame the twins from ever wanting to see a psychopath like her ever again.

The trail of thought proceeded to remind Mary why she had gotten so upset in the first place. What Hikaru had said was terrible, and it was just made all the worse since he was supposed to be growing closer to Haruhi. His first real connection after Kaoru… And neither Mary nor Evie could offer what she did. Mary scoffed. "I guess that's why she's the main character…"

Two knocks startled Mary into sitting up. At the door was a bashful looking Hikaru, letting his knuckles fall away from the wall where he rapped as he rubbed the back of his neck. When he looked up, it was his turn to be disconcerted. "What's with that face?"

"I…" Mary began, blinking at him. It indeed _was_ Hikaru, which took her off guard. "I was kind of expecting Kaoru in your clothes, but… yeah, that sounds incredibly weird now, never mind."

He lingered by the door, unsure of what to say to that. Which wasn't a point of blame – the accusation was utterly bizarre. But knowing the actions of the twins, it wasn't so out of the ballpark to be impossible. Hikaru sighed and spotted her bandages. "Your hand okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," she shortly answered as she hid her palm, still trying to scope him out. _Why would he come to her? Was he going to yell at her?_ She kind of deserved it – Mary was controlling and abrasive and always flying off the handle. She was a high maintenance friend, which was what she was always trying to avoid to begin with.

Hikaru shuffled his feet, obviously uncomfortable to be alone with her. Even though he had a nastier mouth on him with greater immaturity to boot, Mary deemed Hikaru the shyer twin. He wasn't good at communicating. With anyone, really. It surprised her he talked to Kaoru about anything personal, but even then, she wasn't sure if he did. Not antisocial, but… awkward. More introverted. She'd say sensitive, but she could guess the offended glower he'd give her if she did.

Mary decided to help him out, even though she was equally as mental as he was. She scooted to the far end of her bed, beckoning for him to come in and sit down. As there wasn't a chair or anything, Hikaru took her invite and sat on the opposite corner from where she was. Still, he was stiff as a statue once he sat, becoming The Thinker without the exact pose.

"So, uh… you've got a good arm…" he started, holding his knees.

_Is Hikaru trying to apologize?! Shit, don't ruin this!_ Mary gulped. "Um… thank you."

Sick of the run around, Hikaru stared at the ceiling for comfort as he blurted out: "Okay, look, I guess I was kind of a jerk down there. I'm sorry."

Mary waited, thinking it over. Not liking the near yelling distance, she crawled to the middle of the bed and sat. "Sorry you made me mad or sorry I reacted that way?"

He wasn't expecting to be over-analyzed, and he paled. "Uh… both?"

"Good," Mary gave him a small smile. "Because I'm sorry, too."

"Oh," Hikaru said. The inflection denoted he wasn't expecting an apology to be returned to him. "Okay."

"I know you don't understand why I flipped, and I don't expect you to, but… it'd mean a lot to me if you apologized to Haruhi," Mary requested, twiddling her fingers timidly.

"You seem to know her really well," Hikaru accused, glaring at her perceptively. Mary shrunk under his gaze, and he gave in. "But whatever. Even though I don't think she even knows about—"

"She heard you. Believe me," Mary rolled her eyes. She had worked her fair share of retail, and the back room was _not_ a sound proof place.

"Fine," he agreed. "Then we're good?"

Mary nodded. "Yeah. All good."

It occurred to her that they were still in a show, and she was going to give something to the viewers, dammit. Mary crawled all the way across to meet Hikaru who was looking wary of her as she spread out her arms. "Hell, I'm only here once."

"What?" He asked, the word coming out short.

"Come on. Bring it in," Mary nodded, waving her hands persistently. Hikaru just shook his head at her. "Aw, come on! Don't leave me hanging!"

When he still didn't move to meet her, she dropped her arms. She gave him a deadpan glare. "Look, I promise not to tell anyone or make fun of you for it. Now come on."

Hikaru stared at her outstretched arms in their second attempt. To Mary's surprise, he actually went for it and gave her an awkward hug around the shoulders, lightly patting her back. Mary laughed in delight, squeezing him tight. _She was hugging Hikaru Hitachiin!_ The fangirl inside was all but bursting out having a rave inside her heart. Mary couldn't help but think he was awfully warm for a fictional character.

The phone in his back pocket went off, playing that pop rock song she recognized from the ending credits. Mary tried to reach over his shoulders to retrieve it herself, but Hikaru pushed away and took it out himself. "Will you stop pawing at me?!"

"I was just trying to answer it!" Mary pouted. _Eh, you could only get so much at once._

Hikaru eyed the contact and flipped the phone open. "Kyoya-senpai? You find her?"

"_Find who? Who is this?!"_ The voice on the other end of the line barked.

Mary recognized it, snatching the phone from Hikaru whose only protest was an annoyed 'hey!' "Evie! Where have you been?! I've been worried sick!"

"_Aw, I was just teasing! Put Hikaru back on the phone!"_ Evie whined.

"Ugh!" Mary scoffed, insulted. She told her friend as much as she hopped from the bed to stand indignantly. "I am insulted!"

"_Good! I'm coming to kick your butt!"_ Evie threatened with glee.

"Why?! What did I do?" Mary asked. Hikaru reached over her shoulder to get his phone, and she dodged him.

"_You threw me in a taxi and stole my cat!"_ She rightly accused.

"Right…" Mary whispered, spotting the plush tabby on her pillow.

Evie shifted the phone to her other ear, fighting off a bouncing Honey who was desperate to say hello to the twins and Mary. _"Well, I've got the gang, so we're heading back to Pension Misuzu. Just one thing."_

"Whatcha need?" Mary asked.

"She kind of called my phone, remember? Pretty clear indicator I should be talking here," Hikaru stood to retrieve his cell, but Mary eyed him before running around the room as he chased after her, eventually leaving the room entirely and making for the staircase.

"_Are you okay?"_ Evie asked, listening to all of the scuffling.

"Mary, give it back!" Hikaru called after her.

"No!" Mary defied, hopping atop the banister and sliding down. She stuck the landing and staggered. "Phew! Never done that… Okay, what were you saying?"

"_Where are you?"_

"Pension Misuzu. Duh," Mary answered, lazily walking now to meet up with Kaoru.

"_Okay… where is that?"_

"What?! You guys got lost?" Mary face palmed. Hikaru finally caught up with her, and she jammed the phone in his face. "Here. Be their Google Maps."

"What…?" Hikaru asked, looking to his brother for answers, but Kaoru hadn't a clue what was going on. Mary high fived him without thinking, howling in pain when her wounded hand was slapped. Hikaru had to cover his ear to be able to hear over her cursing. "Evie? Put Kyoya-senpai on the line."

"Why I never!" Evie gasped. She had her hands on her hips, as her tone dictated. "Hikaru, I am your senpai, and I demand to be treated as such!"

Hikaru rubbed his forehead, but he was still able to find humor in the whole situation. And Evie didn't have to see him to know he was Hikaru, even after all of the commotion on their end and passing the phone around. He smiled. "Just hand over the phone."

It wasn't much longer afterwards that the group meandered their way back to Pension Misuzu. They were greeted with the typical hug tackles and arm punches they were accustomed to, and Misuzu brought out a pie for the hungry adventurers, happily juggling his flowers akin to Honey's.

As Haruhi served it on plates to pass around, Hikaru approached her at the counter. Mary nudged Evie to get her attention, surprised he didn't require any further prompting or prodding to go apologize.

"Hey… Fujioka, right?" Hikaru addressed her with more confidence than when he went through apologies with Mary.

"I'm sorry?" She asked, worried about all of these strange kids knowing her name out of the blue.

"I'm sorry I was rude earlier. Just… you didn't deserve that," he said. Mary and Evie cooed in the background at his sincerity, savoring their cream pie that also prevented them from talking. They mimed to each other, understanding the shared feels.

Haruhi smiled. "Thank you. That's nice of you to say. Must've taken a lot of guts! I appreciate it."

"Okay, but seriously, what is this all about?" Evie whispered after she swallowed.

Mary finished her bite and nodded to her best friend. "Don't worry – I'll explain everything later. After you tell me about what the heck you were up to all day."

"Kyoya bought me ice cream~!" She sang, making her fork dance in the air before she plunged it into her slice of pie. She was having a very sugary day.

Mary nearly choked on hers. "Say what?! Jeez, we were practically double dating today…"

"Huh?" Evie innocently cocked her head to the side. Mary just rolled her eyes.

The front door to the bed and breakfast opened and Tamaki crawled in, late to the party.

"Food… water… no Evie-chan…" he coughed, landing on his face.

"Boss, she's been here an hour. Where've you been?" Hikaru said, pouring maple syrup over his pie and passing the bottle to his brother.

Tamaki looked up and saw Evie standing next to Mary, both girls staring down at him with the same expression of calm indifference.

"Oh, hey," Mary greeted, taking their empty plates and passing them off to Haruhi behind the counter. She knew better to get the hell out of the way.

"Hey, senpai!" Evie chirped.

"EVIE~!" Tamaki celebrated with happy tears, pouncing on her like a puma going in for the kill. Evie only had time to shriek in fear as he proceeded to squish the life out of her. "Daddy was looking all over for you!"

"That's not really her father… right?" Haruhi asked as she set down her own finished plate and took the two from Mary.

"Nah," Mary shook her head, leaning against the counter. "He's just insane."

"Daddy loves you~!"

"Senpai, I can't _breathe_—!"

Haruhi watched the spectacle with wide, shell-shocked eyes. "She's going to be alright… right?"

"You get used to it. Believe me…" Mary gave her a sideways, cryptic glance with a cocky grin. "_You_'ll know what I mean."

Haruhi could only decide they were all freaks, shaking her sorry head and getting back to work as her boss Misuzu catered to the roguishly handsome Mori, offering him more pie that he only accepted so he could pass it off to a delighted Honey.

Once things calmed down enough to wrangle Evie away from Tamaki's iron grip, everyone settled down in the sitting area where the grand piano was waiting. It didn't take much convincing (more like flattery on Mary's part) for Tamaki to sit at the bench and begin to play before the hosts all went to their respective summer homes for the evening.

Just like in the original episode, people heard Tamaki play and came in from the street and opened their windows to hear the beautiful, lilting music. As the sun gently set in pink hues over the mountaintop, stretching long shadows across Karuizawa, the land almost felt surreal with the piano's tune. The whole world seemed to hush and listen in as Tamaki's fingers expertly navigated the keys.

Mary crept up behind Hikaru where he sat on the sofa, one knee up as he reclined. She folded her arms across the back cushion and his shoulder, making him start in surprise. She didn't move, just content to lean and see Tamaki play.

Though she had promised she wasn't going to tease him, Hikaru realized Mary wasn't going to be leaving him alone much anymore. But he couldn't say that was the worst thing that could happen. He leaned his head against hers, enjoying the company as he got to watch one of his favorite people in the world do what he did best.

Evie was sitting on the floor in front of the same sofa, using it as a lean to. She had been watching the genuine smile on Kyoya's face as he thought he was going unnoticed in the corner by the window. She had chosen that particular spot since Honey-senpai was in the chair beside her, curled up with a full belly, and Mori was standing above them both with his elbows on the chair's plushy back. But Evie slowly turned and looked past Kaoru, spotting Mary and Hikaru together with a scandalized smile of excitement overtaking her.

Unable to keep it to herself, Evie subtly tugged on Kaoru's pant leg. Startled, he looked down and found Evie stifling her giggles. He leaned down to hear her whisper. "Someone's looking pretty cozy, eh?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion, turning to his twin on instinct. Kaoru quickly looked away once he saw, not wanting to ruin it. He focused ahead on purpose, staring intently at the piano and yet not really seeing it. Kaoru smiled, leaning back down to whisper back, but he hesitated and decided to keep it to himself. He just nodded.

Kaoru was surprised when Evie gave his hand a squeeze, playing the same game of staring at Tamaki. He hadn't realized it, but he appreciated the reassurance and felt more at ease. It was good… good for Hikaru. _If only he could help it along…_

Evie bit her lip in excitement, knowing what was coming next.


End file.
